( whistling sprightly tune ) starring andy griffith... with ronny howard.

well, what happened, fletch? the old truck finally poop out? no. well, what happened, fletch? was it an accident? yeah. i didn't exactly figure you was mixing salad here in the middle of the highway. how'd it happen? whoosh! sideswiped, huh? yeah. reckless driver, huh? you know who done it? no. what kind of car was it? white. did you notice who was driving? yup.

no. dad-burn it. if you don't start stringin' a few words together, we're gonna be here till supper time. i ain't even had my lunch yet. how'd it happen? young squirt come tearing by here in one of them newfangled convertible jobs. drove me clean off into the ditch. i'd just like to get my hands on his neck for about two seconds. i'd sure show him what for. uh-huh. better rest awhile, fletch. you must be all wrung out from all that jabbering.

hi, there, young fella. hi. nice car. thanks. well, if, uh, you officers will excuse me, i'm going to cut out. i just, uh, stopped to check my tires. you, uh... you always drive around with celery in your car? i happen to like celery. that's nice. now all you have to do is sideswipe a salt truck you'll be all set, won't you? p. much obliged. don't do that. let's run him in, andy. you take him. i'll take charge of the crime car. crime car?! i've got to be in miami by... if it's not too much trouble, may i see your driver's license? this is a real drag. i promise not to get it dirty. let's have it. "ronald bailey. 19."

running trucks off the road, ain't it? he wasn't off the road. look, what's it going to take to square with old macdonald, huh? how much? well, come on. how much-- 50, 100 bucks? well, come on. i want to get going. leaving the scene of an accident is a serious offense. there could've been somebody hurt in that truck. nobody was hurt, and nobody is going to be hurt if we just drop the whole thing. wait. what was that you said about "nobody is gonna be hurt"? sheriff... maybe i better straighten you out. like it says right there on the license: my name is bailey. my father is john judson bailey. you have heard of him. yeah. we've heard of him. well, then, i guess you know that my dad can have just about anything he wants in this state,

nevertheless, i'm holding you for leaving the scene of an accident. circuit judge will be by in a few days. you can present your case then. i'm afraid we're gonna have to detain you till then. jail? what about my father? oh, he can come see you anytime. visiting hours are from 2:00 to 4:00. what do you mean you can't find my father? well, call dad's attorney! tell him i'm... i'm in some hokey-pokey jail. i don't know! some one-horse town called mayberry. well, you tell him to get down here quick. hi, young fella. barney gone already, huh? well... come on. where are we going?

what? i promised my young 'un i'd take him fishin'. barney's watching bicycles at the movie house and i got nobody to stay here, so you'll have to go with us. what if i don't want to go? well, i'm afraid you got no choice in the matter. let's go. ( sighs ) oh, and, uh, i know you won't try anything foolish like trying to get away? oh, don't you worry about me trying to get away. good. yeah. i don't want to miss the fun to straighten you out. come on. come on. i got one! i got one! andy: play him, ope, play him. i think he's playing me, paw. come on. reel him in. go on. andy: you got him, you got him. the other way. that's right.

a whopper. look at that-- wow! look at him. he's fightin', too, ain't he? boy, he's a monster. ain't he though? phew! boy. you know what? maybe we'd better throw him back 'cause i don't believe that we've got a frying pan that big. come on, paw. ( laughing ) boy. here. hold my pole while i bait my young 'un's line. i believe that's the biggest fish you ever caught. i don't know. won't he be good to eat? ( slurping ) but i think we ought to save it for our sunday dinner. you think so? there you go. ( sighs ) hey, ope, how about a sandwich? i believe i will. all right. let's all have one. let's see what aunt bee's fixed us here. let's see what this is. oh, ham. ham. mmm-mmm. oh, boy. hey, hey, i think i got something. that ain't no little ordinary catfish.

! let's play him. come on. oh, look at that. you want him? let me have it, let me have it. look at that. he no more got his line in the water 'fore he caught hisself a fish. takes you longer than that, paw. sure does. sometimes i'll sit as much as half a day without even a nibble. yeah? you already got a nice one. and a pretty good size one, too, huh, paw? you'd better know it. you're a better man than i am. what's the matter? how's that? well, come on. i'm wise. you think you can butter me up-- make me feel real good-- and i'll ask my dad to go easy on you. well, it won't work, so just forget it! how do you like that? he just let him get away.

the only one that got away. ( rock music playing ) hey, cut that racket out, will ya? i said quiet! quiet! for pete's sake. with that gosh awful racket going on? take it easy, deputy. i was just trying to amuse myself. i didn't know i was going to be stuck in some hick jail on a saturday night. well, that's just too bad about you, but it just so happens it's 10:30 and respectable folks are home in bed and asleep by now, so go to sleep! hey, this town really swings, doesn't it, deputy? how's that? doesn't anybody in this town like to swing?

we just don't use 'em at night. hey, what are you doing in my cell? your cell? that's right. that's been my cell every saturday night for the past umpteen years. now will you kindly get out? are you kidding me? i am not kidding you and if you don't remove yourself,

lous. okay, wise guy. police! police! police! police! police! what's going on out...? oh, otis, it's you. you have to make so much racket when you come in? officer, arrest this man. what? he's trespassing on my property. oh, for heaven's sake. a citizen's property's got to be protected against prowlers and trespassers. that's the law. otis, will you just pipe down i just can't sleep in a strange room. all right. let's get some sleep around here. come on, boy. let's put your things in that other cell. oh, now, just a minute! you mean to tell me that you intend to accommodate this guy and give him any cell he wants? well, he's an old customer. i suppose it's no more than right. get that light, will ya?

uh, never believe what? i have never seen such a bunch of kooks in my whole life. yeah? well, they won't take money when i offer it to them. you treat a drunk like somebody important... oh, man, is this a laugh. yeah, well, you'll be laughing out of the other side of your mouth when you go to answerin' that charge of reckless drivin'. you'll see about that. hey, give me a hand here. all right, now, this is it! i don't want no more disturbance out here, you understand? it's lights out!

barney. barney! barney. barney? what is it, otis? i can't get to sleep. all right. ( sniffs )

( chuckles ) oh, that andy gump. ( humming ) morning, barn. oh, morning, and. everything all right? yeah. all set? yeah. all set. okay. let's go, young fella. what are you doing? we're closing. you're what? we're closing. we always close on sunday. you're closing the jail? that's right. well, where are we going? we're going home to eat dinner. aunt bee's fixing sunday dinner. and you always take the prisoners with you? mm-hmm. you're taking him, too? if he wants to go. i doubt he slept enough. hey, otis? otis. otis? wake up. wake up, otis. we're going home and eat dinner.

ndy. i think i'll stay; get a little more shut-eye. after a while, i want to wash out a few things and write some letters. andy: okay. suit yourself. come on. just a minute, sheriff. hmm? i got a call in to my father. he'll try and reach me. he won't be able to find me. oh, that's right. otis will take a message, won't you, otis? yeah. be sure and take any other messages. all right. okay. okay. okay, and-and lock up. yeah, yeah. and be sure all the windows are closed. okay, okay. okay. bye, otis. bye. see you next saturday night. have a nice dinner. we'll say hello to aunt bee for you. you do that, yes. i thought they'd never leave. sure was good to eat, aunt bee.

yself. mm-hmm. but you didn't have to stuff yourselves. couldn't help it, couldn't help it. look at that. corporation's really growing, isn't it? ron, did you enjoy your dinner? oh, yes, ma'am. it was fine. well, i think i'll get the ice cream freezer. andy: oh, yeah. we want to make some ice cream. barney, give me a hand. you can buy it in the store. what do you want to make it for? didn't you ever eat any homemade ice cream? no. well, you're in for a treat. yeah. paw? hmm? you in a good mood? yeah. why? if i tell you somethin', would you promise not to get mad? well, that all depends. what is it? well, it ain't hardly worth mentionin', but i think i better mention it.

yeah. someone threw a ball, and busted it. hmm. would you by any chance be that someone? are you mad, paw? no. no, i'm not mad. promise you won't get mad. you won't get an allowance till that window's paid for, okay? okay, paw. make way for the ice cream. y! and strawberries to go in it. come on, ope. give him a hand, ope. okay, barney. sheriff? huh? weren't you sort of rough on the kid? how's that? well... why, why don't you bail the little fella out? bail him out? well, yeah. it's just a window. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

uh, "bail him out," like you say, but the only-only trouble with that if, uh, if i was to do that, why, every time he'd get in trouble, he'd be expectin' me to come to the rescue, don't you see? uh, this time it's a broken window. later on, it'd be something bigger and then something bigger'n that... now, he's got... he's got to learn to stand on his own two legs now. oh, i got to keep that young 'un straight. oh, excuse me. i got to help with the ice cream. going there? oh, great. opie's doing a great job. good. when you going to put them strawberries in? not till just toward the last. barney: did you ever hear the one about...? andy? what's up, barney? i believe the boy's daddy's arrived. oh? yeah. a big, black limousine just pulled up--

sheriff taylor? arthur harrington. i'm j.j. bailey's attorney. oh, well, glad to see you. hi, mr. harrington. oh, ron... are you all right, my boy? i'm fine. good. we'll have you out of here in a matter of seconds. sheriff, i want to compliment you for being so conscientious in upholding the law. oh, well, thank you. the boy made a little mistake. you taught him his lesson and i'm sure we can let it go at that. sheriff, you can release him. i'll assume full responsibility. oh, well, that-that's fine, mr. harrington, but, uh, being a expert lawyer you-you understand i can't just let the boy go. i mean, there's-there's legalities and paperwork and stuff like that. why, of course. we don't mind waiting, sheriff. how long do you think it'll take? 'bout two days.

i see. and you don't think that you could possibly see your way to...? oh, no, no, no. i couldn't do that. no. uh-uh. well... i was hoping we could do this the easy way. however... would you come in, please? ( door closes ) i want to ask you a few questions, mr. dilbeck. wouldn't you say that that old truck of yours is a traffic hazard? and isn't it true that you were driving on the wrong side of the road and that the bailey boy did not hit you? in fact, you sideswiped his car. therefore, it was your fault and not his.

h? go on. tell him it's true. well, sheriff, what do you say to that? well, i'll say i hope fletch enjoys his new truck 'cause i got a feelin' he's gonna be a-drivin' one. all right, mr. harrington, you win. that's not the way it happened. huh? the accident was my fault. now, ron, you leave this to me. no, i'd rather not leave it to you. look, boy, i'm trying to help. i know that, mr. harrington, but the fact is... what are you trying to say? well, it-it's very difficult to put into words. it's just that it didn't happen the way you say. your father will never understand this.

that the boy busted a window

-keep moving. -nothing. no food or supplies. this village is empty. -empty? caesar doesn't want to hear empty. his army needs food. -pompey's soldiers came and took everything. we had no choice. we don't even have enough to feed ourselves. -they've been dealing with pompey, our enemy, -no. my husband serves with caesar's army. -the greek mercenary? -yes. -your husband's a good soldier. he knows the penalty for dealing with the enemy. javelins! -hold, centurion. -who are you? -phlanagus. amanda.