[ clock ticking ] mick, what's that noise? what noise? [ siren wailing ] the baby! [ crying ] man: we're getting scattered reports. there appears there has been a miscalculation. orst catastrophes in the world. man #2: it's gonna be -- i believe -- the giants won the pennant! the giants won the pennant! man #3: we repeat -- this is your civil-defense coordinator. all children proceed to their school desks. put your hands over your heads. man #1: it appears there's been a miscalculation. missiles have been launched. throw things in! quick! [ slurring ] i repeat -- missiles have been...

[ siren stops ] quiet out there. [ explosion ] aah! aah! aaah! ohhh! mick -- mick, are you okay? [ baby crying ] you're s sked. come here. shh. item 12 -- people, i pass this on without comment. it arrived in the mail yesterday of israeli manufacture and claims to be constructed of molybdenum. "die-cast woven materials for comfort, strength, and many months of trouble-free, wash-and-wear service. what is it? it's a bulletproof athletic supporter. [ laughter ] i think i'm gonna take one of those home with me at night.

r has a fractured skull. of homosexuals in the vicinity of the gay bars on hartell. i have posted the description of the two cauausian male bashers on the board. let's make sure that these gents get their christmas poultry compliments of michigan avenue, shall we? and detective belker... when do you expect to wrap up your barnswell case? barnswell, detective! [ smooches ] here, mick! here, mick! wake up! yeah, uh... no action today. barnswell's out of town. duly noted. [ clears throat ] all right, item 14 -- the parking lot continues under repair. aw, man! the new completion date is next thursday. item the last -- we are receiving a visitor today arranged with the gracious fofothought of the retirement subcommittee

mr. morton keyes. mr. keyes will be selling funeral plots at attractive union discounts. that's it. keep your powder dry. keep your spirits high. and don't forget -- crude trick perpetrated the windchill factor may be 14 below, by the international wimp weatherman's conspiracy to undermine our american manhood. it's a comfortable 22 degrees out there. russo. [ korean accent ] you policemen all park in my lot! my customer has no place to park. i lose breakfast customer. i lose lunch -- mr. chung, when we spoke on the phone i explained -- no explain! car move! mr. chung, until our own parking lot is resurfaced, it's not fair to you, but your lot is the next closest to ours. cop use my parking, but cop ever eat in my restaurant? never! no, sometimes. open breakfast now, too.

mr. chung, i can't change their eating habits, but i will make another announcement. tell them 8:00 tow truck coming. car towed. car towed. [ telephone ringing ] man: right through hererepal. [ indistinct conversation ] [ dialing ] [ clears throat ] yes, line out for information for district of columbia. frank! long distance, line six. captain n rillo. yes? what? where? what's his condition? yes. yes. damn it! yes, i understand!

n reach you? please. yeah, i'll wait right here. they set me up in traffic, which is kind of the way i like it. well, this is the only free desk that we have, mr. keyes. oh. you know my most successful line over there? most of them young guys can't afford homes, so i tell them a plot is their entrance to t t real-estate market. this is a citizen, michael belker. quite upset, and i would likekeo speak -- all right, fine. i will leave a message. i had a nightmare. something happened with us and russia. we blew ourselves up. now, i'm a police officer, and i know how hairy it gets out there. i want to be sure we're being very careful for my baby. will you see that the president gets that?

personal long distance, detective. dispatch. we have a 911 -- armed robbery in progress, surplus store, corner of peebles drive and 124th street. [ slow piano music plays ]

i don't believe this.

parked in the korean's lot? yeah. the one where the sign says, "no parking except for patrons only"? where are you going with this, neal? you're saying he towed my car? he towed a police officer's vehicle? yeah, i was looking to tell you, babe. goldblume posted a warning about an hour ago. the notice says it wouldn't hurt if we patronized the guy's place once in a while. oh, yeah, , eutenant. having my car towed gives me a hell of an appetite, any word?? i'll call again. then we'll go. [ dialing ] [ water running ] detective. sergeant. in fact, the very man that i'm looking for. here.

"first strike estates"? mm-hmm. you remember a few years back i purchased an underground condo in the alleghenies. underground condo? mm-hmm. america needs positive thinkers, detective. men who can think the unthinkable. [ water running ] your touching, albeit naive exercise in jeffersonian democracy made me suspect that you might be a customer. if you're referring to my phone call, sergeant, that was private and personal. oh, whatever. i wouldn't be without mine. i can see the e mpus room there for little belker and his friends. this is very small. mick, the japanese live in closets. we have to make a few adjustments. life underground is n n all fun and video games. you have video games? yes, i contributed "the thirty years' war" from my library. i don't know that one. well, some people might think of it as in bad taste,

ospectus. [ toilet flushes ] the phone number's on the desk. if anything comes up, don't hesitate. we should be okay. have a safe trip. uh, none of my business -- there was either a burglary or a robbery in my parent's house, and my father was shot. he's critical. can i use your phone, maurice? where are you calling to? the police. i'm the police. what's the problem? you're police? yeah. come on now. ant to touch it. i know somebody could come back later and make an accusation on me.

this building is condemned, but everybody knows people's living in it. you ask anybody whose this is? i heard some crying noise, and i come down. i asked everybody. all right. i'm gonnnntake this little guy down to the precinct. and if anybody comes for him, you have them call me, okay? how would you feel about a rumpus room 8x11? you know how big that is? of course, you could have a lot of tapes in there, and tapes aren't bad. you get into bed.. you curl up with a tape. i like that. you could see a tree and a lake. you cacasee a dog on tape. actually, a dog is not that good. you got to smell a dog for a dog to be good. [ indistinct talking over radio ] this is n-d-4. you got anything on those basher individuals? woman: assault with deadly. back of black hole club on van buren. renko: 2202, we're on itit

pursuit. [ siren wawaing, tires screeching ] i got the tall one west into downey alley. [ brakes squealing ] [ dog barking ] [ indistinct radio chatter ] [ grunting ] [ glass shatters ] oh! hyah! you're under arrest, armpit! suspicion, assault, and attempted murder. [ horn honks ]

my car's not here.. where is it? [ barking continues ] [ indistinct talking over radio ] frank. he died a few minutes ago. woman: frank! frank! i'm so glad you're here! i'm so glad! mama. just get her sitting. she'll be okay. [ whimpering ] who'd kill a harmless retired man? who'd do that? frank. we were going ice fishing saturday morning up at tomkins creek. i had a cabin reserved. i just sent in the check. i got him his license. he hadn't been there -- not since we were kids. frank, do you remember we used to go to tomkins creek?

a long time. frank, hello. medically, he didn't stand a chance. although it was painless at the end. whereas if it's any consolation, his final months would have been not so easy. welllldoctor, i've got to talk to my brother about that. what? no, really, i will. sorry, i didn't mean to betray anything. was my father sick? frank, i found out by accident. he didn't want anymore people to know. i want to see him. you may want to wait.

winston, no. please just come over. would you try to eat a little something, anna? i'll make you a slice of toast. no. tea, mrs. furillo? all right, thank you. but just half a cup. captain furillo, can i see e u a moment? sir, when will you be through with your work? i can'n'have my house being central park. i hope by 3:00. i'm sorry. when you're free, could we talk? of course, father. lieutenant patterson. first my sympathies. please know we're treating this as you're one of our own, but we're not starting in too good of field position. latents look hard to come by. the gun's an old .32, and we don't have it. the neighbors confirm your mother's sense of the timing. they heard something -- had to be a single shot. about ten minutes later, your mom came back.

joe. uh, let me get to work here. i was just over at holy saints. i put the down on the package. joe, you didn't tell me he was sick. is there anything else? what? is there anything else? frank, no. no, you weren't here. i just happened to find out. it was a pledge to papa.a. mama knew? last month. it's been hell on her. let me ask you, mr. coslo, is your tow license up to date? you're sure of that, huh? let me inform you, if by some miraclee you are properly licensed, that this was a mint '81 regal. so if there is so much as a nick in the paint job, it's gonna cost you a hundred times your lousy 68 bucks. what?!

where renko nicked you? it's wiseguys like you and that korean make my life a struggle, neal. so get the grill situation taken care of. i won't tell you what day i'm coming back, but if it's not fixed, i cite you for the fine. you believe that? my health inspector retires early, and they sendnde this. seems like an honest fella. yeah, believe that? excuse me. excuse me. peter regan, health and safety. you'u' the guy, pete. i was over at chung's seoul food on hill and macadam a couple of hours ago. he's got rats the size of chihuahuas in there. i'll tell the guy who covers east of dekker. tell the guy, huh? you hear that, detective? how long you been on the job, pete? three months. you think when some multiple rape-homicide's in progress a cop on the beaeastops to ask if it's on his beat? no way. it's protect-and-serve time.

from a little rodential infestation. you don't see the principal in common? hey, forget it, j.d. this guy's got a big behind. he's in there for the pension. now, look, fellas, you're wrong about me. i see paper shufflerss all over my department. it turns my stomach. i'll drop by there in a couple of hours. how's that? you renew my faith in the civil service. thank you. amazing. every time i can remember being with him, back to when i was... 10 years old, it was like a struggle.

and it's how i feel now... even at his death. because he didn't tell you he was sick? i don't know. my mom had four operations in four years. every one she never said a word until she was back home and up on her feet again. his nurse became my "deep throat." it's not the same, is it? it's not. because your mother loved you.

to the moment he died, my father had contempt for me and wanted to hurt me. i love you. let's go insnse.

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, help schedule your appointments, and with renew byy u, you can learn about healthy living and earn rewards, too. rememeer, medicare open enrollment ends december 7th. call unitedhealthcare today about an aarp medicarecomplete plan. you can even enroll right over the phone. don't wait. call unitedhealthcare or go online now. ? ? i mean, what good is it? i made the mistake. me, okay? plus, the kid. as soon as that kid starts crying, they're gonna freak. they're gonna take off like hell. look -- you think you could can the speculation until this thingng over? woman: units in vicinity. report vehicle fitting n-d description. vehicle has collided with riverton bridge abutment. oh, my god. [ siren wails ]

hey, mick! hey, mick! the tow truck and all the emergency stuff is on its way! get out of there! you, spaceball, are busted! [ metatacreaking ] [ metal groaning ] [ explosion ] [ indistinct radio chatter ] no. why even call her? she's not gonna come anyway. she's in alaska. ell your brother mama, joe. how cruel aunt clara was to me and papa all our lives.

nts are e t. please, mama. mama, we have another problem. wh-what is it? did papa -- did papa take his own life? what are you talking about? papa was robbed. i came home from the store -- mama, stop. what is it with you? what are you doing? are you crazy? he's dead. papa's dead. will you just leave it? but if you're being dishonest with me now, you go to hell. oh, that's good. oh, that's really good, frank. he's the big-time cop. he's coming in t tinterrogate about his own father's death! oh. oh, boy. you know, frank -- you know the thing about you? your whole life everybody always liked you, but you never had any closeness. any love of family!

let me and frank talk, please. yeah. sure, mama. i found the gun you hid downstairs. i know you didn't help him. i know you weren't even here. but the thing you did, mama -- hiding the gun and telling them it was a robbery -- that's a crime. do the police -- no, they don't know. i came home... and there he was slumped in his chair. he'd been so sick, frank. if the police find out, father conklin will find out. and i didn't want papa to be -- not without a mass. not without a blessing at the grave. oh, frank, please.

. please?

[ exhales ] so, how was kimchi? good. very tasty. how was wawar? excellent. hey, you're not really doin' that? no, no, i'm not, neal. i only gotot0 bucks invested in these rodents. yeah, and i only got a lifetime invested in being scared of rats. woman: let's go sit over here. come on. come on.

e, detective... what? i heard about that phone call you made this morning. forget about that -- that's personal. i know, but it's also a very public-spirited thing to do, and i was wonderin' if we could maybe have a conversation about that. you see, it's like this -- it's, like, where we could go if we just kind of got eye to eye on this. i've had those nightmares, too, where it's too late and things screw up and this is goin' too fast, and so i figure we could get some kind of a group, people respect law enforcement. where are yoyogoin' with this? well, we get the pba with me as a representative, and we lobby for some kind of a newspaper ad that says that everybody who has had these horrible dreams totoall the white house and say, "okay, look, don't be so macho here." then we get this groundswell started where we get ads -- like, all of a sudden we have 20 million people calling the white house and saying, "whoa! slow the bus down!"

personal? well, you think about it, okay? i'm thinkin' about it. i wish i could stop. mick, this is mr. darnell karns. he is the father of the missing baby. where's my child? you're that kid's father? you abandoned your son?! you don't talk to o like that, you hear? his mother took him. i don't know what she did. all right, come here. come w wh me. come on. i come back at 12:00 to see the child, and they're both gone. en't working for the last three days, where were you? why is that a question? because... you come down here sayin' you had nothin' to do with it. who are you -- mr. clean? look, i was in jail, all right? look here -- here. here's the paperwork -- out at 11:45. what were you in jail for? come on, man! that's what it's about? are you gonna take my child for that? would you answer my questions?

right? i was drivin' my taxi, a dude remarks me, then he wants to duke me. look, man, you took my child and you brought my child in here. where is he? mr. karns, this is a telephone number for the youth authority. it's the dekker avenue branch, mrs. morganstern. youth authority? why is he there? because he is! that's where they take lost babies. now, you go over there, you talk it out with them. they're gonna ask me about a lousy three days when i ain't been in jail in eight years. i don't know what they're gonna ask, mr. karns. now go. all right. he needs me now. little guy gotta be afraid.

but i understand your captain has a loved one who is gravely ill. where'd you hear that? i overheard you on the horn. will you tell him we offer very competitive pricing, and could you pass along one of our brochures? he's out of town. it happened out of town.

he's barricaded the door, but it doesn't seem to be threateneng. refused to bring him. that's when he started yelling for you. go get the baby and hang out in the back. mr. karns! detectcte belker. right away, just like i told you, they started talkin' about how i'd been in jail! never mind jail now, mr. karns. now we're talkin' about takin' hostages. nobody gives a baby to a guy who takes hostagag! it's my baby! he's not the legal guardian! we offered him a 10-day hearing date. okay, okay. how about this?

i'm not -- i'm talking to both of you. let's say they bring the baby now -- you can hold him, make sururhe's okay, if you open this door and let out the hostages. then we can sit down, we can talk this thing through. if i do that, can i take timotot home? no! but if you don't let those women go, you're never gonna have him. don't mislead him -- his chances are about zilch. this is the kind of comment we don't need now. go ahead, give it to him! if he tries to leaea with that baby, it's child endangerment! you're off the case, harvey! watch out. just take it easy, man. don't do anything strange. here we gogo timothy. hey. hey, how you doin'? say cheese. how you doin', big cheese? huh?

captain, a minute of your time. if you'll give me a second to just check up on my mother. she's sleeping now. the doctor mildly sedated her. lieutenant, i'll return later. thank you, father. father. what? alone. i'll make some mororcoffee. i talked to your mother a few minutes about insurance. y. why did you ask? your father's death, w wnow believe, was a suicide, captain. sorry. you surprised by what i'm saying?? no, not really. you know your dad was very sick? i found out today. we weren't gettin' anywheres on the robbery supposition, then o'malley finds a handful of bullets, the same bullet that killed him, in a shoe box. o'malley wasn't pryin' arorod -- it was part of his floor sweep.

we thought maybe your mom got hinky, threw it out, but it's not in n e garbage. then we thought maybe she'd hide it down here. it seems logical. it's not here. you didn't, uh, come down before, did you, captain? actually, i did. o'malley thought he saw you coming down here. you weren't looking for something, were you?u? why? gun? guess cops think along the same lines. did you find it? no. well, don't worry -- without the gun, even if my commander gets a bee in his bonnet,

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oh, frank. mama... i threw out the gun, ppened. nd out anyway. you threw out the gun? i made you do something bad. you shouldn't say that. you needn't and you shouldn't. i made the mistake, and you covered up for me. it's done. oh, i'm sorry, frank. papa was so proud of you when you graduated from police academy. do you know that? all i ever heard was how little money i was gonna make. he was proud.

ide. and he hasn't passed on a day that i -- i made you do something a policeman shouldn't do. is father conklin stilil out there? he said he'd come by later. did you hear what i said before? the police found out what happened. i heard. what's gonna happen? i'll talk to them. give him the german on castillo. lieutenant... what you got? even better. who didn't show? make sure it's charged to the d.a. okay, i'll call you back later. you're sure there's no insurance? just his company retirement, e asking, and that's paid up no matter how he died. it goes in as an open case. that doesn't help my battin' average any, captain,

or... and i have no call, except one cop to another. your daddy ain't gonna go to hell. your dad's a clean guy, everything i heard. status... ...open. it won't. that's what i figured. [ clears throat ] thank you. you tell him what you did to your own kid! you're gonna tell the man the truth! there's the man now! you tell him what went down! stand over here. i hung around the e ilding. she came back. go on, corinne! i didn't have no money! darnell didn't send none! you spent it all on dope! tell the truth!

eople in that building! i left him, but i came back! you left your baby? but i came back! you're under arrest. officer, search this woman and bobo her for felony child endangerment. go on. let him go. you can let him go. he's all right. mr. karns, mr. karns. sit down, please. you all right? listen, i checked the cab company -- i told you so. so, at least i can tell them that. look, am i gonna get my baby? my sister'll be here on friday. mr. karns, i don't k kw the answer to those things. that's not my job. i'm only the cop. yeah. see ya. what's it gonna be with her? probably she'll get out. probably she'll get a legal aide just like you did,

you're the only one that stood up for me. you're welcome. henry, a mr. chung. i know mr. chung. you happy now?! cop can park c c in lot any time cop want! mr. chung, this is a health-department citation. it's got nothing to do with us. i know my health inspector very well. my health inspector no make this problem! i've gotta tell you, sir, if you're saying you pay off your regular health inspector, and that's why you got nailed, that's a very corrupt, un-american attitude. eat maggot until you die! i talked to chandler over at f fst strike. oh, so we may be neighbors? well, forget world war iii. we could get up there for deer-hunting season. nenehbors, schneighbors. deer, schmeer. i'm the new sales rep of the entire eastern district, and i got yoyoto thank for my midlife career move. yes, sirree, this a.m., mort keyes was a journeyman dragging his tail through the listless seas

this evening, take a look at this -- mother nature may get mugged, but you'll have yours, dipping in the jacuz, dining on your cuisine nouvelle, a thousand feet beneath the e ss. damn, it's a vital product! [ exhales ] excuse me, i'm detective belker. i'm doing some i iestigating on a custody case. i'd like some xeroxes made, please. detective... could i see you for a moment, please? sure. i know you've taken an interest in the karns case, so before you spend any more time on it, i want to let you know where we stand. good. where do we stand? there's been tremendous negative reactiti up and down the floor to the hostage-taking. ms. forbes is devastated. she's asking for work lelee. and so mr. karns is not going to get his child? a family court judge will make that decision, of course.

most of the time. i just thought he wawa an okay guy -- mr. karns. he wasn't that okay. we have records going backck- child support was always spotty, and up until eight years ago, he had a record of violent crimes. timothy goes to a foster home then? yes, for six months, maybe a year, and then there'll l another hearing set. his mother is a doper. his father may not last six months or a year. you're the one who said he was okay, detective. why can't you understand that?!

'll be at the motel, joe. frank, i owe you an apology. the thing about the family not being apart --

i'm glad you're here. i love you, joey. look at your daddy. how is bi bim bab? oh...v.vy good. this is excellent. [ burps ] thank you.u. this is terrible! mr. community relations. hey, you know whereryour dream came from, don't you? where? we started watching that show last night about hiroshima. unh-unh. i fell asleep right when it came on. yeah, but i bet your brain absorbed it. people do that -- they're still hearing when they drop off. at least it's goin' away now. the anxiety's a lot less. look at it this way -- you didn't save the world today, but you saved a kid. [ cries ]

it was like i was all screwed up. honey, could i hold on to philip? go see your daddy. oh...oh, boy! you know, i don't even know what's gonna happen to that other kid. mick, stop. footsie. i'm not. you're not?? no. aahhhhh! you're a felon, furillo. ma barker's boys did it for their mom. furillo did it for his. . that my defense? will you retain me?

my father was a stiff, cold man, and i i ...aren't i? you want the answerr to be "yes"? you aren't. you aren't your father. joey wanted to be just like our dad. you knkn how some kids are? their old man's a god? y... his whole life. but he was too sweet. i was closer to the mold. [ telephone rings ] hello? henry, i just called to check in. how'd it go? oh, i'm glad to hear it.

[ voice breaking ] no, it was...suicide. right. he was very sick. he was dying of cancer, and apparently... yeah. thank you. good night. in convent a year? before when christina called... mm-hmm. i asked her a few things. she said you could get a -- a cranky old priest, but mostly these days, the church considers your whole life. they don't c cdemn you for suicide.

no. i thought it was...kind of beautiful... because imagine... a man jumps off a building. before he hits the ground, we'll never know for sure, but he might have had a second thought. i like that. [ sniffs ] [ footsteps ] the tumor is situated here, where i'm afraid surgery is not an optiti. no cure? radiation therapy, chemotherapy. mr. furillo, there will be pain. we'll do our best with it.

chemotherapy.... do our best with the pain. [ laughing ] [ [ lephone rings ] hello? president reagan: mick, hi. it's the president. mr. president?! right. mick, i got your message. you were right to remind me, mick.

it's high time. we're e king them into old studebakers. god, i love those cars. the whole e untry thanks you for your suggestion, mick. -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com

how's it going? i just got my first assignment. nment? customs trailerrat the . oh, man. spend the night holding hands with nigerian drug mules till they move their bowels. you can't get off that, huh? nah. how am i gonna turn down the first thing they throw me? female d.o.a. her panties are pulled offff who found her? garbageman over there. she's got bruises on her thighs.