all clear ahead, captain. the sensors indicate zero register. forward readings, mr. spock. gravimetric readinin- no significant change, zero space density. ahead warp factor 3, mr. sulu. pplies. we'll get across this void in a hurry. void, stardust-- the word conjures up pictures of dunes, oases, mirages... sunlig, palm trees. we're 900 light years from that kind of desert, bones. the precise meaning of the word desert is a waterless, barren wasteland. i fail to understand your romantic nostalgia for such a place. it doesn't surprise me, mpock.

those mathematically perfect brain waves of yours. thank you, dr. mccoy. moving on schedule into quadrant 904, beta 6... is 8 days distant. something,r. sck? unusual, captain. i'm now getting a sizable space displacement reading. can you verify that, navigator? no, sir. forward sweeps are negative. wait. verified, sir. we must be in some sort of light warp or we would've picked it up earlier. put it on visual. iron silica body, planet size-- magnitude 1-e. we'll be passing close. inconceivable this body has gone unnoted on all our records. and yet, here e is. no time to investigate. science stations, gather data for computer b bks. uhura, notify the discovery on subsprae a strong interference on subspspe, captain.

let's get out of its range. veer 40 degrees to starboard, mr. sulu. 40 degrees. sulu! mr. spock, they're gone! emergency! put in reverse power! the final frontier. of the starship enterprise. its five-year mission-- to explore strarae new worlds... to seek out new life and new civilizations... to boldly go

ship's log-- star date 2124.5. rst officer spock

we are orbiting the lone unrecorded planet in the star desert. for four hours, we have made every possible instrument sweep, but captain kirk and helmsman sulu rein unaccounted for. i have placed the ship on red alert. we've searched again from stem to stern. if they're not down on that planet, they're nowhere. no sign of human life onon the surface, sir. unless the instruments aren't functioning. function is normal. continue censorious sweeps. lieutenant uhura, have you checked all wave bandsds with due respect, sir, request permission to transport to the surface immediately and carry out search. i second desalle's request. what a a we waiting for? the decision will be mine, doctor. i have the responsibility for your safety. mr. jaeger, describe your geophysical findings for the surface below. no detectable soil or vegetation. extremely hot, toxic atmosphere swept by tornadic storms. continuous volcanic eruptions.

hmm. estimate survival time of two unprotected individuals down there. not very long. mr. spock... look. "greetings... and felicitis." hmm. send this,s, lieutenant. u.s.s. enterprise to signaler on planet surface. identify self. "hip-hip... hoorah"? and i believe it's pronounced... tallyho. some kind of a joke, sir? i'll entertain any theories, mr. desalle. any at all. one thing is certain. obviously there's life on that planet.

request assignment to the search party, sir. no, mr. scott. neither you nor i can be spared here. mr. desalle, equip the landing party with full communications, armament, and life-support gear. mr. jaeger, your geophysical knowledge may be crucial down there. dr. mccoy will accompany. if those peculiar signals are coming from captain kirk or lieutenant sulu, their rationality is in question. dismissed. [uhura] mo more messages from below, sir, but i've locked onto their original source. very good. transmit coordinates to mr. scott. once on the planet's surface, you'll establish contact with us immediately. use the laser beacon if necessary. ready, scott? ready, mr. spock.

where are your storms, jaeger? atmosphere... exactly the same as ours. desa [communicator beeps] lle to enterprise. [c[cmunicator beeps] no response. keep trying with yours. [beacon whistles]

ind open grod. jaeger!

in the name of heaven, where are we? look.

there's no reading. they're like waxworks figures. [ boomer ] imagine what you wear every day actually making your body feel better... making your whole e y better. hi, erybody. i'm boomer esiason. and that's exactly what tommie copper does for me. now, they call it "wearable wellness" and they have infused it into everything they do. sleeves that help support aching elbows and knees. tops that can help ease your overworked, sore back and shoulders. bottoms that help relieve stiff thighs and hips. and even socks and orthotics that provide added support and comfort.

if i could cover my entire body in tommie copper, i probably would! [ male announcer ] tommie copper is the pioneer of comfortable copper compression. relief from everyday aches and pains, effective odor and uv protection, moisture wicking, and incredible comfort! trust the original. add wearable wellness to your wardrobe. call now or go to tommiecopper.coco order 2 or more items and get free shipping. [ boomer ] work, performance, or whatever your day brings, experience the difference of comfortable compression. tommie copper.r. life hurts, feel better. [harpsichord plays] i must say, they make a perfectly exquisite display pair, but i suppose you want them back now. [harpsichord continues]

welcome to an island of peace on my stormy little planet of gothos. what happened? fill me in. you disappeared from the bridge after sulu. we've been looking for you for 4 hours. you must excuse my whimsical way of fetching you here, but when i saw you passing by, i simply could not resist. i'm captain james kirk of the united starship enterprise. ah, so you're the captain of these brave lads. my greetings and felicitations, captain. so good of you and your officers to, uh... drop in. absolutely smashing! who are you? where do you come from? general trelane, retired. at your service, sirs. my homom is your home. we've lost contact with the ship, captain. we're trapped here.

he very planet that i've made my hobby. yes, but according to my observations, i didn't think you capable of such voyages. notice the period, captain. 900 light-years from earth. it's what might be seen through a viewing scope if it were powerful enough. ah, yes. i've been looking in on the doings on your lively little earth. then you've been looking in on the doings oh, really? have i madean error? oh, i did so want to make you feel at home. i'm quite proud of the detail. general trelane... retired, sir. just squire trelane now. and you may call me squire. yes, i rather fancy that. for what purpose... have you imprisoned us here? imprisoned?

you see, i just finished my studies of your curious and fascinating society. you came by at the most propitious moment. i wa to know all about your c cpaigns, your battles, your missions of conquest. our missions are peaceful, not for conquest. when we do battle, it's because we have no choice. but that's the officialaltory, eh? i must ask you to let us go back to our ship. oh, i wouldn't hear of it. you shall join me in a repast. i want to learn all about your feelings on war and killing that sort of thing. do you know that you're one of the few predator species that preys even on itself? not yet. not to kill, desalle. desalle, did you say? un vrai francais? my ancestry is french, yes. ah, monsieur. vive la gloire.

this is mr. desalle, our navigator... dr. mccoy, our medical officer, mr. sulu,,our helms, and carl jaeger, meteorologist. welcome, good physicicier and honorable sir. is he kidding? und... officer jaeger. ein deutsch soldat, nein? ein, zwei, drei, wir gehen veveittels schiessgewehr. i'm a scientist, not a military man. oh, come now. we're all military men under the skin. and how we do love our uniforms. what an interesting weapon you've got there. do let m msee it.

how does this work? ah, yes. this won't kill, and this will. oh. oh, how marvelous! devastating! why, this could kill millions. who will you start with, are we your next targets? oh, how absolutely typical of your species. you don't understand something, so you become fearful. now, do let me anticipate your next question. you want to know how i've managed all of this. that's correct. we, meaning i and others, have, to state the matter briefly, perfected a system by which matter can be transferred to energy and back to matter again. like the transporter system aboard the enterprise.

process. you see, we not only transport matter from place to place, but we can alter its shape... at will. this drawing room... did you create it by rearranging matter on this planet? quite. i see. how did you mamage-- dear captain, your inquiries are becoming tiresome. i want you to be happy. free yourself of care. let's enjoy ourselves in the spirit come on, let's go. we're getting out of here. tut, tut, tut! you're being quite rude. you can't go. apparently, you need another demonsnsation of my authority. yes, quite. [gagging]

now, that's a sample of the atmososere of this planet outside my kindly influence. now, you will behave yourself hereafter, won't you? or i shall be very,

captain's log. star date 2125.7. science officer spock reporting for captain kirk. we've completed 14th orbit of this planet without establishing contact with our missing officers or the party sent to find them. sub space communications remain blocked. however, by diverting impulse power through our sensor we have made them operable.

ay, it's there, mr. spock. peaceful as earth, but how do you explain it? i don't, mr. scott. it simply exists. artificial, perhaps, or a freak of nature. but the fact remains that life can exist in that area. ay, it could. but it couldn't move around much. apply a fine tuning on our sensors. locate any life forms on that stable area. even if we find any, it doesn't follow that it would be our people. affirmative. but if the captain is down there and alive, that's where he'll have to be. we'll attempt to transport up any living beings our sensors detect. shooting in the dark, mr. spark? or stand by and do nothing, mr. scott. and this, of course, is an array of your battleflags and pennants, dating back to the crusades, to hannibal's invaders, the grecian war galleys and the hordes of persia. can't you imagine it, captain? the thousands of men marching off to their deaths,

captain... where could he possibly come from? [playing harpsichord] who is this maniac? better say, what is he? i monitored him, and what i found was unbelievable. not alive? not in the way we define life. no trace. zero. you mean... it shows he's dead? it doesn't even show that he exists at all, alive or dead. notice the wood fire, captain? and it doesn't give off any heat at all. fire without heat, mistaking all this for present-day earth without taking into account the time differential. whatever we're dealing with, he certainly isn't all-knowledgea he makes mistakes. discussing deep-laid plans, i'll wager. [laughs]

trelane... we haven't planned-- tut-tut. do not think that i deplore your martial virtue of deception and stratagem. quite the contrary. i have nothing but admiration for your whole species. if your admiration is genuine, you must have respect for our sense of duty, too. our ship needs us. we have tasks to perform. oh, i can't let you go now. i was getting a bit bored until you came. you must stay. for how long? until this is over, of course. until what is over? dear captain, so many questions. make the most of an uncertain future. enjoy yourself today. tomorrow... may never come at all. trelane, even if we wanted to stay, our companions are missing us. yes, i must experience your sense of concern, your grief at the separation. there are 400 men and women aboard that ship. women?

oh, how charming. ha ha. and they must be all very beautiful. and i shall be so very gallant to them. here, let me fetch them down at once. no. no? this game has gone on long enough. those are crucial operating personnel. you can't-- i can do anything i want. i should think that you would have realized that by now. [communicator beeps] captain, receiving a transporter signal. transporter signal? you must tell me! it means, trelane... the party's over, thanks to mr. spock. wait! i won't have this! i haven't dismissed you yet. stop! i won't have this! everyone to stations. report, mr. spock. how were our scanners able to penetrate that radiation field? they didn't, captain. not clearly.

we know it, or he'd be beaming through now. prepare to warp out of here at once. maximum speed. oh, captain, i was so worried. scotty, we're going to need every ounce of your engines. we're going to put 100 million miles between us and that madman. aye, aye, sir. i'm quaking, but i don't know if it's with laughter or terror? doctor, what was it? what was down there? well, it was a-- oh, forget it. look. where are all your weapons, captain? don't you display your weapons? trelane. don't fret, captain. i'm only a bit upset with you, but this mr. spock you mentioned, the one responsible for that unseemly, impudent act of taking you from me,

ck. oh, surely not an officer. isn't quite human, is he? my father is from the planet vulcan. and are its natives predatory? not generally. but there have been exceptions. oh, really? you will see to his punishment? on the contrary. i commend his action. but i don't like him. get off my ship. we're not going anywhere. nonsense. i have an absolutely enchanting sojourn on gothos planned for all of you. and you shan't spoil it for me. anyway, the decor of my drawing room is much more appropriate and tasteful. don't you agree? no. but so much more fitting, honorable sir. you... desalle.

trelane, let him go. we haven't even got our phasers. yes, of course. i forget that i shouldn't frighten you too much. but i warn you, you can't provoke me again. come, everyone. let's forget your bad manners. let's be full of merry talk and sallies of wit. we have victuals to delight the palate and brave company to delight the mind. come, doctor,

ah, you've been, uh... quite derelict in your social duties, captain. you haven't introduced me to the charming contingent of your crew. this is... general trelane. retired. but if you prefer, you may address me as the lonely squire of gothos, dear ladies. lieutenant uhura of communications. ah... a nubian prize. taken on one of your raids of conquest, no doubt, captain. no doubt. she has the melting eyes of the queen of sheba. the same lovely coloring. and this... is this the face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of ilium? fair helen, make me immortal with a kiss. yeoman teresa ross. i believe you have met

you do realize, don't you, that it's in deference to the captain that i brought you here? affirmative. well, i don't know if i like your tone. it's most challenging. is that what you're doing, challenging me? i object to you. i object to intellect without discipline. i object to power without constructive purpose. oh, mr. spock, you do have one saving grace after all. you're ill-mannered. ah, come, my little wood nymph. won't you dance with your swain? give us some sprightly music, my dear girl. oh, i don't know how to play this.