thth( whistling sprightly tune ) starring andy griffith... with ronny howard.

( all speaking at once ) i believe we've got most of the details pretty well ironed out. now, all we have to do is to figure some way to interest a outsider in it. yeah, well, i'll, oh... yes, you see we go to all this trouble puttin' on founders day. it certainly seems to me that we ought to get more outsiders to come and see it. yeah, that's a stickler, all right. how do we stir up interest? well, well, i-i had a thought on that.

well, it seems to me the way to interest outsiders would be to involve a outsider. ( stuttering ) well, just exactly what do you mean by that? well, see we call mayberry the friendly city. suppose we be friendly to somebody. suppose we take a outsider, somebody not from mayberry and make him a guest of honor. we get all the merchants to chip in and give something... that could be a really good-sized attraction. get out some publicity. i bet we could draw people from all over the county. from this whole state maybe. what do you think? nice, uh... and, yes. i think it's an amazing coincidence. huh? that's exactly the same idea i had. oh, back there where it was a real stickler? a little after that. it sounds like a good idea to me, andy. yeah, i go along with art. let's bring it up to the town council and if they go along with it well, we'll get to work on it. only thing, how we going to pick this guest of honor?

they's a real simple way of doing it. suppose we go out to the city limits on the morning of founders day and we stop the first car that's being driven by somebody not from mayberry. and that'll be our guest of our honor. that's good. that's good. sound fair enough? it's just amazing! what? that's the same idea i had again. well, we do think alike, don't we? well, great minds. do you know, andy we can really play this thing up big. "welcome to mayberry." we'll have the band there. we'll give 'em the old police escort into town with the sirens blastin'. give 'em the works! ( chattering enthusiastically ) that's amazing! huh? that's the same idea i had. so i hereby declare you official temporary deputies of the mayberry police force.

ds down. boys, this is it. now, there's going to be a whole lot more folks in town today than usual-- it being founders day and all. so let's just make sure that everything goes smooth and extend the courtesy of mayberry to everybody. you know, answer questions, give directions and just anything that folks might want. and you better wear your caps so that folks'll recognize you. uh, sheriff, i, uh, i have something to say. now, men, i have just one thing to say. this isn't going to be kids stuff... uh, barney...? sheriff, if you don't mind. now, there won't be room for any mistakes out there. one mistake is one too many. and you'll each be on your own.

that badge means something! don't any of you disgrace it! i won't, sir. did you have permission to talk? no, sir. what's your badge number? three. all right, three, watch it! now listen, men, and listen good. there's liable to be trouble out there today. we're liable to have folks among us than just a good time, if you know what i mean. now, the minute it looks like there's going to be trouble we got to nip it, nip it in the bud! you got that? let's hear it! in the bud! sir, may i ask something? badge number? two. all right, two, go 'head.

no, i'm afraid not, gentlemen. i'm afraid there won't be any time to educate you men in the proper use of firearms. somebody could get hurt. you see, if you're not familiar with firearms, these babies can go off. now... ( gunshot ) uh, you see what i mean? now, i did that just to show you what could happen. well, uh, that's, uh... that's all, boys. let's just get on out to the city line and welcome our guest of honor. all right, let's move! hup-two-three-four! tuck in that gut! hup-hup-hup...

this is where we leave you... or rather you leave us. now get going and don't ever let us catch you in pierce county again. ahh, what a touching farewell speech. on second thought, get out. what for? i want to make sure you leave here clean. come on. what's this? the chief's watch. well, he wouldn't give me the time so i had to take it. get out of here before i lose my temper. ng. hey, here comes something. i sure don't recognize this car. come on. all right, now, you all the same way.

now, hold it, hold it, hold it, fellows. hold it, hold it. howdy. what's wrong officers? i'm -- i'm just a stranger passing through. oh, we know. we know. you know what? uh, could i ask your name? well, i... you mean, you don't know who i am? well, 'course not. well, no, i... ( laughing ) yes, i, my name is thomas a. moody and i'm, i'm, i'm a traveling salesman. well, mr. thomas a. moody, this is your lucky day. andy: that's right. we cordially invite you to be mayberry's guest of honor for the day. what for? why, to help us celebrate founders day. see, it's a annual celebration

yeah, you get to go to all the stores and you get free gifts and everything. you would be mayberry's guest. well, uh... then you accept? well, i would be a crass bore indeed to refuse such kind and trusting hospitality. good, good, good, good. floyd, have you got the key? key? oh! thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. mr. moody...? thomas a. mr. thomas a. moody, i hereby present you the key to mayberry. ( band playing )

all right, folks. all right, all right. all right, boys. hold it, boys. hold it. all right, quiet down now, everybody. folks, i'd like to introduce to you our guest of honor-- mr. thomas a. moody. all right, quiet. quiet right down. mr. moody, mayberry is yours. thank you, sheriff. members of the committee, ladies and gentlemen of mayberry, it's awfully hard to know what to say on an occasion such as this. i'll tell you one thing, though. it's never happened to me before. when your sheriff just said that mayberry is mine... you've no idea what this means to me. what can i say?

but i do want to tell you what a thrill this is for me, and i want to thank you, each and every one, for making this moment possible. but enough of this talk, let me thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. and now, ladies and gentlemen, if you'll excuse me i'll go to my hotel room and freshen up a bit before starting on that generous journey through the bazaar's of mayberry. ( band playing ) all right, folks, hold it, hold it. now, a-as you know, we're scheduled to meet in front of crowley's market at exactly 10:31 to start the tour of our merchant stores.

oh, andy, i-it's exactly, uh... well, it's, uh... what time is it?

yeah, yeah. well, that checks, that checks-- that's him, all right. huh? is that right? every county, huh? uh, no, no, i don't know why he stopped here in mayberry but don't you worry. we'll send him packin' in a hurry. right -- right, fred. thank you. andy: barney, what are you doing here? where is davis? davis? that's our guest of honor's real name-- sheldon davis. he's a known thief and pickpocket.

our guest of honor? oh, no! i left him under a hot towel at floyd's for his complimentary shave and a haircut. well, he can't steal too much under circumstances like that. we'll just have to keep a eye on him. andy, this is terrible! it's the very thing we've been tryin' to guard against. we'll have to run him out of town. yeah, we'll have to, but we can't. well, why not? well, we did pick him for our guest of honor and he'll have to be that. w-we'll just have to watch him. when we see him try to steal something we'll nab him. yeah, i guess so. andy, i was against this whole guest of honor business right from the beginning. i thought you was thinkin' the exact same thing right at the time. oh, now you're tryin' to pass the buck, huh, andy? that's pretty small, pret-ty small. but i'm willing to share the blame if it'll make you feel any better. ( sniffs ) you're all heart, barn.

d. not if we watch him. we'll watch him till the end of the day's festivities. now, that's six hours from now. six hours, huh? yeah, i guess we'll just have to wait it out and be ready for anything. ...two, hut-two, hut-two, hut-two, hut-two, hut-two hut-two, hut-two, detail... halt! hut-ho. i just... i'm checkin' in, chief. everything is under control, chief. there's nothing to worry about in mayberry today. get them out of here. all right, out, out, out! out! wait a minute... come on, out! out! out! oh, well, fine! get floyd back here. number three! number three reporting, sir. chief wants to talk to ya. i thought you was givin' our guest of honor a shave. i did, sir. where is he? he went to the hotel room to freshen up a bit.

you're dismissed, three. oh... ( sighs ) i tell you, madge, i've stumbled into shangri-la. i've had the whole town to myself. they've taken me around to all their stores, showered me with gifts, and now they're waiting for me at the public square to watch the founders day pageant, and... but listen, i don't think i'll show up. ah, it sure is takin' him a long time to freshen up. he can't do much damage. yeah. you know, andy, it's a shame about these fellas that steal. yeah, they ought not to do that. i was readin' an article about 'em in one of the police magazines... "kleptaminaracks" they call 'em. what? kleptaminaracks. what's a kleptaminarack?

oh. excuse me, chief. floyd, what are you doin' here? well, i heard you say that you were going to come over here. the reception committee is at your office and they want to know the order of events for the founders day pageant. oh, i better get down there and see if i can keep this thing glued together. barney, you... all right, floyd, dismissed. right, chief. oh. you stay here and keep a eye on davis and don't you let that bird leave here without you. can you handle it? i-i-i'm sorry. i'll probably be back before he comes out. take your time. i can handle it. i believe i'll have a little talk with him. the main thing i got to do is shake these characters. then i can make one good haul before i leave... ( knocking ) hang on. yes? deputy fife. come in, deputy. yes, good-bye, mama. yes, i'll tell you all about it when i see you.

that was mama. she's so proud of me being mayberry's guest of honor. ah, that's just fine. it's nice when your mom's proud of ya. course, i've known a lot of men whose moms weren't proud of 'em. that's because they were rotten. and it's sad, too-- you know, fellas who've taken the wrong road when they could so easily have just taken the right one-- you know, men who could become decent, happy citizens just throwin' their lives away. ah, i think it's a shame when they do that. don't you think it's a shame when they do that? hmm? oh, shame, yeah... it's such a shame. yeah. i know why they do it, too. they're bitter. you know, they figure nobody trusts 'em. it's the old nobody-trusts-'em complex.

don't happen to be one of them people that don't trust people. i happen to be one of them people that does trust people, and you know what i find? i find that when you do trust people, they trust you back. lookee here... you see these keys? now, they're the keys to every store in mayberry. now, that means every storekeeper in this town trusts me. oh... gee. you do? yes. i've always wanted somebody to have faith in me. you know, trust me. i know. say, did you ever notice how these 21-jeweled wristwatches with the pure gold bands sorta... sorta pinch your wrist? yeah, they sure do pinch your wrist.

right there and kinda... kinda rub my wrist a little bit-- let some air get to it. yeah, yeah, i always say "if you can't trust your fellow man, why... what good are ya?" ( chuckles ) this old world'd be a mighty poor place to live in if you couldn't... what do ya know? ( chuckles ) i got to him. w-when we sing the mayberry song let's be sure and get the words right. that's, "mayberry'll shine tonight, mayberry'll shine. "when the moon comes up and the sun goes down, mayberry'll shine." you got that? okay, fine. better get out copies on it. ( sighs ) ( barney whistling )

what are you doin' here? where's uh, uh...? you mean, uh...? yeah. where is he? oh, he's gone. he's gone?! uh, uh, all right, boys, out, out, out, out. go out and march around town. then patrol, then check and see how the town is. go ahead. where's davis? oh, i wouldn't worry too much about davis if i were you. i had a little talk with him. you had a talk with him? right, about truth and honesty and then i took off my wristwatch and i put it on the table, then i turned my back. ( chuckles and sniffs ) i 'spect he's down the town square waitin' for us. where's your keys? hmm? your keys! where's your keys? oh, my gosh... come on. everything is okay in mayberry.

"oh, what a tangled web we weave

xena (offscreen): gabrielle, i'm all for your spiritual quest. and india is a fine place to go. but remind me why we decided to take the scenic route. gabrielle (offscreen): come on. ins are a holy place. -no, no, no, no, no. i don't care about the local legends. i'm talking about the local thugs that tried to cut us up in the pass. -well, i'd apologize again. the truth is, i think you enjoyed it. -having my leg gashed open? -no, having a good reason to bust a head. -that's ridiculous.