ght ellen pompeo, jay pharoah this week in unnecessary censorship and music from elise trouw and now - with all seriousness - here's jimmy thank you for joining

us. the whole city called in drunk because the eagles had their first ever superbowl parade and no one was more fired up or dressed up than eagles center jason kelce. >> you know what i got to say to said we couldn't get it done what my man jay ajayi just said, [ bleep ] you! [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: that is the angriest man wearing sequins i've ever seen before. [ cheers and applause ] imagine what the speech would have been like if they lost. they had a parade in north korea

just had'd-the olympics kim jong-un staged a large parade and gate a speech his state of the un-ion a address. you think we go over the top with our state of the union wait until donald trump sees this. [ speaking foreign language ]. ha, ha, ha. that's his wife by the way a rare public appearance by his wife aren't they cute they even wear the same pea coat. anne tailor loft sells those. see melania it could be slightly worse. north coreoa is sending a delegation to pyeongchang led by kim jong-un's younger sister,

it's a big deal diplomatically, also be a big deal to explain what lunch is. the olympic games began with mixed doubles curling, starting off with whatever the opposite of a bang is. i was looking at the medals, they're different. why they would change these i don't know. these look like floor samples something you would buy at kohl's. this is very timely, this is probably bigger than the olympics. olympics come and go butte mo b emoji's touch us every day. the group that decide c which emoji get made, just unveiled

77, including weird feet, salt shaker, leg, that's a dna strand, when would that get used? maybe maury povich text you let you know who the father is. [ laughter ] they have bald heads, old heads, white hair, which is nice, this is very odd the senator for maine wrote a letter asking them to come up with a lobster emoji and they did. they came up with one so senator king took to twitter to celebration, great news, we're getting a lobster emoji thanks to unicode for recognizing the impact of the this critical crustacea n who said congress can't get anything done. looks like we're headed for second shut down.

the deadline is midnight tonight. yesterday senator agreed to a plan to fund the government to keep it open two years but today senator rand paul of kentucky decided to block the vote so this bill if passed will fund the government two years, cellphone contracts go longer than two years, why is the government making shorter commitments than verizon. today is another bad day for the stock market, dow is down more than a thousand points, second worse drop in history the first worst drop in history happened on monday. this is why i don't invest in stocks. i invest in relationships and emotionally i'm quite a bit richer for it. down market was also tough news for president trump. from time to time he likes to brag how well the stock market is doing. >> our stock market is at an all-time high. >> the dow jones industrial

average reached an all-time high. never, ever has it been so high. >> the stock market is at an all-time high. >> the stock market is at all-time high again i think that's 86 times since i got elected. >> the stock market just hit a record high. >> the stock market is at an all-time high. >> all-time high. >> all-time high. >> all-time high. >> all-time high. >> all-time high. >> all-time high, think of it, nobody ever talks about it. >> jimmy: i know you should bring it up once in a while maybe people will talk about it more. i'm sure he will make a speech saying he takes responsibilities for the plunges too. he's nothing if not measured fair. to state lawmakers proposed a

bill to make tide pods less appealing to kids, those are tide pods, they won't be as inclined to eat them, there's a thing called the tide pod challenge which has result in hundreds of cases of poisoning in hospitals around the country. teenagers have been going to the emergency room for doing this so state legislatures are asking each pod be individually wrapped with a warning label, i'll tell you right now, that's not going to do anything, the teens eating tide pods don't care about warning. and kids don't read. how about we make people less stupid. [ cheers and applause ] if we figure out a way to do that. and yes they should change the design on the tide pods so toddlers don't want to play with them and put them in their mouths, about if you're 15 years old intentionally eating detergent maybe it's for the

best [ laughter ] [ applause ] here in l.a. if you want people to stop eating tide pods just rename them gluten pods, will go right out the window. guillermo you and your son eating tide pods. >> never. >> jimmy: i heard your son had a conversation with you about your eating. >> yeah he told me papa i don't want to be fat like you. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet. in what context did he say this to you. >> on tuesday. >> jimmy: on tuesday? is it as he was going to bed. >> yeah i was putting him to bed and he said papa i don't want to be fat like you and all broken like you are. >> jimmy: what's that mean broken? >> well i hurt my back and then my knee and other knee, it's like papa, you too old. >> jimmy: and what did you say to him? >> i said look if you don't want to get fat stop eating doughnuts. >> jimmy: and has he stopped

eating doughnuts. >> no. >> jimmy: will you take him to see "peter rabbit" this weekend. >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: "peter rabbit" is based off is popular children's book, it's a family physicfilm. g rated movies don't usually get the red band treatment but tonight that changes for good. here's the exclusive never before seen red band trailer for "peter rabbit." ♪ >> hello sweeties. checking on your new neighbor? don't worry maybe he'll be a nice, normal man. >> you're mine now. >> you're looking at pure evil. hello. >> he's gotta go.

♪ >> i'm gonna fix it. ♪ >> jimmy: oh, my god, people's daughters going to be furious. we're going to take a break. when we come back controversial court ruling involving gays and cakes and unnecessary censorship so stick around. we'll be right back. >> announcer: abc's "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by -- , go, go, go! we can fit more!

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello and welcome back to the show everyone. ellen pompeo on the show and jay pharoah and musical guest elise trouw on the way first controversial decision from a court in kern county just north of us, the court ruled in favor of bakery that refused to make a cake in same-sex wedding because the owner said it denied her religious right to do so. this is one of their cakes, a real cake, it's easily the gayest cake i've seen in my life. and i've seen some gay cake. that cake, elton john was wearing that cake in 1986 [ cheers and applause ] doesn't make a lot of sense of as you probably notice these are first instance of bakery refusing to make a cake for same-sex wedding there's a case right now in the supreme court but the judge's ruling in this

case was interesting said the bakery would have vial ated if refuse to sell a cake already baked but not for baking it specifically for a same-sex m e marriage. joining me now p common restaurant dining experience to explain why this isn't right. here we go [ cheers and applause ] nd applause ] all right. let me tie myself up here. hello and welcome i'm jimmy, your waiter, your server, have you dined with us before. >> no. >> okay we have a few specials tonight before i list them i want to ask if anyone has food allergies? any dietary restrictions? are any of you gay? >> i'm gay.

>> so i should let you know you won't be enjoying our signature salad. >> sorry what? >> our salad chef today is tony and he believed homo sexuality is a sin so won't be creating any of the salads which my favorite is the walnut salad he is candies it, but he won't make a salad for you because it violated his religious beliefs however i can bring you a salad he made yesterday before he knew you were day. >> i don't want day old salad. >> all right well aren't you a picky lesbian. what can i get you sir. >> how about the lasagne. >> are you jewish? >> yeah.

>> sorry, not for you tonight i will bring the it casserole. >> no i will order it for her. >> we have a wiccan priestest that said won't allow men to order for women. i'll just bring the salmon. >> how about the steak. >> how dare you our chef is hindu, cows are sacred to him. you think he will commit blast femme because you want steak. >> but it is on the menu. >> it was a test. all you have jew, gay, cow murderer, get out of this restaurant. but come again soon. come on back in, guys. and scene. mooupz [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: what a great group to

work with. yeah you can go ahead. one more thing a tradition one court will ever overrule it's thursday nighttime to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it's this week in unnecessary censorship. >> we won our chance that's all i got to say. >> congratulations [ bleep ]. >> i think when you look at struggle in your life know it's opportunity for your [ bleep ] to grow. >> during this period they were screaming everything was [ bleep ] up. >> the new ice cream nor easter [ bleep ] that's pretty funny. >> you know what it's like nobody wants to [ bleep ] it's a precursor for the rest of your life. >> he's respectful for everybody listen he [ bleep ] me. [ bleep ] me respectfully never got a bad thing to say about it. >> you know [ bleep ]ing in space got to be fun. it's so much work and takes so

much preparation. >> his [ bleep ] sticking out. >> we're celebrating you on [ bleep ] week it all starts right now. >> sometimes there's so much crap out there it makes you lose hope so i'm going to bleep my [ bleep ] think being that. >> john sienna might come to your high school and [ bleep ] your [ bleep ]. >> no way! >> yes! >> all right we have a good show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] music from elise trouw, jay pharoah is here and we're right back with ellen pompeo! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by -- u by --

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there welcome back to the show. tonight from the upcoming movie from steven solderbergh, calls "unsane" the veriy funny jay pharoah is here and then - her album is titled - - "unraveling" - elise trouw from the mercedes-benz stage. she's great. you will like elise. - headed into nba all star weekend, we have an all-star lineup - with magic johnson, charles barkley, kyrie irving, super bowl mvp nick foles, oscar isaac, natalie portman, heather

graham, chef massimo bottura, angela bassett, plus music from kane brown, and monica and many, many, many, many more surprises. the translation for that is there's some guests we haven't booked yet. we have some empty spots. long before the color grey came in 50 different shades there was only one gray. that's dr. meredith, she is lead physician on the indestructible "grey's anatomy-- thursdays nights on abc- please welcome ellen pompeo. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm really well. you're talking about all my favorite things. >> jimmy: what are your favorite things. >> gays, cakes and doughnuts. >> jimmy: gays, cakes and

doughnuts, that covers it. >> yeah both of which i don't touch any more. >> jimmy: what about football, wait, which. >> the cake and doughnuts, i still occasionally rub a gay. >> jimmy: you have to it's good luck. i want to ask you about, because i know and your husband chris are both from massachusetts how you reacted to the super bowl on sunday, do you care? >> it was his birthday. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, yeah that's a double whammy isn't it. >> yeah but you know what i say, that's what they get for supporting giant cheato in charge that's karma for you belichick. >> jimmy: did they support him or did he decide they supported him. >> they didn't announce. >> jimmy: so you were running against the patriots. >> no i didn't say that. >> jimmy: oh, okay interesting so when you say it was his birthday it was actually the day of his birth. >> yes. >> jimmy: was there a party that day. >> yeah there was a super bowl slash party and by the time to

take the cake out it was becoming obvious it wasn't going in a good direction so was a somber version of happy birthday. >> jimmy: when did he get the cake. >> there was three minutes left it was pretty about aed. >> jimmy: guess he didn't make the right wish. that's terrible. >> i know. >> jimmy: the better news is you and your husband had a baby boy since last i seen you. [ cheers and applause ] >> we did. >> jimmy: this is a photo graph, they're wearing matching outfits. did you get them the matching outfits. >> no he did. that's eli christopher. and he buys all his clothes, chris does. what you can't see in that picture is i bought eli a gold chain to match his dad but can't see the chain. >> jimmy: weird for a patriots fan to name his kid eli. >> did you have to bring that

up, it was a whole thing, did we talk about this? >> jimmy: no little odd. >> yeah, every name i presented he didn't like. >> jimmy: i see. >> chris's last name is ivory it begins with a vowel and ends with a vowel so there aren't many first names that dplflow, didn't want another chris ivory so i wanted a different name, didn't want to go to typical grease ball names rocco. >> jimmy: why not. >> he didn't like those. so eli was literally the 75th name. and of course he said, you know, eli manning is the quarterback of the giants? right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was like, i can't, i somehow won. >> jimmy: now we see why his birthday went the way it did.

>> were you working on "grey's anatomy." >> no i didn't. you know what i did, i did michael rapport he does a podcast, it of he is such a character. >> jimmy: i run into him at the store and i said you ball buster. >> he's jealous. >> jimmy: of course he's jealous. >> and you're more handsome. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys, michael rapport, if you know who he is, you know what we're talking about here. but he let you talk or he talked the whole timeo? >> he did. he let me talk. >> jimmy: nice of him. he's very lucky to have you. last month made a stir with this interview how i became tvs $20 million woman this is like a

big, big deal [ cheers and applause ] i read this immediately upon seeing it and i think everybody was talking about this because it's rare that an actor will admit, will discuss their salary. >> for sure there's a couple things, i'm really grateful for couple reasons. i will say i have quite a big mouth and i'm honest to a fault which in print can get you in trouble sometimes when things are printed it's not in the same text, the same way you said it, i got myself in trouble in the past things i said. so i'm grateful it was taken in the right way. >> jimmy: were you nervous. >> i was. >> jimmy: so i said it and there's few day between saying it and being printed and -- >> a hundred times i called my publicist to see if it's okay. so i'm grateful that it was received in the way in which i

intended it to be. which was an an empowering story for women and to also be very honest about my faults and my short comings and because i think that there's a lot of blame, especially right now, people are blaming people, there's a lot of finger pointing. but there's less people owning up to their side of things and i wanted to sort of do a truthful interview and talk about my road to my own empowerment how i got there but also mistakes that i've made along the way. so i think that was all reflected well. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i have to say, jimmy, you know, the number of women that have come up to me since this has come out has been very moving to me. >> jimmy: really they approach you in everyone ande say glad you said what you said. >> yeah, today someone very close and special to me said that that article was really

impactful for me and moved me and helped me find my own power because as women it's not only what's done to us, or what's not given to us,s what don't we ask for, how much isn't given to us or is it that we don't ask. i think as much as we can point the finger at others and say you don't treat us fairly we also have to point the finger at ourselves and say did we ask, did we step up and have the gumption. >> jimmy: a huh you almost said balls. >> to ask what a man would. we have to own our part of it. sometimes we're too shy. too afraid to be seen as difficult to really speak our mind. so i'm grateful for all of it. >> jimmy: i think as an actor there's a certain amount of insecurity that goes with doing this for a living that maybe you feel like oh, i shouldn't be, because obviously whatever you make is a lot of money and you

compare it to people you grew up with and people you know and you go this is obscene really but then you realize but the company i work for is making this amount of money and my fellow actors are making this amount and i should make this amount. did you do that for yourself or in cooperation with your agent or really was it a personal decision? >> it was really between shonda and i. and the decision to keep the show going or not. because she moved to netflix. >> jimmy: right. >> so did i want to be involved in shot if she wasn't there. what did her move to netflix mean how present would she be. or wouldn't she be. so there was lot of conversations. i have two lawyers. one is a woman. >> jimmy: what's the other one? >> he's a gay. [ cheers and applause ] i love it.

but i'm just very lucky. i have a wonderful team of people. >> jimmy: and most importantly you got $20 million. >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] so worth it. >> i also want to say let's kiss the ring for a minute. >> jimmy: you're not wearing one. >> i am. not this ring. i think bog runs an amazing company. i think it all comes from the top down. i think that man is a class act and runs this company in a way that is just i'm really impressed by everything he does and i think the whole, it's reflective from the top down. >> jimmy: was this part of getting the $20 million that you had to say this about bob. >> yes, it's true, it all starts at the top and sets an example, i have to be nice to my kids because people are nice to me. >> jimmy: thank god for bob or

might not have your son. >> yes thank god for him. i'm grateful. >> jimmy: this show is so great. >> can you believe it. >> jimmy: "grey's anatomy" thursday nights on abc. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hi. i want you to pick a new truck for your mom or dad, knowing that they could possibly pass it down to you one day. cool but you should know that chevy silverado's are the most dependable, longest lasting full-size pickups on the road. which means that ford f-150s are not. which truck would you pick? the chevy the chevy the chevy boom get zero percent financing for seventy two months on this 2018 silverado all star. or a total value of over ninety-six hundred dollars when you finance with gm financial. find new roads at your local chevy dealer. a heart transplant... that's a whole different ballgame. i was in shock. i am very proud of the development of drugs that can prevent the rejection and prevent the recurrence

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welcome back jay pharoah and elise trouw is on their way but first volkswagen tiguan is big enough to fit everything in your life so we asked guillermo to test it out. >> i'm here to test the new volkswagen tiguan using a rubber duck. this might take a while. ♪ ♪ >> can we take a break? >> no!

♪ i got 4180 rubber duckies in there. i think i can fit one more. oh, no, i left my key in my other pants. >> the volkswagen tiguan the not-so-compact, compact suv. >> we'll be right back with jay pharoah. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ toward the metro area. eteor heads go, go, go, go, go! we can fit more! there's still more room! we gotta go. juicer! we don't have a juicer! the volkswagen tiguan. it fits everything you need,

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1, 2, 3, push! easy! easy! easy! (horn honking) alright! alright! we've all got places to go! we've all got places to go! washington crossing the delaware turnpike? surprising. what's not surprising? how much money sean saved by switching to geico. big man with a horn. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we're back my next guest is very funny man you know from can "saturday night live" and from "white famous" on showtime. ed his new movie - shot entirely on an iphone by steven soderbergh is called "unsane" - it opens march 23rd. please welcome jay pharoah. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: that is a beautiful jacket. >> thank you, thank you, thank you so much. >> jimmy: i would look so dumb in a jacket like that but looks great on you. >> i'm looking like sexy jiffy pop this is amazing. >> jimmy: how you doing, how's everything? >> i'm good, man. >> jimmy: i have mixed feelings about something i want to confess to you, because i know i'm sure people do this all the time and don't want to be one of those people that your impressions are so great that i'd like you to do them. is it one of those things you're like eh. >> jimmy for you, anything, i've been a fan since "the man show". >> jimmy: that's nice, appreciate it. >> my first picture of jugs on the man show this is my being a lawyer. >> jimmy: this is close we'll drink a beer after. what's the most obscure

impression you do? >> i think john mel any. i'm john melannie on jimmy kimmel and i'm loving it [ cheers and applause ] then i do this one but i never talk about it, i do jason statham and i say i'm the transporter and what i will do is punch you in the face and have sex with your girl right on top of your corpse. >> jimmy: that's good. >> thank you. i've never done that ever. >> jimmy: so he doesn't know you do that. >> he doesn't know. >> jimmy: you shouldn't do him ever if he's around. >> no he'd kick my butt. >> jimmy: doesn't seem like he has a great sense of humor. >> no he laughs like this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when developing president trump is that hard to

do because we're so familiar with his speech patterns? >> thing about president obama it emerged. people were like that's not good. he doesn't sound like him. and talking to snl steve higgins he said talk from the back of your throat so i started to do that. i was like well if i talk from the back of my throat then all of a sudden i sound like obama. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: boy you really do. >> you know you want me to come back but i'm not. asked for this bitch you asked for it. >> jimmy: he liked your impression right? >> oh, yeah when i did it in front of him didn't want him to say something to secret service and pop my head off. >> jimmy: no your head important in this career. >> yeah man. >> jimmy: have you married into

people who don't like it. >> shannon sharp hates it. >> jimmy: the football player shannon sharp is a great one to do. >> i know the first time i did it he tweeted on twitter like do i really sound like that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i tweeted back at him, yes you do. [ laughter ] he doesn't like it but it's flattery i like shannon sharp. >> jimmy: you kind of in a way almost fall in love with a person's voice to have it that much in your head and psyche. >> you have to like them a lot. >> jimmy: this movie you're doing from oscar winning director steven solderbergh he's directed this on an iphone. >> i can't confirm or deny it's a iphone can at the time you i can tell you it wasn't shot on the samsung note.

don't want it to blowup in his face. >> jimmy: tsz not a comedy. >>s a psychological thriller. he hit me up said i seen your work and know you have a dramatic side i want to use in this film. i'm like you're steven solderbergh of course i'm going to do. first time he saw me was my video will smith versus denzel [ applause ] some of y'all seen it. so he said matt damon was on the set with him and the interview was going so well. >> jimmy: oh, man. >> i forgot the show got beef. >> jimmy: yeah he's back there. but go ahead. >> so he shows the video goes

wow that's dope and he's like youtuyo i want to work with this ki. >> jimmy: wow and he thought about you. >> i'm sorry i let y'all down. >> jimmy: do denzel. >> i'm not a juke box kimmel. >> jimmy: close it out with something great. >> you know what jimmy i get on this show. [ laughter ] everybody's listening, i really like it because the ladies look at me and they say damn that man's sexy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] my man. >> jimmy: that's good. that's good stuff. you have the whole thing is important. don't really need to bookes just could be just you the whole time. >> that's right be just me and chad we'll play everyone in hollywood that's what we'll do my man. >> i look forward to seeing the

movie "unsane" opens in theaters march 23rd. jay pharoah everybody. right back with musical guest elise trouw. w. >> announcer: "jimmy kimmel live" concert series presented by mercedes-benz best or nothing. nothing. lyrics: ooh-oo child

lyrics: thing's are gonna get easier. lyrics: ooh-oo child, lyrics: things'll get brighter. lyrics: ooh-oo child lyrics: thing's are gonna get easier. lyrics: ooh-oo child, lyrics: things'll get brighter.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: "jimmy kimmel live" concert series presented by mercedes-benz best or nothing. i want to thank ellen pompeo, jay pharoah and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. nightline is next but first her album is called "unraveling" here with the songs "everlong" and "what you won't do for love" - elise trouw! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ ♪ guess you wonder where i've been ♪ ♪ search to find a love within. i came back to let you know ♪ ♪ got a thing for you know got a thing for♪ ♪ you and i can't let go my friends wonder what is wrong with me well i'm in a daze from your love you see i came♪ ♪ back to let you know got a thing for you and i can't let go some people go around the world for love♪

♪ but they may never find what they dream of what you won't do do for love you've tried everything but you don't♪ ♪ give up in my world only you makes me do for love what i would not do my friends wonder what is wrong with me♪ ♪ well i'm in a daze from your love you see i came back to let you know got a thing for you and i can't♪ ♪ let go you know i only want the best it's true i can't believe the things i do for you♪

♪ what you won't do do for love you've tried everything but you don't give up in my world only you♪ ♪ makes me do for love what i would not do hello i've waited here for you everlong tonight i throw♪ ♪ myself into and out of the red out of her head she sang what i would not do ♪ what you won't do ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ what you won't do do more love ♪ ♪ everything ♪ what you won't do ♪ do for love ♪ you've tried everything ♪ but you don't give ♪ what you won't do ♪ do for love ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight south korean preppers, emergency kits, fire starters, even luxury underground bunkers, under threat of nuclear war. a small but growing group bracing for the worst. we travel across the fractured peninsula to feel the pressure on the ground. >> both sides have big guns, nuclear weapons. >> plus the monarch migrations in the mountains of mexico millions of monarch butterflies taking their winter break. >> is it still on my head. >> yes it's nice. >> we go deeper and