tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 8, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
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i'm jimmy kimmel, the host of the show. i'm glad you're here. how many of you -- how many of you in the studio audience are visiting from out of town, from other places here tonight? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the weather has been great here. we're all going to die because we have no water. but while we're dying, we're going to have a lot of picnics. a lot of places were on flood watch today which is crazy for us. yesterday, new jersey got 4 inches of rain. in newark there were fish in the street. some people came out to catch them to eat them. a lady got a delicious carp in a bucket. this guy is trying to get one with an umbrella. i believe that's a new tlc show.
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new york city officials had to issue a warning telling people not to eat fish they found in the streets. sounds to me like governor christie wants the seafood buffet all to himself. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: if you have to be reminded not to eat fish that washed up on the street in newark, i think we'll be okay without you. the tsa just released the findings of an investigation they did at a number of american airports. they had agents try to smuggle weapons and fake explosives through the tsa. they were able to get through undetected 95% of the time. the tsa failed 67 of those tests. the secretary of homeland
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security said the numbers in these reports never look good out of context. [ laughter ] they don't look good in context either. somehow they managed to successfully detect 100% of the water bottles i tried to get through. so the director of the tsa has been reassigned. the new guy has asked anyone who might be carrying a weapon, please hide it in your shoe where they can find it. i assume you've seen the "vanity fair" cover photo of caitlyn jenner. so caitlyn jenner of course used to be bruce jenner, but she's now caitlyn jenner. we've known bruce jenner since 1976, since the olympics. it's hard to burn a new name and gender into your brain. it's been especially hard to
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keep track of for the abc pro mow department. the same people also make the promos for "the bachelorette." >> i believe in love at first sight. >> we know caitlyn is funny. we know she wants us to have a good time. >> ♪ she's a lady ♪ talking about >> she has this super smart humor which i love. and it's a big turn-on to me. >> girl, you got to rock it, baby. >> caitlyn, will you please accept this rose? >> hmm. meanwhile, donald trump this morning posted some very enticing video to his instagram account. look at this. >> june 16th at trump tower, 11:00, major announcement. let's see what happens. >> jimmy: the announcement was there's going to be an announcement. we're going to see what happens. some people think trump might be announcing another run for president.
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i don't know if he technically ever ran for president. i think it would be even more fun if he's planning to announce this. wouldn't that be something? [ cheers and applause ] that's how you give hillary clinton a run for her money, right? there's a new "50 shades of grey" book on the way. the author is releasing a new version of the popular best seller that tells the story from the point of christian grey. it's called, i can't believe she hasn't called the cops on me yet. it's called "grey." it's due out june 18th, just in time for father's day. come up with new ways to use those ties we give him every year. they've sold more than 125
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million copies. of course there's the big hit movie. the new book is already number one on amazon even though it hasn't been printed yet. if the people that are excited about these books ever find out about internet porn, they're going to lose their minds. they really are. [ cheers and applause ] i assume you remember steven segal, he now spends a lot of his time na russia -- they don't know any better i guess over there. he's very friendly with vladimir putin, the leader of russia. he just appeared at a martial arts tournament. there's steven. got his suit on. you can see he's got a lot of enthusiasm. it is nothing short of -- [ cheers and applause ] he's fighting while he's
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sleepwalking at the same time. you get the idea that -- watch this. he's got two guys at once. that these guys know better than to beat up one of vladimir putin's friends. he's like the world's laziest ninja. [ cheers and applause ] wwe. come back. it's time now for something i happen to look forward to all year. we have a tradition on this show that dates back to, i think, the 1800s. every year we invite the kids who win the scripps national spelling bee to the show. we don't invite them to congratulate them. we invite them to be shallacked by me. i now have two little spirits to crush. there they are. co-champions. vanya shivashankar and gokul
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venkatachalam is his name. they won the competition by spelling each other's names correctly. winning the spelling bee is a big deal. and you get to hear your name mispronounced by every newscaster in america. >> vanya shivashankar and gokul venkatachalam. >> gokul venkatachalam. >> gokul venkatachalam and vanya -- geez, these are hard names. >> vanya shivashankar. >> won alongside gokul venkatachalam. won alongside gokul
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venkatachalam. chalam. >> jimmy: okay. [ cheers and applause ] it's not easy. it doesn't roll off the tongue. i, by the way, won the spelling bee in my school when i was in the 7th and 8th grade. i believe we have a photo. there i am -- [ cheers and applause ] didn't even get a trophy. i got a ribbon. also won best home perm that year. for our young viewers, i should explain -- spelling is something people used to do before the invention of text messaging. anyway, we let vanya and gokul out of the spelling beehive. here they are tonight. vanya shivashankar and gokul. nice to meet you. congratulations. by the way, just for the record, will you help me out with your names. >> shivashankar. >> venkatachalam. >> jimmy: you guys make it seem
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to easy. did you laugh when you see all the news people saying your names wrong? >> yeah. it must be hilarious to you, right? congratulations. >> jimmy: how did you end up tieing? >> there's a 25-word list. it comes down to three. in the first round, the third person missed so we went back and forth until there were three words left. and then they declare co-champions. >> jimmy: how do they run out of words? aren't there lots of words they could have -- i guess you guys don't care, right? you're beth win -- you're both winners now. we're going to have a little spelling bee. i think we should take a break. we have a very special guy who pronounces the words. what do you call the guy who pronounces the words? >> the pronouncer. >> jimmy: our pronouncer also happens to be our parking lot security guard. we're going to take a break. when we come back, it's our 12th annual show spelling bee.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. here we are. we are back. [ cheers and applause ] these are our spelling bee champions from kansas and missouri. they tied in the spelling bee. there will be no ties tonight. there will be only one person left standing. and that person will be yours truly. i'm not a kid. i'm an adult human being. i can drive a car if i want to. if i want to order a beer, i can do that. neither of you can do that. you understand that? very good. let's meet our judges. our head judge is my cousin sal. sal has many years of
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experience. don't worry. he will not let -- [ cheers and applause ] or that he works for me. prejudice is judgment in any way. sal will be joined tonight by our official pronouncer. our pronouncer/parking lot security guard, guillermo. here he is. [ cheers and applause ] i'm going to turn the competition now over to cousin sal. who goes first? >> how about everyone take a seat. because there are two challengers, they will compete together as one. but they will take turns. they will not help each other. >> jimmy: you hear that guys? are these new shoes you have? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, cool. first up from california -- from kansas, vanya shivashankar. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo, what is vanya's first
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word? [ indiscernible word ] >> can you repeat the word? >> facetious. >> can you use it in a sentence please? >> stop being face-ti-ous. >> face-gi-ous? >> face-gi-ous? >> face-gi-ous? >> jimmy: we may have set a new record for the most times saying face-ti-ous. >> f-a-c-e-t-i-o-u-s? >> wow! all right. whiz kids are up one.
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unfortunately they speak guillermo. >> our next guest, put your h-a-n-d-s together for jimmy kimmel. what is jimmy's word? >> a-loo. >> say that again. >> a-loo. >> maybe get closer to the mic. >> a-loo. >> jimmy: a-loo. could be hello for all i know. can you use it in a sentence? >> check out my cool "hay-loo." >> jimmy: i think i figured it out. j-e-l-l-o.
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>> no, that is not how you spell heirloom. >> heirloom is the word. >> jimmy: why didn't you say that? >> why didn't you say it? >> i said it -- a-loo. >> next up. from missouri, gokul venkatachalam. what is gokul's word? >> be-bay-clay? >> de-bay-clay. that's right. >> de-bay-clay. >> can you give me the language of origin? >> this word came from the dictionary. [ cheers and applause ] >> de-bay-clay. d-e-b-a-c-l-e.
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>> the score is now 2-0. jimmy has his work cut out for him. >> jimmy: why didn't you give me that one? >> ask sal. he's your cousin. okay. say-he-pay-da. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let me hear it again. >> say-ke-pay-dale. >> you want to try that one? >> no, thank you. >> okay. say-key-pay-dale. >> sake-babble? >> jimmy: that's what he said. you don't speak english? >> can you united states use it
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-- >> can you use it in a sentence? >> guillermo just say the word say-key-pay-dan. >> d-o-g. >> jimmy: there's no way i'm going to win this right? give me one more word. let's see if i can get one. by the way, your sister beat me like four years ago. or five years ago. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and your parents or sister are here in the audience. all the parents are here in the audience. all right give me one more, guillermo. then we'll do the trophy presentation. >> i'm going to give you an easy one, okay? in-de-he-nous. >> jimmy: all right. let's do the trophy presentation. >> announcer: that's it, the winner! congratulations. you are the winner of this big trophy.
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we're going to have to split it in half. and for participating we are giving each of you an xbox one so you never have to study again. you never have to read a book or do any home work again, thanks to the xbox one. congratulations to both of you. thank you to guillermo and cousin sal. >> jimmy: tonight on the show we have music from hiatus kaiyote. paul dano is here and we'll be right back with allison janney. [ cheers and applause ]
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on thursday night join us for the first of our nba game night specials in prime time. we'll be joined by the likes of adam sandler, amy poehler, steve harvey, channing tatum and on thursday night our guest will be 50 cent. that's before the game at 8:00 eastern, 7:00 central, and after the game for those watching on the west coast. >> jimmy: our first guest is a 6-time emmy award-winning actress who makes everything she's in better. she's like bacon. you know her from dozens of movies and tv shows. her latest, with melissa mccarthy, is called "spy." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome allison janney. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how's it going? >> good. >> jimmy: how is your spelling? are you a good speller? >> i'm an atrocious speller. i am always dumbing down by language when i'm composing an
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e-mail. i'll be like i think this person is incorrijible -- i-n-c-i think this person is very hard to deal with. i can't spell anything. >> jimmy: did you win any competitions when you were a kid? >> no. i lost a lot. i was very violent loser in my family. we had a ping-pong table that was our dining room table. and we played a lot of ping-pong. i mean i was odd job with the paddle. i throw things. you know, boards, flying -- i'm -- parcissi boards, i'm a terrible loser. >> jimmy: with your siblings you'd play? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did that continue into adulthood? >> i play phase 10 with a group of friends of mine. there's a skip card.
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i choose to skip jimmy. i take it very personally. i'm like why? why are you skipping me? why not jimmy? >> jimmy: when you said you're skipping jimmy, even though we're not playing card -- i had a moment, wait a minute, that's me. >> it's unbelievable. how personal i take it, it is ridiculous. >> jimmy: do you have brothers and sisters? >> brothers. >> jimmy: were they like that as well? >> no. but i think they were terrible winners, and that's why i'm a terrible loser. if you're not brought up with a gracious winner, it can be really hard to lose. >> jimmy: now you never lose. at the emmy's you won both categories. [ cheers and applause ] >> pretty exciting. >> jimmy: did you feel at all bad about it? >> there is a certain amount of guilt. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> i do feel bad. but then i feel good. i feel a whole lot of things. i was really glad that you read my name and gave it to me.
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>> jimmy: you know what, you didn't even win that emmy. i just gave it to you. i like you. that's the power. >> stick together. >> jimmy: if you did that, if you just went with somebody's name who happened to be a friend of yours, they would not go back and say, sorry, we had a jerk presenting. they would just go with it. all right, let's pretend this never happened. >> what would happen? i wonder -- that would be a terrible thing. >> jimmy: if you had a fire in your house, you have so many emmy's you couldn't even save them all. you'd have to make two trips. it's really a dangerous situation with these emmy's. >> now, you put it that way. >> jimmy: two for mom and masters & sex. comedy and drama. those shows are very different obviously. and i watch both of those shows. do you shoot -- you can't shoot them at the same time. >> no. unfortunately, it worked out, during my hiatus, i shot two
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episodes of masters of sex two weeks ago. i'm on my hiatus from moms. it sort of worked out that i do one when i'm not doing the other. it worked out nicely. >> jimmy: masters of sex there's a lot of sex because that is the show. at this point, are you accustomed to constantly making love in front of -- >> i had to -- this latest episode, i had to have a gentleman -- i got the script very late. on friday, i knew someone was going to be having to go down on me on monday. [ laughter ] i did not know who got that role. [ laughter ] >> this will be an interesting monday morning. flipping through head shots. let's go with him. let's go with him. wow. that's pretty crazy. when we come back, we're going to talk about another movie with melissa mccarthy. and it is very, very funny, it's called "spy."
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about an in-ground pool? yeah! i am! with a hot tub? uh-huh. and a waterfall! how did you know that? you've got that new instant game from the pennsylvania lottery. oh yeah! super $1,000 frenzy. with top prizes of $300,000. [announcer] want to see your dreams come to life? you could scratch your way to instant winning. the pennsylvania lottery. bring your dreams to life. you are top of your class at the academy. no surprise there. but you have a certain tame demeanor around the office that says you've never even held a gun.
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imagine my surprise when i saw footage from this drill back at the farm. >> is that me? i can't really -- >> stupid gun. >> somebody definitely sped this up. camera angles and stuff make -- >> ouch. >> the context that's in -- >> i must have watched this 15 times now. what the [ bleep ]. i almost put it up on youtube. >> jimmy: "spy" opens on friday. i got to tell you, this movie is very, very funny. it really came out -- you must be happy with it. >> i just saw it for the first time. i was in london and went to the premier there. it was historical. melissa mccarthy is a comic genius. >> jimmy: she's really great. your character uses a word in this movie that i don't think i've ever heard before.
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it's an all new curse word. which is so rare. >> are you talking about thunder [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: that's the one. >> which was a floor pitch. as they call it -- paul likes to -- when you're in the middle of doing a scene, paul will throw out alternate lines for your to say. >> the brilliant director paul feagan. that was one of them. i said it. and i said, what -- what even is that? i've never heard of that expression before. i think it's a british expression. >> jimmy: is it really? >> it is, a big, a big thunder -- they throw that word around a lot more. i guess it makes sense they would add thunder to it. at home, it was bleep so no one has any idea what was said. >> i'm playing the head of the cia, the m character in "spy." and she talks like a truck driver. which is the great twist of it. >> jimmy: how many movies have you and melissa done together now? >> melissa and i -- i have known
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her for a long time. i met her through tate taylor, who directed me in "the help" and many other movies. [ cheers and applause ] yes. melissa and tate doing the ground links together. i met her years ago. we've done a lot of tate's movies. no one has ever seen here. i've done every single movie he's ever done. got some stories about him. >> jimmy: tell us one of them. >> i don't know. if you want to go there. he's a great practical joker. >> jimmy: you already said thunder [ bleep ]. how much worse could it be? [ cheers and applause ] give me one of his practical jokes. >> okay. this is a really good one. >> i'll decide if he is a great practical joker. >> so i had just met him. i fell madly in love with him. huge crush on him. i was not living here. i was filming "american beauty." a little movie called "american
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beauty." and i decided -- i asked him to go to a screening with me. i thought i'll impress him. i'll invite him to a hollywood screening, high was staying at the montrose hotel in west hollywood. he came up to my room. i stayed there all the time when i would come and wasn't living here. the phone rang. it was the guy at the front desk. i said, hey, manny. he said, hi, i'm so sorry to have to say this, but we don't allow male prostitutes here. and i -- i said i'm sorry, i'm sorry, what, i'm sorry. he said, yes, the gentleman that's in your room is a male prostitute, and we have to ask you -- he has to leave the premises immediately. and i'm just -- you know, i have just met this gentleman, have a huge crush on him. i'm learning -- i sort of fall of down in my chair. i say, take this, it's for you. i don't know what they want. bought parentally they ned to talk to you. he gets on the phone. i hear him go, yes, i
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understand. yeah, it's not, i understand. it's not a problem. absolutely. immediately. thank you. i'm so sorry. he hangs up. i lack ook at him. he says, look, i first moved here. i had to do some things i'm not proud of. but, you know we all got to do what we got to do. and i'm like, first of all, i'm thinking, oh, my god, le montrose thinks i have to hire a male prostitute. embarrassed. they thought i have to pay for sex. and not that -- and you know, then i got all norma rae. they can't tell me who i can have in my room and who i can't. how dare they. i will not stand for this. i was, i said you stay right here. i'm going down to the front desk, i will deal with this. anybody that knows me that is a big dechal.
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i am not confrontational. i will do anything to not have a confrontation. i went through the wringer on this. i was pushing the elevator button. tate came out, hey, april fools. >> jimmy: that's a good one. that is a good practical joke. >> jimmy: allison janney. "spy" opens in theaters friday. we'll be back with paul dano. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ this is a steak? [sighs] let's make this right. stay low and spread out. [yawns] nicely done. [crunch] cheezy. that's it. sprinkle it on top. enough! ah, check please. [clank] ♪ for the boldest flavor ever to... hit your mouth beer cheese
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three hundred eleven people in this city. and only one me. ♪ i'll take those odds. ♪ be unstoppable. the all-new 2015 ford edge. and new york is my home. there's no place like it in the world, and no better place to lean about the people who shaped who we are today. hear about the lives of slaves in colonial new york and about the fight to abolish slavery. pick a stop on the underground railroad and visit the home and grave of one of new york's
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most controversial citizens. a journey in new york is a journey through history. plan you next trip at iloveny.com/summer. there's something for everyone. >> jimmy: you know our next guest from "little miss sunshine" and "there will be blood", which, by the way, would make a great double-feature. starting this week he can be seen sharing the role of beach boy brian wilson with john cusack in the new movie "love & mercy." ♪ >> there's like a gasp in between. [ barking ] >> cut.
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i think we got it. mix that in with the sound of the train going by. you think we could get a horse in here? >> "love and mercy" opens friday. please welcome paul dano. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very polite. how you doing? so for those who don't know the idea here, you and john play brian wilson of the beach boys. obviously you play the younger version. >> yeah, i play brian in the '60s sort of at the peak of his creativity. he's decided to stay in los angeles to work with the best musicians in los angeles, wrecking crew. like phil specter's guys. it's sort of the peak of his creativity with pet sounds and going into smile that he never finished and the onset of mental illness.
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that's my part. >> jimmy: do you get paid for the whole movie when you only play half the character? >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: see, that's no good at all. you play instruments? because brian wilson obviously -- >> yeah, i do. i actually think that music is the reason i got into acting. i think from singing in school, you start to then do musicals and plays. >> jimmy: did you do that sort of thing as a kid? >> i did. i actually started doing community theater, plays in school. and i started doing stuff on broadway in middle school. >> jimmy: how does that happen, you go from the school play to broadway? >> i don't know. it was never a super -- i never had a lightning bolt moment, saw something, i'm going to be an actor. it was just something i kind of gravitated towards. i go play basketball. i go to the theater. >> jimmy: it's so strange. there's always that one kid in the school who's good. you go, like, oh, that kid was really good.
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maybe there are two. but rarely do you then see them on broadway, especially when they're still kids. >> in retrospect it's a bizarre thing to have done. i went to school, go to sports practice and go do a play at night. then i would do the same thing the next day. >> jimmy: you have to beat yourself up after school probably. so you had -- how much weight did you have to gain for this role? >> i gained -- i gained at first like 35 pounds. i showed up to the costume fitting and my director was like, whoa, you still have to look good. >> jimmy: he thought you'd gained too much weight? >> that almost looks fake. that's just -- that's silly. wow. >> jimmy: is that the same shirt? >> my girlfriend took that picture. it was like a year later. the funny thing when i got chubby, i actually felt really sexy. >> jimmy: you see? >> i felt like really royal.
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>> jimmy: look how sexy that one is. right? [ cheers and applause ] mucho. >> that's all i got. >> that's how i want to feel. >> jimmy: was it fun to gain 30 pounds? >> i felt pretty bloated and sweaty most of the time. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> i had to eat like 4,500 calories a day. >> jimmy: oh, is that bad? >> i tried to do it as healthy as possible. at the end of the night, if i hadn't hit the math, i would get a pint of coconut ice cream and a bottle of red wine. >> that's quite a combination. >> just go to town. >> look a real "housewives" kind of a diet you're on. was it hard to get the weight off? >> i tore my acl playing basketball with the 30 extra pounds. i don't think my scrawny physique was prepared for that extra weight. so right when i finished
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filming, i got knee surgery. laid on the couch for a few weeks, fat and on painkillers. >> jimmy: yeah, like elvis. >> you just lay there and want somebody to feed you. it was kind of a great feeling. >> jimmy: you could have played both sides of brian wilson by yourself. >> that was art, life, whatever you call it. i continued the story for a few weeks on my couch with no cameras there just like ringing a bell for my girlfriend to bring me painkillers and food. >> jimmy: were you a real beach boys fan? or do you know cocomo from "cocktail." >> well, you know, i feel like after disney songs, when you're young, it's like the early beach boys and beatles. no matter what, you like the beach boys. >> jimmy: whether you know it or not. you like the beach boys. >> yeah. in high school, i started to play music. real musicians talked about pet sounds. once i did this, i became
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absolutely obsessed. pet sounds and smile are two of the greatest albums ever made. i actually miss it, when i see that clip you just showed, i miss that music. >> jimmy: come up to the room, we'll sing a little -- great to see you. >> jimmy: paul dano! "love and mercy" opens in theaters friday. we will be right back with music from hiatus kaiyote. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. next a desperate search for two convicted killers, they escaped a maximum security prison using power tools to cut through steel pipes. did no one hear riunlimited talk and text.ing
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when you trade-in your smartphone and buy a new one. stop by or visit us online. and save without settling. only on verizon. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i want to thank allison janney, paul dano, spelling bee champs gokul and vanya and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next, but first this is the album "choose your weapon" here with the song "by fire" hiatus kaiyote.
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, police narrow their search for two convicted killers on the loose. how the inmates executed an escape so elaborate, investigators suspect an inside job. digging, cutting, crawling their way to freedom putting a community on edge tonight. >> shark land. he can usually be found living it up in entourage. but offscreen his natural habitat is a lot closer to this. turns out the hollywood heartthrob is a conservationist, tonight he is taking us swimming with sharks off the costa rican island where natural paradise is under threat. >> if you want to look like beyonce, you have to eat like beon say. that part got a little easier. tonight the pop star's biggest announcement. and why she
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