( whistling sprightly tune ) starring andy griffith... with ronny howard.

oh, i hope it's good. it'll be fine. i'll get washed up. i don't know how he does it but he's got a knack of hittin' a note just enough off to make your skin crawl. oh, andy, everybody can't sing. you've got to be tolerant of him. barney: ? 'nita, juanita. ? ? ah-dah-dah-dee dah-da-da-da ? have a sandwich, barney. yeah, fill up your mouth there, barn. eat slow.

all right. ( door opening ) well, howdy, john. bee: hello, john. hello, bee. andy: well, what's the trouble? andy, i've got to talk to you. well, won't you have a sandwich? no. no, thank you. andy, we've got a big problem with the choir. we have? ralph pritchard is dropping out. oh, no. no, he's not. yes, sir. with his new job he's on the road two weeks out of three so he has to step out. what in the world are we going to do about a first tenor? i just don't know, andy. bee: what about fred mason? works nights, can't make practice-- and with that concert coming up we need plenty of practice. we sure do that. how about rick jackson? maybe he's a tenor now that he's had his tonsils and... no. no? he's got that foghorn voice even with his passages cleared out. ordinarily, it wouldn't be so bad. we could get by but the judges of the state contest will be there. andy: that's right.

't even be considered for the finals at roanoke. bee: after us working so hard all year. yeah, it's tough, all right. as my old voice teacher used to say a choir without its tenor is like a star without its glimmer. you know who used to say that? my old voice teacher. that's the teacher i had when i studied voice. barney, you have a trained voice? i didn't know you studied singing. oh, well, just a little. uh, john... this could solve everything. what part did you sing? oh, first tenor. oh, tenor. john... well, barney, how about you joining the choir? me? with all your training you're just what we've been looking for. well, gosh... gee... golly, i never gave that much thought. did you, andy?

oh, with that concert coming up in less than two weeks, we're desperate. oh, well... i guess i wouldn't be a very civic-minded citizen if i refused, would i? you can count on old barn, john. i'll step in and help you out. when's practice? tonight at town hall. you can come along with andy. right, sheriff? oh, yeah, yeah. i'll bring him. barney, that's just wonderful. isn't that just wonderful, bee? yes. barney, speaking for the whole choir, welcome aboard. well, thank you, john. wait till thelma lou hears about this. she'll be thrilled. barney's going to be in the choir? my barney? that's right. but barney can't sing. i know. he's a warm, wonderful person and i love him dearly, but he can't sing. that's true. he's kind, considerate the most gentle person i've ever known but he can't sing. you're right. he's the man i want to marry,

not a lick. well, i'm afraid he's gonna sing and there's nothing we can do about it. john masters already welcomed him aboard. what's going to happen at choir practice tonight? well, i expect everybody will find out barney can't sing. not a lick. ( barney singing off-key): ? welcome, sweet springtime ? ? we greet thee in song... ? oh, oh... shh. folks, i think i detected a little flat note there. well, perhaps i'm mistaken. but let's just try it again, shall we? hazel... ? welcome, sweet springtime ? ? we greet thee in song... ? no, no, no, no. shh. folks... i definitely heard it this time. someone is definitely singing off-key. now, let's just watch it, shall we?

what? maybe i can help you out. i'll sort of move around, see if i can spot who it is. very good, barney. hazel... ( off-key ) ? welcome, sweet springtime ? ? we greet thee in song ? ? murmurs of gladness ? ? fall on the ear ? ? voices long hushed now their full notes prolong ? ( others stop singing ) ? echoing far and near... ? i think you cut out a little too soon. i didn't have a chance to spot who it was. keep it going. you sure he didn't follow you? oh, no.

e back way. good. well, thelma lou, i guess you know why i called this emergency meeting. i'm going to tell barney to get out of the choir. now, john, you can't kick him out the very day you asked him to join. i've got to, andy, or he'll ruin the choir. well, there's bound to be another way. uh, thelma lou, you're his girl... oh, no, i-i couldn't. aunt bee, he likes you. well, why me? andy, you're his friend. oh, no. no, no, no, no. then i'll tell him. no. you can't do that, john. what do you suggest? maybe he'll fall down and break his mouth. ( doorbell rings ) andy: hi, john. hi. come on in. how are you?

you sure did wait till the last minute to change the meeting place. how come? we figured we had to have one practice without barney so's we get an idea of where we're going. the poor boy. he'll be expecting us all over at town hall. that's the truth. well, i had to do something. that concert is a week from tonight and we haven't sung one number through on key. ( all agreeing ) well, of course, there's always the alternative. i could tell him to his face. no... oh, no. don't do that. we'll do it. bee... thelma lou... andy... thank you. all right now. now, everybody-- 14a, from the beginning. everybody ready? now a nice group, please... nice group. ready? hazel... ( playing introduction ) ? welcome, sweet springtime ? ? we greet thee in song ?

? voices long hushed ? ? now their full notes prolong... ? ( doorbell ringing repeatedly ) ( doorbell continues ringing ) hi, john. hi, everybody. hi, barn. golly, it's a lucky thing i turned down elm street and heard the singing. next time you change the meeting place you ought to let a fella know. who's the phone committee? oh, uh, didn't anybody call you, barn? no, they didn't. i'm sorry, barney. i don't know how that oversight came about. well, no harm done. all's well that ends well. here i am. let's get started. oh, good old 14a. ( clearing throat ) ( humming )

-me-me, aaah... ? okay. hazel... ( piano introduction ) ? welcome, sweet springtime ? ? we greet thee in song ? ( off-key ) ? murmurs of gladness... ? i'm sorry, andy, but my mind is made up. this cannot go on. the concert is day after tomorrow and i will not have it ruined well? what's it to be? you or me? all right, john, if it's got to be done i guess it's our place to do it. thelma lou, you and barney come on over to the house tonight and we'll try to think of some way to keep him from showing up at that concert. well, all right, but how? well, after supper, we'll, we'll take him in and set him down, and talk to him-- reason with him, explain it all to him--

yeah, that was really good to eat, yeah. i believe i'll have some more of that coffee. uh, hey, barn? huh? there's, uh... there's something we've been wanting to talk with you about. something we've been thinking about the choir. and i bet i know just what it is. the way we been singing good old 14a leaves a lot to be desired. listen, while we're all here why don't we get in a little extra practice? well, that's... well, it wouldn't hurt none, you know? no matter how good we are there's always room for imovement. none of us is perfect. come on, thelma lou you can tickle the old ivories. sit right down here now. one thing about singing, you never get too much practice. that's what my voice teacher used to say.

that's the place, i believe. all right. ? me...me...me. ? okay, everybody ready? all right. ( barney singing off-key ): ? welcome, sweet springtime we greet thee in song ? somebody sounds terrible. ? murmurs of gladness fall on the ear ? barn... ? voices long hushed now their full notes prolong ? hey, hold it. hold it! did somebody hit a sour note? worse than that. open up your mouth. huh? open your mouth. i want to see something. ah... ah... ah... ah... oh-oh. oh-oh? aunt bee you and thelma lou look, see if you see it. open up. ah. oh, it's all red! it's red as can be. it is? yes. and swelled up. oh, there's a lump in there that big.

i mean, not very. it's likely it just started. you'll be feeling it in a few hours. you better get to bed. get to bed?! for how long? there's the concert and everything! forget about tha huh? forget about it? not be in it? leave you without a first tenor? well, it'll be a blow to the group. there's no doubt about that but, well, it can't be helped. but, andy, i think i can make it. barney, you have to think of the others. i mean, their health. you have to think of their health. even if you could make it all over everybody else, would you? honey, i'll take you home. now go along with her, barney. and don't you think about the concert. you just think about getting well. but to be this close... rest, barney, rest. ( door buzzer sounds ) who could that be at this hour? i don't know.

barney, what are you doing here? andy, i got great news! my throat ain't sore after all. how'd you find out? he insisted on stopping by doc kravits. this was important. i didn't want to let the group down. i figured maybe he could give me one of them miracle drugs or something. you know what the miracle was? there ain't nothing wrong with my throat. my throat ain't no different than anybody else's. that's what the doc said. good old doc. you know that lump you seen? that's the uvula. everybody's got one. open your mouth. there's the old uvula. you got a uvula. they got a uvula. i got a uvula. all god's children got a uvula. hallelujah. it's just incredible how a man can sing so flat and talk so normal. yup. shame barney can't talk his part. yeah. hi, everybody. sorry i'm late.

was just discussing a new idea that involves you. oh, yeah? something to do with the group? you better know it has. uh, we're going to make you soloist. right, john? soloist? yeah. soloist? me? yeah, and you're going to have your own microphone and everything! i am? oh, yeah. we have to keep you way separate from the group. you do? yeah. that's so your recitations will stand out. my recitations? number. and you're going to do 'em. you mean i don't get to sing? i just talk? oh, it will be so effective. won't it? ( all agreeing ) effective! right in the middle of all this singing will come your dramatic voice... speaking your part. won't that be effective? ( all agreeing ) well, if you're all agreed i guess the least i can do is give her a try. oh, good, good.

'll do 14a. and when we get to the second verse you talk it, right? okay, good old 14a? let's start at "voices long hushed." all right, andy. now, talk. hazel. ? voices long hushed now their full notes prolong ? ? echoing far and near ? ( group humming ) "balmy and life-breathing breezes are blowing. swiftly to nature, new vigor bestowing." ? oh, how my heart ? ? beats with rapture anew ? hold it! you're supposed to be talking. oh, it's no use, andy. can you tell a bird to talk? can you tell a bird to just go chirp, chirp, chirp? no, andy, i'm like a bird. i was born to sing. barney, barney, barney. if you'll excuse me

i better give myself a couple squirts. you still want to go through with it? let him sing solo? no, andy, no. wait a minute, john. it'll work. it come to me yesterday when i saw barney listening to a phonograph record. now, listen. barney'll do the solos all right. but it won't be with his voice. you see, barney, he'll be on stage singing into a dead microphone. the live microphone will be backstage it's as simple as that. but glen cripe is not a tenor. it'll work, john. how are you going to keep barney quiet? even though his microphone is dead people can still hear him. i already got that worked out. just leave it to me and don't worry. this here is a solo microphone. very, very, sensitive. this thing will amplify your voice a thousand times. really strong, huh?

every eardrum in the auditorium. what do i do? you have to sing real low, real low. now try it. okay. ( clears throat ) ? balmy and life... ? hold it. hold i too loud. low. ? balmy and life... ? that's still too loud, barney. when i mean low, i mean real low. it don't take much to be heard. try it again. try it again, okay. ? balmy and life-breathing breezes are blowing ? was that all right? that's still too loud, barney. still way yonder too loud. believe me, now tomorrow night, when this microphone's hot and the amplifiers are amplifying and the acoustics and all... why, i tell you what. you just keep singing softer and softer and when you got it about right i'll tell you. okay.

? balmy and life... ? ? balmy and... ? ? balmy and... ? ( no audio ) that's it! that's it! that's it! you got it! now you do it just like that and you'll come through fine. andy, i was barely making a sound. you think you was barely making a sound but tomorrow night when this microphone's on and you sing like that will reverberate all through this hall. won't it, gang? ? welcome, sweet springtime, we greet thee in song ? ? murmurs of gladness fall on the ear ?

? ooh ? ? sunshine now wakes all the flowers from sleep ? ? joy-giving incense floats on the air ? ? snowdrops and primrose both timidly peep ? ? paling the glad new year ? ( deep voice ): ? balmy and life-breathing breezes are blowing ?

? oh, how my heart beats with rapture anew ? ? earth's fairest beauty again meets my view ? ? sunshine now wakes all the flowers from sleep ? ? joy-giving incense floats on the air ? ? snowdrops and primrose both timidly peep ? ? paling the glad new year ?

gabrielle (offscreen): [humming] [snoring] [bird squawking] -oh, i hate that. it's late. gabrielle?