>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- david spade. from "broad city", abbi jacobson & ilana glazer. and music from khalid. and now, how many times must i tell you, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing? hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for joining us. on this glorious night of feet and balls. just a few hours ago a new nfl

season is under way. if you're a chicken wing, this is your last chance to hide because tonight the defending champion new england patriots hosted the kansas city chiefs. the patriots, you know, are a heavy favorite to win the super bowl again this year. the heaviest favorite since 2000. and the jets on the other hand, they have the longest odds to win for any team ever. the new york jets are 1,000 to 1 to win the super bowl. [ laughter ] if you want to win $1,000, all you have to do is take $1 and buy a scratch-off ticket. don't bet on the jets. [ laughter ] of course this is an especially exciting time for fans here in los angeles. this year we have not just one but two teams to let us down. [ laughter ] the rams and the chargers. it's kind of funny. people here in l.a., have any of you decided which team you're going to root for? it's kind of like the last episode of "the bachelor." you narrow it down to two. and then maybe you pick one and five months later it's over and you're like, what? but you know, they had to cancel one of the games this weekend because of hurricane irma. the dolphins were supposed to

host the buccaneers in miami, but they're pushing the game until later in the season. hurricane irma is, as you probably know, threatening the state of florida. winds are upwards of 185 miles per hour. it's very scary. thousands of people are moving to higher ground. just to give you an idea of what's going on, this is a picture. i found this on instagram today. you can see this young woman -- [ laughter ] -- has been forced to take refuge in a tree. all her clothes were blown off her body except for her boots. [ laughter ] in happier news we have a new bachelor to rally around. they unveiled a fresh new bachelor this morning on "gma." most people thought it was going to be peter, who was the runner-up on "the bachelorette." but it was not peter. and i applaud that. nothing against peter but peter's the only contestant in "bachelor" history to openly say it was ridiculous to propose to someone who was actively dating someone else. [ laughter ] instead they went in a different direction and chose a rare foreign-born bachelor. so take that, donald trump. [ laughter ] >> the big reveal that

everybody's been waiting for. the new bachelor. and you know what? we won't keep you guys waiting any longer. so come on out. [ cheers and applause ] they love it. they love it. >> jimmy: you're the new bachelor. muy caliente, guillermo. [ laughter ] i hope your wife doesn't find out about this. sadly, guillermo is not the real bachelor. sorry, ladies. that was a joke. this is the guy. this is the new bachelor. his name is ari luyendyk jr. you can see he really practiced holding that rose. ari is featured on season 8 of "the bachelorette." he's a real estate broker and a race car driver. that's some combination. he's never late to an open house. [ laughter ] but ari's dad, you may recognize his name. he's a famous indy car driver. and what woman wouldn't be thrilled to take the name lyin'

dike. [ laughter ] a lifetime of l-u -- no. anyway, congratulations to ari. once he makes it through the senate confirmation hearings he will be sworn in as bachelor. donald trump jr. was in washington today. you remember him? djtj? [ laughter ] still trying to get that going but it's not taking off. so he sat down with the senate committee that's trying to figure out whether or not the trump campaign cluolluded with russia and they specifically wanted to know about this meeting he and other key members of the trump campaign took with russia during the election. initially he claimed it was a small meeting about adoption law. then he admitted the meeting was to get info on hillary. and then it turned out it wasn't just him at the meeting, there were a number of trump staffers in the room including paul manafort and jared kushner and others, a bunch of them. it was like when a friend finds out you had a birthday party and you didn't invite them. you say it's just a small thing. just the family. then he goes on facebook and sees a picture of everyone diving into your pool. [ laughter ]

that's basically what this -- there were more characters at this meeting than on "game of thrones." [ laughter ] donnie jr. gave a 20-minute opening statement behind closed doors and then he took questions. he reportedly claimed he did not collude with any foreign government and does not know of anyone who did. said he only took the meeting because he felt it was his responsibility to find out if the russians had any information that could call into question "the fitness, character or qualifications of a possible future president of the united states." for real, that's what he -- has he ever met his father? [ laughter ] fitness, character, qualification. he's 0 for 3 on those. [ laughter ] anyway, this is not a good time to be donald trump jr. his likability factor right now, somewhere between herpes and "the emoji movie." [ laughter ] not a great time to be his father either. [ applause ] his father, who i don't know if you're aware, is the president, held a joint news conference at the white house today with the emir of kuwait. watch this closely. trump did everything in his power to get reporters to ask

the emir a question instead of asking one of him. >> you have a question. your people have a question. yes. [ laughter ] go ahead. to the emir. do you have a question for the emir? question for the -- yes. for the emir. >> my question is for you, mr. president, first. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you sure you wouldn't rather ask the emir? [ laughter ] why did i even bother to bring the emir if you're not going to ask him any questions? [ applause ] the emir. the president is still selling merchandise on his campaign website. this is a new item. we monitor it from time to time. it's called the presidential

medal. it's a medallion dipped in bronze, just like the real donald trump. [ laughter ] and for only $45 you can have a little version of the president to scowl at some new things. there's a coffee mug that says "i love waking up and remembering that donald trump is president." [ laughter ] well, who doesn't? you just took the words right out of nobody's mouth. [ laughter ] and they're also selling -- [ applause ] this is good. latinos por trump buttons. marked down from $5 to $4. [ applause ] i don't know how he's going to build that wall. he can't even get mexicans to pay for a button. [ laughter ] this one, this is the best product. this is from the bradford exchange. you remember the bradford exchange? the people who sell you those things you sell when grandma dies? well, this is their latest item. it's called the president trump express. this is a real item. it's a real working electric

train inspired by our nation's 45th president. limited time offer. not available in any -- no kidding it's not available in any store. the bradford exchange used to run a lot of tv commercials. and that isn't really the case anymore. i don't know if it's not in their budget now or what. but since they didn't make a commercial, we decided to make one for them. and, well, here it is. >> together we will make america great again. >> commemorate president donald j. trump's commitment to getting america back on track with the president trump express. from the bradford exchange. precision scaled and dramatically decorated, this collectible train set includes the majestic and powerful engine with conductor putin at the helm. [ laughter ] the tweeting car, where the president does all his best thinking. the ben carson quiet car. shh. [ laughter ] and the clinton caboose. featuring hillary right where she belongs. sad. the trump express charges across

a highly detailed version of donald trump's america. featuring a championship golf course, the majestic trump tower, accented with 14 karat gold leaf. a fake newsstand. and a life-like sean spicer, who you can throw under the wheels. [ laughter ] act now and receive an eight-foot-long unclimbable border wall, which comes complete with a working catapult to send immigrants back to wherever the hell they came from. >> if you're an old white guy, you're going to love this train set. >> with 14 feet of non-looping track, the president trump express is sure to go off the rails and crash and burn. call today to order the president trump express. the first 30 callers will receive a billy bush bus. >> you can do anything. grab them by the [ train whistle ] >> absolutely free. >> made in china. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'd buy that. we're going to take a break.

when we come back, i don't know if you've seen this. there's a video making the rounds of a family, an irish family trying to catch a bat in their kitchen. if you've seen it -- if you haven't, i'll show you that video, and we'll meet the family too. it's great. so stick around. we'll be right back. >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by ford. ♪) girl: ... on it. found it! (imitating explosion) ( ♪ ) okay, so let's... stop. don't mess it up! (squeaking) ahh-h-h! ee-e-e! ( ♪ ) all right. (chuckle) ( ♪ ) nice! ( ♪ ) come on, dad, let's go! for those who know what they're really building. always unstoppable.

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for two years, all with a two-year agreement. and switching has never been easier. get out of your contract with up to a $500 credit to help cover your early termination fee. go to fiosgigabit.com [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. abbi jacobson, ilana glazer and music from khalid. i don't know if you've seen this video the of the irish family with a bat in the kitchen. if you haven't you're in for a treat. it was posted to facebook on tuesday. it already has millions of views. here's why. >> catch him! catch him, denny!

mom-l you get out? denny, will you catch him? oh, [ bleep ]. oh. oh. catch him, denny. catch him now, quick. catch him. oh, [ bleep ]. oh! maureen, will you stop looking in the door? oh, jesus. catch him, denny. you're doing a great job. stand up. oh, did you get him? no, he's there. he's making a mockery out of you. the dog's pissing. dad, the dog's actually peeing. maureen, you're no help behind the door. you're tiring him out. he's like mcgregor. he's got no legs left. catch him now. go. oh, [ bleep ]. oh! oh!

>> jimmy: well done. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] i like -- i don't know. not everyone in that part of the world is braveheart, i guess. [ laughter ] i watched that video like a dozen times. after the eighth time i thought it would be wise to track the family who made it down. and joining us now from their home in kerry, ireland please welcome the flemings. derry, maureen, and their son sean. [ applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for joining us. is that the kitchen where it all happened? >> yeah. this is exactly where it happened. and this is my father and my mother maureen and derry. squlu couldn't look for different than i imagined you would look from your voice on the thing. >> were you expecting a big huge irish fella? >> jimmy: i don't know what i was expecting. have you all been vaccinated for rabies, by the way? [ laughter ] >> yes. that's all taken care of. >> jimmy: was this the first time you had a bat in the kitchen? >> first time we had a bat, yes. but last year we had a robin in the sitting room.

it was only natural. batman and robin. >> jimmy: batman and robin, yeah. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you shot the video. did you think that yelling at your dad to catch the bat would help him catch the bat? >> oh, yeah. i thought the bat got frightened of my father's legs, i'd say. [ laughter ] he was trying to get out the window. it wasn't the bat's fault at all. it was my dad standing there in my own soccer shorts that scares him. >> jimmy: derry, is it comforting to know that in a time of emergency your son will be there to not help at all but just film the whole thing? >> that's it. he was petrified of the bat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maureen, you were scared of the bat, too. you were hiding behind -- were you in the closet? >> she let the bat in. >> jimmy: oh, you're the one that let the bat in. i see. even your dog got in on the action. what is your dog's name?

>> basel. >> we have him here. hold on. >> jimmy: oh, bring basel in. did anyone sbabesides basil pee during this incident? [ laughter ] at any point did you consider just turning the house over to the bat and moving? [ laughter ] no. >> it crossed my mind. i was close to the back door. so i was going to leave him. but i seen the whole thing. my dad standing on a chair in the middle of the kitchen trying to take this bat on one v one. but in the end he got the bat. it was a good lad. we look back at it. >> jimmy: were you all surprised at how many people have watched this video so far? >> it's absolutely crazy. >> jimmy: it is. have people been coming to your house? >> and taking photographs. they were trying to -- >> jimmy: what advice would you give other people who wind up having a bat in their kitchen? >> you can have my father if you

want. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your father really was the hero of this. [ applause ] off the subject of the bat, how are things in ireland right now? are you excited about our new president trump over there? >> who's that? >> what's his name? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, we got -- never mind. >> i want to thank you guys. i really hope none of you turns into a vampire after this. but that was a delightful video. if a flying rodent ever invades your home again, please send it to us immediately. okay? we'd love to check in with you. [ applause ] >> i have a -- >> jimmy: what's that? >> jimmy. i have something for you. hold on. my dad is going to give a little irish jig to you. >> jimmy: oh, an irish jig. >> here we go. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. the fleming family. thank you, flemings. well done. tonight on the show we have music from khalid. from "broad city" abbi and

ilana. and we'll be right back with david spade. [ cheers and applause ] no, no... ♪ k up. ♪ the all new 2018 camry. toyota. let's go places. modern life deserves a mit's sold out.ay. don't fret, my friend. i masterpassed it! you can use it online and on your phone i masterpassed it. you got the tickets? onward!

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[ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. tonight, two very funny people. they have a show called "broad city." the new season premieres on wednesday night on comedy central. abbi jacobson and ilana glazer are here. [ cheers and applause ] and then this show recently took home the trophy for best new artist at the vmas on mtv. this album is called "american teen." khalid from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, who do we have? oh, this will be great. christian slater will be here, great richard lewis will join us and we'll have music from jack johnson. and next week. do you know? guillermo, do you know? nobody pays attention to anyone around here. [ laughter ] sean spicer will be here next week. that's right. [ applause ] unless the president finds out. in which case he may get called back to active duty. so that will be a lot of fun, please join us then. our first guest tonight is one of the funniest men ever to share his name with a garden tool. he's a star of stage and screen

who returns to tv on "the mayor." it premieres october 3rd here on abc. please welcome david spade. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hey! hey, guys. >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. >> nice to see you all. >> jimmy: you look well. you look tan. you look rested. you do. >> i -- last time i was here remember i hosted the show for you? >> jimmy: yeah, you did host. thank you for doing that. great job, by the way. [ applause ] you did a great job with that. >> it was harder than i thought. you do a nice job with it. >> jimmy: what was harder? >> there's a lot going on. working with this joker for starters. guillermo, we were buddies, remember? and then you unfollowed me on instagram the next day. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he did? >> it's all biz. i get it.

but we had a great time -- >> guillermo: it was cinco de mayo. >> jimmy: it's a tradition in that community to unfollow people -- >> unfollow your fake friends? yeah. so that happened. but it was a great time. i had one interview that was a little tough. >> jimmy: i did see that. well, you know, it was kind of weird. well, courteney cox was your first guest. >> she was great. >> jimmy: and it was great. you seemed -- >> know her a little bit. it was easier. then i thought i was sort of in the clear because guy ritchie i had seen out and -- >> jimmy: the director. >> he directed "king arthur." and i hadn't seen the movie yet of course. but it turns out no one did. [ laughter ] no, i wanted to but i was sick that day. so what happened was -- >> jimmy: you know, they sometimes stay in the theaters for months. >> this one did not get jammed in the theater forever. it got out of there. but i do like the guy and i did think he was there to be interviewed. he didn't seem to want to be

interviewed. >> jimmy: he didn't seem to want to talk to you it seemed like. it was a weird thing. he would ask a question and then there was -- >> there's a point where i go do you want me to talk for a while? then i talked and he sort of listened to me. but afterwards he goes great job. i go, me? [ laughter ] i thought we were going to get in a fight. but overall it was good. >> jimmy: after that interview you sent me an e-mail and i think you were serious when you said this. you were like, was that a prank? >> yeah. i thought he tricked me. i thought you put in a guy to be tough on me. and see what i would do. obviously i was floundering. i thought it was a cheap trick. >> jimmy: you know, if i knew you better, if -- because i feel like i would have maybe done that if we knew each other better. but i feel like we only see each other on the show and then at charity events specifically. >> well, listen, i do a lot of charity stuff. i'm a great guy. >> jimmy: you're one of the most charitable people in the world. [ laughter ] >> on tv i come off like a tough guy, hard-ass athlete. but in real life -- [ laughter ] but in real life i am -- i remember one -- some of these

are really fun. they make them fun. you're giving money, you're trying to help. sean penn is sort of a buddy of mine and he has a thing for hati. he goes to haiti. there was a big earthquake a few years back. he literally gets in there. i'm not exactly like that. like he invites me down there, i'm like no chance. you know. i'm sort of a [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] by the way, i don't for sure know where haiti is. if you had a gun to my head i couldn't tell you on the map. but i've heard nice things. but then he goes we're having a big celebrity like thing at the montage a mile from your house. i go, okay, i can go to that. so i went there. and then you give money and they have bands play and it's like 300 celebs, rich people. so i go, cool. but then i brought a girl, trying to puff up, naturally, like a loser. i'm walking in like charlize, pow, pow. hey, everybody. everyone's like, what? and then i get in and then there's -- you know, they have these auctions where they have these big ticket items and they have really cool things and

you -- you're a little buzzed so you buy them. and it goes right to the charity. so it's great. so they had -- she goes are you going to bid on anything? i go, oh, yeah. stay close. there's going to be some money flying around. >> jimmy: there's a guy on stage and -- >> they sort of bully you. >> jimmy: embarrass you. >> and sean's up there. so they go -- i go, there's paul mccartney tickets and front row and a meet and greet and bruce springsteen and a meet and greet and front row. i go that's pretty cool. she's staring at me. do you know who paul mccartney is? she's like, dude, i don't know who maroon 5 is. i'm young, you're old. is that a problem? no, no, no. [ laughter ] but i go i'm going to bid on that. she goes great. i might go up to 20 k. 20 large. i go, shh, don't worry about it, just buckle up. so i have my little paddle. and sean's like all right, the mccartney tickets. and i go like this. i go, i get my paddle. starting 50 grand. i go, huh? [ laughter ] what did you say?

it was noisy. and then he goes 50. i go no, no, no. don't you start at 1 and then you go up? i go -- that's my top. and he goes, 50. then he goes 60, 70. 80, spade? we're back to spade? [ laughter ] she's sort of less turned on at this point because she sees me freaking out. i had this big asap rocky thing going for a second. now i'm like woody allen. [ laughter ] i go no, no, no. i don't -- then i see dicaprio like who's the cheapskate? everyone's craning around. 80. >> jimmy: oh, you did? >> i go 80. then they go 90. 100. back to me. i go, 100,000? meanwhile, i'm like what are those tickets, $600 face value? so i go -- and i see charlize looking over. and i go [ bleep ]. so i go -- and then she -- and i go, well, 100. okay. obviously not happy at all about the charity or anything.

uh-huh. and then i'm looking to see if my show got picked up. i'm looking at my phone going -- [ laughter ] oh, my god. and then they pull the full dipsy doodle which i've never seen anything. 125 over there? i go please, please, anyone. you rich mother f-ers save me. and they go 125. and sean goes, spade 125? i go -- no, no, no. that's not how it works. i'm the 100 guy. [ laughter ] someone has to beat me. come on. what a trick. everyone's like spade, spade -- >> jimmy: oh, no. >> 125. >> jimmy: you paid it? >> yeah. is that unreal? >> jimmy: you know what? [ applause ] >> so tragic. i was literally quivering. and then shoop, a team of like nine people, sign here, press hard, four copies, carbon copy. >> jimmy: they want it right away. >> they just get it right away. and they scram while you're still like euphoric. >> jimmy: but the good news is you are a hero to the people of haiti. i'm sure there are probably billboards around

port-au-prince. [ applause ] >> this money i get for this show, 400 or whatever, is the final payment. >> jimmy: it's the final payment. >> david spade is here. his show is called "the mayor." we'll be right back. during our made to move 2017 clearance event, you can do endless online research. or, you can take advantage of our best offer ever on an xt5. don't wait. our 2017 models will be moving fast. you can drive a car... or you can drive a cadillac. come in now before the end of our made to move 2017 clearance event and leave with the perfect cadillac xt5 for your next adventure. choose a low mileage lease on this xt5 for around $339 per month.

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>> jimmy: hi. we're back with david spade, who has a show coming to abc next month. the show is called "the mayor." are you the mayor on the show? >> i am a mayor. like it starts out that i'm a mayor and there's a kid brandon hall. he's a rapper. and in the first episode he's just trying to -- he wants to promote his mix tape. it's sort of an urban city. so he thinks he'll run and just talk about his mix tape and promote it. but he doesn't want to be mayor but he does it for press. and then because everyone relates to him and not me they vote for him and they boot me out. >> jimmy: oh, so you are the hillary clinton of this show. [ laughter ] >> yeah. so i was sort of just done there. but then they -- so now i'm like the bad guy. now he's trying to make the city better and i'm the guy trying to make it worse. >> jimmy: i like that. so did that mean you had to work all summer to prepare this show? >> i did a little bit.

but i don't -- right now i'm sort of coming in and out and it's more their show. but it's pretty funny. we've done a few of them. i'm the white guy on it. >> jimmy: it's about time you played the white guy on a show. [ laughter ] >> yeah, it's funny because whitey needs a break. >> jimmy: there are just no good roles for white guys. >> i'm out there struggling. [ laughter ] but i went -- >> jimmy: it was your haiti karma that really -- >> i know. i'm old and white and like i'm in the worst scenario. but i did go -- i've been going to the doctor a lot, which is awesome. >> jimmy: you have? why? >> just problems. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> no, no. i remember i was getting fat once. and you know -- >> jimmy: when was this? >> this was a while ago. but i look great now. listen. >> jimmy: you do. [ applause ] >> and i know -- no. i'm an not a 10, jimmy. i'm a 6 or a 7.

i read the internet. [ laughter ] i'm more personality driven. but when i -- i was gaining weight. i didn't know it once. and we were doing "grown-ups 2." oh, a couple people remember? [ applause ] they have to give you -- send you to the doctor when you get a physical for the movie, like a football player or something. >> jimmy: oh, right. >> but these are like fake i thought. you go in there and blah, blah, you tell the guy. so i go i'm here for my physical. anyway, you want to eyeball me? all good? and he goes, sit down, let's get the test. i go, you really want to do this? and he goes, yeah. i'm in the movie. >> jimmy: yeah, usually it's a formality kind of thing. >> and he goes, yeah. how much do you weigh? i don't know. i always weigh about 145. he goes, mm. i go what's that face? he goes, let's jump on the scale, bud. wait. i go, adam sandler's going to hear about this. [ laughter ] always use adam. always. he goes, oh, i'm willing to risk it. so i get up on the scale, which is one of these old clanky ones.

you know in a doctor's office it's like a big chunk for 100 pounds. i go do these even work? i go, all right. and i go guess what? i weigh 145. i put the big chunker like this. i'm going to stand up. on 100. and then the top one it goes along, you know. i put that on 45. and i go, watch this. and then i go -- pop the shoes off, of course. and i go -- and i get up. and it goes chang! and i go -- sort of scared everyone in the office. [ laughter ] and then he goes, step off. and i go -- what's with this thing of course. then he puts the big chunk to 150. kadij. no, no. he puts the other one to zero. he's like try again. i get a few quarters out. socks come off. then i get on. and the humiliating ka-ka-ka-ka. ka-ka-ka-ka -- arm hurts, you know.

[ laughter ] then at the end it goes -- i go, okay, okay. yeah. i had gained 20 pounds. 165. did not know it. i hide it. [ laughter ] i did not know it. it and it's not like girls, gain it in their boobs. i did not gain it in my wiener. [ laughter ] and if that happened with guys that would be so great. i'd be going to taco bell, going circles in the drive-thru. i see chris rock on the set. and i go, can you believe i gained 20 pounds? he goes, "yeah." [ laughter ] what do you mean? he goes, "spade, you were getting in a val kilmer area." when he's on the beach? he goes, mm-hmm. people are whispering. so i think it's just a -- >> jimmy: it's good to have a friend like that. >> he's a great guy. really gives it to me. >> jimmy: after it's happened. and there's nothing you can do about it. >> and then i'm lumpy on "grown-ups." because we don't work out. i'm not like the rock getting up at 3:00 a.m. to work out every day. >> jimmy: i disagree. i think you are a lot like -- >> well, now i am. [ laughter ] [ applause ]

>> jimmy: your body is irresistible. it's very good to see you. the show is called "the mayor." it premieres october 3rd. [ cheers and applause ] and you can see david live with dennis miller on november 3rd at the winstar casino in thackerville, oklahoma. >> that's right. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with abbi jacobson and ilana glazer. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when i look at you, i look back on my life and i know what it was for. what if i struggled...

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choose the cleaner, better tasting world of brita. choose the filtered life. ♪ ♪ when does a business trip really start? ♪ ♪ the world is yours, with platinum. backed by the service and security of american express. the world is yours, with platinum. politicians playing gameston while south jersey gets short changed? then vote fran grenier. think it's time we had a regular guy, not a lifelong politician? that's fran grenier. looking for a fighter to take on the tax hikes and job killing regulations? elect fran grenier.

want a leader who'll actually stand up for south jersey schools and communities? if you answered yes to any of these questions, there's only one way: fran grenier. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, look at that beautiful stage. still to come music from khalid. eight years ago our next guests started with a very funny web series that turned into a very funny tv show, which is now in its fourth season. so dreams really do come true, kids. "broad city" returns to comedy central wednesday night at 10:30. please say hello to abbi jacobson and ilana glazer. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, ladies. >> hi.

jrmt y >> jimmy: you look great. you really look like you've grown up. how are things going? >> we're really old now. >> jimmy: you're elderly women now. things are good? everything's solid, i hope? >> you know, today was a great day. >> jimmy: what happened today? >> we had a crazy day today. >> okay. we met some like precious older jewish men. and one of them was larry king. [ laughter ] and he fell in love with this queen. in the middle of the interview -- he was asking me about like gymnastics and dance. and then he's like, yeah, yeah, but you, to abbi. you're the sensual one. >> jimmy: larry king said that? >> sensual. like it was sensual of him to say. >> jimmy: the sensual one. >> i was wearing a turtleneck. [ laughter ] >> and yet your sensuality punched right through. >> listen, i take it where i can get it. >> jimmy: larry's half turtle. so that's the sort of thing that turns him on. [ laughter ] >> you know, i should have known. i should have known going in. i was asking for it. >> jimmy: his mother was a turtle. yeah. that's true.

>> a jewish turtle. >> jimmy: this new season of the show. it's been -- how long has it been since the last season of the show? >> it's been -- larry told us 17 months. i never counted the months. >> jimmy: that seems like a really -- is this pot-related, the reason it took so long? [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> you know, part of it was like our show feels like this summer show because we're always sweaty and we're always playing on the summer vibe. >> jimmy: yeah. that's true. >> and we wanted to have this winter story because new york in the winter is such a different city than in the summer. and yeah, and we just did a couple other projects. we each did a movie. >> jimmy: so there was no -- you weren't dragging. it was intentional. >> it was intentional. and yeah, we had a break in the -- we wrote it all and we had a break and then we had an opportunity to rewrite. >> jimmy: i see. you guys have great guest stars. and i think what makes them great is sometimes very surprising to me the people that -- because if you've not seen the show it's a crazy show. and some of the people that are

on the show do not belong on the show. and then they wind up -- like kelly ripa, for instance, had an unbelievable episode. do you have that this season? >> everybody feels very fitting. but the person that is the most surprising is shania twain. >> jimmy: shania twain is a guest star on the show. >> shania twain does comedy for us. >> we originally made a joke because i lie that i'm training shania twain. it sounds like training. and that was a joke from season 1. >> she's like twain -- whatever. >> train -- yeah. exactly what you did. and then we got her on the show this season and she's so funny. >> hysterical. that was the unexpected one. but everyone else this year, we had incredible people -- >> jimmy: who else is on? >> wanda sykes was incredible. >> jimmy: she's great. >> jane curtin. >> jimmy: wow, jane curtin is on the show. >> kerry gilpin. from "frasier." roz from "frasier."

>> rupaul. >> fran drescher. >> jimmy: wow. you've got the nanny. you've got rupaul. who was the most fun -- >> steve buscemi. >> jimmy: yeah, it's buscemi. people say buscemi. he was very claes to ear to me buscemi. i think he's okay either way. you had -- i assume that some of them are more fun than others. who was the most and who was the least fun? >> it wasn't even like -- it wasn't even more fun or like there are winners and losers. but it was like rupaul is an unbelievable divine soul. >> jimmy: rupaul is? really? >> rupaul -- [ applause ] >> wait until you see that queen on this show. >> i'm not in any scenes with rupaul, unfortunately. >> jimmy: oh. >> but i met her, you know, on set. and in between all the scenes that rupaul -- you know, there's a couple. it's a restaurant scenes. he does -- he is obsessed and

has created this game -- wait. >> dirty -- >> yeah. i almost said sexy charades. >> jimmy: dirty charades. now, you guys mentioned this to one of our producers. will you demonstrate the game? because i'm curious as to how it goes. i don't know anything. all i know is we have a bowl with -- >> so it's like charades. >> jimmy: okay. >> but dirty. so you have to take popular names of films or tv shows. like okay. so i watched out here coming to l.a. i watched "the bridges of madison county." and it would be "the bulges of madison county." >> jimmy: not the bitches of madison county. >> ooh. >> jimmy: see, i would be good at this. >> can i tell you mine, jimmy? because it's so bad. >> jay: yea >> jimmy: yeah. >> instead of "slum dog millionaire" [ bleep ] dog millionaire. >> jimmy: that is a good one. it will be bleeped out at home but people are definitely shocked. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you want to try one? so you have to act out -- you have to take it a step farther

and make it into a pun and act it out. >> we can't talk. >> we can talk, you can't. >> jimmy: we guess. >> film. movie. >> jimmy: what is, that movie or -- >> tv show. come on, jimmy. >> jimmy: this is tv. >> first word. i don't know. me. abbi. ilana. >> jimmy: the audience. a group. people. >> persons. >> jimmy: humans. uh. us. all. all. everyone? >> okay. >> jimmy: everyone. oh, i think i know it already. everyone loves. raymond's butthole. [ laughter ] >> no. second word is -- everybody [ bleep ] raymond. >> yes. [ applause ] >> i was watching rupaul, he

basically just did a lot to me. >> jimmy: i hope he boxes that up and makes it a board game because that's really terrific. >> i apologize, guys. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. the season 4 premiere of "broad city" wednesday night at 10:30 on comedy central. [ cheers and applause ] abbi jacobson and ilana glazer, everybody. we'll be right back with khalid. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank david spade. i want to thank abbi and ilana. i want to apologize to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, here with the song "young dumb and broke" from his album "american teen," khalid! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ so you're still thinking of me just like i know ♪

♪ you should i cannot give you everything you know ♪ ♪ i wish i could i'm so high at the moment i'm so caught up in this yeah we're just ♪ ♪ young dumb and broke but we still got love to give ♪ ♪ while we're young dumb young young dumb and broke young dumb ♪ ♪ young young dumb and broke young dumb young young dumb and broke ♪ ♪ young dumb broke high school kids yada-dada-dada-dada yada-dad-ada-dada ♪ ♪ yada-dada-dada-dada young dumb broke high school kids we have so much in common ♪ ♪ we argue all the time you always say i'm wrong

i'm pretty sure i'm right what's fun about commitment ♪ ♪ when we have ♪ our life to live yeah we're just young dumb and broke but we still got ♪ ♪ love to give while we're young dumb young young dumb and broke young dumb young ♪ ♪ young dumb and broke young dumb young young dumb and broke young dumb broke ♪ ♪ high school kids yada-dada-dada-dada yada-dada-dada-da ♪ ♪ yada-dada-dada-dada young dumb broke high school kids jump and we think ♪ ♪ do it all in the game of love love run into sin ♪ ♪ do it all in the name of fun fun whoa oh oh i'm so high ♪

♪ at the moment i'm so caught up in this yeah we're just young dumb and broke ♪ ♪ but we still got love to give while we're young dumb young young dumb and broke ♪ ♪ young dumb young young dumb and broke young dumb young young dumb and broke ♪ ♪ young dumb broke high school kids yada-dada-dada-dada yada-dada-dada-da ♪ ♪ yada-dada-dada-dada young dumb broke high school kids yada-dada-dada-dada ♪ ♪ yada-dada-dada-da yada-dada-dada-dada young dumb broke high school kids ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." >> tonight, paradise lost. the caribbean islands ravaged by hurricane irma. the category 5 monster destroying thousands of buildings and homes. now the newest tool in search and rescue, drones, offering more than just eyes in the sky. tying safety lines in floods. how this high-flying tech could save lives in florida as irma approaches. plus -- ♪ she give me money -- fake shoes. they might look like kanye's yeezies but these shoes have no sole. inside the world of counterfeit footwear. gold digger's dream. but it's not a victimless crime. >> it's a big business that's controlled like criminals. >> we're on a raid with lapd.