year deal with an option for a fifth ar. pederson cannot be officially hired til after the is areut of e playoffs whh could happen as ely as tomorrow night. jeffery lurie wanted to get control of the team back to pederson will coach the a howie roseman will run t frontffice with tom nue, bring ather personnel guy but pederson wl get alg with people in the way chip kelly did not. >> before the deciding on chip's replacement eles were planning torg ben ao for second interview but wh giants got wind of it ty stopped it and hired him as their a. former giants coach tom cohlin was also in t the running for the gs job until the ve end. well, look who is settling into s w m former eagles coach chip lly getting tr of t 49s facility today. whereillis smoothie stand francisco, chipooks d in

san ancisco 49ers gear. >> yes, san francisco 49e >> do you tnk so.y. >> i think so. finally tonight, a joyful celebration of the li and legacy of martin ther king. >> ♪ >> this is t 13 nl unity choir mlk celebrations at congregation aom in cherry hill. lifting their vc in, singers prais and song. jimmy ml li ne on channel six followed byight line. "action news" ctinues at 5:30 a.m., and now for cecily tynan, ad joseph, jeff skversky, dus rodgers and the entire "actionews" am, i'm jim gardner. have a gd night, and a great >> ♪end.

did holly pick up jill yet? yeah. this is my baby. why do you always freak out whenever holly comes over? she's not that bad. am i allowed to say that about a woman i accidentally had a baby with? i wouldn't. she always wants to hang and connect with me over tequila shots. just say no. (chuckles) i can't say no to tequila. that's why travis exists. no way. jill, too. what an adorable coincidence. look on the bright side. she drives ycrazy, which i enjoy. (chuckles sarcastically) (horn honks) she's here. come here. if she pushes past us with her super bimbo strength, we say we can't hang tonight... (vehicle door closes, alarm chirps) because we all have some very important thing to go to. got it. hey, you guys. whoops. whoa. (chuckles) damn it. she backdoored us.

jules, i have so much i gotta talk to you about. (chuckles) (chuckles) i'm sorry. we can't hang because we all have a very important thing we have to go to, so... (refrigerator door opens and closes) that thing got canceled. i do have a different thing that only i have to go to. you know what? i'll drive you. have fun, mom. should we connect? (laughs) yeah. (sighs) (door closes) ohh. (clink) ♪ captioned by closed captioning services, inc. are you happy? i had to listen to holly yap for over an hour. she's way too young to have that many stories about losing teeth. (chuckles) sorry. that's the least convincing "sorry" ever. i'll work on it. so jules and i decided we want to get married on the beach. (gasps) you're gonna have to go to city hall and get a permit for that. ooh. that sounds like quite an imbroglio. she bought herself a little word-of-the-day calendar. ah. gotcha. why would you bust me on that? they would have just thought i had gotten all smart and stuff.

sorry. oh, no. that was better. right? i'm getting it. getting a permit is easy. i got one to put that new speed bump in the cul-de-sac. uhh! ohh! that speed bump is gonna protect our kids, especially stan. he's obsessed with that manhole in the middle of the street. i don't know what he thinks is down there, but he leaves food for it. well, it's the manhole monster. it eats little boys that don't listen. solid parenting, as always. (whispers) thanks. roger! (chuckles) roger. (chuckles) how are you? oh, same as always. actually, i was married a few months ago, so slightly worse. (laughs, lowered voice) oh, god. next. excuse me. i want to get a permit for a beach wedding. we don't allow weddings on the beach. but i see parties on the beach all the time. we allow parties. okay, then i want a permit for a party. will there be a priest at your party? (chuckles) depends on how crazy it gets.

no permit. if you have a problem, talk to the mayor. this podunk town has a mayor? who? me. (chuckles) stop it. (chuckles) (chuckles) no, really. it's me. i love this cake shop/real estate office. you give me day-old black-and-white cookies, and jules lets me take coffee from her side. (mouth full) mm. the coffee's free? oh, i'm sorry, sir. you'll have to buy a condo. ah. (chuckles) (chuckles) whoo, man, that camera cake looks real. i'll bet you wish you had that sucker hanging around your neck. (chuckles) why, because i'm asian? no! (scoffs) (mouth full) yeah. the long "no" means "stop talking." just another good old boy throwing racist stereotypes around. racist? am i that bad? no, sweetie. oh, my god. look at your black-and-white cookie. you've only eaten the white part. i'm a monster. good! leave! i don't even care! (scoffs) hey. (chuckles) eh. uh, everything okay?

stupid internet date. i thought having a baby was gonna be, like, a nonstop party... (chuckles) you know? wrong. turns out they're a total crotch-block. that guy is a tool. he should have put "hates babies" on his profile. oh, he did. i just ignored it. (giggles) hey, we were gonna go get some ice cream. do you want to come? can babies have ice cream? oh, yeah. that's, like, pretty much all she eats. (laughs) there's got to be something you can do. i mean, i have been dreaming of having a beach wedding since... well, yesterday. i know where this is going. you think it would be safe for us to have a quick but passionate fling. i'm flattered... (nasal voice) but it's not gonna happen. (chuckles) i'll try to keep it in my pants. that's a good girl. so who did you marry anyway? ah. well, hello, jules. hi. aw. what an adorable engagement ring. it's like my ring had a baby. (laughs)

wow. barb, you're married. mm. (chuckles) i'm so, um... um, something for you. (both laugh) oh, you would have loved our wedding. we had the most spectacular ceremony on the beach. it was more like a party. yeah. you know how i'm always talking about politics? not once. not ever. this town needs a new mayor, and not one that's in bed with "big business." that's what barb calls her private parts. you know who'd be great? john mayer. (gasps) "mayor mayer"-- it sounds really funny. plus he could totally shake things up... (deep voice) in my pants. i think it should be you, andy. me? you love getting involved. you petitioned against the new mall. you put in that new speed bump we all hate. plus you would look so great kissing a baby 'cause you kinda look like a baby, and everyone knows there's nothing cuter than a baby kissing a baby. truth. i actually think i would be a great mayor. i love helping people, and at parades, you get to wear a top hat like the monopoly guy. (gasps)

stan, you better not be taking that to the manhole monster. but he's my best friend. your kid is weird. (exhales deeply) why would you tell andy to run for mayor? 'cause i want my beach wedding. (chuckles) plus as a human being, he's.super-lative. are you trying to say "superlative"? how can i not remember words from two days ago? i mean, this thing doesn't work. do you realize what you've done? well, if you're gonna yell at me, you're gonna have to do it in the car. i gotta take back travis' phone. i stole it to change my caller i.d. photo. (chuckles) (chuckles sarcastically) see? new photo--cute smile. old photo... sneeze face. (chuckles) i can't be married to someone in public office. (voice breaking) jules, i'd have to interact with people. you know i hate the people! that's what you get for telling holly our thing was canceled. you know what i hope? that the karma gods get you. (whispers) karma gods. ooh. scary. no.

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that's max-strength and fights mucus. start the relief. ditch the misery. let's end this. holly, get out. mom. no, it's okay, trav. thanks for the ice cream... (giggles) and the tongue party. (door opens) okay, i want to start by saying i understand why you're upset-- not ready to talk. okay. (door closes) i love the tension in this room. i just want to bake it into a big, puffy thing and eat it all up. seriously? i'm helping. so is holly going to seduce every man in my life? okay, first of all, holly didn't seduce me. we just-- you know what? tell me everything. (sighs) did she pull your hair? ohh. um, is she a biter? ohh. what do her lips taste like? (exhales deeply) cinnamon. (whispers) oh. well, i'm done with cinnamon. there goes french toast. are you proud of yourself? holly really isn't that bad. (door opens) if you j-- sorry. i forgot something. (chuckles) you are too quiet. (chuckles) she's a great mom. (chuckles) i'll give you that.

hey. (mouth full) hey. i just wanted to make sure you're coming by krazy kakes today. (sighs) i just invented this new line of talking threat cakes. okay. say a chick steals your boyfriend. you send her a cake, but then when she opens up the lid, it yells... (gruff voice) "i'm coming for you, bitch!" (normal voice) that's cute, right? (chuckles) i don't really like it when my food talks to me. (sighs) that's why i don't eat monkeys. oh. plus after that racial incident, i can't show my face back there. so you accidentalsaid the wrong thing. one time, i asked this blind lady when her baby was due. turns out, she wasn't pregnant... (exhales deeply) and she wasn't even a lady, but he really was blind, which was good, because when he went to go throw his coffee at me, he totally missed, and he hit a real pregnant lady, and i was like, "dude, you're such a jerk! you just hit a real pregnant lady!" and then it turns out she wasn't pregnant either, so... there's a lot of fatties in this town. i know, right? well... (sighs) i am craving one of your cupcakes. (rubs palms together)

they are so addictive. you wanna know a company secret? mm-hmm. a slip a little nicotine into the frosting. andy, i know you're just around the corner building the confidence to come ask me if you can be the mayor. point "a"--it's something i'd be really good at. "b"--i want to turn "gulfhaven" into "guheaven." huh? possible campaign slogan? look, whatever you decide, i won't be mad, but will you please just do me a favor and really think about it... for me? okay, sweetie. for you. thanks a lot. now i have to pretend to think about this dumb mayor thing all day. i got my own crap to deal with. do you know that if travis and holly had a kid, my granddaughter and my stepdaughter would be sisters? that puts me in the hillbilly hall of fame, right next to my cousin chestnut, who was murdered by his own pigs. the pigs might have killed him, but he wasn't murdered.

"murder" implies forethought. they murdered him. there might be a trial. where? okay. this seems like a good stopping point. why are you two even upset, hmm? i mean, ellie, i assume you're just going to wait a little while, then crush your husband's spirits, like usual. correct. and, jules, even though i'd love to know why there's no more cinnamon in the house... because i don't want my oatmeal to taste like a whore's mouth. pfft! fair enough. you made it very clear to travis... (door closes) that you don't want him seeing holly, so it's over. hey, mom. i think i'm falling for holly. (gasps) (sighs) how delish. no, no, no. ellie, you go. grayson, stay. ohh. oh, man. (grunts) (laurie sighs) (bobby, lowered voice) oh, man. (lowered voice) no, it's okay. i called him. (normal voice) hi, mr. koh. your cake is ready, and...bobby here actually paid for it. i did? you dbecause you felt so bad for offending him.

yep. what she says. i'm sorry. i accept your apology. (chuckles) (deep voice) forgiven! (normal voice) see? bobby, you faced it, and it's over. it's not. i mean, i didn't say anything, but my mind kept thinking bad things, like... (lowered voice) that dude over there-- i'm wondering if he can dunk. (sighs) you're being too hard on yourself. (clatters) bobby? can you dunk? i can. oh, yeah! (chuckles) that's so awesome! andy... (sighs) look, i've thought about this mayor thing all day, and i-i'm sorry. it's just not something i feel comfortable with. are you okay? yeah, i said i wouldn't be mad. thanks, boo. (engine revving) are you speeding up? ooh. i forgot that speed bump was there. really?

(sighs) there's just something so innocent about holly. i just want to... (inhales deeply and grunts) protect her. plus jill could really use a father. she has a father. i meant a good one. (pants) it's like my life is flashing before my eyes. i should have drank more wine. luckily my place has room for a crib. bed's tiny, but, uh, holly likes to sleep right on top of you, staring into your eyes. don't worry, mom. (clenches teeth) she says she's on the pill... (whispers) yeah! and i'm totally messing with you. why? because you treat holly like crap. we all do. she didn't seduce me. i just saw a hot, vulnerable girl, and i took advantage of her. i thought you were better than that. no. (chuckling) players gotta play. that was a habit. i'm gonna take that high five back. (imitates videotape rewinding) i know you don't want to deal with holly, but you can't box her out of your life. hmm. (grunts) that's for bringing this girl into our life. it's okay. i'm still gonna wear it. besides, trav has a point. you really want to go there?

(imitating announcer) uh-oh. he's always backed down when it comes to defending his baby mama, but now he just might take a stand. high five reinstated. yeah. you won't even give holly a chance, and that is not like you. if you need us--team holly-- we'll be at my place. i don't care. leave. (exhales deeply) you're both being totally... magnanimous! not a bad thing. it means we're awesome. (door closes) stupid calendar! whenyou want to feel goodine, from head to toe. including your nails. introducing the latest innovation from amopé. the amopé electronic nail care system. the fast way to file, buff, and shine. for effortless, shiny, wow nails! so you can step out with that amopé confidence and shine on. (kiss) the new electronic nail care system from amopé.

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you know when you're kissing holly and she pushes her gum into your mouth and then sucks it back out into hers? why is that so hot? probably her big boobs. probably. in case you two are wondering, thisis my personal nightmare. here you go, little guy. (whispers) great. as mayor, i dub this pothole filled. thank you. thank you. of course you may have my autograph, ms. latifah. (chuckles) here. "his honor--" queen latifah comes to visit? no, she's my trusted advisor. she helps me keep it real. i'm really sorry about all of this mayor stuff. it's stupid. i'll clean this up. (squeaks and thuds) well, that's much worse. i'll get a towel.

(mouths word) i've put together a panel of our minority friends to get you through this. today we're gonna fix racism, hopefully, before our burgers come. i can't stay long. i have an engineering paper due tomorrow. way to fight the stereotype there, dude. (keys clacking, computer beeps) and everyone say hi to wade, my twitter boyfriend, coming to us live from... (whispers) afghanistan. hey, girl. (chuckles) why aren't you naked? oh. (lowered voice) um... so we kind of have skype sex all the time. i've actually sat on that screen. it's really strong. (normal voice) sorry. instead, i need you to help convince a total stranger that he's not prejudiced. yeah, that's fantastic. why is andy on the minority council? i'm latino. (laughs) oh, i'm sorry. no. it's just always funny when you say it. well, you shouldn't be laughing at other people's heritage. (chuckling) i mean, listen to me. it's like the pot calling the kettle bla-- african-american. seriously?

i get that you two feel guilty. you should. you both think with your... danglies. yep. guilty. oh. feel free to just let yourself in and drink my wine. (clinks) it's my second bottle. how are you still speaking clearly? it's only white. look, holly just wants to be your friend. (chuckles) she's the mother of your child. you should bond with her. you know what i learned from my friendship with ellie? there's no such thing as too mean. never let your friends know for sure if you like them? always hold a grudge? really? sorry. i wanted to do one, too. sometimes it's okay to occasionally put yourself first. i mean, i-it's like that thing with andy being mayor. she knows it would make her miserable, so she said no. i mean, sometimes it's okay to be selfish, right, ellie? it's not. seriously? now's the time you decide to be human? come on. i want to show you something. look, you have this crazy blind spot for all our faults, like, uh, you know, grayson's vanity

and dad's childishness. your greasy hair. i said "blind spot." means you don't see it. i just wish you could stop seeing holly for her faults and see her for what she really is-- a young mom... (both speaking indistinctly) who feels like she's in way over her head. i mean, that was you once. that was really hard. yeah, well, now you know. and you are really smug. (chuckles) i'm not blind to that either. don't hate. and every time i open my mouth, i'm afraid i'm just gonna offend someone. you know, sometimes i think it would just be easier if we all separated into our own groups, you know, like, blacks with blacks, whites with whites. they tried that in south africa. yeah, and thank god bono fixed it. all right. let's just say we're picking teams to play basketball. now, wade, would you be offended if i picked you first, even though all i know about you is that you're black? hell, yeah, man. that's messed up. so i shouldn't pick you. of course you should, man. i can dunk.

i knew it! and as a latino... (laurie, sig, and bobby laugh) really? now we're all laughing? why is it okay to laugh at him? i mean, this is all such-- such a moving target, man. i can't handle it. look, buddy, the fact that you're agonizing so much over this means you're a better man than most. oh, thanks, man. oh, my god. my race panel worked. if there is one thing that we've learned from michelle pfeiffer in "dangerous minds" or sandy bullock in "the blind side" or hilary swank in that movie no one ever saw, it's that all you need to fix minority problems is a really pretty white woman. so you want to be mayor? (thud) go for it. this is so awesome! you know why you're great? yes, but tell me anyway. you try to hide it,

but you really do care about what makes me happy. okay. (paper rustles) here's what i want as first lady. "i get to park wherever i want. "our town should be lessdog-friendly. "no car alarms. no rollerbladers. "no street performers. no more wooden lawn birds that do this." (mouths words) "no carnivals. "no 5ks. no 10ks. no k's. no hair salons with names that are puns." the hairport. we get it. it's near the airport. "no public coughing. no circumcisions. "no pierced ears on babies. "no adults who skateboard. "no tank tops. no tube tops. no short shorts, and no stupid people." then my pen ran out. uh, yeah, and don't forget, you want me to let jules have her wedding on the beach. oh, i don't care about that. jules? i let grayson take tampa for ice cream, and i said i'd meet him here after, so i'll just wait out here till they get back. it's okay, holly. come in.

(thuds) push. whoa. thanks. weird door. not really. so how about some tequila and girl talk? (chuckles) no. ♪ you know, if you're gonna be a part of this family, you're gonna have to learn to love wine. (chuckles) family? (pours wine) (giggles) oh, my god. i totally feel like hugging you right now. all right. bring it. mm. you hug just like your son. all right. don't ruin it. (giggles) (chuckles) ♪ mmm. this tastes like spicy, red vodka. oh, you are gonna love this stuff. (chuckles) oh, my god. (chuckles)

it's easy for me cause look at as it is her.him... aw... so we use k-y ultragel. it enhances my body's natural moisture so i can get into the swing of it a bit quicker.

and when i know she's feeling like that, it makes me feel like we're both... when she enjoys it, we enjoy it even more. and i enjoy it. feel the difference with k-y ultragel. now let's pop a little wine and talk about the supposed pig trial, hmm? i got 9,000 questions. do they use handcuffs? they use rope. jury of their peers? maybe. lawyers? humans. bailiffs? horses. how do they get the pig on the witness stand? pig ramp. do they understand what people are saying? they have interpreters. is the jury ever fed ham? not if they're kosher. what's the maximum sentence? bacon. is there a pig traffic court? well, i've heard of it. i've never seen it. how do they get the pig to stop squealing? gavel. what if a pig calls a cop a "pig"? (chuckles) that's funny. that's funny. people laugh. do the pigs wear prison jumpsuits? no, bow ties, and it's really adorable. (chuckles)

(laughs) (cell phone rings) you're reached detective luke callaghan. please leave a message after the beep. (beep) uh, hi, luke. it's me. um, i guess we should probably talk. it's been a couple of days, and not that i'm a "rules" girl, but, uh, you know, it's starting to feel kinda weird, so... uh, i know things are complicated for you, and you're probably just trying to figure stuff out, and just call me, all right? we really need to decide what we're gonna do next. (beep) (clatter) okay, yeah. thank you for calling. all right, bye. (beep) hey. hey. when were you at the edinboro hotel?

why? you left your credit card there. well, maybe you can pick it up for me when you go for your day at the spa. seriously? surprise. what? (water running) that is so nice of you. i... i feel really bad, actually. i should be getting you something... (faucet turns off) since it's your first day back on the job. (horn honks) let's get married. uh, we are. yeah, i don't wanna wait. let's go to city hall next week, throw a big party afterwards. what do you think? well, i think the girl in me says i don't have a dress. okay, let's get one. come on. are you okay? yeah, i'm great. i just don't wanna wait anymore. okay. yeah. what the hell? sure. let's do it. mm. mm. mm-hmm. ooh, let's get married. (laughs) ♪

next week? let me try that again. next week?! i knew he was gearing up for something. he went to the cabin on friday night, and when he got back, just--it was obvious something was on his mind. and then flowers and dinners, spa packages. so where are you doing it? have you told anyone? no. no, no, no, no. we're keeping this very small, quiet. okay, my dad's outta town, so it's just gonna be the four of us--me, you, luke, and jerry. you're gonna be my maid of honor, right? i wouldn't miss it. okay, good. hey. what are you guys doing? oh, just cleaning the place a bit. make it look a little less, you know, murder-y. you all good, gail? can i get you anything? gail's had paralysis ever since she found out her mom was coming in tonight. superintendent elaine peck. super nice lady. you don't know her. yeah, we had sunday dinner, like, a month ago. she was really great. she kept calling you "craig." (traci laughs) "craig" is a great name. well, at least we now know how to make the demon flee-- speak the name of thy life giver.

"open city, open house!" (laughter) save it. brass upstairs wants us to interface with the community. that's what we do. there'll be a lot of press, community leaders, political types. so i want you all to be here, cleaned up, 1900 hours. diaz. (clears throat) now apparently, superintendent elaine peck will be joining us tonight as well. i'm hoping that, um, you know, she'll-- she'll like what she sees. this is the first one of these for me as staff sergeant, so... i want you guys to look sharp, you know, be sharp. now keep your noses clean today, okay? make me look good out there. (indistinct conversations) why are you so happy? oh, don't tell me. you're jazzed about the open house. my 6-year-old gets to see where i work, and he's excited. so he gets excited, i get excited. it's an all-around exciting day. i guess he thinks, like everybody else, we play with plastic guns and yell "stick 'em up"? i just think it's cool--