i don't blame you. but buying a gun is not the answer. a lot of faculty have them. yeah, and i can just about guess which ones. i'm nonodoing this because... i just hate being scared all the time! ooh! strike on the extra frame! that is 1-6-5. i can keep score. let's double up on this game and call it the last. 20 bucks? let's be bold. how about $50? how about $100? there you go! another beer? miss, two beers. yes! that's three in a row.

ever think about trading in that old mustang? i like my car. it was my dad's. i'm sorry. i was just asking. i didn't know. i guess you were right about my luck. yeah. okay. 1-7-0 for tom. 231 for old bob. nice game... bob. that's the best i've done in quite a while. listen, i'm sorry about ththcar. that was just salesman's instinct. that's all right. here you go. why don't you hold on to that?

and i told you 160. i was hustling you. you were hustling me. why? that's the only way i could figure out if you were hustling me. i was. there's something i've been wanting to ask you. what are your plans withthy mom? don't you think that's between me and your mom? i know you're not real happy about this. i'm sorry you're not happy about it. you seem like a nice guy. but nice guy or not it doesn't change that i love your mother. if this thing works out, i'm going to marry her. you been married before? yes, sir, i have. more than once??

sure. your mother knows all this. i don't exexct you to fall in love with me because i go out bowling with you but i've been honest with you. the guy who marries your mother may be a bad guy. i'm just asking you to give me a chance. hey, what's going on up there? i'm flying first class back here. ( alarm sounds ) what have you got, jo-jo? nothing, man. what's this? my letter-opener. a switchblade? i have to open mail fast-- i'm a busy man. my office, right away! what about my rights? we'll write you a letter. what about t ts guy? mr. bernard. frisk him and make him go through the detector. ( alarm sounds ) it's my keys.

jeez. put it in the box. do i have to? yes, you have to. guaranteed return delivery. inside. 10 bucks. tell your friends, cosmo never lies.

i may not need one. i got a buy set up with cosmo. make the bust before the kids restock this armory. what about the teachers? they can't be randomly searched or the evidence isislown. we got lucky with bernard. that's great. nonoonder they're armed. i don't make the laws... i just enforce them. ... and i want those assignments turned in tomorrow! what? jo-jo, i'll talk to you later. have you thought about my reading offer? ( sighs ) i don't knkn, man. you're trying to figure out what my angle is. yeah. look, i know on the streets you got to be cool

ut a job application or ordering in a decent restaurant or finding a street on a map you'd better learn to read. because after you leave here, nobody will care. are you really a teacher? because you sure don't sound like any i've known. hey, j.j.-- the store's over here. will this blow up in my face like billy's? not a chance. that's quality merchandise you got in your hands. how much? seventy-five plus ammo.

ll. i trusted you! the only woman you should trust is your parole officer. move it! a cop steals my boyfriend? that makes him as stupid as you. drop the gun, lynette! why? ( gunfire ) you're under arrest! i'm a better shot than you.

the other side feels compelled to do the same. it happens in countriessand it . we've got to protect ourselves. ( class murmurs agreement ) from who? from others trying to protect themselves? why are you so smart about law and order?

mr. antonini, how are you? are you okay? how are you feeling? much better. thank you. i'm recovering quite well. yes. you look marvelous. we've got your things packed. obably want to say hello to everyone. i'm afraid mr. montgomery'y' not here today. he's downtown. we had another unfortunate incident yesterday. that's too bad. how's my class doing? look, the only reason tito carried a gun was because the teachers treated him like dirt.

an? hmm? we turn our classroom into a battlefield? hey, man, maybe he's right. well, listen to mr. einstein, here. he can't even read the menu in mcdonalds. don't give me that, jo-jo. you can't read so good either. intercom: mr. honeycut? please report to the office immediately. derek. keep the class cool. i'll be right back.

( students talking and laughing ) it's good to be here.

we were on the sun. very good. the sun. jo-jo: yeah, the sun, antonini. we left off on the sun. s that you raise your hand. now, the sun is actually a controlled nuclear explosion. this is captain fuller. we may have a wrinklklhere. i want back-up units right away. roll them in silent. thanks.

will not last forever. and when it dies... the guy's really messed up. be cool, man! ( gunshot ) ...destroying the earth with its immense heat. i would appreciate your full attention from now on, mr. fort. otherwise, i might feel compelled to put a hole in your head. anyone have a problem with that? ah, good! let's continue. hurry, i think it's here. physical sciences. relax, honeyeyt, we're here. harry, go on the east flank. we'll come from here. we'll corner the punk. the punk is antonini and you're under arrest.

then there's nothing to worry about. hey, i got a permit. it's not valid on school property and you know it. we're on your side. you're as big a problem as they are. by the way, you're all under arrest. get me a master key. antonini: it's very frustrating that a few troublemakers ruin the learning experience ol's policy concerning this place haha i think... right there! don't move! hands on the desk. do what he says, man. do it! get up.

say... "please." please. please, mr. antonini. leave him alone! shut up! please, mr. antonini! please, mr. antonini! police! ( students scream m look out! is everybody all right? yeah, everything's cool. hey, man, look, i'm sorry.

thanks, derek. you'u' under arrest, jo-jo. look, man, i'm sorry. i did it for you! think of tito! out of here! derek: i did it for you! i didn't want you to die!

you just moved in with this guy two days ago. it was a mistake. i jumped too soon. why? i don't want to talk about it. tell me what happened. no chemistry. chemistry? my mother has chchistry? you were all over each other the other day. well, yeah, but the more you live with somebody the more you get to know them. mom, it's been two days. is there something you're not telling me? tom, can we speak one adult to another? yeah. you won't be upset? no, come on, what is it? tom, bob... because you're my mother... bob wasn't very good in bed.

pack the car. gee, i didn't think you'd be so squeamish. there were other problems, too. it just wasn't right. maybe yoyore being a little hard on him-- comparing him with dad? maybe. i don't know. it just felt like i moved too fast. didn't you know he had this problem before? 230 average, huh? [captioning sponsored by fx networks

come up, gentlemen. come up. theodora has arrived. ladies too. come up and meet the woman... ...who will bring health, beauty and joy to all. theodora is a goddess who will soon appear before you. where you hiding her, little fella? under here, huh? no, big fellow. under here, i hide only myself... ...no better than the dove that you hide in your jacket...

now, ladies and gentlemen... ...you will meet a goddesssswho. not even a priceless secret of health, happiness, and beauty. theodora! ! e first secret theodora will share with you... ...is the dance of truth, taught to theodora...

theodora, ladies and gentlemen... ...sharing with you the secret dance of truth. but that ain't the whole truth. she's got more veils.

l allow. however, there is another truth... ...which the law cannot prevent theodora... ...from sharing fully withthou all. theodora's elixir! discovered on her travels through a faraway land.... ...where it was called "the medicine of the gods." it transformed a frail and sickly girl... ...into the goddess of beauty you've seen dance. what's it supposed to do for all of us, teach us to dance? given with affection, it has lifted the spirits of women... past the age of 90. now, although she has seen miraculous cures... ...of countless diseases, theodora promises nothing.g. ... only that you will never again... ...have the opportunity to buy this fabulous elixir... ...ridiculously priced at only $2 a bottle. when's she gonna finish the dance? it is finished. however, for $2, you can be comforted... ...with a bottle of theodora's elixir.

...if it's magic enough to straighten you up, little man! hold him, boys! stop it! you gonna finish the dance? -the dance is over. -you got all them veils left. the dance is over! then i guess i'm just gonna have to keep on pouring. he has done you no harm.

ll that chinaman. watch out! niebo! what's going on? we was just having a a ttle fun, sheriff. this chinaman here started causing trouble. knives and guns ain't fun. it's her fault, sheriff. she started taking her clothes off. ma'am, that comes under the heading of creating

-and who's your companion? -niebo. and this gentleman came to our aid. and what are you doing in town, stranger? i am passing through. well, i'm just gonna have to ask you all to leave. this is a free country. and i'm a free woman. ma'am, i have enough problems with law and order here... ...and a half-breed to my problems... ...so, as sheriff, i'm gonna have to ask you to move on. what if we refuse? well, i don't think you'd take kindly to our jail. a ride?

corfu? what a beautiful name. it's a beautiful island in a very old part of the world.

yes, master. and at his m mning. each is free to move, yet each is held captive. are we not also? the temple doeoenot hold us. we have only to open the door. are we then free to go anywhere we choose even up into the heavens? we, too, are captive, just as these. then why do i speak to you of freedom? it puzzles me, master. is your mindndot free to seek its own course... ...to soar even to the heavens... ...though you turn and spin within a prison?

...truly free. bind yourself to nothing. seek harmony with all. then you will be truly free. were you free in china? what is free? doing exactly as i wish, seeking joy and pleasure. knowing thatat'm not a slave to any man. is that possible in china? no. not in europe either. not for a woman. do you think it's wrong for a woman to want freedom?

er agreed with me on that. isn't that so, niebo? yes. niebo, you haven't thanked this gentleman for helping you. thank you for helping me. niebo sometimes resents being helped. i don't. get the money, wade. -frank, you have to do this? -you can't travel without money. -how long are we gonna look? -till i find theodora.

you're thehenly brother i got. she's not gonna walk out on me, wade! i'm gonna find that woman. come on. -she send you to help me? -no. then go back to the wagon. i don't need your help. it pleases me to givivit. when will you be leaving us?

i'll get your chair from the wagon. you are as beautiful as a goddess. he likes to do things in a certain way... ...and i feel i owe it to him to dress accordingly. after you've been with us for a while, you'll understand. i will leave soon. you find my compananunpleasant? no. i welcome your company... ...but i must follow my own path.

are? someone wants to k kl me. i need your protection. i'm afraid.

when i came here, he had his hands.... i thought he was hurting you. go. leave us. forgive me. i wish only that which pleases theodora. who is this man who you are afraid of? now will you help me?

theodora! are e u alright? -my mandolin! -theodora. -y-y're not hurt? -no. how did it happen? i'll fix it. we'll never get out of here! i'll fix it. don't worry. i will help you?

you'll need caine's help. in all the years you've known me...

young man. i have these to sell. i made them myself. we have our own... ...and they are better. ood? you look hungry. i have eaten well today. i do every day.

master. that man suffers for want of food. did he not say he had eaten well? he does not speak truly. he is weak from hunger. perhaps his desire for dignity is greater than his need of food? perhaps pride is the only crown he has left to wear. would you not truly help him

it cannot be done. perhaps there is some other way. then you do it! is there something to dig with? in the wagon. niebo, get him the shovel. it's his way, let him get the shovel. i cannot do it alone. it will need two men... ...in harmony, working together. well, then, we cannot do it your way... ...for there is only one man here. isn't that right, theodora?

niebeb i've never seen you act like this. what's wrong? isn't it clear? you've never been jealous before. don't you know you'll always be my first love? -who will be your last? -no one, i hope. then send this one away. he treats you differently. you act differently. even if that's so... ...what does that have to do with what i feel for you? make theodora happy. show mr. caine how useful niebo can be.

i tried to conjure up a man for you... ...but all i could manage was mr. rabbit and mr. dove. but since mr. rabbit and mr. dove refuse to work...