(male narrator) in new york city.. ...on a street in the east 40s. there's an ordinary tailor shop. or is it ordinary? through the agent's entrance, and we are now in u.n.c.l.e. headquarters. it's the united network command for law and enforcement. u.n.c.l.e. is an organization consisting of agents of all nationalities. it's involved in maintaining political and legal order anywhere in the world.

[beeping] my name isisapoleon solo. i'm an enforcement agent in section two here. that's operations and enforcement.t. i am illya kuryakin. i am also an enforcement agent. like my friend napoleon, i go and i do whatever i am told to, by our chief. oh-oh, yes. alexander waverly. number one in the section one. in charge of this, and new york headquarters. it's from here that i send these young men on their various missions.

mr. tenley, wanda. mr. tenley, you're due in computer process data. (wanan) 'miss. mcnabb, room 9.' mr. waverly had to leave for washington. he left a reminder, that you haven't completed your report on the january affair. 'that was due yesterday.' come in, mr. tenley. don't mind mcnabb's bite, it's her bark you have to watch out for. listen, now, whatever that thing is, it seems to turn mostly when it's attacked, just open the door and let it go home? centuries ago, samurai swordsmen used to train with this block

as an exercise, it still has its points. well, since we don't get too many calls to take on samurai warriors these days i'll just let you specialize, alright? [transmitter beeping] [beeping continues] (solo) data process. [reel winding] it's just chloroform.

forced me to.. i...i i just thought i would see if it had a two plank like a pinball machine. green.....al...rock. (tenley) 'green..' stay back. please. [reeling continues] [gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot] (tenley) 'green...opal...rock.'

[switches off the machine] [reeling stops] is he dead, or..? no. but he's not alive, either. insulin shock, electric therapy adrenaline, pentothal. no change in the ecg. no metabolic increase or toxic reaction. seems to narrow down to a complete repressive block

total catatonic state. and if there should be any change, any response alert interrogation section four. we've run a check-out test and resimulated the electronic tape pulses. there was definitely just the one tape he wanted to run an auto-destruct on. o destroy the one file tape with his name in it. missing persons, expxpined. but, why? just a technical listing. i guess his position light didn't show up in a scsc for two days when he was in greenland last year. - lentil cracker? - oh, black ma'am, o oboth. or as soon as tenley can tell us, why? or has he already told us?

(tenley on tape) 'i can't stop...kill me.' 'green...opal...rock.' run a program code on green opal right now. (mcnabb) 'this is the green opal map reference.' 'but, without the code area key number.' how about brach? we don't have anythihi on it as a code or a location but we do have a cross-reference as a name, walter g. brach. that's walter g. brach, ththfinancier. he donated five million dollars last year for a study of the theory of reincarnation but he hoards tinfoil and string. i see obviously we're dealing with an eccentric. what is the tie in between green opal and brach though? right here. 'just south of the yucatan peninsula'

there every summer for the past 31 years. every year? and always on the ninth of september. that gives us two days before he leaves again. - it's almost too tight. - ninth day, ninth month. 9-9-9. doesese by any chance take a numerologist along with him? as a matter of fact, yes. who else besides the crew? le secretary. you like taking cruises on yachts? but how do we get rid of this secretary, brach has now? urgent family business. three day wireless. what about the routine we used on the albury affair? arrange for brach's secretary to be witness to a crime. then we'll hold him as a material witness in protective custody. it's an ancient, but artful dodge. clear with mr. waverly if he okays it throw that security operation sectioio

[slow music] well, the application should fool them. so, you're the new secretary the agency sent? y-yes, sir. my name is applegate edward. my references. five years with selden and company, eh? why'd you quit? (solo) 'i didn't agree with mr. seldan's policies.'

u'd agree with me? well, i understood this was to be a temporory position until your permanent secretary returns. yes. well, since i iis temporary i'm not gonna pay this sort of wage. i'll give you $300 a month.. ...less expenses for wastage and breakage. and i expect a day's work.. for a day's...pay. [laughing] well, i'm certain that you'll fifi my work entirely dated the sixth. ninth month, sixth day. the root factor is three. dated the fifth. no, scorpio is unfavorable. are you a tippler? [exhales] of course not, sir. what about women? are you a chaser?

cabbage juice and your pressed kelp, sir. - alright, you'll do. - well, thank you. we cast off at 1600, applegate. alert the crew, to make all preparations for leaving. ah, show him to his quarters, chuke.

now, are there sharks in this inlet? of course, their components have marvelous nutritional value. the soldiers throw raw meat out daily. the sharks have learnt to come-in close during regular feeding hours. careful, they expect their meal within the next half hour. [car approaching] ah, pay that one, one hundred, and mark it down. but i am now a colonel, mr. brach. oh, well, we raise your bribe when they've made you a general. just see to it that your people don't troop up here. i don't want my shoes shined.

currency to beggars.' have that jetty washed down thoroughly in disinfectant. chuke, cut open that shark. i want the spleen pulverized. - and you can have the liver. - oh. [chuckles] getting a little sick here, actually. get back away from me, you might have germs! cover up your mouth. it is time for you to inspect the harvest, sir. that's alright. you go back above that scow, and wait till we return. but i expect you to make up the time. oh, yes, of course, sir. you ththk it would be possible if one of the crewmen could take me back to the yacht anchorage? no, , 's an unnecessary trip. we'll be back within two hours. alright, chuke, never mind that. come on, comomon, let's go.

[transmitter beeping] [beeping continues] (solo on recorder) 'open channel d.' channel d open. enjoy your cruise,e, mr. applegate. i didn't catch a single fish yet. maybe you're using the e ong bait. well, so far, uncle walter seems to be just a kindly old maladjusted kook.

e. thinks you're in very dangerous wawars. oh? tenley's final words were, walter g. brach. tenley's final words? he's dead, and brach is very much alive. yes.

don't touch me. if you try to drag me back there, i'll use this. i will! allow me to introduce myself. i'm napoleon solo. don't touch me. i will!

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ing] [muffles] - now. - ah-- don't move, and don't makeke a sound. do what i tell you. or you take your chances with the cheetahs. alright? now, these are cindersol leaves. rub them all over yourself. on your face and your hands, everywhere. go ahead. that's it, here. it will kill the scent. alright, this is fern n ld.

alright, come on. [whispers] come on. they'll follow my trail back to the boat. then they'll be back. until you tell me where we're going. to whoever, or whatever, or wherever you just came from. back? i will not. alright. you stay right here, and wait for me. i don't think that there are too many poisonous snakes around. and there aren't any insects out until nighttime.

i am an agent for an organization known as u.n.c.l.e. 'and that's all i can tell you right now.' next question is, who are you? i am chris brinel. but i don't know how i got here or why? 'they must have kidnapped me.' they? i don't know who they were. someone talking in a dream, a nightmare. they wanted you for something? blackmail? ransom? what? i don't know. until yesterday,y, i was just a housewife. 'just an ordinary housewife in a suburb full of housewives'' 'in bethesda maryland.' last thing i remember was, i was shopping in a supermarket i was shopping.. david. - david? - my husband. 'and then suddenly, everything went black.'

hm. [cheetah growling] come on. [dramatic music]

alright, head out there. hurry. [cheetah growling] [cheetah growling] and the two little kittens found their mittens and soon ate up the pie. [both panting]

[chuckles] careful! especially since we provided mrs. brinel as your guide. (brach) 'welcome, napoleon solo.' well, i'm a bit surprisedd that you know my name. oh, we picked it out of the yellow pages of u.n.c.l.e.'s directory. steady chuke. he tends to become agitated at times. see you forced him to kill two of my favorite cheetahs. i'm m rry. and those indians are very accurate with their blow guns. the darts are tipped with a synthetic curare ou. that will render you intractable instantly. i could have done that anytime. so you mean, if there is a choice it's yours. - oh, yes. i always see to that. - mm-hmm. well, not this time. you see, i can kill you first. mr. solo, if you'll examine that gun, you'll find