s "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, elizabeth banks, from "the crown," matt smith, jake byrd at a roy moore rally, and comedian chris laker. and now, for the most part, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. hi. very kind. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching russ thanks to all of you for coming.

very nice. i tell you -- i had an intere so i woke up. i wrestled the kids. i took a shower. i drove into work. i sat dune on my desk. somehow found myself in a twitter war with roy moore. [ laughter ] running for senate in alabama even though multiple women accused him of hitting on them, groping them, et cetera, before they were 18 years old? roy moore is not happy with me. what happened was they had a rally for roy moore at a church in theodore, alabama. roy is running against someone as far as i know hasn't been accused of child molesting, doug jones. the election is decemb according to new polls they released this week roy moore leads doug jones by 5 or 6 points which doesn't say a lot for doug. even thoore was reportedly so creepy around young girls, he was banned from the mall in gadston, alabama. imagine getting banned from the mall. no hot dog on a sticfor you. [ laugthey had a rally for roy. a number of his supporters were there and one of them just happened to be our friend jake byrd, who jake byrd is a characte gump-like knack for showing up at all the big events.

if you're not familiar with his work, this is jake at a donald trump rally in dallas in 2015. >> by the way, can you see in the back, they have the best view, can you see it's really my hair? >> yes! yes! >> jimmy: so he's very passionate. [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jake got on a plane and went to alabama last night and apparently there was an incident that resulted in him getting kicked out of the rally. we'll show you all the footage of that later. apparently the commotion touched a nerve because today roy moore lashed out at me. jimmy kimmel, if you want to mock our christian values, come down here to alabama and do it man to man. i responded and he responded back and i responded again, it's all on twitter. the bottom line is this. i accept the invitation. i will come down there. [ cheers and applause ] what i'm going to do is -- i think you're going to like this, roy. i'm going to come to gadston, alabama, with a team of high

school cheerleaders, okay? [ laughter ] we'll meet you at the mall. don't worry, i can get you in. [ laughter ] if when the girls and i show u behave, if you can somehow ma your little cowboy pants -- when those nubile cheerleaders come bounding in, we'll sit down at the food court over panda express and talk about christian values. i don't know if it doesn't fit your stereotype but i happen to be a christian too. i made my first holy communion, i was confirmed, i pray, i support my church, one of my closest friends is a priest, i baptized my children. christian is actually my middle name. i know that's shocking but it's true. if you're open to it, when we sit down, i will share with you what i learned at my church. at my church, forcing yourself on underaged girls is a no-no. [ laughter ] some even consider it to be a sin. [ cheers and applause ] not thse. allegedly.e encourag for forgiveness for the sin. not to call the women you liars and

damage them even more. maybe your church is different, i don't know, let's figure it together, i'll be happy to talk it through. i'd gladly sit down to interview you about it. maybe you say come to alabama and do it man to man, maybe you're challenging me to a fight, which is kind of what it sounds like. if you are, i accept, by the way. i accept that invitation. [ cheers and applause ] there is no one i would love to fight more than you. i will put my christian values aside just for you and for that fight. if you are challenging me to a fight, here's what we'll do. let's find a place to do it. i'll wear a girl scout uniform so you can have something to get excited about. [ laughter ] and the winner, whoever wins the fight, will give all the money we charge for the tickets to charity. my charity will be the women who came forward to say you molested them, okay? [ cheers and applause ] all right, tough guy with your little pistol? roy moore is never -- he's too scared to even debate the guy he's running against, doug jones.

with me he wants to go man to man. maybe if he went man to man instead of man to little girl you wouldn't be in this situation. allegedly. allegedly. [ applause ] i feel sorry for the people in alabama. i go online, people posting things like this about alabama. they falsely accuse jesus, vote roy moore. yes, that is completely crazy. but not ev su people -- i remember living in arizona, okay. maybe, i don't know, just clapping. i lived in arizona in the '80s when ed mecham was elected governor. he was a nut, he would have fit right in with these guys, he won with 40% of the vote. i was so embarrassed to be from there, to be from the state he was governor of, i felt i had to explain myself to everyone. i imagine that's how a lot of if you d that feeling, here in hollywood we don't hate alabama, we love alaba much we sent reese witherspoon you, okay? [ laughter ] we just don't like alleged childe your way clear to not electing one to the senate of the united states of america. that's all. that seems reasonable, right? [ cheers and applause ]

by the way, i understand if you don't -- if you're a republican, you don't want to vote for a democrat. just don't vote, then. you'll feel better about yourself. so later on, we will have all of jake byrd's exclusive report from alabama and you can see for yourself what roy moore got all up about. meanwhile, at the white house tonight,t, president t wife muldavia took part in the lighti we >>8, 7, 2, 1. >> good job. good job. that's not festive at all. this is good. i showed this on jake tapper's show on cnn today. you don't know if that was real or not, do you? senator lindsey graham from south carolina has been one of the most vocal critics from the republican party of president trump. he didn't even vote for president trump, he seems to be turning around he's on cnn today to defend the president

against those who question his mental health. >> you know what concerns me about the american press, this endless attempt to label the guy as some kind of kook not fit to be president. he did win by the way. >> that's what lindsey graham said today. this is what lindsay graham said about trump last year. >> i think he's a kook i think he's unfit for office. >> these guys can't even agree with themselves any more. speaking of crazies. kim jong-un is riding high and mighty right about now. you see the pictures of him celebratin north korea launched a missile. looks like they can reach any spot in the united states. kim jong-un celebrated with a smoke, a cigarette, he's got his guys. this is the missile i want to show you, it's amazing how beautiful, how many stars you can see when your country has no electricity. [ laughter ] but kim jong-un was pleased as punch. looks like he just won a round of candyland after he ate all the on or about pieces.

here he is, a regular don draper. oh, you'd be happy too if you got a great black friday deal on plus-size ladies' pea coat at ross. he looks so different. remember when he was just a kid on the news all the time? [ laughter ] yeah, so cute back then. and he's still cute even though he wants to kill us. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: speaking of cute congratulations to kellyanne conway, who's been selected to be president trump's new opioid czar. for real. earlier this year president trump declared opioids to be a national emergency, so he allocated $12 million to fight them for the whole country. that's by the way -- he spent $80 million this year on golf. so he is serious about this. kellyanne conway has no mental health or recovery background or addiction specialty that would make her qualified to address this, which is a huge national health crisis. naturally trump was like, great, you're in. you're in charge. [ laughter ] we are lucky enough to have

kellyanne live with us to talk about her new position. kellyanne, can you hear us? >> hi there, jimmy, hi. >> jimmy: hi there, congratulation on this your new appointment, how does it feel toyou think it feels, >> jimmy: i honestly have no idea how it feels. >> well, i'll tell you how it feels. it feels fantastic. >> jimmy: oh, that's -- hey, wait a minute. are those -- kellyanne, are you eating opioids right now? >> i'm eating opioids. i'm the opioid czar. welcome to "dancing with the czar." ♪ >> jimmy: you can't eat all those. those are narcotics. you can't eat those. >> i'm not a marcotic, you're a marcotic -- tic -- tic -- >> jimmy: kellyanne? kellyanne? are you okay? >> i'm coke-kay, moke-kay -- it's fake news, llyanne? up right . >> jimmy: you know what, we're going to -- oh, no. that's terrible.all right, i hope

she's -- oh, when we come we'llhow you the reason for all the tumult in alabama tonight. >> a man who appeared to be an overzealous roy moore supporter turned out to be a fictional character from the "jimmy kimmel live" show. >> the character named jake byrd was escorted out of that rally, what "jimmy kimmel live" plans my: well, moments from now that will be seen. a special report from maith jake byrd, so stick around. give joy, get joy - at kohl's! and get kohl's cash for you! give joy with fine fragrances an american girl doll or diamond jewelry kohl's cash! h for you!arting thurs. give joy, get joy at kohl's! ( ♪♪ ) when it comes to heartburn

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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. the way. first as i mentioned, last night in alabama there was a rally for senate hopeful roy moore, for

some reason they hel church, maybe they were hoping he would repent, i don't know why. on hand to lenned his support and file this report friend jake byrd who really likes roy moore a lot. >> yeah! honk if you don't believe women. hey, jake byrd here,abama with the l giving judge roy moore the business. come on two, four, six, eight, we don't care what age he dates!ro i'm at the mall. roy moore, roy moore! ♪ >> i mean, if anybody is stupid enough to where they bel these lies, they deserve the democrat. and the rhinos. >> exactly, exactly, the lyi liberal media. who'd you rather have, roy, warts and all, sexual predator, whatever, or a democrat? >> i don't want no democrat. >> okay. so we'll g >> h >>lous.

this is washington, d.c., this is everywher we're sick of it. >> we know big government telling us we can't date little people. this lady is right, which is rare, because women have been liars. okay? my mom gave my seventh grade teacher permission to date me. that turned out pretty good. judge roy moore. up top. #moretocome. i worked at the mall back during those roy moore days, okay? i was in miller's sweating, said you got to hide me, the nazi gazpacho security guards were after him. i put him in a changing room. a few minutes later i fitted him with a nice pair of cowardurd and a nice top. he couldn't be nicer. now, the judge would come into the movie theater, couldn't be nicer. he would order himself a popcorn. always make sure whatever candy

he got for his date wouldn't get caught in their braces, complete gentleman, he's got my vote. i don't care what he did in that theater. >> he's got my vote as well, too. >> he's not a democrat. >> this was -- i mean, this was before judge roy moore was even an elected official. >> yeah, right. he wasn't an elected official when he was doing that stuff. >> selves an assistant d.a. >> it shouldn't count. >> no, it doesn't. >> we're not going to elect the democrat. >> that's it. >> we do not care what you did, as long as you're not a democrat. >> yep. >> this is what i'm getting out of it. they think everybody in alabama is stupid. for them to come up with that stuff and think we going to believe it. >> why should we believe women? why should we believe those women? >> i'm a woman. >> we don't believe her. [ laughter ] there ain't no way that a man would fool with me and i wouldn't let him -- >> that's not true, that's not true. >> yes, it is. >> give me two wine coolers and see where this goes. >> i don't drink wine. >> they're not for you.

>> listen i ain't never drank, smoked, fooled with narcotics. or had an affair. i'm a christian. >> you know if you're 140 years younger, roy moore would be all over you. >> check this out roy! >> not only am i by the democrats who want to push a liberal agenda, i'm being opposed by the washington establishment who don't want to change what anything's going on. >> exactly!bian, gay, bisexual, transgender who want to change our culture. >> yes, yes! >> never once has anyone stated anything like has occurred in the last three and a half weeks. >> but the whole town, all the girls are lying? >> five statewide -- >> why would they lie? >> and three countywide campaigns.

>> we can stop and it get them out? >> come on, gut out of here, we're here for the judge, we're here for the judge! he's a man's man! the judge is a man's man! you got this, judge, you got this. don't listen to them! he's a man's man! is that the face of a molester? >> i would remind everyone again that the next one who makes disturbance will be turned over to the police. >> no more sissies! >> i would repeal obamacare. i would repeal it tomorrow. transgender troops, he favors. and he opposes trump's ban on number one fan! you' your number one fan. you know what, because i believe in the judge. and i don't believe in the ladies who lie. does that look like the face of someone who hits on teenage girls? no. that's a man's man.

that's an american right there. thank you, judge. >> thank you. >> this man repeatedly interrupted individual interviews. he was asked to leave after he stood up and shouted, does that look like someone who hits on >> a moore supporter who announced he was the former judge's number one fan was also removed. >> i was just trying to let the judge know he's a man's man. and it took -- everyone freaked, they freaked. thks for underst looks like i got a little too loud weenage girls don't worry, roy, you still got my support vote! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well done. jake byrd, everyone. sorry they didn't appreciate your enthusiasm. all right. we got a good show tonight. from "the crown," matt smith is here. chris laker is with us. we'll be right back with [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you duracell.t ♪ - ♪ talking sweet and looking fine. - ♪ tis' the season ♪ - ♪ to be jolly. fa la la la la... ♪ - ♪ oohh... ♪ ♪ ♪ what fun it is to ride and sin♪ g song ♪ it's just a sweebaby. ♪ ♪ it's time for tha back holla hey... ♪ hurry in to old navy for up to 75% off the entire store. get last minute gifts for just 3, 4, and 5 buck inside the rack houses of jim beam, every barrel is aged four long years, for a fuller smoother flavor. our history is made from the inside. how will you make yours?

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>> jimmy: hi, there. netflix matthe plays prinny man you can setage th atlanta next month chris laker is here. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night we close out the

week with the director and cast of a very small independent film called "star wars: the last jedi." [ cheers and applause ] we'll be joined by mark hamill, adam driver, daisy ridley, john boyega, oscar isaac, andy serkis, gwendoli kelly marie tran, laura dern, rian johnson, and even bb a new show tomorrow night. the force will be with us. why not you? [ cheers and applause ] and i want to mention -- this is very important. for those of you who are in the las vegas area our friends the killers and imagine dragons are the main events for the vegas strong benefit concert tomorrow night. this concert helps those impacted by the tragedy in las vegas on october 1st. the show is at t-mobile arena. tickets are still available, so get those and go, it will be fun and it's for a ver [ ch] our first guest is a very talented actor and director who is a producer too and star of the new movie "pitch perfect 3." >> they were world champions. the wingest acapella group of

all time. >> a group of not-men who somehow managed to win at something that didn't have to do wiu. ary. >> we're calling security, and i care mace. >> we're going to be clinging do you like mom jeans to a camel toe. >> that's right! >> jimmy: pitch perfect 3" opens december 22nd. please welcome elizabeth banks! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: by the way, before we get into this, my mother, i want you to know -- maybe the biggest "pitch perfect" fan in the world. >> a big fan, i love her for that. >> jimmy: we hate her for it, not that we didn't love the movie but she never stops. i mean, with the singing and the watching. >> she's going to love this one too, then. >> jimmy: she's excited for it. >> need premiere tickets? >> jimmy: yeah, sure work, you allow her at the premiere? >> is she going to act like -- >> jimmy: yes, whatever's wad, she's going to act like it, like

jake byrd at a roy moore rally. the premise is again her "star wars" trilogy, it really is, you guys -- not you guys but the a capella uso tour. >> yes, formerly of bart, now of life, the bellas. a uso tour, which i didn't direct this movie but i'm the producer which means i'm responsible for figuring out what the story's going to be. >> jimmy: right. >> and in 2015, i went on a uso tour with the joint chief of staff general dunford. >> jimmy: where did you go? >> afghanistan, bahrain, italy, djibouti, africa, and germany. >> jimmy: did you enjoy that trip? >> it was life-changing, it was amazing. >> jimmy: really? in what ways -- >> it was so fun. you get to be with our troops. we're in one of the longest wars in american history. >> jimmy: right. >> i think it's really important -- >> jimmy: ee you, right?t

yourself than going over there. >> i felt like it was the least i could do as an american citizen. >> jimmy: yeah. >> go and especially at the holidays, you know they're not going to get to be w so we get to bring a little bit of american fun over to them. >> jimmy: what did you do? who'd you go with >> chr >> jimmy: oh, >> i was sort of the host of the show with my fri i was meant to go with john michae that clip with me, john and gail host the uso. at the last minute he couldn't go. i brought david -- >> jimmy: because he doesn't love america a no, i think he got a movie job. >> jimmy: i see, okay. >> i thought long and hard about who i could bring that could kind of hang and do -- frankly like parlor tricks. david can solve a rubik's cube in 60 seconds and does magic a he's really funny, standup comedian. >> jimmy: this is what he did for the troops? >> yes. >> jimmy: solved the rubik's cube? >> in 60 seconds. >> jimmy: did they beat him up or let him get away with it? >> another thing -- obviously the most fun you have is you get to interact and understand how the troops -- oh, yeah. >> jimmy:

>> well, okay. so -- yeah. our guys, they're big guys. yeah, sure. >> and they really like to work out. i mean, this is in -- i believe this is in djibouti. jimmy: no, djibouti's a little bit lower. [ laughter ] >> djibouti. >>we'll go over it. >> okay. and we started after a while, we met so many guys that were huge, we started -- our parlor trick became guessing how much they could bench press based on the size of their pecs. i could tellwas a 280 and somebody who was a 420. >> jimmy: how would you eval them? >> that guy's well over 300. >> jimmy: would you have them take off their shirts and then uate? >> youi mean, no offense, but like -- you know. [ laughter ]ook like the hulk. yo it's amazing. >> jimmy: can you tees of people what they can or can youto h bit. what are you, under 200 for sure. >> jimmy: i don't even -- i just do the

>> the nine-pound bar. >> jimmy: you put things on i didn't realize that. it should come with them, it's really r okay, so you go over there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you ever feel like you were in danger? >> yeah, no, we were tely -- we were traveling -- >> jimmy: besides him dropping you will on your head? >> we were traveling with the highest-ranking military official in the united states. so we had a lot of security. we had a c-17 plane fly behind air force two that we were on. and travel with us. and when we got to afghanistan, they told us et hit by like missiles. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> i mean, just hearing that sentence we were like, what? what are we doing? and they do this like spin thing with the 747. it's not like we're on some little plane. they spin down and land. and then when you take off, it's like a rocket. like they want to get high as fast as possible. so it's going to be a quick up. and no joke, it's as if this

seat like went backwards and we were like, whoa! okay, we are going. immy: diidn't get sick. bu that's pretty crazy. >> the scariest thing that happened was when we got to afghanistan i forgot to turn my phone off. me to afghanistan on md the hat i went to afghanistan. i was like, oh, no! that was the thing >> jimmy: i would have been scared of the roaming charges. [ laughter ] >> yeah, right. but also -- impressive that i had coverage. >> jimmy: we're going to circle back to you inviting my mother the premiere because i'll get a phone call tonight. >> it will happen. >> jimmy: very good h. "pitch perfect 3" opens december 22nd. we'll be right back! [ cheers and app ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the makers of glade limited edition fragrances.

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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. matt smith and chris laker are on the way.

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>> jimmy: hi, we're back. still to come, comedian chris laker. our next guest plays queen elizabeth's husband, a prince

named philip, on the golden globe-winning netflix series, "the crown." season 2 will be available for binge-watching starting december 8th. please welcome his royal highness, matt smith. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know, i was thinking about you today. and i was wondering if people ask you about like the royal wedding. about harry and meghan markle and whatever. >> all the time. >> jimmy: but you don't -- you're not a member of the royal family, right? >> not officially. >> jimmy: not officially. >> unofficially. >> jimmy: not in way so you would realistically have no insight into that situation. >> no. i don't. >> jimmy: do you know prince harry? >> i've met him twice. i prdi polo. and he played polo, then i threw -- was the guy afterwards that went up and presented the >> jimmy: what award did he get, best prince? >> yeah, best prince. coolest prince on the coolest

horse. and they won! >> jimmy: sure, they got to win, right? >> exactly. >> jimmy: can't knock the prince off a horse. >> he's a very charming, lovely man. >> jimmy: he as nice guy. >> he is, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: prince philip is how years old? >> 96. >> jimmy: 96 yearsfore maybe, ye sadly not, no. it changes every two years. new cast. >> jimmy: do you know prince philip? >> no, i don't know. i'd really like to meet prince philip. >> jimmy: why haven't you met prince philip? >> he's too cool for school. he's an enigma, philip. >> jimmy: do prince philip and the queen watch the show? >> philip, no. the queen, maybe, yes. >> jimmy: how do you know he doesn't and she might? >> well, a friend of mine had dinner with the queen and the prince. it was about 80 of them there. >> jimmy: really, t.g.i. friday's? >> yeah exactly. [ laughter ] denny'ke the mozzarella sti >> he's the sort of man of>> jim he said that prince philip said,volvedis "crown" show? and he said, no, no, i'm not, i'm not.t course, t was the second

course, then the third course came out. by the end he thought, you know, actually, i'll ask him. and i'll see. he asked him. philip, hathe crown"? he turned around and went, "don't be ridiculous." >> jimmy: don't be ridiculous. he's not streaming? >> no, he doesn't have netflix. >> jimmy: maybe he doesn't have a netflix subscription. maybe somebody should send him one and that would cover it. i do know, because of this photograph, that you met prince >> charley boy, yeah. >> jimmy: and camilla. >> jimmy: his were? >> his he has fantastic sho on those pants. let's go over his outfit. >> he's wonderfully tailored, do you not think? >> jimmy: not wonderfully. >> i don't know about that. >> jimmy: why are there so much buckling going on? >> that very stylish sort of -- >> jimmy: he's reaching for a weapon it looks like here too. i would be a little worried if a guy did that. is that the prince thing to do? >> yeah, it is. >> jimmy: you pick things up from watching these guys? >> yeah, that's exactly what they do, put their hands in their pockets. >> jimmy: what is that? >> it looks kind of cool, it looks rock 'n' roll.

i can't get anything. >> jimmy: yes, most people have fake pockets. your pockets aren't even real. you've got to have that tailored. >> exactly. >> jimmy: even though it's the left hand, he doesn't have to shake people's hands? >> maybe. although he's very good at that as well. he's very, very -- >> jimmy: like that? that's how he does it? >> a nice royal shake. there's a royal wave. >> jimmy: don't you have to be good at that? >> you're meant to learn these things. the kind of wonderful thing about prince philip that is he's the kind of dissident. he's the one that doesn't really do anything. he's the outsider. >> jimmy: i see. >> he kind of just plays -- >> jimmy: you don't have to learn any of that stuff. >> not really, yeah. >> jimmy: will you go back home for the holidays? >> will for christmas. >> jimmy: what did you guys do? >> the local village pub. >> jimmy: what's the name? >> i shouldn't say where, should i? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: don't worry, they don't know when christmas is. >> it's new world psalms, have a

couple of pints with my mates, mulled wine and all that. do you have mulled wine here? >> jimmy: we don't have that, i don't know what you're saying to be honest. [ laughter ] >> so mulled wine. >> jimmy: >> mulled wine is wine that's put in a big urn then it's like cloves and whiskey and stuf >> jimmy: cl >> cloves. >> jimmy: they boil it. >> jimmy: they boil it? >> they boil it. is it good? >> well, yeah. it is. it gets you really pissed. >> jimmy: do they reduce it? is that why it's so -- >> yeah, it smells like christmas, the scent of christmas, it's marvelous. >> jimmy: the cloves smell like christmas. >> i think you'd like it. >> jimmy: i'll boil up some wine and we'll see. >> boil up some wine. >> jimmy: very nice having you here. have a great holiday. matt smith, everybody! "the crown" december 8th on netflix. be right back with chris laker!

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gentleman you are about to see on december 15th and 16t center stage theater in atlanta with the great mike vermiglia. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome chris laker! [ cheers and applause ] >> i am happy. [ scattered laughter ] i need to tell people that e my face

looks angry. strangers come up to me and tell me i look angry. which is v pproachable enough to tell me that. [ laughter ] people alsard ti figuring out my age because i apents. [ laughter ] last night i went out to dinner with my girlfriend. now i've been living with my girlfriend for like six years, no talk of marriage, i don't know, she hasn't brought it up. and i feel like it's more romantic to say, you're fr tim [ laughter ] she is jewish, i am not. i was raised catholic, which is the nicest way i can think of saying, i'm not catholic. ] they make it too easy to get out of being catholic, that's their fault. you don't show up for like two weeks they're like, you're not ic here. jewish people don't doo matter

it's like the crips. my friend doesn't es and get this. if i get her pregnant, i just ther jewis [ laughter ] it's a lot of power to give me. it's a chosen baby.born with thousands of years of oppressionree trip to israel. [ laughter ] now i got to explain anti-semitism to my little jewish kid. i don't know how to do that.ing up at me. like, why don't people like us, dad? well, first of all, it's just you. laughter ] [ applause ] i am welcome everywhere!so we're out at this restaurant.e brou she insists on sitting with her back to the wall. i don't know why. but i'm like, okay, sit wherever you want, you're paying. [ laughter ] i don't like that she's paying.

it's embarrassing. i just don't have any money. [ laughter ] i used to have money. i used to be an accountant. i didn't look like this then. i looked like this on the inside. they found that out. i don't work there anymore. [ laughter ] i got fired, man. when i got fired, my boss told me it's because my performance had gotten poor, which as lie, it did not happen. my performance was always poor, it took them four years to figure it out. [ laughter ] some people take pride in a job well done. i was getting paid just as much as that dude. [ laughter ] so we're sitting there at the table. my girlfriend's back is to the wall. my back is to the waiter. the waiter comes up from behind me and says, can i help you ladies? [ laughter ] it's a mistake.

it's not a huge deal. except i heard pity in his voice. saw my back and thought, look at monster of a woman. [ laughter ] i'm going to make her feel like a real lady! it's just not a good idea to say, can i help you ladies? even if you just see me from the back.use think olit this [ laughter ] [ applause ] she votes green party. doesn't like gender-specific pronouns. and has so man recommendations. [ laughter ] i love all of you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very funny, thank you. chris laker, everybody! thanks to my guests, apologies to matt "nightline" is next. th for watching, good night! you re hair.

tonight, we're on the ground in russia. >> this is quite a show of force. >> when president vladimir putin has an iron grip on power. >> this is a risky thing you're about to go too. >> yeah it's russia. >> dan harris i with young peoplethe kremlin. >> is he trying to start a fight? >> yes. >> and the biker a for violenc in to heir president.

plus the alleged russian troll factory exposed. i'm from abc news in the united states. [ bleep ]. >> accused of raging a propaganda war in the u.s. >> and we travel into