Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 2, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am EDT

11:35 pm
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, andy samberg. from the seattle seahawks, russell wilson. "this week in unnecessary censorship." and music from butch walker. with cleto and the cletones. and now, if that's not enough, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:36 pm
>> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. are you ready for the holiday weekend? [ cheers and applause ] i had a feeling you would be. everyone except for the guy who has to dress up like uncle sam outside a car dealership is ready for the holiday weekend. on july 4th, 1776, the continental congress adopted the declaration of independence establishing our independence from england. of course the declaration didn't find out it was adopted until many years later. there's so much division in our country right now. so much arguing and fighting. but the fourth of july is not the time for that. the fourth of july is a time to come together, to eat american hamburgers, to drink machine beer, to be driven home drunk by a foreign uber driver. [ cheers and applause ] the average american household is expected to spend $71 on
11:37 pm
picnics and/or barbecues this the year. barbecues are funny. at a restaurant you never order more than one hamburger. you order one hamburger. they're being grilled in the backyard, for some reason, feels perfectly okay to have nine of them. with a hot dog on the side. if you're not an expert on the grill, a lot of people aren't, hot dogs are probably your best bet. hot dogs are quick and easy but you don't have to cook them the old-fashioned way. if you are planning to serve hot dogs on the fourth of july, i think you'll find this very useful. we scoured cable television to find the very best new hot dog cooking gadgets as seen on tv. >> did you know that thousands of children choke on hot dogs every year? what if there was a simple way to help reduce the risk of your kids choking? now there's the dog dicer to help make eating hot dogs safer for kids. just place your hot dog into the dog dicer and press for safe, bite-sized pieces.
11:38 pm
>> producing curl a dog. eating hot dogs will never be the same. curl a dog makes eating america's favorite food even more delicious. yum! when you put tiny hot dogs on a plate, grill, or other cooking device, because of their round shape they roll all over the place. and many end up on the ground. well, now there's new big hot dog. no matter how you slice it, it won't roll around on the grill and it's going to cook thoroughly and evenly every time. >> the hamdogger takes meat and transforms it into a hot dog shape. there ain't nothing like a ham dog, yum. >> what makes a hot dog more than a hot dog? the happy hot dog. it brings ordinary hot dogs to life, making lunchtime more fun. it's like a toy you can eat. >> make it a game to bless your dog the best and vote which one is the wiener. we'll include a bonus ketchup creditor and mustard monster. they attach to your existing
11:39 pm
bottles and make decorating even more fun. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that spurs so much innovation. it's like a toy you can eat! donald trump is on a roll. there has been a huge increase in donald trump-shaped pinatas this week. as i'm sure you're aware, president-elect trump has been under fire for insensitive comments he made about mexican immigrants. nbc and union have a anything responded by refusing to aramis america pageant. the pageant found a home on reelz which is reportedly a channel. ceo of reelz, stan hubbard, said he made the decision to air the pageant because it's a tv show, not a political event, the women participating shouldn't be punished for trump's remarks. also he got it very, very cheap. he did. this is funny, he says he's looking for a hispanic host of the show. good luck with that.
11:40 pm
even geraldo will be like, screw that! would you host the miss universe pageant? >> guillermo: no way, jimmy. >> jimmy: even guillermo will not, who's a parking lot security guard. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: donald trump, who referred to immigrants as murderers and rapists, is standing by his comments. last night he paid a visit to don lemon of cnn via phone. >> all you got to do is go to fusion and pick up the stories on rape and it's unbelievable when you look at what's going. so all i'm doing is telling the truth. >> i've read "the washington post," i've read the fusion, i red the huffington post. and that's about women being raped. it's not about criminals coming across the border or entering the country. >> somebody's doing the raping, don. you know. i mean, somebody's doing it. just think it's women being raped, who's doing the raping?
11:41 pm
>>. >> jimmy: "who's doing the repa raping" is the now show he's hosting on cbs. females from hillary clinton's time, as secretary of state. the subject line you see is apples. clinton asked one of her aides will we receive them this fall, how can i buy some for personal use? what other use for apples is there? i need to buy a basket of business apples immediately. her aide replies, i was just thinking about this last weekend, i'm going to order some tomorrow so they'll be in your office when you get back from unga, for some reason our new york supplier stopped sending them after the new year, i'll set up an account to make sure you get regular deliveries again. this has to be code for pot, right? [ laughter ] i hope hillary got
11:42 pm
premium-quality apples to bake with, know what i'm saying? wouldn't it be great if we found out hillary clinton was a stoner? it would explain the pantsuits. we have a good show for you tonight. andy samberg is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] very funny special on hbo called "seven days in hell." he also has the flu which means in about 15 minutes all of us will have the flu. also tonight from the seattle seahawks, quarterback russell wilson is here. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. russell wilson and his fully inflated balls will be here shortly. and we have music tonight from the great butch walker. by the way i feel like i have to mention this. matt damon is in beijing right now working on a movie called "the great wall." and guess who has a ponytail? guess who looks even more like a horse's ass than usual?
11:43 pm
you know -- i give matt a hard time every now and then. and he deserves it. i mean, he is a monster. but on a serious note, i do want to wish him well. i think this transition, whatever he's going through right now, takes a lot of courage. [ laughter ] and i'm proud of him. i really am. please, god, give us a caitlin day money. [ cheers and applause ] in other hollywood news, a movie based on the board game monopoly is in the works. you know the game you never finish? they're making a movie you won't finish either. it's details about the plot are scarce right now but we know it's about a thimble who dominates the real estate market and then goes to jail for no reason. but movie executives really need to stop having development meetings at children's birthday parties. because it's starting to get -- this is insane. i don't know how to feel about this. this is a video from a zoo in
11:44 pm
monterrey, mexico, where a young woman thought it was a good idea to climb into a crocodile exhibit. [ speaking spanish ] [ screaming ] >> jimmy: i'll be honest, i was rooting for the crocodile. otherwise you have -- at no point did it occur to the guy shooting video to put the camera down and help. let me tell you something. donald trump had built the wall
11:45 pm
around that crocodile enclosure? never would have happened. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's thursday night which means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> somehow [ bleep ] is a dirty word. if washington and adams and jefferson believed [ bleep ] was a dirty word we'd still be under the [ bleep ] of england. >> i [ bleep ] mexican people. >> ladies and gentlemen! it's robot [ bleep ]ing time! >> how much of that jersey is in your soccer attitude? >> i [ bleep ]ed several black guys. >> she likes playing with toy cars, playing with his [ bleep ], and going to the park. >> last year i traveled with the baby and i wanted to [ bleep ] myself on the airplane. >> thank you, i'm waiting to be [ bleep ]ed by the president,
11:46 pm
that's okay, he can [ bleep ] me any day. >> you're going to squeeze every last [ bleep ] -- >> >> i usually don't stick my [ bleep ] in my mouth in front of a baseball crowd. >> i'm going to take the test. >> good decision, you little [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a break. when we come back, an all-american special fourth of july edition of "lie witness news." it would be unpatriotic to miss it so don't. we'll be right back.
11:47 pm
somei'm here to help 'embway dothink differently.flavor. you know that sandwich you always get? i can make it even better. you ever try this toasted with monterrey cheddar? you know what, why not. ok how about we spice this up a little bit? that sounds amazing. let's rock this sandwich together. subway. eat fresh. like it used to?ould bounce back new neutrogena hydro boost water gel. with hyaluronic acid it plumps skin cells with intense hydration and locks it in. for supple, hydrated skin. hydro boost. from neutrogena. k.... now let's get ready for the ball. here it comes. here you go. good catch! perfect! alright, now for the best part. lets see your pour. ooo....let's get those in the bowl these are way to good to waste right?! ohhhh......yeah let's go for it, around the bowl annnddd... share what you love with who you love. kellogg's frosted flakes
11:48 pm
they'rrrr grreat! good catch, dad! and now try new kellogg's frosted flakes with energy clusters! so what can you tell me about your new offer? well, right now you can get... i'll take it. uh, well there's sold! how bout the... stop drilling, you struck oil. there's a sign behind me isn't there? i like it, but can the sign do this? that one can. i forgot about that one. get ipad mini 2 now for $199.99 when you buy any iphone on at&t next gives you nexium level protection for frequent heartburn all day and all night. try nexium 24hr, the #1 prescribed acid-blocking brand, and get all day, all night protection. nexium level protection.
11:49 pm
iand at red lobster'se i like misland escape,ropical. i can try new dishes like the island seafood feast, with crab, lobster, jumbo sweet and spicy and coconut shrimp. so hurry in, it'll be gone before you know it. let's make this right. nicely done. enough! uhh. check please.
11:50 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone, welcome back. andy samberg, russell wilson, mousse trick butch walk over the
11:51 pm
way. first for those planning fireworks this weekend, please remember be safe. take a safe and sane approach to fire. always make sure you ask a family member you don't like to set them off if you do them. real fireworks, the good ones, are illegal in about half of the united states. including here in los angeles. you can't really get anything. here in l.a., instead of fireworks, we pack an electrical socket with peanut butter and give gary busey a fork. independence day, it's a day to remember the history of our country, a day to remind americans why we became america. but another part of being american is not knowing anything. so today, we went out on the street with a truckload of misinformation, among other things we asked people if they heard the governor of california had rescheduled the fourth of july to february. sure enough, lots of people said they had for this special all-american edition of "lie witness news." [ cheers and applause ]
11:52 pm
>> what was your reaction to california governor brown's proposal that because of the wildfires they move independence day from the fourth of july into february? >> no, i don't agree with that. independence day's meant to be on that day and should be held on that day. >> is there anything you'd like to say to governor brown? >> please do not move it, keep it the day it was set to be and that history was made. >> have your friends been talking about that? >> yeah, yeah, definitely. >> what are they saying? >> they don't like the idea either. it's just not -- i don't know, it's a good time to do it, during summer, kids are out of school. there's just -- i think the best time would be during the summer to have fourth of july. >> it celebrates america signing the magna carta. >> and that was the day it happened. i believe that's the day it should be celebrated. >> where did you hear about this? >> probably heard about it a month ago. >> what was your reaction when you lettered that katy perry had trademarked the word "fireworks"
11:53 pm
and now people have to refer to them specifically as sky sparkles? >> i don't -- i don't really think that it's fair. i think because we've known them as fireworks thus far, and i think that we're going to keep that name, fireworks, because that's what we've always gone by, fireworks. now, sky sparkles, that's a phenomenal name but i don't think a lot of folks will resort to that name. >> will you be watching president obama's planned fourth of july confederate flag burning with the last surviving tuskegee airmen -- >> i have. >> excited for it? >> a little bit. kind of. you know. >> is that it? >> that's kind of like -- like the history, you know, of how that happened and what's going on with them. it's pretty good. >> do you think founding father james vanderbeek is rolling over in his grave at the thought they might move independence day? >> i would be.
11:54 pm
if i were the founding father -- >> james vanderbeek? >> if i were james vanderbeek, i would not only roll over, i would get up and definitely -- do whatever i could to fight that. >> he fought for america at the battle of dawson's creek. >> he did what? >> what do you think founding father nathan fillion meant when he said, give me freedom or give me a break? >> we have to have independence or else we become heavy with burdens and don't have liberty. >> did you learn that quote in so? >> more in college when it became morrell and we had our independence, to think what independence meant for us individually. >> let me sync up my watch, is it the right time? >> it will be eventually. >> all right, happy hour. do you think moving independence day is insulting to our forefathers, alexander p.
11:55 pm
keaton, jack carter, reginald bell johnson? >> i would suggest so. i think they signed it on that day because that was the time for it. that was the best time. >> i'm sure you heard donald trump said, white people should celebrate on the fourth of july, black people on the 5th, and mexicans on february 29th. is that fair that mexicans only get to celebrate once every four years? >> no. i think everyone should be free to celebrate whenever they want. i mean, it's america. if you want to celebrate the fourth of july, go for it. we're all here to have a good time, respect each other. >> you heard donald trump say that? >> yeah, i heard it on the radio. >> thanks a lot. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our national pastime. we have a good show tonight, music from butch walker, seahawks quarterback russell wilson is here, and we'll be right back with andy samberg so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:56 pm
>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by esurance. insurance for the modern world and proud auto insurance sponsor of major league baseball. into your darkest hour ♪ in, ♪ and i'll never desert you ♪ i'll stand by you yeah! yeah. so, that's our loyalty program. you're automatically enrolled. and the longer you stay, the more rewards you get. great. oh! ♪ i'll stand by you ♪ won't let nobody hurt you isn't there a simpler way to explain the loyalty program? yes. standing by you from day one. now, that's progressive. may the best hand win. ♪ [ both grunting ] savagery! [ grunts ] well done, grasshopper. [ grunts ] ♪ it looks just ♪ peoplelike a window ♪
11:57 pm
♪ people turn the tv on ♪ it looks just like a windooo-ooow ♪
11:58 pm
11:59 pm
and new york is my home. there's no place like it in the world, and no better place to lean about the people who shaped who we are today. hear about the lives of slaves in colonial new york and about the fight to abolish slavery.
12:00 am
pick a stop on the underground railroad and visit the home and grave of one of new york's most controversial citizens. a journey in new york is a journey through history. plan you next trip at iloveny.com/summer. there's something for everyone. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. on the show tonight, from the seattle seahawks, quarterback russell wilson is here. and then later, his album is called "afraid of ghosts." music from butch walker. you'll like him.
12:01 am
you know our first guest from seven seasons of "saturday night live" and two seasons of "brooklyn nine-nine." he's sick tonight but he's here anyway way. you can see him on "game of thrones." and the tennis documentary "seven days in hell." it premieres july 11th on hbo. please welcome andy samberg! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? welcome, welcome. i want to say thanks. i know you're very sick and you
12:02 am
came anyway. you have the flu. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i appreciate you coming, i really do. >> yeah, it's no problem. i didn't really see the need for the suit and everything. >> jimmy: well -- it's just, you know -- it's just a precaution i like to take. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we do it with all the guest hot have the flu. it's not me, it's abc. you know. >> because i talked to a couple of abc execs. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, they said you wanted it. >> jimmy: no. no. you know how they are. they don't like confrontation. >> oh. >> jimmy: you have the talent, they just don't want to get into it with you. again, thank you so much for wearing the suit. you're okay in there? are you taking anything for this flu? >> for the flu, yeah, i'm on all kinds of meds. >> you are. >> yeah, yeah. my head's a little soupy, this feels like a dream. yeah, they got me on like the tamiflu. >> jimmy: oh. >> advil cold and sinus, a bunch of herbs and vitamins. i'm on a thing called butt max. >> jimmy: what's that? >> like a supplement that brings
12:03 am
your butt to its maximum potential. >> jimmy: oh, all right. >> i ate a bunch of shrooms, that was a bad call. >> jimmy: you did? >> i don't know why i did that. >> jimmy: that's maybe where you got it. where did you get it? do you have any idea who infect the you with this terrible thing? >> i've been shooting a movie, i think it was somebody in the crew. >> jimmy: on your crew? wow. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: do you try to fire them? how will that work? >> we don't know who patient zero was. >> jimmy: you don't. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i hope you're able to celebrate the fourth of july. do you think -- hopefully you'll be better. did you have a plan in the first place? >> it's going to help when i leave here because i won't be in this. >> jimmy: oh. oh, yeah, right. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'll truly breathe the free air of the country, i think. >> jimmy: yeah. i think it will be nice to grill with those gloves on don't you think? >> yeah, probably wouldn't burn my hands. these are like for toxic waste,
12:04 am
i think. >> jimmy: what was the fourth of july like for you growing up? you grew up in berkeley, i know. >> i did grow up in berkeley, california, yeah. it was -- it was fun. you know, it's not like the most patriotic city on earth. like i'd never seen a confederate flag until i left berkeley. >> jimmy: is that right. >> yeah. and i have to say, once i did see it, i thought like -- it looks pretty cool. like the design of it is kind of nice. it's very symmetrical. >> jimmy: i see, just physically you're saying. >> yeah, from a design standpoint, i dig it. if you fold it in half, it meets perfectly in the middle, you know? it's like the back of a "mad" magazine. >> jimmy: yeah. all right. so see, that's a positive way of looking at it. by the way, i want to say congratulations. you're going to be hosting the emmys this year. >> i am, yes. [ cheers and applause ]
12:05 am
>> jimmy: have you started working on it yet? >> no. not yet. >> jimmy: oh. >> i've been sick. >> jimmy: yeah. when do you think you will start working on it? >> i'm thinking easily within the next couple of months. >> jimmy: right. so you're taking this pretty seriously. >> no, no, i really am. i was hugely, hugely flattered that i got asked to do it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's such a dream job. statement it's like kind of hard because you know somewhere you're on a short list of people that are doing comedy on the network it's airing on. >> jimmy: on fox, yeah. >> yeah. so i was like, i'm on fox. so probably between me and mo "the simpsons." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i still beat out mo, that's good. >> jimmy: mo would be good, yeah. i like that we've moved on from the plastic bubble and we're now trying to have a regular conversation. >> we're just doing this.
12:06 am
you know, the thing about airplane food, jimmy. it's terrible! >> jimmy: i really feel like we're in that john travolta movie right now. [ cheers and applause ] by the way, i don't know if we should call it a -- >> you can take them off! >> jimmy: your "seven days in hell," is this a movie? is it a mini movie? how do you classify it? >> we're calling it an hbo special comedy mockumentary doc sports event. >> jimmy: it is hilariously funny. >> thanks. >> jimmy: you know, i saw the previews and i thought, that looks like it's going to be funny. but i was not prepared for how unbelievably funny it is. >> thanks. >> jimmy: explain to the audience exactly kind of what the idea is. >> the gist of it is my buddy murray miller and i who went to
12:07 am
summer camp together, bass lake, i'm still in a bubble. we'd always liked tennis and wanted to write comedy and we were like, it would be funny to do a tennis comedy. and then a bunch of years ago there was that one match at wimbledon, the is hmer/mahut mah that lasted three days. we were laughing about it, this is comedic, it won't end, it would be funny if somebody wrote something where a match never ended. that should be us! we should write that! and then so we wrote it. and then he writes for the show "girls" on hbo. i was like, we should pitch to it hbo. he was like, great, we're doing it next week. we went in and pitched it and they were like, great, let's shoot it. >> jimmy: and your rival in the film, the guy who plays your rival, is kit harington who plays jon snow on "game of thrones." >> yes.
12:08 am
>> jimmy: which is a crazy choice. i didn't recognize him when i first saw him. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and he's really good in it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: whose idea was it to put him in this? >> well, i'm like sort of like agassi bad boy of tennis mixed with mcenroe mixed with poor guy american. kit's character is a british andy murray, weight of england on his shoulders, kind of a brick guy. so we need somebody relatively fit, within this age bracket. and a bunch of really cool dudes came up. but we saw kit and i was like, holy crap. could we get john snow to be in this? i'm a huge "thrones" head. everyone who knows me knows that. >> jimmy: i'm with you on that.
12:09 am
>> so we basically like called him up and sent him the script. and i went to have a meeting with him. all right, i'm going to pitch this thing to jon snow, see what he thinks. hey, i'm andy. hey, i'm kit, i love the script, i want to do it. >> jimmy: you're living under some kind of lucky star. >> there's been zero resistance on this project. >> jimmy: i think the audience is going to love it too. we'll show you a clip from "seven days in hell." andy samberg is here. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:10 am
after brushing, listerine® total care strengthens teeth, helps prevent cavities and restores tooth enamel. it's an easy way to give listerine® total care to the total family. listerine® total care. one bottle, six benefits. power to your mouth™. every day, you have a chance to make your story epic. each challenge becomes a chapter ...of a journey that's uniquely yours. unscripted. unabridged. uncensored. just you...living each verb. so make it legendary. the camry. toyota let's go places.
12:11 am
they think it smells fine,eaty but you smell this... eliminate all the odors you've gone noseblind to with febreze fabric refresher. mmmm...
12:12 am
so you and your guests can breathe happy. you get used to pet odors in your car. you think it smells fine, but your passengers smell this... eliminate odors you've gone noseblind to for up to 30 days with the febreze car vent clip... wow. smells good in here. so you and your passengers can breathe happy. verizon say neversettle. t-mobile agrees. never settle for verizon's overpriced gimmicks. try the un-carrier risk-free for 14 days you'll love it, or we'll pay for you to go back. don't wake him. do it. [crunch] huh [laughing] looking good frank.
12:13 am
looking good.
12:14 am
12:15 am
this is like nothing i've ever seen. >> spectacular! absolutely spectacular! >> oh my god! what? come on! >> the greatest point in tennis history. >> jimmy: that is andy samberg in "seven days in hell." july 11th it will premiere on hbo. it's a ridiculous movie. you know what really is hysterically fun fee in the movie, quite a few people, but john mac enroy kills the film. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's profane, he's very, very funny.
12:16 am
david copperfield is very funny in the movie also. >> copper field kills it. it's an ensemble for the ages. >> jimmy: it really is. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's the perfect length too. because if it was an hour and a half it would be -- >> might wear out its welcome. >> jimmy: exactly. >> it's a tight two and a half minutes. >> jimmy: where did you shoot that movie or whatever it is? >> special events sports mockumentary thing. >> jimmy: yes, yes. >> we shot it in palm desert. and they had a grass court at this resort. so we shot there and did a build around it. >> jimmy: i've been to that court, yeah, right. >> and it was rite great except for the way we were able to get the court was it was offseason, it was so hot. it was 122 degrees. >> jimmy: excellent. >> and we shot three consecutive days of tennis, basically. and it worked because we're supposed to have like been playing forever. and within five minutes of walking out there we were just dumping sweat and bright red.
12:17 am
>> jimmy: right. >> and kit actually had a funny moment where i was like, are you doing okay, man? are you holding up okay, staying hydrated? he's like, it's like i'm either shooting in the arctic in 20 below at the wall -- or i'm in the [ bleep ] desert! why can't i just shoot someplace normal! i said, your next movie's going to be a rom-com in hawaii, during a volcano. >> jimmy: you seem to have based the look of your character on andre agassi. did you contact him beforehand? >> no, but i'm a massive agassi fan. >> jimmy: i am too. >> he's the greatest. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you know him at all? >> never met him, i would love to. >> jimmy: i think he'd think it was funny. >> i hope so. >> jimmy: there are a couple of thins based on his real life. >> yeah, yeah. but a lot of tennis history stuff we've put in from all over, it's a big amalgam of stuff. >> jimmy: it is well worth seeing, "seven days in hell," it premieres july 11th on hbo.
12:18 am
andy samberg, everybody. thank you, andy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis from the inside out ...with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage and clear skin in many adults. doctors have been prescribing humira for nearly 10 years. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis serious,sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores.
12:19 am
don't start humira if you have an infection. visit humira.com and talk to your rheumatologist. humira. this is a body of proof! iand sometimes, an even longer night. helping with homework before doing your own. and you may think no one notices... but she does. she sees more than "mom," she sees determination. we do too. for nearly 40 years, we've designed an education for people just like you. learn more at phoenix.edu.
12:20 am
i tried and then...breakfast made the bed/ had a swim/ scared the pants off of tim/ bought some tech off a blog/ met a bongo playing dog/ crunchy belvita breakfast biscuits are made with delicious ingredients and carefully baked to release 4 hours of nutritious steady energy morning win at hotels.com by now, if you haven't heard about the latest sale ♪ music playing it's because you're willfully ignoring me. ♪ music playing book now and save during the fourth of july sale at hotels.com. ♪there's gonna be good times, ♪i know, there's gonna be ♪ mine hurt more. mine stopped hurting faster! neosporin plus pain relief
12:21 am
starts relieving pain faster and kills more types of infectious bacteria. neosporin plus pain relief kills the germs. fights the pain. available at walmart. ♪ ♪ order a summer priced $2.50 double combo at mcdonald's and get a mouthwatering double cheeseburger and small fries. grab it before it's gone. ♪ong: rachel platten "fight song" two million, four hundred thirty-four thousand, three hundred eleven people in this city. and only one me. ♪ i'll take those odds. ♪
12:22 am
be unstoppable. the all-new 2015 ford edge.
12:23 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there, we're back. still to come, music from butch walker. our next guest has won more games in his first three seasons than any quarterback in nfl history, and one of them was a super bowl on july 16th. he spreads his wings as host of the nickelodeon kids' choice sports awards. from the seattle seahawks please welcome russell wilson. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how's it going? >> great, man, how you doing? >> jimmy: good, andy hat the flu so we decided this was the west way to go. >> got to tell you a story. i'm backstage. before the show, obviously. and all of a sudden i run into this guy with a bubble. he sticks out his hand.
12:24 am
i shake his hand. next thing i know he's [ bleep ] in his pants. >> jimmy: what? >> then i realize, it's andy samberg. >> the craziest part about that is it wasn't me. i don't know who you're talking about. but that was disgusting. >> jimmy: must have been his stunt double. would you like to us deflate andy or inflate him? how do you like your co-guests? >> looks a little deflated. >> jimmy: which are you more tired of talking about, the super bowl or your contract? >> oh, man. both. >> jimmy: both? what about -- you're still in, kind of crazy when you realize all that you've accomplished in just these three years, you're still in your rookie contract. you're still -- i don't know if people are aware of this. quarterback in the nfl, making $37,000 a year. >> they believed you. >> jimmy: it's a joke, come on now, it's a joke. so you're ready for the next contract. >> that sounds exciting. >> jimmy: i would love to help you with this contract, i really would. do you have an agent?
12:25 am
>> i do have an agent, yeah. >> jimmy: well, that's a bummer. >> maybe you can be his consultant. >> jimmy: how much money do you want? we could probably hash this out right now. >> can we take a collection plate maybe? >> jimmy: no, you're getting it from the team, you've made enough money for them, they can pay you. you want to be the highest-paid player in football, correct? >> i want to be paid based off my play. it will work out in the end. >> jimmy: you want to stay in seattle? >> i love seattle, it's a yate place to play. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's the loudest stadium probably in the league. does it take awhile to get used to that? the fans being so loud? >> no, you know, i played the university of wisconsin, nc state, it was always loud there. you know, obviously playing century leench is one of a kind, a special place. it's definitely unique. >> jimmy: do you find that over the years, the legalization of marijuana has mellowed the crowd at all? >> just a hair, the past two years, i noticed after my rookie
12:26 am
year. >> jimmy: you're a very good baseball player. are you under contract with the texas rangers? >> i am but i'll probably as good a baseball player as you're a softball player, i hear. >> jimmy: i am a pretty good softball player. thank you for pointing that out. but is that something you really would seriously be interested in doing is playing both sports? >> yeah, i've always wanted to play both sports. it's a kid's dream -- >> hey! >> you're stuck in that bubble, buddy. >> jimmy: wouldn't it be impossible to play for the rangers? you'd have to play for the mariners? >> yeah, it would be tough. but there's always a way. you know. >> jimmy: if you got traded to the mariners organization, would you then take a whole -- >> i'd definitely look at it for sure. >> jimmy: you would? that would be something else. that's how to make the money. you star in two different sports. what position do you play? >> second base. >> jimmy: second base, wow. >> what'd you play? >> jimmy: baseball catcher. softball, you know, whatever. i do it all.
12:27 am
>> jimmy: yeah. they put you in right field. >> i never play the outfield. it's too hot out there, i get tired. i have to be near the cooler where the beer is, really. >> jimmy: what'd you play? >> right field! h hitter's position. >> jimmy: you've been dating cia ciara, right? >> yeah. >> no! >> jimmy: you haven't, andy. how long have you been dating? >> we've been seeing each other probably four, five months now. just trying to see how it goes. >> jimmy: easing into it. >> not easing anymore. >> jimmy: you're not easing? >> been to the white house, cool places. it's been fun, a special girl. >> jimmy: before you started dating -- have you seen this? >> girl, i'm feeling so good right now because the patriots just won, you know i'm tom brady all day. tom brady, it's going to be crazy. >> that was our first argument. i saw that.
12:28 am
wh a week ago. >> jimmy: did that even dawn on her that she made that video? >> you know, her answer, her response, was the fact that the following week she was cheering for the seattle seahawks as she was rooting for us the whole time. i don't know. >> jimmy: sounds like she's fickle is what it sounds like to me. andy, you all right? >> yeah, i'm good, yeah. >> jimmy: this nickelodeon kids' choice award. andy is hosting the emmy awards coming up. >> awesome. >> jimmy: is this something that -- why are you doing this? >> you know, i love kids. just being around them is special. it's going to be a unique situation. last year i had the honor to win an award and so this year, michael strahan was the host last year -- >> jimmy: what award did you win last year? >> the newcomer award, awesome award for me to win, kind of a new thing for them. it was an honor. this year -- i'm excited to slime, i'm the king of slime. i get to slime guys like derek
12:29 am
jeter. >> jimmy: your coach, pete carroll, is known for -- he used to be here at usc, he's known for playing pranks on his team. has he done anything yet? does he do it every year? is it in training camp he does this typically? >> he doesn't really do any more pranks anymore. he used to when he was at usc. but he used to pay for pranks. and his players. >> jimmy: well, yeah. >> see how fast you catch on. >> jimmy: he's going to love that comment. >> you think the call he played was a prank? >> jimmy: what's that? >> nothing. >> jimmy: we can't hear you,dy. >> just trying to track the joke. >> jimmy: because of the thing, yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's a problem. >> is it from the super bowl? i don't follow. >> jimmy: i'm not hearing anything you're saying. >> i don't want to interrupt. >> jimmy: it's okay. >> pop his bubble. >> jimmy: no, you don't pop it, germs will come out.
12:30 am
kids have a lot of germs, you've got to be careful at that kids' choice awards thing. kids are really filthy, a cesspool of bacteria. >> you're a germophobe. >> jimmy: i'm not a germophobe but i know, i have kids and they're dirty. >> how many kids do you have? >> jimmy: three children, all of them snotty, all of them dirty. >> all of them snotty. >> jimmy: are you up for any of these awards? >> i don't think so. i don't think i'm up for any awards. but i'm giving them out so that will be fun. >> jimmy: i hope you play in seattle the rest of your career. i'd love to see you play baseball. and i wish you a lot of luck on this hosting gig. it's the second annual kids' choice sports awards, thursday, july 16th, on nickelodeon. russell wilson, everybody! we'll be right back with butch walker! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:31 am
next what staple of summer could change your child from this to this? "nightline" has the surprising answer in a must-see hey, honey. day dreaming? [laughing] sorry. about being at the beach? uh... yeah. in the caribbean? that's odd... at our very own beach house? how do you know? you've got the new instant game from the pennsylvania lottery. oh, yeah! $1,000,000 big money, with top prizes of a million dollars. [male announcer] want to see your dreams come to life? you could scratch your way to instant winning. the pennsylvania lottery. bring your dreams to life.
12:32 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'd like to thank my guests. i want po apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next but first, this is his album "afraid of
12:33 am
ghosts." here with the song "bed on fire" with some help from the dove and the wolf, butch walker! ♪ ♪ you've got a lot of nerve making me want you so bad ♪ ♪ you never make this easier so hard to have and you know you never will know this ♪ ♪ but you are already my kill so baby fire at will gonna take you down over my knees ♪
12:34 am
♪ make that sound make you seize untie your hair let it fall ♪ ♪ like morning rain bed on fire love in flames a hundred times ♪ ♪ make you say my name lay in shock with me til the darkness ends then do it again ♪ ♪ ♪ walk right by me every day ♪ and you leave me for dead a puddle of my sweat you're standing in water of my sin ♪ ♪ and you know you never will know this but you are already my kill ♪ ♪ so baby fire at will gonna take you down
12:35 am
over my knees ♪ ♪ make that sound make you seize untie your hair let it fall ♪ ♪ like morning rain bed on fire love in flames a hundred times ♪ ♪ make you say my name lay in shock with me til the darkness ends and i'll do it again ♪ ♪ ♪
12:36 am
♪ gonna take you down over my knees make that sound make you seize ♪ ♪ untie your hair let it fall like morning rain bed on fire ♪ ♪ a love in flames a hundred times make you say my name lay in shock with me ♪ ♪ til the darkness ends and i'll do it again ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:37 am
this is "nightline." >> tonight, she went from being a happy kid to a shut-in, riddled with pain. >> it hurts! >> the quest to solve a medical mystery. a global hunt for the world's best barbecue leads us to these south american cowboys making mind-blowing meat unlike anything you've ever tasted before. as we prepare to grill this holiday weekend, tonight, we're learning their secrets. and the lion king kids. can you feel the excitement tonight? as many schools cut out art program, a new mission to bring musical theater back into the circle of life. but first the "nightline 5." if you're suffering from constipation or irregularity,

480 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on