go ahead, ms. taub. i'll join you in a moment. oh, farewell, my brother, farewell. what do you think you're doing? those guards are watching us. they never questioned my p papers. well, if you try and stop me after tender scene, they will. i can't bear to see you go. ugh.

he's overcome with grief. (male #2) 'please remain inin your compartments.' 'have your passports, visas and tickets ready, please.' 'plplease remain in your compartments.'

gentlemen, i think you've been hiding from me. i've been up and down these halls at least five times the last three minutes, looking for some semblance of authority. that's strange. we have tried to overlook no one, mister.. brickman. at least my reservations were made under that name. my travel bureau has brought countless tourists to this country. as a matter of fact, mylo jans himself once sent me a warm note of appreciation for my contributions to your country's commerce. and now i'm hehere escorting a group of american students 's virtues buying your products and warming to the generosity of you people. and all i ask is i be given one private compartment just one, separate from those juvenile delinquents. if you'll return to the delinquents, mr. brickman we will see what we can do about finding other accommodations for you. your compartment number? no, no. not again, not again. i-i, just let me wait here. - please. that's all right. - no. no, i have a better idea.

this way. we hold this whole one compartment for any last moment vip's, i think you call them. this way, mr. brbrickma don't be shy, mr. brickman. it's a little close in here. (male #2) 'dinner shall be served in the dining car.' 'vodka..' not out, no, no. oh, believe me, this time, it's for my stomach. no. wellll, this will never do. i have a proposal to make.

a civilized and business-like manner? here? and you suggest.. at dinner. in public. [laughs] fine, fine. uh, no. the dining car is this way. well, i don't suppose i could join you in a moment. fromom now on, whatever we do we do together. [train chugging] i have only two goals at the present, mr. solo. first, seeing that you avoid capture and trial for a murder

and second, recovering the dove. the first goal, i think you share with me. [laughing] although we might differ as to how you avoid capture. you see it's this way in my country, with the two of us. you and me. though different, we do, under normal circumstances complement one another. well, the point being, that however peculiarly we do have common interests and a common.. ...or rather, uncommon enemy. - vinegar. - thrurush.

[woman giggling] oh, what is it? children. i never liked them when i was one of them. they frightened me then and they do now. mr. brickmanan. - oh, miss-- - taub.

anion. oh, thank you. i'm sorry that you have to be reminded at all. 'uh, what i mean is' 'i do wish you'd let me know where you were.' 'there was a little trouble with the conductor.' but it-it's alright now. it's all...alright. won't you please join us? well, if you're sure i won't be interrupting. i am sorry, taub, but at this moment my friend and i must-- we must consider ourselves honored that you will join us. thank you. if you're sure it's alright. umm...is there anything special on the menu? the, uh, dove. the dove? yes, my friend wanted dove, but it wasn't on his menu. - oh. - oh, dear. you will excuse us. now! yes, i will be back in a moment. we'll just have to dry off.

now, look. i've told you those things are forbidden. - give it to me. - now? right now. but it's-it's not turned off. at this point, i don't care whether it is or it isn't. kirk. kirk, give me yours now, too. - oh, i don't have it. - 'well, where is it? i don't know. i have to look for it. well, then you better go and look for it. but my dinner'll get cold. you want my dinner to get cold? well, alright then. go a and look for it - where is it? - i hid it in the washroom. i left mine turned o on, too.

[static on walkie-talkie] 'it's s of no value to you no'' i don't know that since i don't know what that dove contains. that's a delicate dove. the jans peace prize. has the names of countless thrush agents order of battle in every key city' 'of this country in case of revolt.' all painstakingly, microscopically engraved. and jans did this? 'at my request. their strength is such, that we feared' 'we would need u.n.c.l.e.'s help.' 'if you wanted u.n.c.l.e to have it then' 'why don't you want us to have it now?' i told you. premier jans was strong enough to move against them with u.n.c.l.e's help.

they would be forced to try to smash us at once. u.n.c.l.e will protect the dove. we dare not chance it. until we are strong enough, the existence of that dove is a gun pointed at our heads. 'it must be destroyed.' i'm sorry. 'my orders are to bring it home.' thrush is an international band of renegades. and they exist in many areas besides your nation. my organization is at war against them no matter where we find them. it is never pleasant to kill one's friends to save ththem from one's enemi. but...in a business 'unpleasantries often occur.' if i can bring the dove back home u.n.c.l.e. can be of considerable help to you. we are, as you k know, very effective.

i will recover the dove. 'but i will also do this much for you.' 'when i recover the dove and if it's humanly possible' i'll...i'll help you to cross the border. on failing that, i must kill you.

mr. brickman, may i please see you alone now? - no. - yes. i'll be right there. that was unnecessarily rude. and if i were polite, i might involve her and end up having to liquidate a giddy young spinster. now what can i do for you? mr. brickman, i have a confession to make. i know that you are not mr. brickman.

'did you kill mr. brickman?' well, of course, i didn't kill mr. brickman. whatever gave you a silly idea like that? i overheard you in the washroom on the walky-talky. the walky-talky? i heard everything. i see. and you retain things very well? very systematically? and i know precisely what you mean by the dove. 'i've seen n it.' where? last night when you took it. i was there. you were there? doing what? teaching. teaching? there? well, in a peripatetic sort of way. yes. you know, europe is just one big museum. and i walk through it. museums, cathedrals, mausoleums.

you make it sound... pretty grim. oh, no. no, i-i like teaching g really. it's just that.. i spend so much time in other people's pasts i may end up not having one of my own. well, let's face it. who's gonna want to o blow open my grave? hi. you're with mr. brickman too, huh? where's he taking you? - come with me at once. - why? - they won't leave me alone. - why not? they think i am interesting. and so you are. i wouldn't deny that. well, there are certain assaults over my sensibilities i cannot stand. - well, then leave. - please.

i have misjudged you. you are not a gentleman. - oh, i am sorry. - it's alright. he doesn't seem that difficult to hane. well, maybe, but i can't do i . would you like some help? why? i mean, why should you offer? because i believe what you're doing is the correct thing. that simple. well, no, it''s not really that simple. but i do like you. and i'd like to help you for what that's worth. you are a qualifier. well, that's an occupational hazard. yes, i am familiar with those.

e very unpleasant. and if not for yourself you do have your students to look after. indirectly then? no. no. i've just got to get away from h him for two minutes. may i ask why? i...left something hanging.. '...in the air.' really. as a matter of fact, there is sosomething that you can do. just by sticking to your profession. [train chugging] and so...well, mr. brickman's companion may seem a little odd

ider what the poor man has suffered. his country's leading poet condemned to exile and privation. all his books banned. the poor man is so frightened he's even afraid of the sound of his own sonnets. he's just trembling at the.. at his return to the land of the living. i feel a little squeamish about ththis what are they staring at? well, maybe they heard you. do you think if we asked himim, he'd tell us about it? even recite one of his poems?

by the interest of youth. hey, let's go talk to him. why don't you tell us about it? what? [train whistles] [dramatic music] you don't remember any of your poetry? hey, what are you doing?

ou? give a little tease to that girl.l. what? what? where did you get that? on that poster of milo jans in the aisle. the one with the dove. somebody stuck it there. i bet i get this thing published. no, no photographs. (male #2) 'he ruined it. he ruined the picture.' did he? all passengers will disembark to cross the border immediately. (colonel) 'i repeat. all passengers will disembark immediately.' better get them off right away, ms. taub. oh, well. come on n now, childr. come on, children. let's go.

that idiotic colonel is the one man who can identify me. make a wish. truce. truce. i don't know whom to kill first. you, thehe colonel or myself. they'll be boarding any minute. if they cacapture you alive and with the dove.. ms. taub, do you stitill have the walky-talkies? yes. alright, satine. it's time to go home.

th-t-the colonel's in the lead. 'h-he's in the-in the third compartment, fourth car.' 'look out. look out. the colonel's getting on.' [music continues] - the colonel's coming this way. - hurry. [air hissing] - think i've almost got it. - almost isn't enough. now. now.

ooh. i'm so glad. god. i was afraid you didn't. without your help, i wouldn't have. i am sorry about poor satine. don't be.

one thing about this photo puzzles me though. what's that, sir? what is this thing that looks like a large seashell? (solo) 'well, that, mr. waverly, is all you'll see of satine.' and all i hope i'll ever see him. watch yourself. he may be listening. [laughs] that really isn't funny.

?? here's adventure! ?? here's romance! here's o. henry's famous robin hood of the old west, the cisco kid!