Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 24, 2017 11:35pm-12:36am EDT

11:35 pm
from "the mick," sofia black-d'elia. and chef thomas keller. and now, without further ado, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. we're happy to have you. it's very kind, thank you. everybody's happy because, you know, it's freezing all over the country except it was 86 degrees here in l.a. today. [ cheers and applause ] i won't say it's the reason people hate us but it's one of
11:36 pm
the reasons everyone hates us. i hope those of you at home are warm, maybe even cuddly, i would like that for you. it is very cold on the east coast thanks to storm stella. thousands of flights are canceled, there are blizzard warnings, school closings, mittens are being pinned to jackets, juice is turning into popsicles on its own, it's crazy. make no mistake, you turn on the weather channel, try to find out what's going on, you see the meteorologists giving advice, telling you to be careful, make no mistake, those people are not on your side. those people are rooting against us and for the weather, they're rooting for the snow. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there's a lot of snow on the ground. this is where it goes. in new york, even the bbc has a weather reporter on standby. keep a special eye on the guy in the background here for tonight's snowstorm edition of "behind the news." >> new york city has had about 1,500 plows out all day on a
11:37 pm
continuous cycle cleaning the roadways. and officials are warning people that if there's no reason to go out, to stay indoors. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jolly, happy soul. it's funny but if you get hit by a bus at that moment? it's even funnier, i guess. this is a house in upstate new york. it's right on lake ontario. you can see this house is completely covered in ice. that is something. by the way that's exactly what the inside of the freezer in my garage look is like. look at this everything is frozen. what do you do if that's your house? i don't know, you have to move until easter, right? just because your house is frozen solid or you're cooped up with the kids doesn't mean you can't have fun in weather like this. today i came up with something. one of our infamous youtube challenges, this is where i challenge you to do something and you do it, it's very simple. we've done this a number of times in the past. for father's day last year i asked people to play catch with
11:38 pm
their dads using something other than a ball. that went well. >> dad, do you want to play catch? >> [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: the year before that we had kids feed their dad breakfast in the shower. >> happy father's day! >> aagh! >> jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel made me do it! >> jimmy: i didn't make him do anything, he did it on his own. this was one of my favorite challenges. this one is self-explanatory. >> hey, jimmy kimmel, this is me spraying my dad with a hose. >> [ bleep ]! [ bleep ]! [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: you get the idea. [ cheers and applause ] you understand that's the sort of thing we're looking for. tonight i would like to invite
11:39 pm
you to participate in our next video montage, a winter storm youtube challenge. go outside, get a ball of soft, fresh, beautiful snow, don't pack it into an ice ball, don't kill your family or dent their heads. just get a nice snowball, bring it to the bedroom and throw it on a loved one while he or she sleeps. record and it post it to youtube with this title. hey jimmy kimmel i served a snowball in bed. use that title so we can find it and look for a message from us. hey jimmy kimmel i served a snowball in bed. we'll watch all of them, good luck. i'm counting on you to do the wrong thing, okay? [ cheers and applause ] i don't know how many of you are here on spring break right now? [ cheers and applause ] college students are out of down for spring break. this is the time of year students take a well-deserved break from partying and drinking
11:40 pm
at school to partying and drink on a beach or perhaps another town. over the next few weeks more than 50,000 future careers will be ruined by photos posted on facebook of spring break. if you are away on spring break, have fun, do whatever you need to do, don't forget congress is about to take away your health care, so if you're going to do something dumb, do it now while it's still covered, okay? the ncaa basketball tournament is kind of under way. tonight what they call the first four, playing games for the teams that have absolutely no chance of winning anything, they're a waste of time. after tomorrow 64 teams will compete. over the next three weeks they'll be whittled down until only two teams remain. then those two teams will get married by chris harrison? is that how it works? i don't know, it's been a long -- anyway, over the next couple of weeks every office in america turns into a low-stakes casino. you put $10 in it lasts three weeks. some people submit multiple brackets. i don't want to say this to people who did that here at our job. people who submit multiple brackets at work are the same
11:41 pm
monsters who tear a muffin apart with their hands and put the other half back on the tray. they do -- every year they do studies about all the money companies lose because their employees are watching the that may have been true in 1995 but if your employees are wasting time watching basketball, they'd be wasting time on instagram and facebook, that's just how it is. wasting time is our full-time job now, okay? we have a big staff. and it can get confusing. we had some controversy with our super bowl squares this year. so to make sure we got this one right, we actually hired an accounting firm to keep track of all the brackets this the year. oh, hey, how you doing? what is your name? >> i'm doug from waterhouse price coopers coopers. >> jimmy: wait, you guys are the accountants that did the oscars? >> no, that was price waterhouse coopers. we changed our name. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you changed your name. but you're the same company?
11:42 pm
>> well, let's just say we got everything under control now. >> jimmy: i don't know about this. >> so what we got here is all the names of your potential winners of your office pool thingy. all marked individually in envelopes. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't -- >> i need to rehearse. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't think we really -- >> please, jimmy, we need this. >> jimmy: okay, all right, fine. what do you want me to do? >> announce the name of the winner, please. >> jimmy: okay. i'll need the envelope, then. >> all right. >> jimmy: okay, the winner of our march madness office pool is -- "moonlight." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you sure this is -- did "moonlight" enter our office pool? >> oh, god. >> jimmy: do we have a staffer named moonlight? >> god, they're going to kill me. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> jimmy, they're going to kill you. >> jimmy: they're not going to kill you. it's just a sketch. >> guillermo, can you get me out of the country? >> guillermo: sorry, you're on your own. >> jimmy: you're in this country, you won't get back in. >> doug's on his own!
11:43 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here's a new fashion item for those of you who are parents. but also enjoy club wear. it took many years to figure out. the folks at top shop found a way to make mom jeans even more embarrassing. these are called clear knee mom jeans. you can see what they've done is added a clear plastic patch to the jeans to create windows for your knees. this is a real thing. you can buy these at nordstrom for $95. i feel like nordstrom did this just to drive ivanka trump nuts. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: show those again. perfect for when you want to throw on a pair of jeans but also want a rectangular sunburn on your knees. this is the sort of idea that would get you laughed off of "shark tank," right? i don't know if you heard, radio shack filed for bankruptcy last week. who's been in a radio shack this
11:44 pm
month? okay, that's why. [ laughter ] this is the second time they filed chapter 11 in the past few years. i don't understand this at all. how could they go -- what did they do with all the money i spent on aaa batteries nine years ago? even the name radio shack is outdated. i mean, it's not so different from going to a store called the fax machine hut. [ laughter ] [ applause ] radio shack isn't ready to pull that universal ac adapter out of the wall just yet. first they tried teaming with sprint to open cobranded outlets. now they're bringing in other partners too. >> the shack is back. and even better than ever. now we're partnering with dunkin' donuts and petco and subway and walgreens, also ace hardware, pizza hut, papa john's, bed bath and beyond, and victoria's selection. for the best selection of coax wall cables, bear claws, snuggies, cold fish, footlongs, mufflers, cheese balls, vicodin, hammers, flip-flops, sexy
11:45 pm
lingerie and tires. radio shack. please come in here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is everyone adjusting to daylight saving time okay? last night i went home, the sun was shining, it was weird. i did have an extra hour to harvest my crops, which was nice. i actually spent the extra hour resetting all the clocks in my house and the car. charging -- this clock thing is something almost no one is good at. so as a public service, my cousin mickey who is not the most tech-savvy person in the world volunteered to show us how to do it. before you see this, i want you to know this is not scripted, mickey was given no instruction in advance. yes, to answer your question before you ask, yes, she really is like this. >> hi, i'm mickey and i'm going to show you how to change your clocks on your microwave. here you go. okay. there's a lot of stuff going on here. so we have to kind of concentrate.
11:46 pm
start with something that says time. and then you -- you start the time. i think the time is about 1:30. [ microwave running ] [ bleep ]. wait, no. okay. all right. power. time. 1:30. add clock start. [ microwave running ] all right. this doesn't say 1:30 so let's try it again. 2:30. time. enter. >> yeah, you did it.
11:47 pm
>> oh, yeah! how did i do it, what the hell? [ applause ] >> jimmy: sometimes it's better to just wait until november. hey, we have a great show tonight. chef thomas keller is here. from "the mix," sofia black-d'elia is here. be right back with dax shepard so stick around!
11:48 pm
♪ how do you become america's best-selling brand? you make it detect what they don't. stop, stop, stop! sorry. you make it sense what's coming. watch, watch, watch! mom. relax! i'm relaxed. you make it for 16-year olds... whoa-whoa-whoa!!! and the parents who worry about them. you saw him, right? going further to help make drivers, better drivers. don't freak out on me. that's ford. and that's how you become america's best-selling brand.
11:49 pm
11:50 pm
[music / beat-box vocals playing] ♪ you're gonna rock the party ♪ ♪ ♪ rock this party up thousands of barrels lay silent. of jim beam, aging, building a fuller smoother flavor that only comes from being aged four long years. at jim beam, our history is made from the inside. how will you make yours? and we're proud to reveal that jim beam black has been awarded the world's highest rated bourbon. their words not ours, make history. hashtag stuffy nose. hashtag no sleep. hashtag mouthbreather. just put on a breathe right strip. it instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than cold medicine alone. shut your mouth and say goodnight mouthbreathers.
11:51 pm
breathe right.
11:52 pm
>> jimmy: hi there, welcome is a television show on fox, he is one of the all-time greats th he's going to show us how to prepare a carrot. [ cheers and applause ] not just any carrot, a gold medal-winning carrot. tomorrow nig, rr night? matthew perry will be here, michael pena will join us, and music from paul shaffer with jenny lewis and shaggy. and then thursday, tim allen, dj khaled, and music from the mighty mighty bosstones, led by our announcer, dicky barrett. [ cheers and applause ] the mighty mighty bosstones have a new song called "what the world needs now is love." and if we don't get it, dicky will hit you over the head with a beer bottle.
11:53 pm
our first guest is a man who is also a writer, producer, director and star of an intentionally funny new movie based on an unintentionally funny tv show. "chips," it opens in the please welcome dax shepard! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> i was thinking the same thing. watching your monologue. i'm always blown away with how immy: well, thank you.u keep >> look at you, you're dressed up, you're a director now, you're a movie star. >> that's what i'm trying to exude is director. >> jimmy: you're exuding it, you got some of it on me. >> good, good. >> jimmy: i'm very proud of you. when we met you didn't have a whole lot going on, am i correct? >> no, no, i don't think i had furniture in my house. you're the type of guy who's so generous and i have gone to your house a few times.
11:54 pm
you're like, hey, i can come over to your house. i'm like, there's nowhere to sit but love to have you come by. >> jimmy: we laid on the formica. it was nice. >> we played scrabble, you don't need a lot of furniture for that. >> jimmy: that's true, all you need is wooden tiles and a floor. >> that's right. >> jimmy: you've been working on this a long time now. >> probably 2 1/2 years. >> jimmy: what a thing to be able to first of all write the movie as its own thing. then to say, i want to direct this movie, i'm going to star in this movie, i'm going to produce this movie, and it turned out great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's a big-budget take on a television show we love. >> we love, we hate, we love. >> jimmy: i don't know if we hate it. >> no. >> jimmy: my memory of "chips" is cleto, our band leader, would stay at my house, i was living in arizona, he'd stay out late and he'd get high. [ laughter ] then i would find him fully clothed, passed out with "chips" blaring on the tv. >> can you play that song still? not that you should do it now -- >> jimmy: it wasn't even a lick.
11:55 pm
>> he wasn't a fan as much. just bad timing. >> jimmy: was this a show that you loved? >> what i loved is all those shows where a vehicle was the star. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like, you know, "dukes of hazard," "starsky and hutch," "fall guy." >> jimmy: "a-team" was like that. >> the van was popular as barakus. this show was about california and motorcycles. and i was 2. that was exciting for me. i was in detroit which was gray and crappy. this was california and sunshine and all that. i was writing another screenplay and making a poncherello joke and i couldn't spell it. i googled it. this picture popped up of john and porchl, but they actually looked cool. they actually looked tough, which i hadn't seep them look in a while. and i was like, wow, there's a bad boys version of this movie to be made, a cool lethal weapon. >> jimmy: based solely on that photograph? >> based solely on that photograph, it's a powerful image. >> jimmy: i bet, it really is. >> it is.
11:56 pm
i don't know how i got them to let me do it but then they let me do it. i'm basically riding on coattails, michael pena. >> jimmy: he's a funny guy. not just in the movie. he seems to be a funny character on his own. >> yes, he is. >> jimmy: he'll be here tomorrow. at things came out nteresting. when you dug into him? anything you can share with us? sixth in the state in some running competition in illinois. he's a shorter latino gentleman. >> jimmy: wow, really? >> there's a lot of athletic my drift. chicago. my j >> jimmy: it's a big state. >> he got sixth somehow in the state. champ. >> jimmy: so don't race him. >> he's very quick. he was a wrestler and a boxer. >> jimmy: really? >> yes, he's all these amazing things. >> jimmy: are you sure he did all those things? >> i was dyslexic and i
11:57 pm
graduated. those were my accomplishments. >> jimmy: maybe he's a good liar. >> he very well may be a great liar, he's a great actor. >> jimmy: so you make this movie, you love motorcycles, you love vehicles of all kinds. >> as you know. >> jimmy: you decided, something i am against in general, to do your own stunts. >> that's right. >> jimmy: it looks great. it's thought one of those weird things where it's suddenly like some other guy on the deal. but it's dangerous and it seems like -- i don't know, it seems like if i was running the movie i wouldn't want my star doing thth was the director too. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i would go have a conversation with myself. you think you got this? yeah, i believe you can do it, t' play a guy with aids or whatever. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's your dream too? >> no, no. i assume tom hanks was telling people that when he did "philadelphia." this is what you do. this was a literal d i would ride by the cops we had closing down t the cop would be like --
11:58 pm
[ laughter ] and i'd circle back around, they'd be high-fiving. as a 12-year-old, your total dream is that the cops will salute you for driving like an idiot. >> jimmy: oh, yes. you will never get a ticket in this city again. >> no -- well -- it could go either way. like a chp could pull me over and be like, cute movie, real cute. you don't like the uniforms? you made fun of the uniforms? you think we look like u.p.s.?ch and john came on the scene it made being a california highway patrol officer -- >> for sure. >> jimmy: -- very cool. i would imagine these guys got a lot of action out of it, if you know what i'm saying. >> particularly poncherello, estrada. that guy was living the good life is my understanding. >> jimmy: do you know that for a fact? >> yeah, i certainly met a ton of people during the movie that knew erika in his prime -- i called him erika. erik estrada. i want to go right into the
11:59 pm
last -- yo >> erika and i got -- that's what i call him, we got so close. it made me feel better about it. yeah, i think he was at studio 54 every weekend and stuff. women would have been crawling all over him. >> that's true, he was gorgeous. what people forget because we're super old, he was 25. to us he looked older. he was a 25-year-old kid.ss. he drove women crazy with those cupcakes. >> jimmy: did he really? >> yeah, then he'd run into studio 54. pop those things around. [ laughter ] then he had three, four gals back in whatever was the popular hotel. >> jimmy: speaking of buns, when we come back we'll get a chance to see something we've not seen on this program before, dax naked when we return. dax shepard is here! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ s agent. i'm coming over right now. the newly advanced gle can see in your blind spot.
12:00 am
[ dinosaur roar ] onboard cameras and radar detect danger all around you. driver assist systems pull you back into your lane if drifting. bye chief. bye bobby. and will even help you brake, if necessary. it makes driving less of a production. lease the gle350 for $579 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. gave us the power to turn this enemy into an ally? microsoft and its partners are using smart traps to capture mosquitoes and sequence their dna to fight disease. there are over 100 million pieces of dna in every sample. with the microsoft cloud, we can analyze the data faster than ever before. if we can detect new viruses before they spread, we may someday prevent outbreaks before they begin. fortified.tored. replenished. emerge everyday with emergen-c
12:01 am
packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. why not feel this good everyday? emerge and see. they say glory awaits (playersat the finish.houting) but what about the start? that moment you suck up all that doubt, th all those reasons "why not" and decide to begin. get your start with under armour, now at kohl's. only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. they release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. tylenol®
12:02 am
12:03 am
leave it to the pros? i am a pro. i made this lawn from seed pride, and less water than you'd think. i politely disagree. reclaim your turf.
12:04 am
well, if it isn't the second most famoushbor. groundhog in pennsylvania. wow, you were some athlete. back in the day, g. well, you can still go for gold... ahh, million dollar gold rush, the new instant game from the pennsylvania lottery. with top prizes of a million dollars. see, you still got game, dwayne. i got instant game, gus. instant game. (giggles) keep on scratchin'.
12:05 am
you're going to drag me there, you're going to have to lift me into the tub, just grab me and get it over with. >> fine, fine. >> oh, ow! god, you're hurting me, man. >> you said get it over with, come on! >> i'm not going to argue semantics -- >> oh! >> oh my god! >> you break anything? >> no. >> hey, man. did i feel you face plant into
12:06 am
my pubic bone? >> no, no, there was no contact. >> are you sure? because i could have swore i felt either your nose or your lips. >> nothing touched, bro, nothing touched. might have been like -- like a little bit of contact. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: michael pena and dax shepard in "chips." you were obviously completely naked in that scene. >> i was. penis. >> jimmy: who provides that bag? amazon? >> crown royal. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> no, i don't know. crown royal bag. like a silky -- like if you bought the really expensive crown royal. human skin, yeah. wrapped in human skip. >> jimmy: you're naked. but a lot of actors are naked, we see it all the time. also di movie while you're naked. >> it's a potential issue with hr. [ laughter ] sexual harassment suits. because i'm the boss. and i'm telling pena, no, slam
12:07 am
your face in there! sell it! and when we -- that was day two of filming. so pena and i did not really know each other. nor did i know most of the crew that was shooting the movie.so would have a robe i'd put on in between to be respectful. then i kind of lost track of that robe. like a good six hours went by and i was just bare naked. and that was that. but i did as a courtesy, the one nice thing i did is i wore a merkin. you know what a merkin -- it's a pubic wig they had in brothels in the old west. >> jimmy: why did you have that? >> because i collect brothel items from the old west. [ laughter ] no, because i wanted there to be some barrier between his face and my shaft. [ laughter ] the base of my -- >> jimmy: that's very considerate. i think actors talk to other actors and they're going to want to work with you as a director after hearing that. >> yeah, absolutely, absolutely. i started with the boundaries conversation. >> jimmy: spielberg does that, i think, actually. >> yes, he does.
12:08 am
>> jimmy: that beard is a glue-on. >> he just pulls it off and puts it right there. they talk about the scene in his trailer and then "schindler's list." it's a recipe for an academy award. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i didn't know that. on the dvd extras i guess. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: congratulations on the movie. go see it, "chips" opens march 24th. dax shepard, everybody! we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (vo) what if this didn't have to happen? i didn't see it. (vo) what if we could go back? what if our car... could stop itself? in iihs front-end crash prevention testing, nobody beats the subaru impreza. not toyota. not honda. not ford. the all-new subaru impreza.
12:09 am
more than a car, it's a subaru. you give us comfort. and we give you bare feet... i love you, couch. ...backsweat and gordo's everything. i love you, but sometimes you stink. ♪ new febreze fabric refresher with odorclear technology... ...cleans away odors like never before. because the things you love the most can stink. and plug in febreze to keep your whole room fresh for up... ...to 45 days. breathe happy with new febreze. hey allergy muddlers are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool? try zyrtec® zyrtec® starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. stick with zyrtec®. muddle no more®. try rhinocort® allergy spray for powerful nasal allergy relief.
12:10 am
adios, honey, hasta la vista, baby. (sing-songy) i'm a fat guy in a little coat. fat guy in a little coat. that rug really tied the room together. any questions? bueller? bueller? stream all your entertainment. introducing at&t's new unlimited data plans. plus, get the amazing new iphone 7 on us. the little sounds your crispy bacon makes drive me crazy. you naughty little... (spank) did you just spank your lunch? yeah. (spank) devour. food you want to fork.
12:11 am
because when it comes to great tasting water... ♪ fill quickly and pour immediately, for great st new brita stream. like paperless, multi-car, and safe driver, that help them save on their car insurance. any questions? -yeah. -how do you go to the bathroom? great. any insurance-related questions? -mm-hmm. -do you have a girlfriend? uh, i'm actually focusing on my career right now, saving people nearly $600 when they switch, so... where's your belly button? [ sighs ] i've got to start booking better gigs.
12:12 am
12:13 am
12:14 am
>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back to the show. still to come, chef thomas keller. our next guest split her senior year between high school and playing an unwed mother on "all my children." she plays a spoiled rich kid named sabrina in "the mick." watch it tuesdays on fox. please welcome sofia black-d'elia. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm great, how are you? >> jimmy: i was told you're very nervous. >> i'm so nervous. >> jimmy: there's no reason for nervous. >> oh my gosh.
12:15 am
>> jimmy: look at this way, it's a couple of chairs and a piece of wood. then these people. >> a lot of people. >> jimmy: and millions of other people. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's all it is. >> jimmy: you don't seem nervous at all. >> i don't? >> jimmy: i want to mention your name. your last name, black-d'elia, . >> jimmy: similar to the black dahlia, a famous unsolved murder case from the '40s here in l.a. >> that's right, people remind me of that often. >> jimmy: i imagine you hear that pretty much every day. >> yeah. at the airport. that's the black dahlia. >> jimmy: have you been hyphenated for your whole life? >> for my whole life, yeah. >> jimmy: it's always been that way? >> my mom's last name is black, my dad's last name is d'elia, my mom is like, i want ownership of you too. >> jimmy: your dad is an attorney. >> he's a judge now. >> jimmy: a judge, that's right. you took a picture of your dad. >> there it is. >> jimmy: i assume this is from a magazine or something? or an '80s tv show or something. >> that's his audition for "the
12:16 am
sopranos." >> jimmy: that is a great photograph just to start with. i will say i would never want to go in front of this guy in court. >> he's scary, right? imagine him being your dad. [ laughter ] it's worse. >> jimmy: is he a scary dad in general? >> he's -- kind of a scary person to everyone. my friends call him uncle tone. he's like sicilian jersey. >> jimmy: i gotcha. how long has he been a judge? >> just under a year. >> jimmy: do you ever go and see him rule? i have, yeah. but he embarrassed me badly last time so i don't want to go back. >> jimmy: what did he do to you? >> he's in family court, serious sad stuff. i was sitting in the front of the court and he was like, really quick before we move on i just want everybody to know it's court mandated, tuesdays 8:30, you watch "the mick" on fox, there's my daughter sofia. and everybody was like, are you kidding me right now? like i'm here to get child support and you're telling me i have to watch a family comedy? >> jimmy: he's supporting his child too. >> that's right.
12:17 am
>> jimmy: child support of a different kind. >> exactly. >> jimmy: yeah, wow. he seems like a character, your dad. >> he is the ultimate character. >> jimmy: he is, really. give us one good, one story you tell about your dad that encapsulates him. >> my dad's a big prankster. >> jimmy: okay, great quality in a judge. [ laughter ] >> great quality in a judge and a dad. serious guy. he used to do this thing with my mom when i first started driving, he would leave my car like five blocks away, then tell me to stay at a friend's house a few hours too late and be like, i don't know, i think we shouldn't have gotten her that license. would do this bit as if i died in a car accident. mom is like, that's too far. >> jimmy: i see why your mother wanted ownership, yes. [ laughter ] >> that's right. she was like, i don't want people to think that you're only his kid, he's kind of a nightmare. >> jimmy: can you get away with anything when you have a trial lawyer as your dad growing up? >> yeah. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: because you have his genes, of course. you're going to outwit him in some way. >> that's right.
12:18 am
i look at everything as, can i get away with all of this? then i think about him telling me the legality of things. >> jimmy: i would imagine -- explain to your dad, a dark sense of humor that they appreciate your television show. because it's kind of a raunchy show, for lack of a better term. >> they love it. this is the first thing i've done that i think everyone in my family actually really likes. >> jimmy: did they tell you when they don't like stuff? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> they do now. my cousin tanky. >> jimmy: what? >> i don't know what his real name is, i call him tanky. he called me, he was like, hey, cuz, it's tank. i want to say, thanks for being on a show i can finally watch. >> jimmy: tanky is very critical? for a man named tanky. >> that's right, that's right. yeah, he's like, they all find this really funny, it's their sense of humor, i think they're happy i'm on something they don't have to begrudgingly watch. >> jimmy: "all my children" is
12:19 am
not a show tanky would watch? >> tanky was not into "all my children," no. >> jimmy: how old were you when you were doing "all my children"? >> i was a senior in high school. i was working at tcby at the time so i got to quit. >> jimmy: did you do it in spectacular, dramatic fashion? >> definitely, threw ice cream everywhere and just left. i was like, i'm making a lot of money now, bye! it was great. >> jimmy: yeah, right, yeah. going from the yogurt shop -- that's yogurt? tcby? >> the country's best yogurt. >> jimmy: is that what it stands for? wow. >> i'm so happy i came, jimmy. >> jimmy: i learned something. [ cheers and applause ] did you know that arby's is rb for roast beef? >> yeah. no, i had no idea. >> jimmy: we're learning from each other. >> yeah, this is great. >> jimmy: well, congratulations on the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and not having to work at the yogurt shop anymore. >> it feels really good. i'm in the upper echelon now. >> jimmy: do you have anything you want to plug for your father? since he is plugging you at work it seems like -- >> if you have issues with
12:20 am
getting your child support and you are in the jersey city vicinity, go to the -- judge d'elia. >> jimmy: don't take matters into your own hands, take them to court. "the mick" airs tuesday nights at 8:30 on fox. sofia black-d'elia, everybody! be right back with chef thomas keller. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ing] [ping] [glass breaking] [statue breaking] hello, mr. ortiz. do you have a tax question? yeah, i'm teaching tennis on the side now. that's nice. but i'm going through a lot of balls. can i deduct them? in your case, yes. you can enter your expenses right here. oh, cool. hey, david. are you ready for your lesson? [ping] just like that. oh, okay. thins! our eyes on the amazingly then, feast your mouthhoy! on their rich chocolate-chipped-ness! it's no trick we put an exclamation point on thin and ta da,
12:21 am
it's thin-credible! made with... choose your favorite pasta,or piadina or sandwich. it all comes with our never-ending soup or salad. and all the breadsticks you want. starting at just $6.99 get never-ending value for lunch, today at olive garden. you're not going to make it. best-selling brand? do you think you can make it? uhh... make it... every time. nice! going further to keep drivers moving freely.
12:22 am
that's ford... and that's how you become america's best-selling brand. ♪ it takes two to make a thit outta sight ♪ ♪ it takes two to make a thing go right ♪ ♪ it takes two to make it outta sight ♪ ♪ hit it! i wanna rock right now ♪ ♪ i'm lil yachty and i'm down if you're down ♪ ♪ i'm not the most lyrical kid known ♪
12:23 am
♪ 'cause my team the livest ♪ brightest and flyest ♪ king of the teens, i speak to all ages ♪ ♪ we in sync while goin' thru all phases ♪ ♪ positivity it's what made us famous, well... ♪ ♪ so much endurance i shoulda' ran track ♪ ♪ song so good, promise i'll get a plaque ♪ ♪ 'cause it takes two to carry all the big things ♪ ♪ it takes two to end up with a shiny ring ♪ ♪ now look what you made me do ♪ ♪ you and me baby it takes two ♪ ♪ bringing new moves to the old school ♪ ♪ 1, 2, 3 get loose now! ♪ it takes two to make a thing go right ♪ ♪ it takes two to make it outta sight ♪ before you turn it on. before you text email
12:24 am
take a picture watch a show listen to music or make a call... we ensure your phone will go through our toughest safety check ever. introducing our 8-point battery safety check
12:25 am
you feel every mountain we've ever conquered. in our sports cars,
12:26 am
you feel every podium we've ever climbed. and now, they've come together to create something you've never felt before. introducing the glc coupe. part suv. part sports car. all mercedes-benz.
12:27 am
>> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back. our next guest is a multiple-james beard award winner and the only american chef to have simultaneous three-star michelin ratings for two different restaurants. it's a big deal, i'll have him explain it. fresh from his win at the culinary olympics, please welcome chef thomas keller. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome, welcome, come on up. this is the guy i was just talking about. michelin star thing i think is confusing for most people because we know michelin as a tire company, the michelin man.
12:28 am
>> michelin started their guide in 1900. >> jimmy: guide to the restaurants of the world. >> the purpose was to get people to travel. to great restaurants and great hotels. >> jimmy: then they give out stars or a half a star or some certain amount of stars -- >> they only give full stars. one, two or three, three being the highest. to give you perspective, there are six three-star restaurants in new york. i think there are five now in california. >> jimmy: and you -- >> two in chicago. >> jimmy: you have two two-star restaurants? >> yeah. jimmy, i'm blessed. [ cheers and applause ] i have one in new york. and of course here in napa valley. >> jimmy: then you represented the united states. what's the name of the competition? >> the competition is bocuse d'or. 20 countries compete around the world every year in lyon, france. >> jimmy: united states had never won before? >> we won silver in 2015, never placed at the top of the voting,
12:29 am
which is gold. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. it was a very proud moment not just for the team but i think for the united states. >> jimmy: donald trump said we were going to start winning and winning and winning and it turned out he's right. [ cheers and applause ] he's started with this. >> there you go. >> jimmy: okay, so you made this big, beautiful platter as part of this competition. and you've recreated that here for us. >> we have. you'll get to see it a little later. so this, what we're going to try to do is do one of the garnishes. there's a total of four garnishes on this platter. >> jimmy: who decided that a carrot would be the thing that you would make? >> we look at our garden across the street. we grow a lot of great carrots. we wanted to bring something from napa valley to lyon, france. we thought the carrot would be something that was beautiful. >> jimmy: do you check the carrots or carry those on? [ laughter ] >> we have to smuggle them in. >> jimmy: my goodness. >> we don't want to get caught. >> jimmy: i don't want to ask where you smuggled them. [ laughter ]
12:30 am
>> we don't have much time, i want to get you to work. we're going to sharpen it. so this is much like a pencil sharpener. you've used a pencil sharpener? >> jimmy: i have, yes. >> follow me, go ahead. push the carrot in. >> jimmy: big end? put it back in the machine. turn it on. take your pencil sharpener, or your carrot sharpener. right there, okay. >> jimmy: look at that, that's beautiful just so start with. you made this thing? >> push it, push it. that it? turn it off. take the carrot out. >> jimmy: look how pointy. >> pretty good. okay, all right. take that out. we don't have much time. >> jimmy: okay. >> the clock. >> jimmy: i can't get it out. >> that's it. okay. so now put it on your board. >> jimmy: got it. >> put it straight across. take our knife. we're cutting it to create a channel that we're going to remove and then we're going to fill it with a sauce. okay?
12:31 am
>> jimmy: okay. >> that sauce is called a sauce with sweet onions. we'll fill that with that cavity. >> jimmy: there should be a tool for this, like melon baller. some kind of carrot channeler. >> you've got your carrot channeled out. >> jimmy: that would be a good show, "the carrot channeler." >> that's good. we channel our carrot, then cook them with some of the carrot liquids to give it some more flavor. we compress it in a bag. cook that. they're all cooked. >> okay, all right. we skipped the cooking part, all right. >> we don't have -- we don't have the time. >> jimmy: this is available for eating? >> this is available for eating. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> we filled it as you can see, done that very cleverly. we're going to trim it off. right along there. okay? >> jimmy: got it. what is this? this is the sauce? >> that is the onion sauce. you can eat that as well. it's all edible. we glaze it. take our carrot on our fork, put in our glazing liquid.
12:32 am
you've got a beautiful, shiny glaze on top of it. >> jimmy: where do you get glazing liquid? >> we make it. >> jimmy: oh. >> we make it. >> jimmy: look how much better i was doing that. [ laughter ] >> really good. so then we have our carrot. we'll pull out our third carrot from underneath. >> jimmy: maybe i'll get a trophy. >> now we're going to make -- this may be the hardest part of the whole segment. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> or the hardest part of your entire life. >> jimmy: possibly, yeah. >> you've got your tool, you've got your carrot on top of, that's okay. we're going to take our -- this is pretzel. this is pretzel dough. we're going to begin our coronet. take our coronet, got a flat part on it. >> jimmy: yes. >> try not to pick up the whole tray. just one. >> jimmy: i go 110%. >> just one, just one. find that little seam. take this. >> jimmy: this is pretzel dough, huh? >> feel that seam on there? >> jimmy: i feel it.
12:33 am
>> take it, indent on it that. just start wrapping it around. >> jimmy: no one's ever going to do this, right? at the end of it, all you have is the little carrot. >> all you have is a carrot that's wrapped in a pretzel that's worth gold. >> jimmy: i can't do it. >> yes, you can. we take that. put that in the oven. did you get it ready? >> jimmy: i moistened it a little bit. >> it goes in the oven. >> jimmy: what? all right, yeah. >> i got one. >> jimmy: wow, look what i did, everybody! look how perfect mine is! [ cheers and applause ] >> okay, you got that. take our tool off. there's a flat spot on it. that flat spot has to go on the bottom of the carrot so that it can still maintain -- >> jimmy: oh, thread it in. >> right there you go. thread that right in there. >> jimmy: okay. >> we got our coil wrapped around the carrot.
12:34 am
>> jimmy: look how adorable that is. >> isn't that perfect? i brought you some nourishment. >> jimmy: oh look, team usa. >> take our carrot rounds which come from our garden. start to garnish that. slightly on there, on there. one there maybe. >> jimmy: the show ended like four minutes ago. >> i'm sorry. [ laughter ] >> then watercress. >> jimmy: "nightline" is on right now. [ laughter ] >> i'm just trying to keep it moving along here so we can get this done. >> jimmy: this looks filling too, you know? [ laughter ] >> you can't eat too many of this. >> jimmy: oh, honey, what did you make for dinner tonight? >> we have our carrot. >> jimmy: i spent four hours on this carrot. [ laughter ] >> beautiful. >> jimmy: wow. and look at how beautiful mine turned out too. [ cheers and applause ] we've got to see the platter. bring out the platter. team usa! the champions! wow.
12:35 am
[ cheers and applause ] gentlemen, you've represented our nation well. you've conquered all these other stupid nations. finally we beat them thanks to you. that is something beautiful. what is this up here? >> it's the chicken. >> jimmy: that's chicken? >> braised in veal sauce. >> this is our coach. >> jimmy: nice job, coach. [ cheers and applause ] >> who won silver. >> jimmy: you won the silver? >> our candidate matthew peters. >> jimmy: matthew, congratulations to you. congratulations to you. >> we've got a present for you. >> jimmy: oh, what is this? >> this is our team scarf. >> jimmy: the team scarf, oh, thank you, wow. [ cheers and applause ] chef thomas keller! you can experience his cuisine in your own mouth at the bocuse betro and the french laundry. thanks to dax shepard, thanks to
12:36 am
the chef and all his teammates here. apologies to matt damon, we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next, thanks for watching, good night! this is "nightline."
12:37 am
>> tonight, hitman for hire. a husband comes home to a shocking discovery. >> help me, help me, my wife, she's dead, hurry. >> but his story starts to unravel. newly released police body cam footage from that horrific night. >> there's blood all over. she's been dragged. >> how investigators found her killer. plus at this boutique hotel in nairobi, kenya, guests are up to their necks in giraffes. the gentle giants butting into bedrooms, interrupting tea time, even paying lip service. >> i usually don't kiss on the first date. >> but it's not all about high jinks. how this exoting outpost is working to save these magnificent creatures from extinction. hot mama. >> what the

75 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on