>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, brie larson -- from "designated survivor," kal penn -- and music from spoon. and now, hold tight -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hola. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for coming. i'm glad you're here. as soon as we get started i want to take a moment to recognize and acknowledge international woman's day which was marked today. [ cheers and applause ] with a march on washington, d.c.

and a nationwide protest that was titled "a day without a woman." the idea was to show the world what it would be like without women. i'll tell you something, i have some experience in this area. i went years without a woman. [ laughter ] it was terrible. it was no fun at all, i don't recommend it. women are encouraged to stay home from work today. also to avoid shopping and to wear red in solidarity. while i'm always happy to see americans standing up for what they believe in, i'm not exactly -- i'll admit i'm not exactly clear on what a day without a woman is supposed to mean, exactly. women make up half the population, of course a day without them is going to be a mess. it seems like that goes without saying, right? does anyone -- hold on a second. let me find out here. siri, what is a day without a woman? hold on, let me do it again. siri -- what is a day without a woman?

>> i'm sorry, i don't work for you today, go [ bleep ] yourself. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, nowi understand. i might need some help finding my way home tonight. president trump wrote some beautiful things about women today. he tweeted, i have tremendous respect for women and the many roles they serve. they are vital to the fabric of our society and our economy. he didn't write that. but that's nice. [ laughter ] no way he wrote that. i don't know if ivanka had his phone today or what. for president trump, every day is a day without a woman because his wife still lives in new york. you know that, right? okay, great. hat the white house, you know, a day without a woman in the white house, also called a cabinet meeting. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] should i keep going? well, president trump has been

keeping busy. yesterday the "new york times" revealed he had a meeting in the oval office last week with harvey levin from tmz. the owner and public face of the news organization best known for screaming questions at drunk celebrities on the sidewalk, met with the president of the united states for an hour last week. what could those two possibly need to talk about for an hour? is there a terrorist plot against taylor swift we need to know about? [ laughter ] is isis after louis from 1d? what is going on? curiously, even though the meeting took place last wednesday, there was no mention of it on the white house schedule or on tmz. i went to tmz to check it out. this was the front page when i checked it today. rob and blac chyna back together, neighbors are pissed. no wonder the meeting called a meeting, the neighbors are pissed. tmz, they have that tv show. i'm not sure, historically they've actually been pretty tough on the trump administration.

>> today on tmz -- sean spicer unveils the republican replacement for obamacare. i guess size matters. >> this is government. this is not. >> i love him and i don't even understand him, he's got a good voice. voice goes with the body. >> also, president trump accuses obama of wiretapping. how low has president obama gone to tap my phones during this very sacred election process? >> okay, i love this guy. >> why he's not on a downward spiral. two, don't worry about who he's boning. >> did attorney general jeff sessions collude with the russians? naughty naughty! >> i never had meetings with russian operatives or russian intermediaries about the trump campaign. >> oh my god, that's so sexy. >> he's better than mamoa. >> he is, i'm telling you.

>> he's better looking than jason -- sorry. >> absolutely. >> if the trump administration is working with the russians it could destroy the very fabric of american democracy. >> somebody made a big peepee. >> tmz. real news. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just a recap. cnn fake news. tmz coming and staying for now. i don't know if president trump asked harvey levin what he thinks about health care. a group of republicans revealed their plan to repeal and replace obamacare. pete sessions has a health care plan of his own. i do know a catchy title when i see one. he calls it, this is 100% real, he calls it the world's greatest health care plan of 2017. [ laughter ] [ applause ]

you can't vote no on the world's greatest health care plan of 2017. you have to be an idiot. this guy is smart. you want to get donald trump's attention? just say something is the best. his hotel, the greatest. the hotels are the greatest, the vodka was the greatest, steaks of the best. if he finds out this health care plan is the greatest, he might even, i don't know, marry it or something, who the hell knows. meanwhile, white house stress secretary sean spicer has had all sorts of questions to answer this week. he took time to talk about health care at his press briefing this afternoon where we slowed him down to half speed for tonight's edition of "drunk sean spicer." [ tape playing slowly ] >> there is simply no contest between how we are approaching this and how democrats approached it last time. number one, there's actually been input from across the aisle. [ cheers and applause ]

. >> jimmy: on top of that hillary clinton made a rare appearance. she was the featured speaker at the annual girls, inc., luncheon, an even to support and encourage young women. we slowed her down to half speed too for this intoxicating edition of "drunk hillary clinton." [ tape playing slowly ] >> i've had my ups. and my downs. in the last months i've done my share of sleeping. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she may have gone right to sleep there. so she's having fun. those of you watching the show regularly know we go on the streets to test people passing by our studio in order to put

them on the show, we ask them to sign a waiver, basically a legal document that says it's okay for us to put them on tv. it's simple, takes a couple of seconds. sign your name, that's that. we decided to push ate bit to complicate things, to see how much nonsense people will tolerate for the chance to be on tv. >> can we talk to you for abc? i need to get a couple things signed just to make sure we can use you on camera. it's a standard release. lawyers make us ask all this stuff. you give absolute assurance you're sound of mind and body, not currently under the influence of any foreign substances? you've not been under the influence of alcohol or narcotics in the the last 72 hours? willing to submit to a b.u.s.? blood urine stool? >> i drank on tuesday. >> what'd you have? >> rum and coke, two. >> two of those?

>> yep. >> anything to eat? >> yep. >> appetizers? >> nope. nachos. >> did you have a salad with your meal? >> no. >> if you had a salad what dress doing you like? ranch, french, blue cheese, house is vinaigrette. >> house. >> i'll be back to take your drink order. >> sign here. you acknowledge at a future date your voice will be used in a line of dancing hamster toys? >> okay. >> does participant consent and agree to go ahead and just keep it in their pants while we do this? >> yes. >> by signing here, can i get your signature? i guarantee that i can do but may not be asked to do a southern accent. >> all right. >> producer reserves the right to smell your hands or fingers. >> smell my hands? >> turkey. >> salami. >> salami, you had lettuce on there. >> right. >> i'm going to have to take a quick mold of your hand. shove that right in there.

all the way in there. participant gives full permission to make a duplicate of said participant's house key. >> it's not mine. >> that's okay. this is for a blood alcohol level. just go ahead and breathe right into that tube for me. >> i'm not high or under the influence at all. >> producer agrees to scan with a black light to ensure there's no bodily fluids. let me just quickly get you. okay. in accordance with code 20.145 of l.a. county ordinance 16, for security purposes, participant agrees to full permission for producer to rummage through participant's furs, bag and/or fanny pack and take anything producer likes from therein. what have you got in there? >> some porn. >> some porn? can i see? what kind of porn? >> it's gay porn.

>> oh, all right, thank you very much. check here for the amount -- >> you want my citizenship? >> you've got a pen in your mouth already. participant agrees to catch this snake. yes. i'll put a yes. all final signatures on this line must be completed in blue or black squid ink. right there. and we'll just do that right there. that's a squid. >> no, no, no, no, no. >> it's just like a regular pep. >> i can't. >> just get your john hancock right on there. >> all right. all right. >> you can keep that. >> aah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a break. when we come back, i have some very depressing sex news. our friend yehya is here with his exclusive preview of "kong:

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school lunch can be difficult. cafeteria chaos. one little struggle... can lead to one monumental mishap. not with ziploc easy open tabs. because life needs ziploc. sc johnson. >> jimmy: welcome back. brie larson, kal penn, music from spoon is on the way. i need to talk to you people. i think this is cause for concern. there's a new study that a very nosey professor at florida atlantic university, found americans are not having nearly as much sex as we used to. in the '90s we were having sex on average 60 to 62 times a year. by 2014, 53 times a year. now we have sex on the internet instead of each other, right? that's got to be the reason.

single people have sex about half as often as those who are in relationships. but they enjoy it twice as much as those in relationships. [ laughter ] so it balances out. married couples had sex an average of 55 times a year in 2014, down from 73 times a year in 1990. the only group that went up is people over 70. they went up from 10 times a year to 11. [ laughter ] so the cyalis, it works, but only once a year is the thing. this is something that might be of interest for parents who are looking for a kid-friendly movie-going experience. this is a concept apparently doing well in mexico. so they're bringing it here to the united states. a movie theater jungle gym. they've turned, as you can see, a movie theater into a playground. there's a slide. a play area for the kids. they have this while the movie is showing, which looks like just the worst night of anyone's life ever, right? [ laughter ] quiet, kids, i'm trying to watch "manchester by the sea!"

they're opening two of them in southern california next week. they seem to be missing a key point. i think the reason you take your child to a movie is so they will be quiet for 90 minutes, right? not to get them all fired up. by the way, we already have movie theaters where your kids can run around, they're calling the living room at your house. [ laughter ] put them in front of the tv, let them jump all over the couch and go nuts. speaking of movies, there's a big blockbuster opening this weekend, "kong: skull island." brie larson is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] a big movie. i saw it, i like it a lot. nobody cares what i think about these movies. we have our own in-house movie critic, yehya. tonight, yehya gives us his take on "kong: skull island." >> hi, it's me, yehya, talking about the movie. the movie behind me is called -- king -- skill -- sland. the movie -- this time king kong

is in the -- like a dream, a lot of crazy, and the people are going dead. and you like the king kong take his monkey. no, you have monkey, you have cheat tax you have gorilla. king kong, big. the guy in the movie, the main guy, english guy, tom highling-bill. long time teller switt. he's in the movie "avengers." the fat guy, the big guy, his name jane coleman. he's in a movie with a lot of actor, he like like kids' movies, stone something, cartoon movie, right? >> magnificent. >> the other guy, john c. crilly, best of friend with colin farrell. he's in bunch of movie. "the worry bruzzer."

the american-african guy in that movie, sammy l. jackson. he's in the movie "snake in the air." he and john travolta, both of them hold the gun. he get the girl, barissa carson. i don't know how he get sex with the girl. his eyes big, his hand big, his everything big, you know. he can kill her. raaahhh! go watch the movie and good luck! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. thank you, yehya. thank you very much. >> jimmy, god bless! >> jimmy: thank you, yehya, god bless. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, guillermo, everyone, thank you, god bless you. >> jimmy: god bless you, yehya, also. >> you're the best. >> jimmy: really, god bless you. >> no, god bless you.

>> jimmy: no, in this case i'd like to say god bless you. >> no, god bless you forever. >> jimmy: no, really in a way it's god blessing you, though, you know? >> no, you and your guest and your family -- >> jimmy: your family and your friend guillermo, god bless the both of you. all right there you go. [ cheers and applause ] tonight on the show, we have music from spoon. from "designated survivor," kal penn is here. god bless you, yehya. we'll be right back with brie larson! >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by oreo cookies. join the oreo dunk challenge by sharing your dunk for a chance to win!

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if it's severe stop taking linzess and call your doctor right away. other side effects include gas, stomach-area pain and swelling. talk to your doctor about managing your symptoms proactively with linzess. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. top night from "designated survivor" which airs wednesday nights, that's tonight, here on abc, kal penn is here. kal is an interesting guy he was in the "harold and kumar" movie, and then took a break from that to work at the white house. then did another "harold and kumar" movie. then went back to work, is now on television. in a way, not unlike donald trump's career path. then, their forthcoming album is called "hot thoughts," a great band, spoon from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ]

tomorrow night, on the show tom hiddleston will be here, gillian jacobs will join us, and a very funny comic named sam jay. so join us then. [ cheers and applause ] last year, our first guest won an oscar for being trapped in a room, now she's stuck on an island with a big angry ape in "kong: skull island" which opens in theaters friday. please welcome brie larson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> thank you so much, so do you. >> jimmy: this movie "kong: skull island" which i liked it a lot, i love king kong and i love this stuff. in a way being the damsel in king kong's palm is kind of an iconic movie role to have. >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: i know that you are

excited about another damsel-type situation, perhaps equally, perhaps even more. i hear you're going nuts for "the bachelor" this season. >> yes, majorly nuts. i'm in it for the right ropes, honestly. >> jimmy: you are, that's important. >> genuinely. >> jimmy: what are the right reasons to be watching that show? >> i have to figure that one out. everyone on the show seems to have a clear understanding of what those right reasons are. not to be on tv even though you are on tv, i know that for sure. >> jimmy: to be on the show, we know what the right reasons are supposed to be. but to be watching the show, i literally have no idea what the right reasons are. i think it's to make us feel better about our lives, right? >> no! >> jimmy: oh. >> they're living a glamorous lifestyle! they're in a mansion, they have sushi on a little coffee table next to them 100% of the time. there's a bartender. they get to be like randomly flown to like finland. if that was your life -- >> jimmy: i never go to finland. >> that's what i thought, there's no part of us watching

it going, oh, yeah, my life's so much better than this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is funny here you are an oscar winner, watching these people going, oh, i wish. if only my life could be like that. [ laughter ] meanwhile they're living in a condo in van neuys once this shw is ever. >> i guess you're right, it's just my dream. >> jimmy: you throw bachelor viewing parties. >> i don't know if anyone here is part of a bachelor fantasy league, but i am. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: who did you have? to win it all? >> i don't want to talk about it, jimmy. i'm really upset. >> jimmy: obviously danielle. it's obviously danielle. >> what? you're with me on that? i thought it was danielle to the end and i'm really upset that you let me down. >> jimmy: i got it wrong. >> you're talking about vanessa, how dare you throw to it my face? >> jimmy: i got confused. >> what's upsetting about vanessa is i forgot. it was a last-minute thing. i had to take the final one and i just forgot.

there was too many brunettes and i'm sorry. i feel bad about it. now i feel like she's going to win and i'm mad she's going to win. i should be happy she's finding love but i want to win my bachelor league. >> jimmy: who in your league picked vanessa? >> everyone, everyone. >> jimmy: that was an obvious one. my wife picked her before she even knew what her name was. >> thank you, jimmy, i don't need you to rub it in. we're supposed to be talking about my accomplishments. >> you're right, you're right. >> if you want to talk about how i'm failing in my bachelor league, we can, we can. >> jimmy: this is an amazing accomplishment. literally it's an amazing accomplishment. you have bachelor bingo that you play at your house. who comes up with the categories? >> my mom actually came up with these categories. >> jimmy: we've got drink champagne, someone says genuinely, a one-on-one date. do you have a thing where when a musician no one's ever heard of suddenly appears on the show and starts singing? do you have that as a box? >> no, but that's a really good idea. >> jimmy: that's a good box, yeah. >> that's a really good one. we need some new ideas. >> jimmy: i've got a lot of them for you.

any time someone says they're falling for somebody. >> yes. >> jimmy: any time chris harrison looks like he wants to kill himself. literally chris has that look on his face where he wants to blow his head off. bop. there you go. >> chris hasn't been around much this season. he's tough on the bingo cards. one of them is chris harrison appears. that's a stressful one. >> jimmy: i think chris has had enough of the show to be honest with you. so you have these parties. as we mentioned. and there's a whole theme, right? you've got bachelor theme -- >> during the hometown days everyone brought their foods from their hometown. and then -- >> jimmy: from the hometowns of the bachelorettes? >> no, of their own hometowns. >> jimmy: of their own, that's nice. >> oh, yeah, it was really nice. we also have a red wine fountain. which is very classy. >> jimmy: where do you get a red wine fountain? >> amazon. it's easy. anyone can get it. it's a fountain that lights up and you can put whatever you want in it. >> jimmy: before i show these photos you had a very, very special guest at your party.

how did it come to happen that this person came to you party? >> so -- i guess the party's become sort of infamous at this point. >> jimmy: okay. >> and a friend of a friend kind of found out about it. and so he showed up. at one of our gatherings a couple weeks ago. >> jimmy: here is a photograph. this is at your house. >> there's the red wine fountain. >> jimmy: there's the fountain, it's beautiful. and why did you photograph nick as if you were a paparazzi hiding? [ laughter ] >> because i was too shy. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i got freaked out, starstruck. it was the day before, i was hugging meryl streep, i was like, this is fine. then nick showed up at my house and i was like, ahh! i didn't know what to do. these are all my photos. here he is. >> jimmy: nick behind the milk shake machine. zoomed in, there's nick like bigfoot in your house.

what was it like watching the show with nick there? >> he was really cool about it. but we were all really nervous. >> jimmy: you were nervous? >> yeah. well, he came with his best friend so we thought it was going to be fun. we always gather an hour before the show starts so we can catch up. drink some red wine. he came for that part and i figured he would leave arveds. so then after an hour, we're going to watch the show. his friend was like, okay, i'm going to leave nick here, i've got to go on a date. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. he just stayed and we were like, we are going to watch the show now. he was like, yeah, i'm going to watch it with you. >> jimmy: was that his first time watching the show with you guys? >> i think he had even is it before. >> jimmy: he knew what was coming. >> he sat there in that seat. >> jimmy: did you quiz him and did he answer questions? >> he did. he didn't give any spoilers. >> jimmy: he didn't? >> i think is what you're supposed to do when you are a bachelor. he did kind of give us fun behind the scenes stuff. talking about like what was happening when they were in the woods. it was that episode they were like doing the tarot card reading. >> jimmy: what a special experience. >> it really was, really was. >> jimmy: how late did nick

stay? >> he stayed until the very end. the second it was over, i mean, the second gals over he turned to me, i need a lyft now. he means a car from the car company lyft. >> jimmy: he didn't have a helicopter waiting outside? >> there's not a good service at my house. i had to call him a lyft. >> jimmy: like a party clown in a way. if a clown came to your children's birthday party. >> he had such a good sense of humor about the whole thing. and i was so nervous. i don't think i said anything to him the whole time. i just was like hiding, taking photos, sending them to amy schumer. why does this happen? i'm too scared, i'm too shy. >> jimmy: the whole world is turned upside down is what's happened here. >> for me, yes. i ordered his lyft. he walked out. and i said, thank you so much for having such a good sense of humor. i'm just so grateful that you're really okay through all of this. >> jimmy: what if he grabbed one of your friends and took her home and had sex with her?

would it ruin the show for you? >> that might ruin the show for me. yeah, yeah. that would be too -- i just want the fantasy of it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i said, you have such a good sense of humor, i'm glad you're wok with all of this. he said, yeah, i was going to say the same thing about you. and he got in his lyft. i came back into the house, i can't believe this just happened, nick thinks that i'm okay. >> jimmy: oh, wow. that's the ultimate, really. the ultimate endorsement. >> so i must be okay. >> jimmy: brie larson, she's okay. we'll be right back with brie after this! i know, we need to talk about this. it's time. it is a big decision for us... let's take the $1000 in cash back. great! yeah, i want to get one of those gaming chairs with the speakers. oh, you do? that's a surprise... the volkswagen 3 and easy event, where you can choose one of three easy ways to get a $1000 offer.

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>> jimmy: no, it's not just kong, he has friends. it's "kong: skull island." it opens friday. brie larson. >> whoo. >> jimmy: oh my god, working with a lizard of that size must have been terrifying. >> i'm so glad i never saw it, way too many teeth, i don't like it. >> is it strange having to run around and be scared and panting and stuff when there's nothing there chasing you? >> yeah. i mean, it's fine normally. you get sort of used to it when you're on set. but where we were filming -- i'm pointing to the screen that's now my face. before it was the movie. it's also where they shot part of "jurassic park" and "lost." they have a tour that goes through. it's perfectly fine to do it because everyone agrees to it on set, but it's weird when you're like, aah! running around. all of a sudden you realize there's a "lost" tour coming by. there's all these people with cameras taking pictures of you. this will make sense in two

years, but right now i know i seem crazy. >> jimmy: the "lost" tour" replaced by a "kong" tour and somebody else will be making a movie and humiliating themselves. >> my hope is because it was a boneyard with all these bones made to look like other creatures who had died there, my hope is that low know we did a pretty good job cleaning up, that maybe a couple of those bones are left over and like 1,000 years from now someone's going to be like, i found it! >> jimmy: that probably will happen. bury it deep enough. >> i really hope. >> jimmy: you are going over to the premiere happening tonight across street. who's going with you? >> i don't -- i don't know. i have all these tickets and didn't know who to invite. >> jimmy: how many tickets do you have? >> how many people -- >> jimmy: we've got about 200 people here in the studio audience. >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do they have room for everyone? >> seems like they're into it.

>> jimmy: i don't know these people. >> if you want. we're just across the street. so there's tickets for all of you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're all going to see "kong: skull island." brie larson is the star. don't leave before the next segment, okay? we need you to stay for the band, then you can go. brie larson, everyone. be right back with kal penn! how do you become america's best-selling brand? you're not going to make it. do you think you can make it? uhh... make it... every time. nice! going further to keep drivers moving freely. that's ford... and that's how you become america's best-selling brand.

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>> jimmy: we're back. spoon is on the way. our next guest went from white castle to the white house in record time. he's now part of a make-believe white house as press secretary on "designated survivor" wednesdays at 10:00 on abc. please welcome kal penn! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: do you by any chance throw "bachelor" parties at your house? >> not the kind i think you've discussed. >> jimmy: straight, regular, old-timy bachelor parties. >> old-school ones. >> i feel i'm looking in the mirror. i don't know if you're aware of this. just look at us. we kind of look alike, right? >> i'll take it. >> jimmy: on twitter people are always posting things like, kal penn with a beard, jimmy kimmel with a beard, are the same guy, right? kal and jimmy look alike in a strange way, i think it has something to do with similar head shapes. we look like the same person. i mean, this is like every single day, somebody posts something. why does kal penn look like jimmy kimmel? >> no way. >> jimmy: why does kal penn -- >> how come you're not the white kal penn? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe i am, maybe we didn't collect all of the -- >> are there more? >> jimmy: have you ever heard that? >> i have.

i've heard that, and i've heard russell wilson, which is also flattering, i'll take it. >> jimmy: you consider it flattering, that's nice. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i consider it flattering as well. i mentioned earlier you worked at the white house. which is i'm sure you probably get tired of talking about. such a novelty for an actor to have had a real job. to like go back and forth between a real like serious job. i'm so interested. >> it was amazing, man. look, i never thought -- that was never really a goal per se. i worked on the president's 2007 -- ex-president's 2007 campaign. it just sort of flowed into an opportunity to serve at the white house. but incredible. i agree with you. sit agent a desk for 18 hours a day as opposed to being in your trailer with people bringing you coffee is very different. >> jimmy: were you working 18 hours a day? >> tackling health care and things like that. >> jimmy: was it fun? was it rewarding? do you feel now like you're wasting your life? >> my first love is always

filmmaking and comedy and things like that. >> jimmy: gotcha. >> but yeah, incredibly rewarding. >> jimmy: on "designated survivor" you're in the white house, that must be kind of weird to be working on a set that's a recreation of the place you actually worked at in the first place. >> yeah, that's a little strange. things are in the wrong place on our set. >> jimmy: they are. >> except the oval office is to scale and they've done a great job replicating it. all the other rooms are in the wrong place, sometimes you'll get lost. >> jimmy: do you correct them when things are not exactly as they're supposed to be? the people on the set? >> sometimes. it's also, you know -- i think part of not correcting them is letting them go crazy with the fiction. which is probably what people want to see, instead of just the accuracy. >> jimmy: i see. sometimes there must be things that you go, no, that guy wouldn't stand there like that. this guy wouldn't do that. do you keep your mouth shut because it's annoying to others? >> this is a point of contention. i feel like i'm always the annoying one. >> jimmy: uh-huh, okay. >> but i say it anyway. >> jimmy: you do, yeah.

>> a lot of times people will go -- you can't say it in like a nasty way, right? >> jimmy: right, right. >> say it with a smile. the writers will go, thank you very much, we're not doing that. which is fine. but it's fun. >> jimmy: now you're playing the white house press secretary, which probably when you signed on didn't seem like such an interesting -- it's an interesting job, but now it's the most interesting job in the world. >> it is, yeah. i watch a lot of sean spicer's press briefings to learn specifically what not to do. [ laughter ] as a press secretary. but before that job, sean spicer was very kind in letting me shadow him a little bit. i have a lot of friends who worked up to the last day of the administration. got a lot of feedback on exactly what that job should be like. it's been fun. >> jimmy: you're playing it more realistically than the guy who's actually doing it. >> i guess. [ laughter ] when we first started, the writers had asked me what's a press secretary's job like? my biggest note for them was, no matter what, the press secretary does not lie to people. doesn't lie to journalists,

doesn't lie. then you lose credibility and your boss, the president, loses credibility. then literally sean spicer's first press briefing, he lies about -- i had to call the writers, i promise you, still, please. >> jimmy: that's not how it's supposed to go, not how it's supposed to go. >> jimmy: do you ever feel sorry for him? i know you're not actually doing his job but there's connection there. i see him, i sometimes feel -- i like to imagine him looking at trump's twitter in the morning going, oh my god, what am i going to say about this? >> no, i don't feel bad, why do you feel sorry -- that's a job he chose and that he is doing a fantastic job. >> jimmy: maybe i have more empathy, i'm just a better human being. >> you might be. >> jimmy: we may look alike on the outside but on the inside -- >> you're just a better person. >> jimmy: i've got a heart of gold. [ cheers and applause ] are you having fun? is this a fun show to do in general? >> i love it. we film in toronto. it's a great cast. >> jimmy: didn't you do "harold and kumar" in toronto? >> you have a great memory.

>> jimmy: everything is in toronto months is what it is. you did that movie up in toronto. then you came, you left the white house to do the christmas "harold and kumar," correct? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how do you explain that to obama? hey, i got these -- it's a whole -- i don't know if you've seen -- had he seen the movies? >> i think so. he's very pop culture savvy. but i couldn't figure out the best -- what do you say? i have another stoner movie to make, sir. i'm not going to get health care reform passed for 20 million people, i'm going to film a movie with a friend in toronto. it was nice to go back. >> jimmy: i would think so. welcome back to "fake reality." the show is called "designated survivor." it airs wednesday nights at 10:00 on abc. kal penn, everybody. be right back with spoon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel

live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank brie larson, kal penn and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, their new record "hot thoughts" comes out next friday, here with the title track, spoon! ♪ ♪ ♪ hot thoughts melt in my mind could be your accent mixing with mine ♪ ♪ you got me uptight twistin inside, hot thoughts all in my mind and all of the time babe ♪ ♪ hot thoughts all in my mind and all of

the time yeah ♪ ♪ hot thoughts all in all in my mind all of the time ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ your teeth shining so white light up this side street in shibuya tonight ♪ ♪ hot thoughts melting my cool is it your motion signaling cues ♪ ♪ hot thoughts all in my mind and all of the time you must be trouble for sure ♪ ♪ hot thoughts

all in my mind and all of the time yeah ♪ ♪ i tell it to you slow when i want ya to know ♪ ♪ hot thoughts all in all in my mind all of the time ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ took time off from my kingdom took a break from the war ♪ ♪ took time off from my kingdom raise up my creatures diamonds from space pure facets and features ♪ ♪ last drag drug from your lips makin you think how good it

was to let baby kiss ♪ ♪ em and those hot thoughts melting your cool could be that motion signaling cues you've got ♪ ♪ hot thoughts all in my mind and all of the time yeah ♪ ♪ all that do my rhyme maketh you mine yeah i think all i think all your love is enough ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

tonight, a special edition of "nightline." "girls sold: breaking the cycle." a young girl with a bright smile. but beneath it a hellish past. sold into sex slavery and held for years. >> i'd cry every day. i'm scared every moment. >> reporter: finally rescued, taken in by one crusading couple. >> they assume you can go in there and buy a little girl any time you want. >> now returning to the country where her childhood was stolen. bob woodruff inside cambodia where desperation turns children into currency. we are inside a raid to rescue young girls. and with one brave survivor confronting the woman who she says sold her. >> did she ever apologize?