( whistling sprightly tune ) starring andy griffith... with ronny howard.

have you done anything out of the ordinary recently? we bought a new washer and dryer from the home improvement store. i'm afraid you're suffering from fobo. fobo? fobo. fobo... fear of better options. cure fobo with black friday savings now at hhgregg. get up to 40% off storewide.

all with our low price guarantee. appliances. electronics. furniture. hhgregg let me help you, paw. i don't think you can lift it, op. i think i can lift it. ong. maybe in about 20 years. i appreciate you packin' for me, aunt bee but it's just a business trip for two days. i hope i didn't forget anything. from the feel of it you didn't forget nary a thing. packed all my clothes and the chest of drawers. careful! i put a jar of piccalilli relish in there. piccalilli relish? well, you'll be glad to have it with that hotel food. ( doorbell rings ) uh, let barney in, will you, op? okay. hi, barney. hi, op.

yeah. paw hooked her up to the doorknob and out she went. she sure did. hey, listen, let me hear you say "simple simon sells seashells by the seashore." okay. simple simon sells she-seashells by the seashore. ( chuckles ) that's pretty good. if you think that's something, you ought to hear me sing a song. don't you look nice? don't he look nice, though? i don't look too ivy league, do i? you're in a league all by yourself. feels kinda strange, you know bein' used to wearin' my uniform. comin' over here without my gun and belt i felt absolutely naked. oh. i-i didn't mean to, uh, i mean... ( clears throat ) let me help you. careful, there's a bottle in there. you thought of everything, didn't you? it's just a bottle of piccalilli relish. 'bye, aunt bee. oh, no, wait a moment!

i'll bet you a quarter she forgot a brown paper sack full of sandwiches. i never been on a trip in my life that i didn't have to carry a brown paper sack full of sandwiches. well, what'd you forget, aunt bee? just a sack of sandwiches to eat on the bus. aw, a sack of sandwiches to eat on the bus. bless her heart. bye. bye, op. be good, now. take care of aunt bee. wdy. we'd like a room with twin beds. yes, sir. sign that? mm-hmm. ( knocking ) excuse me a minute. boy, you wouldn't have to look far around here to find some felonies. robbery i notice so far is what their askin' for rooms -- seven dollars. this is where the action is -- capital city. well, it's different from mayberry no question about that.

yep. you know, andy, this is where i really belong. barney fife... in the asphalt jungle. now, barn, outside of that meetin' we've got with the commissioner we-we're really off duty, you know. off duty? ( chuckles ) when is a lawman really off duty? would you make certain everything's there? oh, yes. wouldn't they be better in the safe? there's no point in having jewels if one doesn't wear them. would you sign the receipt? ( clears throat ) andy? hmm? ( quietly ): see that ice? hmm? mm-mmm.

she's already gettin' some attention. how's that? back there. ( clears throat ) back where? back there. where? back there. a necklace like that anybody'd give it a second look. look. hmm? he's stalkin' his prey. sorry, gentlemen. have you both registered? no. you want to sign in? there you are, sir. barney, you got to stop seein' criminals everywhere you look. andy, you... now, barney. all right. we'll get checked in and we'll go have our meetin' with the commissioner. i'll submit these records to the budget department but i think any chances of your getting new equipment are pretty slim.

not very many arrests. uh, what you're sayin' is the only way we can get the equipment we need is to slow down our work a little and let the crime rate catch up to us. is that it? well, i-i... no, but it would help if i had something to show. it's too bad you boys didn't make more arrests the kind that hit the front pages. people like that kind of flash, you know? excuse me, sir. the committee is waiting for you. thank you. gentleman, you must excuse me. i have to get back to the meeting. can do. i'll do everything i can i promise you. good-bye. well, he said he'd do what he could. i'll tell ya what'd turn the trick-- just one good felony. our name in the paper just once. we'd have everything we wanted just like that. i suppose you mean that fella at the hotel? why not? look, people come here to the city to shop for things they can't get back home. all right -- we do the same thing.

k one up here. well, let's go back to the hotel and eat supper and forget about our problems. ( piano playing quietly ) we better get us a waiter or somebody to tell us what these french words mean. all you have to do is point out somethin'. that way you don't let out that you don't understand. oh, no. that's too chancy. you point out's bound to be good. besides, you can learn a few new words. no. i don't like to gamble like that, barn. besides, a little plain talk never hurt anybody. uh... don't do that, andy. you'll embarrass me. he'll think you're just a plain hick. well, barney, there's worse things than bein' a plain hick. like bein' a hungry one.

uh, have you got a nice steak on here somewheres? a steak-- certainly, monsieur. good. let me have a steak and, uh, uh, a baked potato and green beans. thank you. i'll have that. escargot. and that. very good, monsieur. thank you. steak, baked potato, green beans. snails and brains. uh, well, barn you learned two newords anyway.

did ya see that? the emerald lady and the crook? did ya notice how he left right after her? that don't have to mean he's followin' her. andy, i tell ya, he's closin' in. yeah. she's got the necklace, all right. i got a good look at it. it's genuine, worth a bundle. i tell ya, that guy is no good. utation on it. i'm stickin' on his tail till i see him behind bars. you know, it's nights like this i wish i was back on the force again

want to buy a hot necklace? huh? come on, andy. i'm going down to police headquarters and browse around. you want to go? no. you go ahead. my place is here on the crime front. where's your man? right over there... eatin' mints. he's had eight so far. oh. i'll see you at 12:00. ooh! oh, excuse me. my fault. i beg your pardon. excuse me.

why not? it's a free country. look, c.j., i don't want any trouble. you seem to forget that i was acquitted of that last charge. lack of evidence, i believe. completely clean record. well, make it stay that way. keep your hands in your own pockets. oh, relax, bardoli. i'm as worried about the crime rate as you are. it's shocking. the papers are full of it.

( clears throat ) you a new arrival here at the hotel, are you? yes. yes, that's right. i'd like to pass along a little friendly advice. oh? i'd be careful about talking to strangers around here if i were you. uh... i don't understand. well, this may be a bit of a shock to you but there's a jewel thief hanging around. a jewel thief? don't look now, but he's right over there. where?

a jewel thief? i wouldn't expect you to know. takes a pro to spot 'em. mm-hmm. and you're a pro? "deputy sheriff-- mayberry." mayberry? and, and... you think that... and you spot... oh, this is beautiful. but, um... what would a jewel thief hope to find around here? could be a lot of things. like, say...uh... emeralds.

r has a necklace with emeralds as big as jawbreakers. he's been trying to close in all day. i'm all set to nab him the minute he makes his move. look, uh... i'd like to help you. uh, i'm... i'm c.j. hoffman. i, uh...uh... i own this newspaper. sounds like it would be a great story but i have to know more. our name in the paper-- that's what we need. c.j., you stick with me. you'll get your scoop. it's a deal. from now on, it's cat and mouse -- a waiting game -- till he makes his move. there he is! the elevator! oh, he's going up for the heist. i turn my back one minute... the stairs. good. okay, c.j., get set for the big story.

that's right, sheriff. it's interesting. sure is. hi. howdy. andy, this is officer friendly. dean, this is sheriff taylor of mayberry. how you doin'? handy little gadget there. we try to keep up. andy, i'd like you to take a look at our file room. it's right out this way. that's her door. he's after the ice, all right. these books are pretty complete, sheriff -- racketeers, burglars, jewel thieves...

someone you know? i've seen him somewhere. he's leaving. he must have been scared off. now, wait a minute. maybe he already took the necklace. they work fast. we better take a look. it's locked. well, i've heard that a nail file can open a lock. you know how that works? well...you just... slide it in there

you're right! you sure know all their gimmicks. well, half the trick of winning is understanding the enemy. i'll look in the bedroom. you check around in here. where do you think i ought to start? sometimes they hide a wall safe behind a picture.

you come on up to mayberry and we'll shoot some quail. it sounds good to me. let me have the key to 920, please. sheriff, i'd like to call the missus and tell her i'll be a little late. yeah, go ahead. hey, sergeant. who is that fella right over there just getting on the elevator? oh, him? oh, that's the house detective. that's the what? house detective. he's been here for years.

well, nothing's missing -- it was a false alarm. we'd better get out. wait. what's that? what's what? that box on the dresser. it's just a box. looks like a jewel box. that's the trouble with you amateurs. you wouldn't see that. takes a pro to spot it. it's empty! they're gone! the necklace is stolen! come on! let's get him! ( whispering ): look. what's the matter? it's him!

( pounding on door ) great work. now, if i can only get my photographers here -- take your picture making the arrest. open up! my place is right up the street. it'll only take about 20 minutes. why don't we phone them? no, no. the hotel switchboard-- they'd tip off the house detective. he'd come up and take all the credit. give me about 20 minutes. wait a minute. why don't i go with you? i could use the pay phone to call the police. what's going on? out of here! andy, am i ever glad to see you. do i have news! this is c.j. hoffman. i have to be going. that fella i spotted is a crook. he took the emeralds. c.j. and i found them gone. the fella you were following -- he took 'em? we locked him in the closet. c.j.'s got to get his photographers to take my picture. yes. so if you'll excuse me...

grapher. they got a nice likeness of you down at police headquarters. lookit there, sergeant. great work, barney. you got him. oh, sergeant nelson of the city police -- my deputy, barney fife. congratulations, deputy. oh, uh...uh...uh... i'll take him off your hands. well, barn, you got your felony and you got your arrest. yeah. ying along. i knew all the time that, uh... there's no use pretending, andy. i had it all wrong. hey...who...? who what, barn? who's the guy in the closet? oh. well, uh... this won't be easy, barney

[horses whinnying]