department heads prepare reports for tomorrow's briefing. all hands dismissed. i'd say that was a successful mission. five days in the gamma quadrant. commander... during our maneuvers through that asteroid belt on the kar-telos system i noticed thedefiant felt a little... sluggish when turning hard aport. inertial dampening generators may need realignment. i'll begin drawing up a schedule immediately. and while we're at it, we should recalibrate the targeting scanners and check the e.p.s. relays. o'brien will be a little disappointed. he thought he finally had the ship running smoothly. well, chief o'brien has done an excellent job. this is a fine ship.

at peek proficiency. mister worf... you're in love. with thedefiant. you exaggerate... as usual. (laughing) i feel silly. i like it. it shows off your legs. there you see-- your public has spoken. have fun. what do you call this holosuite program of yours again? the battle of clontarf-- you, me and a thousand stalwart irish warriors against a ravening hoard of vikings. it's like the battle of britain only with swords. how comeyout to be high king? i am a direct descendant of king brian boru. besides... it's my program.

(moaning) i know exactly how you feel. the bajoran time of cleansing. can someone explain to me why the bajorans need leasures for an entire month? i mean, it's not like they're a bunch of hedonistic holosuite-e-sessed drunkards to begin with. (moans) no use moaning about it. it hurts. who's that for? me. it's one of moogie's home remedies. your ear? again? that's disgusting.

i feel dizzy. what else is new? go wait on table seven. rom, you look terrible. dabo wheel rom,i don't pay you to think. . i really don't feel good. he's sick. he needs to lie down. just because you happen to be intimately acquainted with dr. bashir's bedside manner brototr, am i still standing? what i do during my time off is no business of yours. if you don't get back to work this instant you're going to have more time off than you know what to do with. the same goes for you. yes, brother. (thud) arenen you going to do something? of course, i'm going to do something.

broik, clele up this mess. [captioning sponsored by the u.s. department of education

oh, this is one stubborn infectionon how long have you had it? uh, a couple of weeks. you mean to tell me you've been walking around with a seeping infection of the tympanic membrane for two weeks? more like three, actually. rom! you could have died. another 48 hours

of the d dine treasury. i guess it's a good thing i fainted when i did. why didn't you come and see me sooner? i couldn't. i was busy. i'm sure your brother could have spared you for half an hour. it would have been a violation of my contract-- paragraph 76, subsection three. "employees of quark's bar and holding company "are strictly prohibited from leaving the work environment "during business hours "unless ordered to do so by their employer. "any failure to comply with this provision will result in severe fines and possible dismissal." it's a standard provision in all ferengi labor contracts. you mean, you don't get time off even if you're sick? it's all part of our... generous employee compensation package. "no sick days, no vacations, no paid overtime." it sounds to me like you need a better contract. there's no such thing. all ferengi labor contracts are the same. well, that should do it. but i want you to see memefirstg

what you people need is a union. a what? you know, a trade guild a collective bargaining association, a union-- something to keep you from being exploited. you don't understand. ferengi workers don't want tostopthe exploitataon. we want to find a way to become the exploiters. suit yourself. but i don't seeyou? exploiting anyone. rom... how'd it go? i'm ok. julian's a wonderful doctct. your brother should have let you see him weeks ago. it's not quark's fault that i got sick. i forgot to get my bimonthly ear scan. and besides, i've probably been getting too much oomox. really? who's the lucky female? no female. just t . i'm...

we could ask him. all right, everyone... gather around. what now i have an announcement to make. i've just been going over today's receipts and it's not good. isisy profit margin. so, starting tomorrow everyone's salary gets cut by a third. no, no, that's not fair. it's either that or fire half the staff. don't bother thanking me. i can't afford a pay cut. it's either a pay cut or a layoff. you decide. all right, everyone let's gegeback to work. i want this place cleaned up and the lights off in ten minutes. brother... this isn't right. you can't just cut people's salaries without warning. actually, i can.

now, why don't you concentrate on keeping your hands off your lobes and leave the business matters to me. but once the cleansing ritual is over you'll restore everyone's salary, right? that depends on next quarter's fiscal summation. brother, i'm asking you... as a personal favor to reconsider this pay cut. anything for you. um... there. i've reconsidered it. er... don't "brother" me. in this bar, you're not my brother. you're my employee. and employees have no right to question the management's decisions. i'm warning you. if you don't rescind the pay cuts... you're going to regret it. the only thing i regret... is not being an only child.

lly getting this mek'leth. don't you think? it would seem so. then why haven't you told me? a klingon warrior does not need the praise of his teacher. i'm not a klingon warrior. i'm a beautiful and sensitive young wowon who thrives on... what is it? listen. (faint rumbling) (yelps) do not move. isn't this your tooth sharpener? (snarling) this p'tak just robbed my quarters. take him to a holding cell. i'll need a statement. and yoyowill have one. but what i want to know is how such a security breach

unfortunately, these things happen. they did not happen on theenterprise. really. well, let me see. stardate 46235.7 "ferengi privaters, led by damin lurin seizededontrol theenterprise "using two salvaged klingon birds-of-prey. "stardate 45349.1. "berlinghoff rasmussen ntist "committed n nerous acts of theft against the crew of theenterprise." shall l continue? that will not be necessary. i know these incidents are the exception rather thahathe rule, but if security breaches like these could happen on the flagship of the federation imagine the difficulty of maintaining security at an openenort such as d.s. nine. i understand.

irritating. but i'm afraid you're just going to have to get used to it. can i have your attention? ththk you all for coming. i know that in the past, i've always defended my brother whenever he's taken n stance that's proven unpopular with the staff. (all agreeing) but i'm not going to do that today. you're not? no. i'm not. quark's just using the cleansing ritual... to increase his profits at our expense. (all agreeing) it isn't fair. and we're not going to take it. since when? since.e. right now. so what are we going to do about it? we're going to fight back in the only way we can. we're going to form a... a... a what?

a union. (crowd gasping)

you've just destroyed the lives of every ferengi in this room. when the f.c.a. finds out we've even been talking g a... a... t say that word again. we're in enough trouble as it is. the ferengi commerce authority doesn't have to hear about this. if we all go back to work now no one else has to know this ever happened. no, no! it's too late for that. the f.c.a. has s rs everywhere. as soon as their lobes get wind of this we're all doomed! (murmuring) all right! so we're doomed. f.c.a. liquidators will probably hahat us for the rest of our lives

let's give them a good reason. every one of you-- ferengi and non-ferengi alike-- knows that the way quark treats us is unfair. frool, don't you deserve a day off when your back starts acting up? well, uh... i suppose. and grimp... wouldn't you like to take a paid vacation? uestio you're being ridiculous. n. it's not going to happen! it won't happen unless you make it happen. 're ferengi! and when a ferengi sees an opportunity what does he do? he seizes it? that's right! and i, for one, intend t tgrab it. we've been exploited long enough. it's time to be strong take control of our lives our dignity and our profits! yes! yes! strike a blow against quark.

yes! strike a blow against exploitation! (all shouting): yes! are you with me? all: yes! union! (all chanting): union! union! union! union! whwh you have there is a sebaceous cyst. i know it's a cyst, but it's getting bigger. there's nothing. dermatologically speaking you're perfectly healthy. i'm perfectly healthy except i've got a disgusting cyst on the back of my neck. now either i paint a nose, eyes and mouth on it ff. well, i'll get you some paint. julian, get it off me! all right, all right. but you know what they sayay two heads are better than one. julian, i'm waiting. dr. bashiririt's important. i need your help. is that ear acting up again? my ear's fine. i need some advice about... unions. unions. you said the other day i should form a union, so i did.

and i've put your theory y to practice. all of quark's employees have joined. we're going to force quark to treat us better... i hope. a union, huh? good for you. who do you think led the pennsylvania coal miners during the anthracite strike of 1902? i have no idea. sean aloysius o'brien. i didn't know that. there's a lot of things about my family you don't know. 11 months those mines were closed and they didn't open again you mean we should force quark to close the bar. only a aa last resort. if he's reasonable about your requests there's no need to strike. quark reasonable? ha! unlikely. you'll have to strike-- mark my words-- and when you do, you'll have to be strong. exactly. you know, he had the biggest funeral in all of weweern pennsylvania.

a week before the strike ended. 32 bullets he had in him. or was it 34? well, he died a hero. he was more than a hero. he was a union man. i see the problem now. here. we'll have to replace the whole unit. how long will it take? two, three hours. then it'll work like a charm. until it breaks down again. that's the problem when you combine cardassian, bajoran and federation technology. none of it was meant to work together. how do you tolerate this environonnt? well, it's a lot easier than working on theenterprise. easier? theenterprisenever had these kind of problemsms.

sitting in the transporter room waiting for something to break down? here i've half a dozen new problems every day. this station needs me. oh, do me a favor. hand me down the coil spanner? if ts is a surprise birthday party you're a month late. we're the guild of restaurant and casino employees and we're he toresenturemands. eguilofesurant and casino employees? what's that supposed to be? what does it

like a union. exactly. so you'd better take our demands seriously. "increased pay... "shorter hours... (laughing): paid sick leave..." (guffawing) this is no joke. yes, it is. and the fact that you don't know that it is now get back to work before i fire the lot of you. you can't fire us. why not? because as of right now... we're all on strike. all: yeah!

thank you. thank you so much. (crowd murmuring) thank you. thank you. thank you for not patronizing quark's. r not papaonizing quark's. thank you for not patronizing quark's. i hope rom's voice e lds out. i hope our latinum holds out. ahh... you wawaed to see me? may i take your order, sir? quark, i'm in no mood for games. there seems to be an opening atathe dabo table or perhaps i might interest you

not again. are you carrying a tricorder or anything with a portable energy source? what are you talking about? i'm still working out the bugs in these holographph waiters. the lissepian who sold me the program neglected to mention that cererin energy sources can interfere with the imaging system. sounds like there's no end to the p pblems you're facing. i can take care of the lissepian. i need you to get those... traitorsaway from my front door. they're blocking access to my place of business causing a disturbance on the promenade andthey're probably a fire hazard. they belong in a holding cell! every last one of them well, i hate to admit this, but i agree with you. from what chief o'brien tells me about strikes, they sound like trouble. s.

it's not worth getting. good. then you'll haul them away. i'll do nothing of the sort. but you said... i know what i said but i have strict orders from captain sisko not to... impingeon your employees' freedom m expression. as long as they stay peaceful and allow your customers access through the second-level entrance i'm not allowed to interfere. that case, would you rving menks? hi! that case, would you i di sing menks? (sighs) what about the vulcan? with their sense of ethics definitely on the side of labor. pass. i say this one's an "enter." lucky guess.

mmm. quark isn't exactly his favorite person. wait a minute. i can't believe it. he's an "enter." not for long. where are you going? to talk some sense into him. commander! hold on! i cannot believe what i'm seeing. sir. if i could explain... three of my senior staff, brawling on the promenade. sir, we weren't brawling. maybe you should take a closer look at dr. bashir's forehead. he shouldn't have got in the way. i was try... i was trying tostopthe fight. we werenotfighting. then what were you doing? well, we... having a difference of opinion. yeah, i suppose... towards the end there, we might have... done a bit of shoving. according to odo

that was an accident. it was just that things got a little out of hand. thingsgot more than a little out of hand. her find a way to settle this strike e. uh, captain? can we leave now? i'll tell constable odo to let you go... in the morning. well, i hope you're proud of yourselves. captain, believe me-- i want this strike settled as much as you do. then settle it. it's not that simple. make it simple. sit down with your brother and hammer out an agreement today. nd what a delicate situation this is.

maybe i don't know much about ferengi culture but i do know who holds the lease on your bar. the federation. and i couldn't ask for better landlords. that's because we don't ask you to pay your rent or to reimburse us for your maintenance repairs or the drain on the station's power supply. you're a very generous people. until today. let's see. five years of back rent a lot. that's right. i'll talk to my brother. i'm glad we're in agreement. (door chimes) come in. what do you want?

what's this? it's the amount of latinum i'm willing to transfer into your private account if you'll just end this strike. are we talking about slips, strips or bars? slips. (exhales sharply) all right, strips. it wouldn't matter if it wererears. i'm not going to end the strike unless you meet our demands. rom, we shouldn't be fighting-- we're brothers. we're nothing but employer and employee. you've said so yourself. i was wrong. no. you weren'n't. rom, can't we talk about this? there's only one thing i have to say to you. "workers of the world unite.

what's happened to youou? ah. it's about time you got back. brunt. that's liquidator brunt to you. e. who could forget? what do you want? quark, don't worry. i'm here to help. the ferengi commerce authority has ordered me to end this nasty little labor dispute of yours. how do you propose to do that?