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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 5, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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good night. tonight -- eric stonestreet, from "uncle buck," nia long -- episode three of "the baby bachelorette" -- and music from alunageorge. with cleto and the cletones. and now, stay focused -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. hello, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. very nice. i appreciate it.
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i want to thank you for joining us for "the bachelorette" postgame show. for those who don't watch "the bachelorette," don't worry, we'll get in and out of this faster than one of those relationships lasts. jojo went all the way to argentina to narrow the field down to six. wells and derek got the ax tonight. i don't know who they are either. this is kind of funny. jojo said good-bye, he got in the car. play attention. we get a rare glimpse into the behind the scenes of how the show works. >> jimmy: that right there is the sound guy in the back seat. [ cheers and applause ] that's got to be the worst gig in hollywood, right? your job is load derek into car, when he starts to cry make sure we hear it, then sit with him all the way home uncomfortably. what a show.
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speaking of amazing shows did you watch the season finale of "game of thrones" last night? so many big major things happened. a few of them i even understood. it's a whole research for me the next day to figure out what i just watched. in a shocking cliffhanger the starks announced their decision to leave the european union. they're calling it brexit. i think -- [ cheers and applause ] the lesson we learned on "game of thrones" is don't ever follow a creepy child into the basement. i learned quite a few things from "game of thrones" in year. i learned holding the door for someone can get you killed. i learned if a guy is shooting arrows at you, you should zig-zag a little when you run. i learned it's important to feed your dogs on a regular basis. don't take off your necklace until you're definitely ready for bed. i learned that women will
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eventually run everything. so we might as well get used to it. [ cheers and applause ] i have a saying about this. i don't know if you watch. donald trump would have hated that episode last night. now we wait until may of 2026 for a new episode. that should be illegal. when i am vice president i will ensure that americans never have to wait more than 90 days for a show to come back. [ cheers and applause ] we'll build on that platform. except shows with the word "housewives" in the title. those can go on break as long as they like. "game of thrones" may be over. for those still looking for blood and carnage on television, "shark week" has begun. "shark week" is on discovery channel i think. started 1987, back when sharks were wearing members-only jackets and carried cell phones the size of bricks. the saddest thing about "shark week" is sharks don't even know
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it's happening. they can't afford cable. you know, we have a whole week of programming dedicated to sharks. most people don't realize sharks actually have a whole week of shows dedicated to us too. >> all new, an entire week dedicated to soft, tender, slow-moving, completely helpless, mouth-watering meat. "meat week" july 3rd through 9th only on the people channel. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know if you've seen this, kanye west premiered a new music video over the weekend. it's exceptionally kanye-esque. this video or visual, as he calls it, is for the song "famous." it features an array of nude celebrities together in bed. if you haven't seen it -- here it is. i'll go through the celebrities. there's a sleeping bill cosby, caitlyn jenner, amber rose, ray jay, kim kardashian, kanye himself, taylor swift is next to kanye, that's chris brown's back, and rihanna is next to him.
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then we have donald trump and win tour from the magazine, you can't see her, and finally our own guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] wow, congratulations, guillermo. that's the most star-studded ad for a sleep number mattress i've ever seen. and how did bill cosby put all those people to sleep? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, donald trump is very much awake and continuing his blistering attacks on hillary clinton. i guess he's going to keep doing this for another four and a half -- you'd think he would pace himself but no. last week he launched the website lying crooked hillary.com. this weekend he released "the top 50 facts about hillary clinton" which sounds like something you'd see on buzz feed but it's a list, a follow-up to what trump called his stakes of the election address last week. when he says stakes he doesn't mean this.
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he means the stakes you put in a vampire's heart. those kind of stakes. hillary clinton is leading in all the major polls right now. nbc and "wall street journal" have her up by 5 points. abc and "the washington post" have her leading by 12. trump tweeted the abc poll. he said he didn't like the results, he said it's dirty, dishonest, a disgrace. think about it, if he loses this election, he'll never concede, right? you know how the losing candidate is supposed to pick up the phone and call the winner? i don't see that happening. so donald trump was in scotland over the weekend to take part in a ribbon-cutting ceremony at his golf resort. watch and pay special attention to what he does at the end of this clip. >> one, two, three. thank you, everybody. thank you. there, there's a pair of scissors, go play with those.
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run around. [ laughter ] make sure nobody tries to cut my hair with them. [ cheers and applause ] it was interesting, in the middle of the campaign he chose to go to scotland to promote one of his business ventures. which sounds absolutely crazy. but i guess he felt it was necessary. you know, over the course of this campaign trump hotels have experienced a huge decline in bookings. a lot of people don't want to stay at these hotels because of him. and in an effort to get the properties going again, trump hotels, many of these hotels are not actually owned by donald trump, they just rent his name, have launched a new image campaign that they're hoping will help to turn things around. ♪ ♪ we're trump hotels we're the place to stay ♪ ♪ we're sorry that donald turned out this way ♪ ♪ it's not our fault we just licensed his name ♪ ♪ trump hotels we're not too lame ♪
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at trump hotels we're really, really sorry about everything. that's why this june is apology month. 30% off accommodations for mexicans, muslims, veterans, women, the disabled, and anyone else he called a loser, dummy, clown, failure, pig, lightweight, stick, dope, or pocahontas. at trump holtz, we want your business -- not your birth certificate. so come on in and make your vacation great again. ♪ trump hotels we're the place to be ♪ ♪ we hope you accept our apology ♪ ♪ it's not our fault the guy's insane ♪ ♪ trump hotels we're not to blame ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back, when we have a new episode of our preschool reality dating series called "the baby bachelorette" so stick around. it is a good one. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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without the wasteful wadding. it has comfort cushions you can see that are softer... ...and more absorbent, and you can use up to 4 times less. enjoy the go with charmin. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. eric stonestreet, nia long, music from alunageorge is on the way. as you may know, in addition to my duties as host i produce a wildly successful reality dating show. so far this has been our most tantrum-tastic season yet. and with that said, it is time for episode 3 of "the baby bachelorette." >> previously on "the baby bachelorette." drama. >> oh, no, dylan! >> chemistry. >> you're crazy! >> the most shocking cliffhanger in baby bachelorette history. >> bradley, can i talk to you? >> is everything okay? >> and now the drama continues.
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>> it's my ex. she came back into my life. >> what are you saying? >> i want to go be with her. >> i was falling for you, how can you do this to me? >> i'm sorry. >> not as sorry as i am for giving you my heart. >> i'm so humiliated. >> playas gonna play. >> as the sun sets on the relationship, surf's up as bianca goes on two destination dates. >> hi! >> i'm so excited, it's going to be amazing! >> who wants to help me dig a hole? >> me, i do. >> i love digging holes. >> it's going to be a tough decision. >> bianca, can i put more sunscreen on your nose so you won't burn? >> sure.
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>> wow, manny's good. i really have to bring it. bianca, can i play you a song? >> sure. ♪ the wheels in the bus go round and round round and round the wheels in the bus go round and round ♪ ♪ all day long >> that was beautiful! >> i know. >> enough with the music. bianca, let's take a walk. i want to get to know you. >> sounds good. >> what do you want to be when you grow up? >> i want to be a veterinarian, a ballerina, and a president.
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what do you want to be? >> i want to be a dino police. >> amazing. >> i'll be right back! will you accept this unicorn? >> yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i think i'm in love. that's my future wife. i know. >> i'm really excited for my date today with alex and dean. hi, boys. ready to have some fun? >> yeah! >> yeah! >> sorry, bro, you're too short to ride.
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looks like it's just me and my lady. >> that's not fair. >> life's not fair. >> dean is a joke. >> sorry, dean, you're just too little. let's go on the balloon ride! see you, dean. ♪ ♪ i once had true love but i was too blind to know ♪ >> i was very sad. >> go, go! you're winning! ♪ never would i let go ♪ never would i let go >> it's hard being little. >> will you accept this unicorn? >> totally.
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>> with alex, there's a connection. i think dean might be a little too young to get married. >> coming up on "the baby bachelorette." bianca meets the families on two dramatic hometown dates. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i cannot wait to see how this amazing journey ends. tonight on the show music from alunageorge, from "uncle buck" nia long is here. be right back with eric stonestreet!
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>> jimmy: tonight from the new show "uncle buck" tuesday nights on abc, nia long is with us. a music duo from london, the new album is "i remember," alunageorge from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night margot robbie will be here, jim jefferies will join us, and we'll have music from flo rida and later this week zac efron and adam devine, christoph waltz, walton goggins, danielle brooks plus music from melanie martinez and maxwell. please join us for all of that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is television's favorite party clown. he has parlayed that into a role in a big animated film he plays duke the rescue dog in "the secret life of pets," it opens in theaters next friday. please welcome eric stonestreet. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how are you? >> very good. i was doing my sultry. stretching my cavs. >> jimmy: you're on break? >> do break, doing a breaky-poo from "modern family." >> jimmy: how many months do you get off from the show? >> four and a half months. we shoot august to march. then we go back august 1st. >> jimmy: do you miss everybody? is there a big good-bye at the end of a run? >> i miss some people more than others. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. >> we miss everything. what's great is we still text. our group texts honestly would make a great little cash register book. >> jimmy: would they be appropriate? >> no! sofia always takes it to another
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realm. >> jimmy: i see. >> yeah, we're looking forward to going back. we miss seeing each other. everybody does their own thing. we stay in touch. >> jimmy: you've been promoting this film, "the secret life in pets," you play a dog. >> i do. >> jimmy: i played a dog in a number of things myself. i've only played a dog. >> really? >> jimmy: yes, i played a dog three times. people see me and think, dog. >> they used to see me and see, serial killer. then they saw me and said, good gay guy. i was happy to move on from serial killer. >> jimmy: gay guy, now good boy. >> sit, boy. you do press, junkets, you get asked the same question over and over and over. when i say over and over and over, i mean 60 people lined up outside your hotel room coming in and asking you the same question. >> jimmy: which is the question they keep asking most? >> "so, how did you get into the mind of a dog?" and then, you know, because i'm working for the studio and like have to answer that question, i have to come up with things like seriously to say. >> jimmy: what do you say? >> well --
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>> jimmy: what can you say? >> exactly. because i don't want to dismiss it as not an acting job because i have to be truthful and honest to the character. but i can't just say, well, you know -- dogs don't talk. so i don't really think of it as a dog. you can't just like dismiss it immediately. so i say, yeah, you know, i just think of it as a fun character, i have to be just like i play on "modern family," try to come up with creative ways. >> you should grab hold of them and start humping their leg. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> woof! >> jimmy: i know you are going to be doing live performances over the summer. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is something that popped up on my computer screen. >> look how serious i am. >> jimmy: an intimate evening with eric stonestreet. and this photograph. how intimate is this evening? >> i promise to have sex with one person after every show.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's good. >> no, i mean -- the idea of it is supposed to be -- they're supposed to think i'm funny from the get-go, they're supposed to think is an intimate evening is, you know, a double -- >> jimmy: a joke. >> a joke. >> jimmy: but when paired with this photograph, which looks like your tinder profile picture. and the background. it seems like, yeah, it seems like something serious is going to happen. >> well. >> jimmy: somebody's getting pregnant. >> like i said, for one person after the show, something serious is going to happen. no, it's kind of like what you do between commercial breaks where you engage somebody. >> jimmy: chat with the audience. >> like inviting somebody from a tv show over to your house and anything goes. the show is really dictated by the audience. i'm doing it in philly, doing it in new jersey, new york. and it's fun for me to get out and do it. i'm not a standup per se. but the show idea is sort of based on what i do every day. i'm sure you do too, answer people's questions. you get coffee, hey, where's lily? you're like, uh, that's a character i play on tv.
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and they think they're the first person to ever say that. >> jimmy: for somebody it's going to be a great night. >> yeah, it's fun. >> jimmy: eric, how do you get into the mind of a dog? >> always the question i get is, what is sofia like? i'm like, never looked at her face, only her boobs. couldn't tell you, have no idea. never really engaged on a personal level. >> jimmy: doing these live shows, this would be a wonderful way to pick up women, yes? >> hi, mom. you know, it's fun. like i said -- >> jimmy: are you doing one in your hometown? >> no, i've done one in manhattan, kansas, before. and i have people in the audience tonight. i've done one there, that's fun. kansas city, kansas folk really enjoy me. >> jimmy: as a kid when you were growing up and summertime, did you relax, have a job? what did you do in the summertime? >> pigs and cows. i had that job to do. then i would bale hay in the sum
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over a hay baling group where we'd put up hay. nobody really understands what that means. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> you cut the grass, bale it into bales. put on it a trailer, put it in the barn. in the wintertime that's what you feed the cows. they're 80 pounds a bale. at first i was little, my job was kicking the bales and getting them in a row so the truck could drive down. as i got bigger it was to put them on the trailer. that's where all this comes from. >> jimmy: i see, i see. did you do that job through college? >> no, in college i got a job at applebee's. >> jimmy: really? >> i was a server, an apple buddy. >> jimmy: is that what they call them? >> any other apple buddies out here? no? >> jimmy: did they call them apple buddies? >> yes. like wow, duh? what's up, apple buddy mike? hey, apple buddy eric. >> jimmy: you were -- did you do funny stuff with the customers? >> what would happen, the customers loved me but the other servers hated me because i would do magic tricks at the table
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because i wanted to be a clown when i was a kid. i would just look over and see other servers shaking their head. frickin' stonestreet. coming in here, getting his 40% tips. >> jimmy: you would get good tips? >> oh yeah. doing balloon animals for the kids. >> jimmy: that's smart. you're like the top apple buddy all-time. >> totally, absolutely. manhattan, kansas. one time my manager gathered everybody in the kitchen and said, i'd like to read a letter we received. it was a letter praising me. >> jimmy: oh! >> oh, it turned the whole staff against me. it was terrible. they're all just like -- when i would be like, can you help me on table 3? they're like, yeah, we'll be sure to help you out. >> jimmy: that's not a very bright manager. that manager was not your apple buddy, for sure. >> no. >> jimmy: speaking of apples i've got a fruit bowl here. you've asked for a fruit bowl, why? >> well, i was going to show you and the audience a basic trick that i would do. >> jimmy: as an apple buddy? >> yeah, as an apple buddy.
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here, if i could get you to come like this. you just have to focus. here. >> jimmy: this is not going to -- >> no, no. >> jimmy: okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> this is a super easy trick to do. put your hand up. count of three grab this orange. tangerine. so on the count of three. one, two, three -- then grab it. >> jimmy: okay. and? it's gone. [ cheers and applause ] >> one more time. one, two, three -- >> jimmy: wow. that's pretty good. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: give me one more time. >> okay, but let me do it for dicky. >> jimmy: does it work for an apple? dicky, yeah, you get in here. dicky loves being part of this kind of thing. >> stand right here. he loves it. apple buddy. >> jimmy: can i throw these at dicky during this? >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: do not throw oranges at dicky during this.
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>> one, two, three. >> dicky: unbelievable. >> jimmy: it tastes like you too. >> so anyway, that's the david blaine stuff i would do. >> jimmy: eric stonestreet is here. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. woo hoo! over you to you tom! things have gone totally around the bend. c'mmon boys! rarin' to go!
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because of new doritos mix, there is boldness everywhere. [robotic voice: doritos!] i quit! has the world gone completely bold? new doritos mix. four snacks in one. since the beginning of time, there never seemedre is. to be enough of it. people try to beat time. ahhhhh! but time always wins. our greatest fear is running out of time. there's a bomb in the salsa can! we gotta get out of here! my phone is still charging! so if time is the most valuable thing there is, why would you waste more than you have to charging your phone? ahhhhhhhh! the galaxy s7 edge, with fast wireless charging, and our longest lasting battery.
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we're just like you guys. we hate humans. hate them. >> that's right! >> don't get me started on people. am i right? >> that's why we burned our collars. >> we burned them to the ground! >> killed our owners! >> yeah -- wait a minute, that's too far, maybe. >> no, they dig it. we whacked them! >> yeah, that's right. bang-bang with our paws! >> if i had a dime for every owner i killed -- i'd have a dime! i just killed the one. >> jimmy: eric stonestreet got into the mind of a dog. "the secret lives of pets." >> i got into the mind of a murdering dog that could talk. >> jimmy: that's the thing about dogs. we love them, they seem to love us. you know if you were lying dead on the floor they would eat you without hesitation. >> that's how my pigs were growing up. i always had -- was told to be careful in the pig pen, if i fell and knocked myself out, pigs would eat me quickly. >> jimmy: do you feel that made you more comfortable with eating them? >> for sure, for sure. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is.
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: somebody's got to be on top. >> good, pig. >> jimmy: pig is very, very good. most of the time when you do these animated films you don't see your castmates, you just go into a recording studio. is that how this -- >> yeah, that's how it works. i'm in a studio in los angeles, kevin and louis are wherever they're doing it. and that scene you just saw, we weren't together. which is really fun as an actor. it's a challenge. but you just kind of play both parts in your head. >> jimmy: louis ck, kevin hart. you meet with kevin -- i don't know, were you guys at a promotional event? >> doing press in new york, yep. >> jimmy: you made a video together. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and is there anything you need to say before we set this up? why did you make the video? >> this is the second in the series. i said, kevin, you want to be on my instagram? >> jimmy: kevin said, of course. i'd love to be on your instagram. this is the result. >> you want a picture, eric? oh, video? >> you can't just do that. you can't -- you have to say picture or video before you start.
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>> it's a video. it's a video game. >> really? why -- but the way -- you're not even -- there's no introduction. >> oh, hey, everybody. here i am with kevin hart at the premiere of "the secret life of pets." >> it's not even -- hey, y'all, what's going on? we're here at "the secret life of pets" premiere. see? >> hey, y'all -- >> no, no, don't you -- don't do that. don't try to talk like i talk. i'm showing you how to be energetic. >> okay. >> hey, what's going on y'all, we here at "the secret life of pets" premiere with eric stonestreet -- >> yo, what's up, mother -- >> okay, okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's a movie for children. as far as "the bachelorette," i know you're a fan, have you been following? do you have a favorite? >> oh, man. i love the show. i think it's such a -- we share the same admiration for it. not just like trash tv. i think it's actually important television. >> jimmy: do you think it's important? >> i really kind of do. >> jimmy: why? >> to remind us when we're a dying society that there were signals.
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> there were clear signs that we were doomed. and that we deserve to lose our existence. honestly. >> jimmy: it's a harbinger. >> yeah, it is. but having said that, i love the personalities that they do. they do such a great job with casting. getting all those people on there. i haven't been watching the show. i only saw the second episode where i saw chad. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, he was bad. he's gone. >> oh, good. >> jimmy: kicked off the show. >> that guy was something else. i'd like to see him and i together. i know he'd within a few seconds call me fat. you know? that's how those guys do things. if i said something he'd be like, well, yeah? well, um, you're fat! like, good job, way to state the obvious, good one! >> jimmy: let's not jump to conclusions, maybe you'd hit it off famously. >> we'd hit something for sure. >> jimmy: would you ever be interested in being the bachelor? [ cheers and applause ]
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>> you know -- i had tweeted maybe when "modern family's" over i could be the 48-year-old washed-up television star bachelor version. >> jimmy: why not? >> they probably wouldn't want to put the girls on "the bachelor" that i would want. >> jimmy: oh. >> i'd be 48 and they'd probably want to put 46-year-old gals on there. nothing against 46-year-old gals. >> jimmy: wow, you're getting in deeper and deeper. >> yeah. i better go. >> jimmy: that was eric stonestreet. [ cheers and applause ] >> i didn't mean anything negative. >> jimmy: he was being self-deprecating. the movie is "the secret life of pets." >> here's the trick again! >> jimmy: it opens july 8th. be right back with nia long! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ man, i'm glad aflac pays cash. aflac! isn't major medical enough? no! who's gonna' help cover the holes in their plans? aflac! like rising co-pays and deductibles...
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(male off-screen announcer) what's it feel like to win the mustang instant game, with top prizes of a hundred grand or a new ford mustang? (woman) oh my goodness. woo! (male off-screen announcer) with instant games from the pennsylvania lottery, the instant you play could be the instant you win. keep on scratchin'. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. still to come, music from alunageorge. our next guest has been referenced in more rap lyrics than hennessy. you know her from "friday," "big momma's house," and "boyz n the hood." her latest, with mike epps is called "uncle buck" watch it at
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9:00 on tuesday nights on abc. please welcome nia long. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hi. >> jimmy: so good to have you here. is "uncle buck" the first sitcom you've been in? >> no, "the fresh prince of bel air." i was lisa. [ cheers and applause ] you remember lisa? >> jimmy: you were a kid. >> i was a kid, yeah. i wasn't a kid but i was a tv kid. >> jimmy: how old were you when you started? >> i was 19. less go with 15. we don't need to go through the whole span of my years. >> jimmy: now you're playing a tv mom with kids of your own. >> i am, and it's so much fun. i have a lot to draw from. i have two boys, 4 and 15. >> jimmy: do the kids like you drawing from them? >> not so much. >> jimmy: they don't, yeah, yeah. >> my son's like, can you stop mentioning me in your interviews?
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i like that you're a teenager and you give me a lot of material. >> jimmy: that's right. he doesn't like it. >> he's getting ready to get his license. >> jimmy: his driver's license, oh, that you can hold over his head. >> he's going to be my personal assistant. >> jimmy: is he really? >> his pay will be an intern's rate. so life experience. >> jimmy: will you pay him hourly? >> free, free. >> jimmy: nothing, intern, i see. >> nada. i'm going old school with it. >> jimmy: my parents had me on a similar internship. >> yeah? >> jimmy: when i was a kid, yes. where i didn't get paid anything. >> were you the assistant? >> jimmy: no, not really. i didn't do anything either in fairness. >> i want my kids to earn it. >> jimmy: you do. >> to earn it. >> jimmy: but they're earning nothing. >> right, well -- [ cheers and applause ] >> i set myself up for that one. >> jimmy: sending a weird message. if you work hard, you will get nothing. >> that's right. but you will get breakfast, lunch and dinner. >> jimmy: well, that's important. >> see, that's important.
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and a private school education. that is a good tradeoff, come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i would also point out that legally you are required to provide them with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: or else the police come to the house. do the kids know that you've been mentioned so many times in so many rap songs? are they aware of that? do they think it's cool? >> jay cole is the most recent one. >> jimmy: let me read the lyrics from jay cole. "no role models." i have them written down. my only regret was too young for nia long, now all i'm left with is ho's from reality shows. that's pretty good. >> i think so. at least i'm not a ho from a reality show. >> jimmy: that's right. >> that could go way wrong. >> jimmy: have you contacted jay about this? and thanked him for mentioning you? >> i have not. can i do it now? jay cole, thank you. i'm such a huge fan. >> jimmy: see, maybe there's not too great an age difference. [ applause ] what was the first one that you heard?
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>> oh, so -- tribe called quest. >> jimmy: a tribe called quest, that's a good one. >> rest in peace. >> jimmy: did you hear on the radio? >> i was in the club with my brother heavy d, god rest his soul. i'm listening, jamming. i'm like, hey, come on do it with me, hey. >> jimmy: i can't do that. >> come on, you can. >> jimmy: i'm not able. >> come on baby, you can do it. >> jimmy: i'm unable to do it. >> i can tell. >> jimmy: it doesn't work. >> it's not in you? >> jimmy: i've tried it. i can't even do that head thing. >> that's good. hey, it's just like the neck thing. >> jimmy: it looks like i'm having some kind of nerve damage or something. >> no. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so i hear trinny born black, like nia long's grandmother. and i'm like, is there another nia long? looking around in the club thinking it can't be me. it's the beginning of my career. boys in the hood just came out. that moment really gave me my hood credibility. >> jimmy: i would think so. >> right? >> jimmy: your grandma got some too. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: that was her shout-out. >> right. now you're acting like chris
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rock. he always tries to take away my shine. >> jimmy: no, i'm not trying to -- [ laughter ] >> whenever my name -- no, no -- i didn't mean it like that. >> jimmy: he does? why does he do that? why is chris rock trying to take away your shine? >> he thinks my name raps with everything. so he sort of is like, don't get excited, nia long rhymes with everything, that's why you're in all these rap songs. >> jimmy: i see. >> i'm like, rock rhymes with a lot and i haven't heard your name. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: rock is actually a form of music. >> right! >> jimmy: i think his name has been mentioned in some rap songs. >> which ones? >> jimmy: i don't remember. >> i don't think that's true. i think you guys are friends and you're setting me up. >> jimmy: this conspiracy we've organized against you. >> a conspiracy. >> jimmy: we have kanye west, couldn't keep it at home, thought i needed a nia long. jay-z featuring kanye. you a light-skinned nia, dark-skinned aaliyah, a black jennifer lopez, a ghetto senorita. >> okay, wow. >> jimmy: are you becky with the good hair? >> hell no.
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[ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: going to rule that out. lil wayne -- >> i'm down with it. >> jimmy: like nia long in a cherry thong with the lights on? that's a good one. that is a good one. >> so when i heard that i got really nervous. because i'm thinking, has someone been in my panty drawer? right? do i have a cherry thong? did i have sex with a guy and wore a cherry thong? i was so confused. then i thought, maybe i need a cherry thong. so i actually went and got myself a cherry thong. >> jimmy: where? >> i went to trashy lingerie. you know that spot. >> jimmy: yeah, in hollywood. >> they better give me some free cherry thongs now, that was a huge shout-out. >> jimmy: you went shopping. >> i went shopping and got myself a cherry thong. that's how i got my husband. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: was he the salesman at the place? >> no. he was the guy that was in my panty drawer. >> jimmy: i see, i see. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: sending a dangerous message for anyone who might want to rummage through your bedroom. >> right, well. you know. he's big and tall. >> jimmy: on the show on "uncle buck," it's very funny. >> i am having so much fun. i feel lucky to be with a group i respect. we have fun. people are kind. this character is amazing because she's a mom, she's strict, she's all the wonderful thins that mothers are but she's also a little bit goofy and sort of zany and not quite in control as she'd like to be. so it's a fun character to play. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. please come back again. >> i will. >> jimmy: nia long, "uncle buck," tuesday nights at 9:00 on abc. be right back with alunageorge! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung.
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when you're the parent of a disabled child, you realize that the world can be a harsh place. but you also realize it can be a really loving, wonderful place. when i saw donald trump mock somebody who was disabled, i was appalled. you gotta see this guy... ahh, i don't know what i said, ahh, i don't remember! that reporter suffers from a chronic condition that impairs movement of his arms. it told me everything i need to know
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about his heart and what he believes deep down. priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. choose effortless glide from side to side.e choose knee-loving, underarm-caring, bikini line-bearing. choose venus swirl. with five contour blades and a flexi-ball, it pivots with every dip and divot. choose to smooth. venus swirl. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank eric stonestreet, nia long and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. this is their album called "i remember." here with the song "i'm in control," alunageorge!
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♪ ♪ i'm in control i like crashing waves but i want to see them at first light ♪ ♪ after a long night and see the sky take shape but i want to see the stars burn ♪ ♪ after i've had my turn and ooh ooh you're working so hard you played your card ♪ ♪ so what's the payoff and ooh ooh big talk is cheap you gotta go deeper ♪ ♪ than deep to get me off if you're picking up my call come and tell your boss ♪ ♪ you know that i'm in control
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i'm in control don't you know ♪ ♪ i want it all put your hands against the wall i'm in control ♪ ♪ i'm in control i'm in control ♪ ♪ i'm in control ♪ ♪ we got rainbow colors want to live your life in two shades ♪ ♪ you need an upgrade ♪ i know you're undercover i'll smoke you out ♪ ♪ you know you been made don't want to be played ♪ ♪ oh oh working so hard ♪ you played your card so what's the payoff ♪
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♪ and oh oh you got to go deeper than deep to get me oh ♪ ♪ if you're picking up my call go tell your boss you know ♪ ♪ i'm in control i'm in control ♪ ♪ don't you know i want it all put your hands against the wall ♪ ♪ i'm in control i'm in control ♪ ♪ all night give me your love ♪ ♪ i'm in control ♪ ♪
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♪ i'm in control if you're picking up my call come and tell your boss ♪ ♪ you know that i'm in control i'm in control don't you know ♪ ♪ i want it all put your hands against the wall i'm in control ♪
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in the "nightline." >> tonight the desperate march north along the migrant trail. central americans fleeing their homelands by the tens of thousands to escape brutal gang violence. the road ahead is dangerous. many facing death for the hope of a new life. hillary clinton hits the campaign trail with president obama. >> fired up! >> the investigation into her e-mails may have ended with no charges but will it cost her votes? >> it's a disgrace! and they're like another member of the family, but what would you do if your dog acted like this? anxiety, separation issues, and depression. more dogs are being diagnosed with very human ailments and more owners are putting their pets on pills. first here tonight the

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