>> it's time for the 2016 pennsylvania conference for women, key advice that women and men need to hear. let's get the inside story. ♪ good morning. i'm tamala edwards. welcome to a special edition of "inside story." let's introduce you to the ladies who are here at the table. first up, a couple of our insiders. nonprofit exec donna gentile o'donnell. good morning. >> good morning, tam. >> nia meeks, who is a communications executive. >> good morning. >> and finishing out this side of the table, we've got michelle wilkes, who's a partner at pricewaterhousecooper. >> good morning. >> thank you for coming. and on this side of the table, we've got liz murphy, who's a senior vice president at peco. >> good morning. >> and stephanie penner, who's a partner at mercer. we're so excited for this conference coming on october 6. we're gonna start with you, michelle, to tell us. you know, when you look at the booklet, the number of companies that are supporting this, this is not a little endeavor. you get there, that conference

hall is packed with big names on the wall. why do companies think of this as an important place to put their money? >> i think that companies really do need to sponsor this. we have a lot about women helping women, but this is going to be an issue that corporations need to put their hallmark on. that diversity inclusion is ly underlines our investment and commitment to diversity and inclusion. >> and what's interesting to me is every year when you look at the list of speakers, there's some blockbuster names there. you know, stephanie, tell me a little bit about who some of the big names are going to be. >> yeah. so, anita hill is going to be there this year. and the wide array of speakers really spans entertainment, politics, media, business. so you really can pick and choose what speakers, as well as what topics, so it's a vast array of topics spanning personal and professional development.

e inspired to better balance in. >> is there a particular speaker or breakout session that you're looking forward to? >> well, actually, the president of mercer's global talent business is speaking on the importance of engaging men. ilya bonic is his name, so yes, i will be. [ laughs ] >> something you can use across the board. liz, the day is so full. you can run from thing to thing. i enjoy participating in going to various things, but you end up having two questions. "how do i retain this information the best way?" and everybody will tell you to network. well, what does that really mean, so that you walk out of that conference differently than you came in? >> yeah. so, thanks, tam. great question. you know, peco's been sponsoring the conference for 13 years. we have really found it as a development opportunity for a number of women in the organization. and every single year they come back and say, "sign me up for next year 'cause i really want

to attend," and so what we've tried to do to help them navigate each year is say get online, look at who the speakers are, check out the workshops, find out who you want to see, what really speaks to you. make sure you spend some time to go into the convention hall and see all of the exhibitors that are there, find out when the authors are signing books. kind of plan ahead. and also take the time to know your other colleagues that are gonna go so that you can find time to network with them, and they're networking with other folks, as well, which really broadens who you're meeting that day. so planning ahead is a little bit, but once you walk in that convention hall, you see thousands of women. the energy starts, and you will just go from workshop to workshop, and a lot will hit you that day, as well. >> i think on one of these panels, somebody had a great piece of advice that i always kept with me. your goal is to walk out with one person's number to call the next week to plan for coffee. >> yeah. >> like, if you keep it small but you do that, it can have dividends.

>> they have a really nice mentoring opportunity that's part of the day, where you can go and meet various people from the region, so they are folks that you can stay in touch with that live here in the southeastern pennsylvania, southern new jersey that you really can be connected with as mentor/mentee throughout the year. >> let's talk about some of the issues that keynote speakers will be getting into. one that i'm fascinated by -- abby wambach. we've all heard her name for the u.s. women's soccer team. that team came out and sued the organization saying that the women's soccer team -- literally if you look cumulatively, they make 1/4 of what the men's soccer team is making. and as i dug into the numbers, i actually found that it's hardest of all for white-collar women. a lot of the kind of women who go to a conference like this, motherhood is an issue, specialties. a female doctor is more likely to be a pediatrics doctor than an orthopedic surgeon. guess which one gets paid more? listen to this. doctors, men tend to make about $210,000. women make $135,000. advisers, men tend to get paid

$100,000, women $62,000. so some examples of the disparity. but they said it came down mainly to this -- the more you work, the more you get paid. but when you're packing the lunches and taking care of grandma, it's hard to say, "sure, i will work 80, 90 hours." what's a woman to do? >> i think that one of the key things to think about are the things that you talk about tradeoffs, and does that tradeoff make sense for you. if you want to go and put in the 80, 90 hours and making sure that you're getting paid on an equity basis, that's really critical. but i think there's other things you can make tradeoffs. so flex time, daycare assistance, ways in which you can bring in other dimensions to your pay package, which may not always just be dollars, as well. >> is there something else to think about if you know in your 20s, 30s "i want to end up in the c-suite, and this is what it takes," what's the best bit of advice on how you should plan for that to make sure that your marriage holds together and your kids know your name? [ laughter ] >> a tall order that you have

there. you know, it's interesting that you mention the c-suite, and that is an aspiration for some. but increasingly entrepreneurship is another way that people are breaking through barriers and they're raising their own pay scales because they're looking and say, "okay, here's an economy where i can take my skill set, apply it here, here, and here," and increasingly that's where more young people especially are going because those opportunities to break into traditional fields are not as vast as they used to be. so planning it out definitely means you have to not only have mentors, but you have to have sponsors. you have to have a partner if you're talking about getting married and someone that shares your vision and values, because it's great -- you know, you have to grow together. if you're not growing together, if there's no clarity as far as where you eventually want to end up, that's when you have friction, and that's when things get a little sketchy. >> but who knows who they're going to be at 20? like, is that something you tell younger women, or women at any age? how do you raise with somebody? everybody wants to be in the hazy romantic stage. how do you say, "listen, i need to know that you can bathe a kid and get up in the middle of the night and take everybody to school."

>> i think -- it's really important to prioritize and recognize that you have to prioritize, even in those earlier stages. so, i mean, like, if i look back over the course of my professional life, i've had amazingly terrific men mentors, similarly with some women, but actually i've had more men mentors than i've had women mentors. and i think it depends in part on what it is that you're trying to do and where you're trying to go. so modeling -- if you identify a woman that's doing something that you think you want to be doing, model it. figure out how to, you know, kind of -- people who bike, they talk about drafting. you know, you get behind a biker that's moving fast and you draft. do the same thing. >> you know, indra nooyi, the head of pepsico, is somebody i would love to model, to raise two fabulous daughters, head up a company. she gave a talk recently as part of a conference, and, you know, we talk so much about work-life balance, and everybody thinks there's some magical dimension. she said, "stop talking about it." and rather than hating the lack of work-life balance, accept it,

and she told a story of learning she was gonna be the head of pepsico. and she comes home and her mother doesn't want to talk about her day. [ laughter ] and she's like, "you can ask my husband, you can ask people." and she gets mad at her mother, and the mother says, "leave the crown in the garage. in here, you are a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law, a daughter. that's what you do here." and i thought it was interesting that the mother said there's no work-life balance. there is here and there. is it better just to accept none of it is gonna go the way you want it to? it just is what it is? >> yes. [ laughs ] >> i think part of it, too, is being comfortable that you've built the foundation at work and the foundation at home. and quite honestly, they will both survive without you if you've built the foundation. and, you know, i've found that throughout my career you get into work, you're working overtime, it's 9:00 at night, you're thinking that it's falling apart at home. you get home and everybody's really okay. [ laughter ] and the reverse happens with work. you get caught in a personal situation where you've got to be home with your family and you're

worried about the meeting or the issue or whatever, and you get to work and you find out it's resolved or it can wait. so you've built that foundation that i think is critical and you just need to be comfortable with it. >> the other thing that plays into that -- i came to a realization in my work life, which is that if i worked 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every day of the year, i still wouldn't get it all done. and i had to make peace with that. and when you make peace with that, it gets a little easier, and then you recognize and you prioritize. >> i think that's so true, 'cause when i counsel women, i get this question all the time from women on my team, and i counsel them that they really need to attempt a paradigm shift, because by trying to do it all in the way they're defined doing it all, it's basically like trying to be deion sanders. you want to play major league baseball and in the nfl at the same time. >> at the same level. >> right. and it's simply not most people's reality. michael jordan couldn't do it. >> yeah. >> and so you really need to

think about what's the right blend of work and life that is most fulfilling for you. >> and also the most important interview you may do is not with the company but who's gonna be your executive assistant. >> exactly. >> that's one of the things that she said. it's building the team. people don't think about that, but it can make a huge difference. >> those are for people fortunate enough to have executive assistants, because let's also remember, particularly a lot of women who come into this conference, they don't. they aspire to. they're not there yet. and i just wanted to add one last point. the myth of the super woman, that you have to be perfect at everything, is something that a lot of women are ingrained in ever since being little girls, that you have to be the best. and that's one thing. but then you have to be perfect at everything, and that ends up being to our own detriment. sometimes we have to accept imperfection and do those tradeoffs and say it's okay. okay, it's not the perfect dinner, but you're gonna eat. you're not gonna starve. keep it moving. [ laughter ] >> mac and cheese has saved a lot of people. >> and i also think you're teaching the people around you to be self-sufficient, which is a great thing that you're

teaching your children, that their lives don't need to be perfect. you're wanting to teach them how to be independent people, how to deal with disappointment, and we're all trying to make their lives perfect. and, in fact, what you're teaching them is really, really good skills that they're going to take with them in a lifetime. >> well, it seems like if you are not a woman on an executive track, one of the things you could come out of this with, we hear about women getting together to do casserole clubs or to do investment clubs. maybe it's a work club. you know, you will watch the kids on monday and tuesday. i will watch them on wednesday and thursday. if you don't have that executive system, maybe there's a way to backstock with your friends for you to all get ahead. >> your friends, your younger siblings, your younger cousins. i mean, it's always been about support, right? i mean, when you think about it, women have not always done everything. there were always grandparents. there were aunts. there were people. now that village has kind of dispersed. we don't live in the same cities oftentimes that we grew up in, so we have to substitute that and we have to think how else might i be able to do it. it could be an intern. it could be a young person in college.

it could be someone that you're mentoring. but you can find other ways. part of it's trust. but if you have to build those relationships to say, "okay, how can we make this work so we can all succeed?" >> adam grant is one of the speakers, prominent as a warden professor. also he's done a lot of work with sheryl sandberg on particularly her writing that she's done about grief. her husband died out of the blue, leaving her with two young children, and she's talked about something she calls option b. "this wasn't what i wanted, but this is what it is. let's make the best of option b." there will be a lot of women in that room making the best of option b -- a divorce, a business failed, death, you name it. what is your best advice for them? >> you know, i want to just say something about sheryl sandberg. i think this writing that she's done recently is much more important than the writing that she did before on "lean in." "lean in" i think -- and i think this is really important for women who are aspirational -- she occupies a unique place in the social strata. she's a woman born to privilege. and when you're a woman born to

a unique kind of privilege and you're asking women who are blue collar, who are lower-middle to middle class to take risks, you don't really understand what you're asking those women to do. and i think -- so the work that she's doing now in option b i think is much more significant and increases the probability that she'll be able to speak to those women in ways that are meaningful. i think the first book, "lean in," spoke to a very small segment of aspirational women who were already way ahead. they're on third base already. they're probably gonna hit a home run. >> so, what's the best advice for women who's sitting there saying, "i was about to start a business, and he walked out. i was about to start a business, and somebody died. i was about to do whatever, and now i'm trying to put myself back together"? >> i actually live option b. so, i'm a single mother by choice. and so i don't have that partner sponsor at home, but the thing that i think i take every day is that it's possible and that it might not be possible in the way that you had expected it to be

possible, but you find family. you find a different team. and then if you take every day as an individual day, what you wind up doing is stringing along years. and you just have to look back and say, "okay, i'm not gonna be able to plan one year, two years out. how am i gonna be a single mother and be an executive?" but each day i do it, and then you look back and you're at the top of the mountain, and you say, "i did it." >> yeah. good advice. >> the other thing i would say is that you will find people that are going through the same situation, and sometimes those plan b are very personal issues that you don't want to share at work. but if you're listening, you will hear that other people have struggles, and sometimes sharing that helps you to get through it. and so kind of keeping your ears open for other folks that may be going through something similar is always very helpful. >> very quickly, we're down to the last minute, for our corporate women, people always often talk about money and negotiating money, but there are other things that women often forget to ask for and think about. what is your best advice beyond money that women in that room

should start thinking about as part of negotiations? >> i think you need to think about what it is that you want. and so is it that you want more time off, better work-life balance? so getting a day a week working from home is important. or do you want career advancement? so finding some sort of mentorship program or job rotation at work. think about what it is that you want as an outcome besides the pay raise, and then start to ask for those things. >> mine is i would agree completely with that. mine is less about what to ask for and more practice what you're asking for. it's a negotiation. it's just like making a presentation on an issue. know your subject matter. be passionate about it and practice. >> imagine what the comebacks are and be ready for them. >> absolutely. >> right. well, we're gonna take a short break, and we'll come back to more of this special edition of "inside story." >> "inside story" is presented by temple university. remarkable change isn't easy. but for thoswho take charge, it comes naturally. explore temple's impact. visit temple.edu/impact.

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>> welcome back to this special edition of "inside story" focused on the pennsylvania conference for women coming up on october 6. if you want more information and to get tickets, you can go to 6abc.com. but coming back out to the panel, we're in an interesting moment here. on one hand, we saw a woman running for president. 20 women in the senate. but we keep hearing about the lack of women in boardrooms, in the c-suite. what's the truth? where will we be in 5 or 10 years?

>> hopefully closer to equity. i mean, okay, 20 women in the senate. great. population of the united states, 51% women. we're still not there in politics. i mean, when you look at pennsylvania, we are still trying to get to 20% in the legislature and new jersey is 30%. so clearly on the political front, we're still not representing all the people. so what happens in the political scene you can also see in the business scene. hopefully when we do have more women leaders that they will also recognize what happens for women and say, "okay, i understand that you need a work-life balance. maybe your schedule's a little different. i still want to bring you on as opposed to just rejecting you outright." >> and also on the subject of corporate boards, that's a really big deal, and it plays into what nia what just saying. i think that i've heard that there is a new approach to including women on corporate boards called the rule of three. i'm still not seeing it. i'm watching. i'm waiting. but if hillary is the next president, i'm gonna say it. it'll be huge! [ laughter ]

>> let's talk a little bit about another speaker that will be there this week, mindy kaling, the actress who has not been shy about talking about social and political issues. and for my corporate ladies here, that is something as women ascend the ladder you're in a position of leadership. in certain moments, is it imperative that you speak out on social or political issues or shy away from them? how should women evaluate that? >> well, look, there was a time in the business world where you kept your views to yourself. but as the importance of a broader social responsibility gains greater emphasis at corporations, we're seeing more and more leaders, men and women, champing different initiatives. so whether it's -- and employees want to see companies that are focused not just on profits and products, but also purpose and passion. so that means being vocal on certain social -- and not so much the political, but certainly on certain social issues, whether it's charitable

contributions, volunteer days, clean water, technological advances in third world countries. i mean, the list goes on and on. >> many people might say, "well, those sound like the easy ones." in a moment when you're thinking to yourself, "this is a tough issue and i feel that i need to speak out," how does a woman evaluate that? don't do it, it's gonna hurt you, or take the leap, take the stand? >> i think as leaders, and i think organizations are understanding that people bring their whole self to work. and so they have to understand what's happening in their lives at home, as well as when we're macro in the environment abroad. so we work at pwc to create places to do that. there's vehicles. so, we just hosted a color brave series to talk about some ofhe social issues that have been happening between -- with the recent issues with black lives matters, as well as some of the shootings. and so what we did is we created a place and a time to do that and recognize that's not always within the construct of the eight-hour business day. but we recognize that people need to have outlets. >> yeah. >> i think it's -- oh, i'm

sorry, liz. >> yeah, i was just gonna say, i mean, i think very similar. at peco, you've got an opportunity where you're working on a number of projects that relate to the work you're doing, but you're also taking the time to talk about diversity inclusion or other issues that are focused. once you've got the confidence of your team and the folks that you're working with, it's much easier to have those tough discussions. >> one of the things women will be talking about quickly at this conference is how to present themselves, how to brand themselves in the world. and we were talking in the break that it's hard. it used to be women should look like men in the workplace. now almost it's the opposite. this very -- everybody's hit with the kardashians. you have the big eyelashes, the big hair, all this stuff. how does a woman choose her image in our world right now? >> yeah, so body language is very important whether you're a man or a woman. and i see mistakes all the time happen, men or women. it could be poor body posture, could be that you're not saying the right words, it could be -- but for men, those types of body-image mistakes, wrong

clothing attire, are usually just minor distractions, maybe even laughable. but for women, women are seen through a different lens. there's an assessment of her capability because of that body image. so it is important that, for both men and women, focusing on what you say, how you say it, how you portray yourself is very, very important. and women are a bit handicapped in that. >> you have to choose your role models really carefully. i mean, we just talked about the kardashians in a playful way. but seriously, when you look at your workforce, when you look at women that you aspire to model your career after, those are ones that you can talk to and say, "hey, i have a question. i'm not sure about the culture here or i'm about to walk into this type of situation. what might this be?" so you have to do your homework and you have to take some personal responsibility. but by the same token, you have to be comfortable in who you are. i have a lot of people who have said, "oh, my gosh, you're so brave 'cause you wear your hair naturally and you don't have chemicals in it," blah, blah, blah. this is who i am, and this is what i bring to the table. i have to be comfortable with

that, and wherever i work, they have to be comfortable with it, otherwise it's not gonna work. >> and that's the most important thing. >> unfortunately, donna, we have to wrap it up. we'll be right back. [ laughter ] ♪

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edition of "inside story." quickly, for millennials that are watching who may be in that crowd, your best bit of advice. michelle, we'll start with you. >> i think having the confidence to take risks. >> all right. stephanie. >> avoid one of the most common mistakes by women -- don't sell yourself short. >> nia. >> understand the culture in the workplace, and if you don't know the language, get a translator. >> all right. liz. >> find or keep your sense of humor. never take yourself too seriously. >> donna, we'll end with you. >> i think i would paraphrase president obama. be humble, be kind, be useful, and know your subject area, and be humble about what you know. >> all right. good advice to all. thank you, ladies, for having been here. i think people have gotten a lot. and a reminder that if you want to hear more, your opportunity will come up on october 6 at the pennsylvania conference for women. you can go to 6abc.com right now. take a look. they have the schedule there. you can see what's going on at what time, what you can expect, some of the keynotes right

there -- mindy kaling, abby wambach, anita hill -- and lots more. they've got so many great speakers this year, so take a look, buy some tickets. we'll all be there, and we hope to see you. so, again, thank you for joining us for this special edition of "inside story." i'm tamala edwards. we'll see you next sunday. ♪ >> good morning, i'm nydia han i'm gray hall. coming up next on "action news," from coast to coast, america is marking the 15th anniversary of the september 11th attack. trenton police are trying to solve a double killing at a gas station mini mart. eagles nation starts a new chapter today, we're live at the linc. those stories and forecast next

on "action news." >> good afternoon, it is

sunday, september 11, i'm nydia han. >> i'm gray hall, here's some of the stories we're following on "action news," president obama joins the nation in marking the 15th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. and communities throughout the area honoring the thousands of heros of that day.