you wanted to see me, garak? ah! constable. how good of you to stop by. a shoplifter? excuse me? is something wrong? woman: here i come. what do you think? oh, well, then put it on my account. i'll wear it to work. a splendid idea. ah. security chief odo i'd like to introduce you to chalan aroya-- one of my best cususmers. i own the celestial cafe-- the new bajoran restaurant overlooking the promenade.

when you're on patrol. 0937. you're very precise. how... nice of you to notice. i was hoping one day you might stop in when you're not working. i do and i hate to eat alone. oh, and next time you're on the second level don't forget to say hello. ll me it had better be to report a crime. letting aroya walk out of here without arranging a date.

re all obsessed with these convoluted mamang rituals. true, but do you think we'd waste so much time on something that wasn't worthwhile? i'll never understand you. you're such a sensitive man yet there are so many aspects of humanoid life that you simply refuse to explore. i have no desire to become a slave to humanoid obsessions. but you have to admit she is quite lovely. well... she is, isn't she? mm-hmm. oh! ( groaning ) odo! what's wrong? i... i don't know. ( yelling in pain ) garak to dr. bashir. i need a medical emergency team

[captioning sponsored by the u.s. department of education

this is a waste of time. to diagnose what's wrong with me. actually, i do have some idea what's going on. i've compared your current medical scans with ones i've made over the last four years and there are some noticeable differences. normally, when you're in humanoid form you haha a specific density of 1.4 which is constant throughout your body. your mass and density only vary when you change shape. now, your mass and density are in a state of fluctuation. do you know what's causing it? no. do you know how to prevent it

i'm afraid i can't let you leave just yet. moving seems to increase the fluctuations and may bring on another attack. are you saying i have to stay here until you've discovered a cure? or until the fluctuations stop on their own. for all i know this could be a normal biological process-- the changeling equivalent of puberty... or menopause. el that's an interesting theory, doctor f. don't worry. this could just as easily turn out to be a virus or a bacterial infection. now, lie back, and i promise i'll do everything i can to get you out of here as soon as possible. ( sigh of disgust ) ( sighing ) we find the federation's demands that we return the cacaured cardassian colonies insulting and provocative.

and we will never give them up. furthermore, if the federation still harbrbs any hope of peaceful coexistence with the klingon empire it must abandon all starbases and military installations in the archanis sector. our claim to a ahanis four and the surrounding territory is ancient and indisputable. we advise the federation to leave archanis or prepare to face the consequences. long live the empire. this recording was sent to the federation council three days ago. r then he has become even more dangerous than i thought. i don't get it. the klingons relinquished their claim to archanis four 100 years ago. i guess they changed their mind. i don't think gowron gives a damn about archanis.

an old friend of curzon' s from the diplomatic corps. she sasa that representatives from federation worlds near the klingon border are already urging a prprmptive strike. sounds like war may be inevitable. but right now, there's not much we can do about it either way. archanis four is a long way from here. ( sneeeeng ) two, three... i say she stops at seven. i say eight. mr. worf? ten. oh, i hate being pregnant! i win. my nose hasn't stopped itching for weeks. dax: we've noticed. is there anything dr. bashir can do? i'm bajoran. human women get nauseous. we sneeze. besides, dr. bashir's hands are fufu right now. how is the constable? no news yet.

i doubt that he would wish to be seen in sucuca weakened state. what if he wants some company-- someone to take his mind off his problems? that is doubtful. odo values his privacy. he does not like to socialize. i think it's all an act. it is not an act. he told me so himself. but you were socializing with him when he said it. captain, was dax's last host as argumentative as this one? worse. thank you, benjamin... i think. hopefully, odo will get back on his feet soon. ( kira sneezinin ) agreed. may i come in? if you're looking for dr. bashir he's not in right now. actually, i came to see you. to be honest, major

i didn't plan on staying. i just c ce to bring you this. today's criminal activities report. i figured you might be getting tired of staring at medical consoles all day. that was very thoughtful of you, major. if there's anything else you need you let me know. yeahahuh, i'll do that. what? ( grunting ) ah... ah. keep moving. i'll feel a lolobetter once we're off this station. too bad because you're nototeaving. security chief odo. i heard you were indisposed. well, you heard wrong. now, you and i need to talk

i told you before i don'n'know anything about them. well, tell me again. oh, no, you don't. ( yelling in pain ) let's go.

you won't see these folks at the post office. they have businesses to run. they have passions to pursue. how do they avoid trips to the post office? stamps.com mail letters, ship packages,

including postage and a digital scale. go to stamps.com/tv and never go to the post office e ain. how are you feeling? ( chuckles ) see for yourself. it's gotten worse.

for me to maintain humanoid form. the latest test results aren't encouraging. the destabilization of your molecular structure is increasing at an alarming rate. abilization continues. one week, maybe two. .. i sent my findings to dr. mora. frankly, he was as baffled as i am but he wants you to come to his laboratory on bajor for further tests. ( snorts ) seven years of playing lab rat for him was quite enough. besides, you have complete access to his data. if the answer was there, you'd have found it by now. i don't suppose you'd agree

doctor... i think we both know where i i ve to go. i was hoping it wouldn't come to that. there doesn't seem to be much choice. you have to take me back to my people. the only ones who can help me now are the founders. once we enter the gamma quadrant we'll begin trananitting a subspace signal explaining the purpose of our mission. then we'll entnt dominion space and try to locate the founders' new homeworld. you think we can locate his people in time? if we go into dominion air space without cloaking, we'll get their attention. you can be sure of that. i'd like to come along. i don't think so, major. i know odo's your friend, but i need you here. besides...

i know, i know. when will you leave? doctor? as soon as possible. we'll prepare thth defiant. you prepare the constable. all systems s e ready for departure. thank you, mr. o'brien. the medical bay's all set but it'll take a little while to get odo on board. why not use the transporter? his molecular structure is scrambled enough as it is. the last thing he needs is a trip through a transporter buffer. benjamin, someone's requesting permission to come on board. who is it? garak. tell him the ship is off limits to cardassian spies. sir, if garak is asking to come aboard i'm sure he has a good reason. have mr. garak escorted t tthe mess hall. i'll meet him there. personally, i think starfleet should allow thehe officers more latitude in accessorizing their uniforms.

ah, captain, how good of you to see me. make it brief, garak. i'd like to accompany you on your mission. there are some questions i'd like to ask the founders. such as? the cardassian empire lost a number of warships during their aborted attttk on the dominion. i want to know what happened to the crew members. i thought thososships were destroyed with all hands. oh, we don't know that for a fact. as i recall, when the defiant left the scene of the battle, there were a number of cardassian warships still fighting. and you think some of their crew members might have been taken prisoner. i liveven hope. besides, if you do take me along i think you'll find me quite useful. i'm a man of many talents. i have no need for a tailor on this mission let alone a spy... but maybe there is something you can do for me. this is going to be a long trip for odo.

take his mind off his condition. you want me to keep him company. no. anyone can do that-- dax, bashir, myself. and what would we have to offer him? kindness, sympathy. that's the last thing he wants. but where you offer kindness, i offer mystery. where you offer sympathy, i offer intrigue. just give me a seat next to odo's bed and i promise you i'll conjure up enough innuendoes about my so-called career in the obsidian order to keep the constable distracted for days. if there's one thing cardassians excel at it's conversation. you've got yourself a job. but all questions for the founders have to wait until after odo gets the help he needs. we share the same priorities, captain.

( groaning ) odo... not now, quark. i'm busy. i hear you're taking a little trip to the gamma quadrant. care to come along? are you kidding? i expect to own this station by the time you get back. with you gone profits from smuggling alone should go up 60%. ll, don't get used to it. i'll be back before you know it making your life miserable. then you are coming back. count on it. i will. take your time.

would you like me to have the promenade cleared? that won't be necessary. we've just cleared the wormhole.

aye, sir. it's funny. i've served on half a dozen ships and none of them have had cloaking devices except the defiant. now that we're not using it, i feel naked. it is disconcerting, to say the least. gentlemen, i feel the same breeze you do. what are you smiling at? i don't know. i guess it's just being in the same room with so many naked men. consul merrok of romulus. such a tragedy. i met him once, a few weeks before he died. i was working as a gardener at the cardassian embassy during the... you were a gardener on romulus? my specialty was edosian orchids. beautiful, but highly toxic. as i recall proconsul merrok was poisoned. funny... i don't remember that

died unexpectedly that year. it must be hard to keep them all straight. oh, you can't imagine. maybe we should let the constable get some rest. i'll let you know when i need rest, doctor. a gardener... at the cardassian embassy on romulus? mm-hmm. fascinating. so i get off duty the other night and i walk into my quarters and there's keiko and major kira talking. go on. as soon as i walked in, they stopped. it was like turning off a holosuite program. they did not want you to hear what they were saying. exactly, but i think they were talking about me. come on, chief. you have no way of knowing that. oh, i may not have the proof but i know one thing-- molly was there

( laughing ) laugh all you want. i'm thinking of asking julian to come live with us. even things up a little. ( beeping ) i'm reading warp signatures headed our way. it looks like our signal's finally getting a little attention. full stop. on screen.

dax: we're being hailed. they want to beam someone aboard to discuss our request. i would advise against

ht be better to negotiate over the viewscreen. i don't want them to think we're hiding something. odo needs their help and i'm going to make sure he gets it. tell the jem'hadar i'll meet their representative in the transporter bay. aye, sir. ( screams ) that's enough. let him go. please, everyone. lower your weapons. there's no need for violence. are you okay? i've felt better. i've come for odo. can you help him? only the great link can help him. leave him with me and you may return home unharmed. i can't do that. a founder has given you an order. you will obey it.

i feel it too. then let's not stand here and argue. just tell us where we need to take him. the faster we get moving, the better off he'll be. your loyalty to odo is commendable. i will not stop you from accompanying him on the rest of his journey. however, i am sure you understand my reluctance to reveal the location of our new home. commander, i must ask you to surrender the helm. amat'igan will guide your ship for the remainder of the voyage. captain? my terms are not open to negotiation. commander, give him your seat. this will prevent your navigational computers from retaining any record of our journey. sir...

shapeshifter: there, that's better. now captain, if it's not too much trouble i would like to pay odo a visit. how do i look, doctor? does it matter? of course it matters. i'm here as a representative of the cardassian empire and i want to make a good first impression. constable, what do you think? i think the romulans poisoned proconsul merrok and you were the one responsible for the transporter accident that killed sub-commander ustard. you're getting warmer, but how do i look? ( groans ) ( door opens ) may i come in? you'll pardon me if i don't get up. poor odo... look what's become of you.

to your outward appearance. such concerns are more fitting for solids. i don't mean to interrupt but is there anything you can do for him? odo... give me your hand. don't be afraid.

amazing. feeling better? yes, though i still have to concentrate to hold my form. your molecular structure is still fluctuating but it's nowhere near as unstable as it was. leave now. i wish to speak to odo in private. odo is my... patient. it's all right, doctor. then i'll be right outside. it can wait, garak. of course. what we have to say is not for your ears.

i'm not exactly thrilled with the circumstances myself. i had hoped that you'd return to us on your own. after all, that bajoran woman you were so fond of seems to have taken an interest in someone else. you know about major kira and first minister shakaar. despite your rejection of us we still take an active interest in your well-being. about my well-being? there's very little that escapes our attention. are you saying that you knew i was sick even before we left the station? what do you think? ( sighs ) i think you did this to me. you caused my illness

i wish the circumstances of this meeting were different. you killed a changeling, odo. he was trying to kill my friends. i had no choice. of course you had a choice and you chose to side with the solids. to protect them, you were willing to violate the most sacred law of our people. no changeling has ever harmed another. until you. that's why we forced you to return home...