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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 27, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am EST

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"jimmy kimmel live!." tonight -- meryl streep. ♪ thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for watching. thank you for coming. we have a what is sure to be a highly overrated show tonight with meryl streep. meryl streep is here tonight because -- [ cheers and applause ]
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-- the stars have gathered in los angeles last night for the 75th annual golden globes. the awards for movies and television presented by the foreign press. these are foreigners who came into hollywood from their god-forsaken countries to judge us, and for some reason we allow it. we even celebrate it. there are always surprises with the golden globes. this was one. for her role in "the marvelous mrs. maisel," rachel brosnahan won for best actress. [ cheers and applause ] i was going to make a joke about i never heard of her or the show, but it sounds like she's very popular. doesn't brosnahan sound like pierce brosnan married like someone named callahan and they -- and on hand to receive the cecil b. demille award was none other than oprah winfrey, who delivered a powerful speech. [ cheers and applause ] a speech so powerful that all day long people have been asking if oprah will run for president, which at this point wouldn't president be a demotion for oprah? i feel like it would.
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[ laughter ] now that we have donald trump, everything seems possible. and while you don't want to tal like this to get out of hand, the e! network last night was fortunate enough to have celebrity stylist jason bolden on hand to put oprah's remarks into historical context. >> it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight. >> wow, that was almost like oprah's "i have a dream" speech. >> can i tell you? >> how powerful was that? >> she was giving you dr. martin luther king vibes all day. [ laughter ] >> i don't think you should be able to draw comparisons to dr. martin luther king if you're wearing no socks, right? [ laughter ] i mean he even asked the white house -- the reporters asked the white house today for their response to a potential oprah candidacy. team trump said, we welcome the challenge whether it be oprah winfrey or anybody else. preferably anybody else. i mean trump's approval rating right now, i don't think he could beat maury povich for president, never mind oprah.
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but the president was supposed to host his own awards show tonight, the fake news awards that he announced would be presented tonight at 5:00 o'clock. they've been postponed until next wednesday, which is -- you know, postponing his own awards show is an odd and out of character move for a man who consistently delivers his promises in a very timely fashion. but donald trump didn't. i guess it's because he had to be in atlanta tonight for the college football national championship game. the georgia bulldogs are playing the alabama crimson tide. the game is on -- it's about to start right here. trump was rooting for alabama, for the crimson tide, because that's what he calls his face. did you know that? [ laughter ] [ applause ] he went to the game despite the fact that back home in new york, there was a fire in his apartment building. but the smoke was seen pouring from the roof of trump tower, which traditionally is understood as a signal that eric trump has finally lost his virginity. but in this case, it was an
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electrical fire. so either that or he's been lying so much, his pants finally caught on fire. trump spent the weekend punching back at a new tell-all book that raises questions about his among other things raises questions about his mental fitness. many of the most damaging moments came from former trump adviser steve bannon, who spoke to author michael wolfe. so trump tweeted, michael wolfe is a total loser who made up stories in order to sell this really boring and untruthful book. he used sloppy steve bannon, who cried when he got fired and begged for his job. now sloppy steve has been dumped like a dog by almost everyone. too bad. [ laughter ] what does dumped like a dog even mean? they dropped him off at a shelter? i don't know. i do like this detail that steve bannon cried when they fired him. i hope that one's true. it isn't, but i hope it is. trump is really mad about this, to the point where he tweeted this weekend to declare himself a genius. i don't know if you saw this, but he wrote throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being like
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really smart. then he goes on about hillary. he said, i went from very successful businessman to top tv star to president of the united states on my first try. [ laughter ] i think that would qualify as not smart but genius and a very stable genius at that. one thing about geniuses, they always brag about being -- especially the very stable geniuses. the one thing that's stable about donald trump is his fried chicken intake. nothing else is stable. but maybe he is a genius. i mean he did figure out a way to get a six-figure job where all he has to do is tweet, watch tv, play golf and eat big macs in bed all day. but trump, he continued to defend his brain. this time in person at camp david this weekend, speaking to reporters with trusty assistant mike pence at his side. >> this morning you were tweeting about your mental state. why did you feel the need to tweet about that this morning? >> only because i went to the best colleges -- or college.
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i went to a -- i had a situation where i was a very excellent student, came out, made billions and billions of dollars, became one of the top business people. went to television and for ten years was a tremendous success as you probably have heard. ran for president one time and won. and then i hear this guy that does not know me, doesn't know me at all. by the way, did not interview me for three -- he said he interviewed me for three hours in the white house. it didn't exist, okay? it's in his imagination. >> there's a lot to read into there. so in addition to his mental stability, trump's schedule is now being questioned. his daily schedule. he's been reportedly rolling into the oval office at around 11:00 a.m. and heading out at 4:15 p.m. it's reassuring the president of the united states has the same hours as a venice beach skateboard shop. [ laughter ] so this is his daily routine. it goes executive time. that's what they call his time in the morning watching tv and tweeting. then office time. then potty time. then tantrum time. golf time.
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and finally bedtime. so trump had a busy schedule today. besides the football game he went to, he's on the road in nashville. he spoke at the american farm bureau federation convention where he was good enough to provide us with tonight's grain alcohol edition of drunk donald trump. ♪ >> thank you. oh, does he love the farmers? pat? does he love those farmers, right, pat? stand up, pat. do you love the farmers, pat? yes. [ cheers and applause ] we're talking about a different subject. what about the farmers? that's good. that's why they love you. ♪
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>> jimmy: so the worst part is there's no person named pat. yeah. [ laughter ] it's kim jong-un's birthday today, by the way, which is a day of great celebration in north korea. for the next 24 hours, all the shoelaces they can eat. there was one little hiccup in typical north korean fashion. when they lit the candles on his birthday cake, it took off sideways and crash landed in the sea of japan. it didn't really. don't worry. early today here on abc, we had a new episode of "the bachelor" and all the good will and female solidarity established at the golden globes last night undone in one spectacular swoop. [ laughter ] it was a dramatic night for dental hygienists in bumper cars. my pick to win, becca got a one-on-one date and looks very strong. i'm happy with that pick. krystal with a "k." now, krystal with a "k,"
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during her date she revealed that her brother is homeless, and then ari gave her a rose, which is nice, not as nice as giving her brother a house, but a nice thing to do. krystal got into it with bibiana. i hate that i know any of this stuff. but bibiana was very upset because krystal interrupted her one-on-one time with ari, which is a no-no. >> when i'm trying to talk to my man, you need to back the [ bleep ] up. >> well, i did. i asked if you need more time. i did, and i gave that to you. >> you need to check yourself first before you try to check on other people. >> look, i don't want to upset you or anyone else. >> you already did. i really think that you already upset me and you upset everybody else. and honestly at this point, nobody is going to respect your time. you just dug a big-ass hole for yourself. >> she should be clear. she said "you dug a big-ass hole for yourself." okay? the grand canyon is a big-ass hole. if it was anything else, i couldn't say it. it would be bleeped. you wouldn't hear anything right now. ari sent three women home tonight including a graphic designer named jenny.
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based on how that good-bye went, i'm not entirely sure jenny understands the idea behind the show. >> can you give me a second? one sec. hey, i'm sorry. come here. give me a hug at least. >> can we talk about it at least? >> yeah, i just -- it's hard to open up. you know what i mean? i tried to like -- >> yeah. i'm sad about you. i'm sad. >> i know. i know you made friends. >> this is not a sorority rush. it's "the bachelor." you're not there to make friends. you're there to get engaged to someone you won't see in six to eight months. people don't understand the rules. people have no respect anymore. we've got to make this country great again, you know? by the way, we have to take a break. when we come back, at the
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beginning of this year, marijuana became legal in california for recreational use. [ cheers and applause ] i want to point something out. every time i mention that, our own stage manager starts the applause. [ cheers and applause ] we are going to give you a drug test. but our beloved guillermo is at a pot shop. now, guillermo. guillermo! >> guillermo: hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: you stay there. we're going to check in. you're going to show us around and how everything works buying legal recreational marijuana, okay? >> guillermo: okay, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right. all right. we'll be right back with that. all right. we'll be right back with that. where's frank? it's league night! 'saved money on motorcycle insurance with geico! goin' up the country.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. meryl streep. blake shelton is coming. first, as you know, as of last week, january 1st, it is legal to sell and buy cannabis for recreational use in the state of california. [ cheers and applause ] he can't help it. he's physically -- anyway, there's a lot of curiosity about this. people want to know how it works. i want to know how it works. we sent guillermo on a mission tonight. he's a few miles from here in west hollywood at a store called medmen. guillermo, how are you doing? >> guillermo: i'm doing fantastic, jimmy. >> jimmy: guillermo, how long has this store been open? >> guillermo: i think it's been open two or three years, i think. >> jimmy: two or three years? what do you mean? they just started -- it was supposed to be just -- oh, they were a medical shop beforehand. i understand. >> guillermo: that's right, jimmy.
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>> jimmy: now people have tossed away their fake ailments and are just buying it for the reasons they were buying it in the first place, right? >> guillermo: right, jimmy. and i want to tell you this is the best idea you ever had in 50 years, jimmy. >> jimmy: it is. all right. well, take it easy. can you get high by smelling it, guillermo? >> guillermo: i hope so. >> jimmy: okay. so let's meet somebody who works there because i'm curious as to how it works. >> guillermo: oh, right here. >> jimmy: does that guy work there? all right. >> guillermo: hi. how are you? >> i'm good. how are you? >> jimmy: what's your name? >> my name is kellen. >> jimmy: kellen, what's your job there? >> i'm bud sales associate. >> jimmy: you don't call it a bud tender anymore? is that like out now? >> sales associate is preferred. >> jimmy: sales associate. why did you almost accidentally say bud tender then? >> we used to call it bud tender. >> jimmy: now, bud tender i would tip. i don't know if i'd tip a sales associate. >> i think we can stick with bud
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tender then. >> jimmy: yeah, right. [ laughter ] people now can just walk in the shop. how old do they have to be to walk in there? >> you have to be 21. >> jimmy: and the shop looks like steve jobs designed a log cabin or something, right? i mean it's very sleek and all very high-tech. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: okay. and what kind of -- like tell us about some of the products you have there and what people can take home and what it will do to them. [ laughter ] >> well, we've -- >> jimmy: and also tell me what you've done to my security guard as well. >> well, as you can see, we've got quite a bit of product. we've got a little bit of something for everyone, whether you're young, old. it depends on what you're looking for, but we do have something for everyone. >> jimmy: okay. you don't have something for everyone. you don't have anything for kids, i would assume, right? >> nothing for kids. you've got to be 21. >> jimmy: already we're finding a lot of holes in your business plan there. what did you do for work before
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you started doing this? >> i've always been a cannabis person, jimmy. >> jimmy: really? always? wow, let's meet some of the customers if we can. any favorites in there right now? guillermo? >> guillermo: this guy. >> jimmy: hi. what's your name? >> good. how are you, man? long live new york city. >> jimmy: is this your first time in the shop? >> it is. it is. i just landed actually. >> jimmy: you look as happy as anyone i've ever seen in my whole life. >> we've been hanging out all night. it's been quite a trip. >> jimmy: oh, really? oh, wow. what's going -- what did you -- what did you try? may i ask what has you so -- >> i haven't tried anything yet. i don't know if i will. i just heard and came in and checked it out and checking out everything. >> jimmy: you're telling me this is your demeanor without even trying anything? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it could only go bad from here. >> you never know, jimmy. it's l.a. you never know. i'm from new york city, so you never know what's going to go down. >> jimmy: you did mention that like four seconds ago, so i
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think -- guillermo, what were you about to say? i could see your mustache starting to move. >> guillermo: he's natural like that, jimmy. >> jimmy: he's naturally like that? oh, wow. what do you do for work? may i ask? >> i'm in technology. >> jimmy: okay. all right. do your folks know you're there? >> definitely not. not my folks. >> jimmy: no. would they approve of the fact that you're in the store right now? >> sure. it's the 21st century. >> jimmy: they would be okay with it? all right. guillermo, have you noticed any interesting stuff around there? >> guillermo: oh, yeah, jimmy. they even have weed for animals too, jimmy. >> jimmy: the happiest man in the world just left. they have what? >> guillermo: they have weed for animals, too. >> jimmy: no. come on. really? get out of here. wow. >> guillermo: calm and quiet. maybe we should give this to donald trump.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, that is unbelievable. i feel like snoop dogg has missed out on a huge merchandising opportunity. well, thank you, guillermo. you hang out there. we'll check in with you maybe through the course of the night, okay? >> guillermo: don't worry. i'm not going nowhere. >> jimmy: all right. thank you, guillermo. we have a good show for you tonight. blake shelton is here. jason ritter is here. we'll be right back with meryl streep. ♪ well done my king. is my ride ready? of course, big brother. but you have to hurry. ♪ show off! experience luxury performance that takes the crown. presenting the all-new lexus ls 500. long live the king.
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>> jimmy: tonight, from "kevin (probably) saves the world," which you can see tuesday nights here on abc, jason ritter is here with us. then this is his latest album. it's called "texoma shore." blake shelton from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, golden globe winner gary oldman will be with
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us tomorrow along with phil rosenthal and huncho jack. and later this week, chris hemsworth, annette bening, darren criss and paul thomas anderson, with music from sylvan esso and elvis costello, too. so join us for all of that. my first guest tonight is a three-time oscar winner, nine-time golden globe winner. she's good at other things, too. we're focused on movies right now. you can see her now as real-life newspaper publisher katharine graham in a film directed by steven spielberg called "the post." please welcome meryl streep. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? thanks for coming. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. first of all, i should say congratulations on your oscar nomination. i know they don't come out
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for -- [ cheers and applause ] they don't come out for another two weeks, but who are we kidding? you're going to get one. >> now you're going to feel really bad when i don't. >> jimmy: no. that will never, ever happen. i won't host the show if you're not nominated. how about that? i will go on strike if you are not nominated. hey, could i get you some medical marijuana or some recreational marijuana while we're here? >> you know, my son lives out here. >> jimmy: he does? >> and he gave me for christmas something called soothe, which is a foot rub. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, because the red carpet, you wear these ridiculous shoes. and, yeah, this is an amazing -- it has some initials, tb -- tbd or something like that. i don't know. but it's amazing. it's an amazing thing. >> jimmy: do you feel like it does something for your feet? >> oh, yeah, really. your feet really feel great. >> jimmy: do your feet get --
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>> so then i started rubbing it, you know, everywhere. >> jimmy: i've heard about these things. i think whoopi goldberg actually has a line of products that you can rub on yourself. >> really? >> jimmy: i don't know what they do exactly. i'm not sure if they're supposed to do anything more than regular creams or what. >> i don't know. i'll ask her about it because she's in new york, and so am i. >> jimmy: that's right. it would be convenient. guillermo, pick up some of that whoopi goldberg foot cream for meryl while you're there. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: okay. very good. i think we caught him shoplifting. how is everything? did you have fun last night at the golden globes? >> oh, yeah. what a wild night. >> jimmy: was it a wild night? >> yeah, it was weird. >> jimmy: yeah. it was a different -- well, certainly not your usual show. >> no. and oprah launched her presidential campaign, i think. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: you think there's any chance she really will run for president? >> i don't know. i think, you know, we've had some television people run. >> jimmy: right. >> have you ever thought about it? >> jimmy: uh, not seriously, no. >> you could be on the ticket with her. >> jimmy: i think that would be a terrible thing for the country if i were president. i would ruin things almost immediately. but you do look at what's going on, and you go, maybe i wouldn't be so bad. [ laughter ] so she has not discussed perhaps a running mate type of situation with you, your endorsement, anything like that? >> no. somebody from the stage, they said tom hanks, and he seemed ready to go, so -- >> jimmy: yeah, that would be a formidable -- >> that would be a pretty good ticket. >> jimmy: i think you'd have to go somebody outside of hollywood for the running mate. because people could go, oh, it's too much -- you know how some people are tp too many celebrities. >> maybe, or you could just keep it in hollywood. you could have the rock as, you
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know, joint chiefs of staff. you could have -- >> jimmy: secretary of defense. >> you could have harrison ford running defense. >> jimmy: harrison ford just on the plane whenever there's an air force one-type flight. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i saw something that said mariah carey stole your seat. is that true? that actually happened? >> bitch stole my seat. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, i came over, and there she was next to spielberg, sucking up. >> jimmy: i see, yeah. >> so i said -- she says, oh, my god, they made me sit down because e we were moving. they make you -- they say, five, four, three, two, one, wherever you are, everybody has to drop to their -- >> jimmy: it's like musical chairs in a way. >> yeah, it kind of is. >> jimmy: you were left out. >> i said, no, no, stay there. i'll sit on your lap because, you know. >> jimmy: why not?
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>> comfy. >> jimmy: that's an odd thing. who else was at your table? spielberg was at your table? >> yeah. and tom and rita. >> jimmy: tom hanks. rita wilson. >> kate capshaw. stacy schneider runs fox. amy pascal, who is the producer of "the post." kristie macosko krieger, who is steven's soevt associa-- associ she's the producer of the movie with amy. and they brought it to steven. so it's a whole bunch of women who -- >> jimmy: does even anytime at this event? >> no. >> jimmy: nobody really eats the food? >> no. the food is done by the time everybody comes into the hall. it's taken away. >> jimmy: i read a story and you would know if it's true or not. that trump's team requested a copy of your movie to screen at camp david over the weekend. >> somebody told me that backstage. >> jimmy: so you don't know anything about that? >> no, but i'm sure i will. [ applause ] >> jimmy: seems like if he had
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seen it, he would have reacted in some way, like, you know, nixon was mistreated. >> unless he really liked it. >> jimmy: unless he really liked it. he probably would really -- i think he would probably miss the whole point of it. >> it's a very patriotic movie. it's a patriotic movie. maybe he did like it, and he didn't see the parallels. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back, we'll see a clip from the movie. meryl streep is here with us. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ .. are defined by the things we share. and the ones we love. who never stop wondering what we'll do or where we'll go next. we the people who are better together than we are alone... are unstoppable. welcome to the entirely new expedition.
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let me ask you something. was that how you felt when you were palling around with jack kennedy? where was your sense of duty then? i don't recall you pushing him particularly hard on anything. >> i pushed jack when i had to. i never pulled any punches. >> is that right? because you used to dine at the white house once a week. all the trips to camp david. oh, and that drunken birthday cruise on the sequoia you told me about. hard to believe you would have gotten all those invitations if you didn't pull a few punches. >> that is meryl streep with tom hanks in "the post," which is in theaters now and was nominated for a golden globe last night, and which is a true story. it's based on katherine graham, who is a real publisher who did something, i think, heroic is a
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good way to describe it. >> yeah. it was a really important move. at that time "the washington post" was the second paper in washington. the big paper was "the washington star." and it was nowhere near "the new york times." "the new york times" got a tip, and neil sheehan, this great reporter, picked it up and they published the pentagon papers. but nixon shut them down. so it came to "the post." they found the source, and the choice came whether they were going to defy the court and an injunction and publish. and so it came down to her. she was one of the only women who was in business at that time, and she ran the paper only because she inherited it. >> jimmy: it's funny because i feel like if this movie had come out two years ago, our reaction would be, it's unthinkable that a newspaper wouldn't print this information because the president told them not to. but now it doesn't seem so unthinkable anymore. is that a total coincidence that this movie came out now and was
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made during this administration? >> well, i think, you know, the assault on the press and freedom of the press and the attempt to -- by powerful, by government to shut down a story is something that's risen over and over again since, you know, brave new world. >> jimmy: since this weekend. >> this weekend, yeah. but i think steven spielberg felt the impetus to really get this out right away. he worked really fast. i mean we started shooting in may. we finished at the end of july. he had it cut two weeks later. nobody makes a movie like that. nobody. he's just amazing. and he works with -- >> jimmy: i've heard he's very good. i've not personally had that experience with him, but -- >> no. he's at the top of his game. >> jimmy: you know. the academy awards are coming up, and you have -- i think you have -- you've been nominated 20 times for academy awards. [ cheers and applause ]
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i was wondering if you'd mind playing a little game show. in 60 seconds, how many of those 20 movies for which you were nominated for an academy award can you name? and if you're able to name them, i will give you this bonus oscar. [ cheers and applause ] okay? 60 seconds on the clock. begin. >> what? >> jimmy: start naming movies. there's an oscar on the line. >> "the french lieutenant's woman." >> jimmy: correct. >> "kramer versus kramer." >> jimmy: yes. >> "silkwood." >> jimmy: yes. >> "sophie's choice." >> jimmy: yes. >> oh, god. >> jimmy: no. that was george burns. >> see, i can't remember last thursday. i can remember the olden days. >> jimmy: that one wasn't in there either. >> okay. "out of africa." >> jimmy: yes.
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>> um, "cry in the dark" maybe? >> jimmy: no. >> why? why? >> jimmy: you were robbed. you forgot the first one. you remember the first one? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't? >> yes. >> jimmy: they say you always forget your first one, right? >> the first nomination? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i thought that was "the french lieutenant's woman." >> jimmy: no, it wasn't. that was the third. it was "the deer hunter." oh, i'm so sorry. i'm going to have to keep this oscar for myself. but that's okay. you probably have enough. >> oh, damn. >> jimmy: well, i'm sorry you didn't win but -- >> i'm sorry my mike popped out. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm sorry it all happened. it's okay. it will be all right. you know what? we'll do it again live at the oscars. you practice. >> okay. >> jimmy: we'll see if you can win the prize that night. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. congratulations. thank you so much for coming. it is always a great treat to have you here. meryl streep, everybody.
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"the post" is in theaters now. opens everywhere on friday. we'll be right back with jason ritter. ♪ you can't judge sugar looking at the cane, you can't judge a woman looking at her man. you can't judge a daughter by looking at the mother. you can't judge a book by looking at the cover. taking one look. try to read me like a book but i leave 'em all shook 'cuz you can't judge a book by its cover. you can't judge a book by looking at the cover [x2] i'm going on a targetrun. you need anything?pers. toilet paper, cereal... maybe some chew toys? [ dog barks ] got it! get low prices today and every day. targetrun and done.
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i've always wanted to share a special moment with my mom. i think surprising her with a night ski trip would just be the biggest gift i could give her. let's make that happen. she's gonna be so excited. ♪ take me where i want to be. ♪ ♪ let me dream, oh, let me dream... ♪
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look at your eyes and your ears. ( ♪ )
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♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. blake shelton is coming. our next guest is an actor and a >> reporter: and a very nice guy who plays kevin on "kevin (probably) saves the world," watch it tomorrow night at 10:00 here on abc. please say hello to jason ritter. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you feel like sitting on meryl's seat? makes you a better actor automatically? >> i hope so. i do kind of feel some sort of power surging through me. >> jimmy: have you met before? have you met her? >> she's long gone. yes, i did meet her one time. >> jimmy: you did? >> she came and saw a play that i was in. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> it was terrifying.
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i didn't know until afterwards, which is probably a good thing. i don't think they tell you if she's in the audience. >> jimmy: i think that's smart. she probably should keep it kind of quiet. >> you'll freeze up, or at least i would have. >> jimmy: afterwards i assume she was nice and complimentary. and all that stuff. >> she was super nice. i can't remember if she was complimentary. i think she was. but i also think she just said hi and i was like, oh, my gosh, i can't -- >> jimmy: your dad, of course, great john ritter, who was a great guy. [ cheers and applause ] and a really beloved actor. you must have been around famous people your whole life since you were a little kid, right? >> yeah, sort of in los angeles you run into people. i remember there was one time i was at the grocery store and my dad started talking to this couple that he knew. they were sort of talking. my dad liked to embarrass me and say, jason plays guitar. this guy went, i play guitar and i'll give you some guitar lessons. i went all right, sure. my dad went, that's paul stanley from kiss. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> but i didn't recognize him
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because he didn't have the star. actually i'm realizing in this moment that i think i believed he had like the joker in batman, like flesh-colored makeup over the black and white star makeup. he just put that on to go out into the real world. >> jimmy: that would be truly ridiculous, but i think it's within the realm of possibility. >> it was very exciting. >> jimmy: did you ever give him the guitar lesson? >> did i ever give paul -- i d did. i taught him everything he knows. >> jimmy: wow, that's really remarkable. congratulations. i know you're engaged. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: your wife, melanie lynskey, what's the show she was on hbo? >> "togetherness." >> jimmy: she was very good on that. >> she was. >> jimmy: how long have you had togetherness? >> i would say five, six -- five-ish years. >> jimmy: so you've been together for quite some time? >> we've been together for quite some time. yeah. >> jimmy: so you know all the bad things about each other? you know, this is not like something -- >> she certainly knows all the bad things about me? >> jimmy: what are the bad things about you? let's go through them.
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>> one thing that i realize -- and actually, one of the early things that she told me was that i was a good eater. i went, oh, good. i generally keep my mouth closed. >> jimmy: oh, i see. courteous eater. >> yes, exactly. but yeah, i eat horrible things for my body, but i keep my mouth closed while i eat them. but it turns out she was telling me that because she has this thing called misophonia. i don't know if anybody's heard of misophonia. yes, but for the rest of us, i'll explain. you know the sound -- this sound? that sound is gross. misophonia people hear that 20 times louder than you do, and it drives them insane. >> jimmy: you really think they are hearing it louder than we do, or they just can't tolerate even the smallest annoyance? >> i don't know. but it will turn a person who has misophonia off, like just blank stare and inner rage if they hear that. >> jimmy: so your wife does this?
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>> well, she -- yeah. for the most part, i didn't see it, and i went around thinking i was a good eater. there was one time where i was eating cereal, and i guess i'm not a good cereal eater. >> jimmy: no one is really. >> she was like this. they she kept on going, i'm going to get a drink of water. what's going on? >> jimmy: what do you do if you go to dinner or god forbid you order soup? >> soup and ramen and all that is just right out. >> jimmy: nothing liquid, huh? >> no, i'm fine, but i'll see her -- we'll be eating and all of a sudden she'll just go -- i'll go what happened? i'll go, what happened? she's like, there's a bad eater. she can hear it across the restaurant. it's like a superpower. >> jimmy: in a way it's like a worthless superpower. if she were like a detective or something, maybe it could be applied to help solve crimes or something. really it's doing nothing but driving her crazy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and there's nothing she can do about it. >> there's nothing she can do about it. gum chewing is really tough for
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people with misophonia. we just keep our mouth closed generally and we don't bother our misophonia persons around us. >> jimmy: and that kiss-the-bride moment, you have to really kind of just make sure there's -- >> an old '50s kiss. >> jimmy: isn't it true you guys watch "the bachelor"? do you get nuts when -- my wife does, and she's got a little bit of this where hearing them kissing makes her vomit. the kissing makes her mentally ill, like she goes wild when they kiss. >> there's a lot of gross kissing. they tell you in movies and stuff to not do certain things that you do in real life just because it looks and sounds gross. >> jimmy: right. >> and on "the bachelor" they're all miked up, so yeah, she doesn't like that stuff. >> jimmy: she must really love the show to commit to it through all of that. >> she really does. she got me into it. >> jimmy: tell us about "kevin (probably) saves the world." you've got a show that has parentheses in the title. >> it does. >> jimmy: it's confusing because it's not your typical kind of show. explain it for us. >> well i'm not going to do
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that. i'm very bad at explaining it. i've noticed that i'm not a good pitcher in that way. i can't -- it takes me a really long time, and i don't solve anything. i would just say watch it, or if you like a show, a particular show, it's like that show. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: whatever your favorite show is, it's just like it. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: but new. >> but new and different. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. thank you for coming. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: i hope you don't drive your wife crazy. >> i don't. i wait until she goes out of town, and then i get the cereal bowl out. i'm like bye, hon. >> jimmy: a rack of ribs. jason ritter, everybody. "kevin (probably) saves the world" airs tuesday nights at 10:00 here on abc. we'll be right back with blake shelton. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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oh, that's lovely... so graceful. the corkscrew spin, flawless... ...his signature move, the flying dutchman. poetry in motion. and there it is, the "baby bird". breathtaking. a sumo wrestler figure skating? surprising. what's not surprising? how much money heather saved by switching to geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more.
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are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool? try zyrtec®. it's starts working hard at hour one. and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank all my guests. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, his album is called "texoma shore."
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here with the song "i lived it"" blake shelton! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ daddy drove the wheels off a flatbed ford flies found a hole in the old screen door ♪ ♪ granny said the dress that my sister wore to church wasn't long enough ♪ ♪ mama poured grease in a crisco can put 100,000 miles on a sears box fan ♪ ♪ uncle joe put tobacco on my hand where them yellow jackets tore me up ♪ ♪ and i ain't making this up ♪ oh you think i'm talking crazy ♪ ♪ in a different language ♪ you might not understand ♪ oh that's all right
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♪ that's just the kind of life that made me who i am ♪ ♪ just taking my mind on a visit ♪ ♪ back in time cause i miss it you wouldn't know to love it like i love it ♪ ♪ unless you lived it ♪ and i lived it ♪ granddaddy smoked salems with the windows up drove me around in the back of that truck ♪ ♪ we drank from the hose and spit in the cup we all survived somehow ♪ ♪ them old duke boys they're flattening their heels ♪ ♪ hollywood was fake wrestling was real wouldn't dream of spending that two dollar bill ♪ ♪ from pushing a lawnmower around ♪ ♪ i'd go back there right now
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oh you think i'm talking crazy ♪ ♪ in a different language ♪ you might not understand ♪ oh that's all right ♪ that's just the kind of life that made me who i am ♪ ♪ just taking my mind on a visit back in time cause i miss it ♪ ♪ you wouldn't know to love it like i love it unless you lived it ♪ ♪ and man i lived it ♪ ♪ oh, you think i'm talking crazy ♪ ♪ in a different language you might not understand ♪ ♪ oh that's all right
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♪ that's just the kind of life that made me who i am ♪ ♪ just taking my mind on a visit ♪ ♪ back in time cause i miss it you wouldn't know to love it like i love it ♪ ♪ unless you lived it ♪ and man i lived it ♪ oh man i lived it ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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this is "nightline." tonight limbo in lesbos. refugees who have escaped death now trapped in a living nightmare in greece. >> this is what people are supposed to clean themselves. just look at the rubbish. >> plagued by overcrowding, violence and sexual assault. the secrets behind these barbed wire fences. plus pulling back the curtain on the upcoming academy awards. jimmy kimmel is all abuzz. >> the worst thing that can happen is everything goes perfectly. >> the secret to writing the most important monologue of the year. >> his take on last year's best picture blunder. >> i would be honest, it would be funny if it happened again. >> but first, the "nightline" five.

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