good morning. who is faisal shahzad? new details about the connecticut man arrested for that attempted bombing in times square. his life in the u.s., how he trained to make bombs in pakistan and how he was able to board a flight to dubai even though he had just been placed on the u.s. government ono-fly list. chilling account. a university of virginia lacrosse player charged with murdering yeardley love. a star on the women's team talks to police about what happened that night and why his lawyers are calling her death an accident. and to washington and back. former first lady laura bush speaks out live about her life before, during and after the years in the white house, and

we're there for a very intimate visit with her twin daughters at the family's texas ranch "today," wednesday, may 5th, 2010. captions paid for by nbc-universal television good morning. welcome to "today" on a wednesday morning. i'm matt lauer. >> i'm meredith vieira. faisal shahzad is said to be cooperating with investigators talking openly about his attempts to carry out a terror attack right here in new york. >> according to reports, shahzad told authorities he acted alone but he did say he was trained on how to make bombs during a recent trip to pakistan and why his arrest was remarkable coming just 53 hours after the attempted attack. we're now learning more about how close he came to getting away. a big question this morning -- how was a man recently placed on the no-fly list who purchased a last-minute, one-way ticket, in

cash, able to board a flight to dubai before authorities caught up with him? we'll talk about that and much more with new york city's police commissioner ray kelly in a couple of minutes. and the difficult recovery now under way in parts of the south following record rains and historic flooding. we're live in nashville, tennessee for the latest on that situation. as we said, former first lady laura bush will be here to talk about her new memoir. we'll get to that later in the show. let's begin with the arrest of faisal shahzad, his terror training and how he almost got away. nbc's justice correspondent pete williams is in times square with the latest. pete, good morning to you. >> reporter: matt, good morning. investigators say faisal shahzad has admitted building a bomb in an suv, then driving it here saturday night. but they say he also claims he acted alone, even though he admits getting training in his home country of pakistan on how to make bombs. officials have yet to offer an answer for a big question -- why did faisal shahzad try to bomb

times square? born in pakistan, he's the son of a retired air force officer there and a well-to-do family. shahzad came to the u.s. 12 years ago to study computer science in connecticut. >> he was fairly unremarkable as a student. didn't stand out in either a positive or negative fashion. >> reporter: he got a job as a junior financial analyst at this connecticut company, was married in 2008 and became a u.s. citizen a year later. he and his wife had two daughters, ages 1 and 4. but he fell victim to hard times, losing his $200,000 house to foreclosure. his wife and children moved to pakistan. since his arrest, officials say shahzad has been cooperative, talking freely and admitting that he planned to set off the times square bomb. he claims, they say, that he acted entirely on his own and so far, officials say there's no reason to believe otherwise. but prosecutors also say he told the fbi that he received bomb making training during a recent five-month stay in pakistan in an area where the taliban is

dominant. investigators are eager to find out who those trainers were and whether they had any role in directing him to carry out his plan of attack. shahzad was arrested just before midnight monday as he sat on an emirates airlines plane to dubai with the plane still at the gate. he was hauled off by the customs and border protection agents there, having been added only hours before to the no-fly list. the plane then pulled back from the gate but was quickly ordered to go back. >> emirates 202, have you the kennedy tower runway 22 right position? actually, i have a message for to you go back to the gate immediately. >> reporter: two other passengers were taken off, questioned about their possible association with him, then released. but the entire plane was rescreened. >> if you refuse to get off the plane, he was captured, he was arrested, got off a plane going to dubai. everyone was just, whoa.

>> reporter: it finally arrived, seven hours late. >> nobody panicked. everybody was so calm, everybody was so quiet. a lot of people had connecting flights and just wanted to get the hell out of jfk. >> reporter: on tuesday prosecutors disclosed more evidence that they say shows the suv found in times square was loaded with bomb components by faisal shahzad and abandoned three nights ago with smoke pouring out. inside the car investigators say they found keys to his connecticut house and to another car that he owned. the fbi discovered a prepaid cell phone he used to arrange the purchase of the car just last month. he used that same phone, they say, to call a pennsylvania fireworks dealer. the bomb in the suv contained more than 150 m-80 firecrackers, fertilizer was another component. officials say a search of shahzad's house turned up more fireworks of the type used in the bomb and bags of the same kind of fertilizer. >> if successful, it could have resulted in a lethal terrorist attack causing death and destruction in the heart of new york city.

>> reporter: as for how shahzad was able to board that flight to dubai, even though he was on the no-fly list, the government says the airline failed to keep its day ba bases up to date. well, starting today, all airlines must update their day ba within two hours of notice that someone has been added to the no-fly list. >> pete williams, thank you. now to pakistan where shahzad told investigators he received bomb making training. nbc's chief foreign correspondent richard engel is in islamabad with more on that part of the story. richard, good morning to you. >> reporter: good morning, meredith. the u.s. ambassador here has asked pakistan for cooperation. nbc news has learned that pakistani security officials have already arrested about a dozen suspects. pakistani police and intelligence sealed off a home of faisal shahzad's prominent family in peshawar as reporters gathered outside. shahzad visited pakistan last summer, apparently on a mission

to receive military training. that mission, pakistani officials say, began here in the bustlings port city of karachi. there shahzad met a contact, now in custody with ties to a militant group wi. with an introduction secured, shahzad says he then traveled alone into pakistan awar zone, the largest region of waziristan to learn to make bombs. in withaziristan, there are man willing teachers. shahzad is said to have stayed in withaziristan for several we. the pakistani government has led offensives here and considers the taliban in with a steer dan its biggest enemy. >> we condemn this incident and we will help and support u.s. to

bring these culprits to justice. >> reporter: in pakistan's capital of islamabad today, people seemed embarrassed by shahzad. another man said -- just because he's pakistani doesn't mean he has to be a terrorist. a pakistani military official this morning said he doubts the taliban dispatched shahzad to the united states but more likely, he said, shahzad came here to pakistan, received some training, met some militants, and then went back to the united states to carry out this attack. meredith, matt, back to you. >> richard, i'll take it. thank you. ray kelly is the commissioner of new york city's police department. commissioner, good morning. and congratulations on the work of your department on this. 53 hours. that's pretty amazing. >> the fbi, joint terrorist task force and nypd did a great job. >> this investigation is ongoing even though mr. shahzad is under arrest. at this point, ray, do you think he was part of a larger group? are you looking for other people living in this country or

elsewhere? >> as you say, the investigation is just beginning. i think it is too early to say that. obviously the destir get this information as quickly as possible certainly by the media but this is going to take a while. he is cooperating. he is talking and i think investigators want him to talk at his own pace. >> we've heard by several reports that officials in pakistan have either arrested or detained several people. can you confirm or deny that? what do you know about that? >> i don't know that. i don't know that for certain. >> but you are sharing information with federal authorities? because obviously, the attack was attempted here. >> absolutely, yeah. >> talk a little bit about this guy. i mean he is 30 years old. he is a father. he's a husband. comes from a fairly prominent family, though he had gone through some financial hard times. how does he change the profile of the type of person you're looking for in the future to prevent these kinds of threats? >> well, we don't really have an

exact profile. that's part of the problem. we did a report a couple years ago. two of our intelligence analysts, talking precisely about this. these are what we call unremarkable people who decide to kill innocent people in their own country. so it is very difficult for law enforcement to get their arms around this. it is an individual that, by all indications, wouldn't be involved in something like this but obviously he has been. he's admitting it freely. >> it is remarkable that in only 53 hours he was apprehended but there are a lot of questions this morning about how this guy who was recently placed earlier in that day on monday on the u.s. government's no-fly list, went to an airport with cash to buy a last-minute one-way ticket to dubai, and apparently checked no luggage. this is the kind of thing that would get me pulled aside for extra screening. how he, a, got past the ticket

counter and, b, got past passport control. >> these are very important questions that have to be asked. i don't have the answers to those questions. >> does it frustrate you as one whose department spent these 53 hours trying to round this guy up that he almost slipped through what had been an obvious trap? >> this is good news for law enforcement. investigations are never neat, they're never perfect. the fact is he was apprehended in 53 hours and he is giving us information. >> what about money? the federal government by the last report i saw gave new york city a little more than $250 million for the war on terror in the last year or so. how much more money -- i know mayor bloomberg is headed to washington today. how much more money would it kae, commissika take, commissioner kelly, for you to feel we are adequately funded for the war on terrorism? >> we always want more money. that's just the nature of the business. localities want money from the federal government.

we'd like more cameras, we'd certainly like more money for personnel. that's something that's probably not in the cards. it is difficult to get that from the federal government. cameras, more technology, analytic capability for our cameras. that sort of thing would be helpful. and the federal government has been forthcoming in that regard. this is an ongoing process. we work closely with homeland security. we work with the justice department. it's not easy to get this money, but generally speaking, they've been pretty good to the city. >> as i mentioned, it was a joint effort, but congratulations to your force on a job well done. commissioner, thanks very much. 12 minutes after the hour. here's meredith. the floodfloodwaters may be receding but this morning the death toll is rising from the record breaking storms that dumped more than a foot of rain on parts of the south in just two days. nashville, the capital of country music, has been particularly hard hit. that's where nbc's ron mott is this morning. ron, good morning to you.

>> reporter: hey, mir daereditht of the lights have returned here to downtown nashville but there is still block after block of darkness along the cumberland river which is receding, though leaving a huge mess in her wake. overhead, the flood's destructive and deadly reach was obvious tuesday. airplanes sat grounded under water. so did the grand ole opry and opry land hotel. the expansive opry land which could be shuttered for months is key to convention and tourism revenue here, host to 3,000 hotel rooms just at this location now closed for repair. on the ground in neighborhoods, the toll is harder to quantify yet easy to see as residents anxious to check their damaged homes are left to wait for the coast to clear. some who returned could only watch, still seemingly stunned by what happened over the weekend so quickly. >> nobody knew that the water was going to come down this way. we didn't hear no sirens.

>> reporter: jorge at least got inside his house wading through ankle-deep water but didn't find much to salvage. >> everything we have in there is -- it's bad. we have to dump everything. >> reporter: like many families, the family doesn't have flood insurance. nor does this couple. no time really. they just moved in. >> i lived in that house over there. that's the worst thing i ever seen, man. we just moved there friday. >> reporter: downtown, scores of businesses remain closed while flooded streets slowly resurface as the cumberland river steadily drops. now that the clean-up is under way, city leaders are already trumpeting a comeback. >> we are looking at a long recovery period. at the same time, i want to reassure everyone that nashville will fully recover and continue to be the great city that it is, a great place to live and a great place to visit. >> reporter: back in this section of town, a great reunion by kayaks. found, safe and sound, if not a

bit chatty. one of the bright spots that we saw here yesterday. now last night president obama declared parts of tennessee a major disaster, opening the flow of federal funds to aid in the recovery which is expected to take place in time, meredith. let us head over to the news desk. ann has a look at the rest of the morning's top stories. good morning, everybody. today, new hope in the effort to stop that massive oil leak in the gulf of mexico. work crews are taking a huge containment dome to the site. nbc's chief environmental affairs correspondent ann tam son thompson is in venice, louisiana with more. >> reporter: good morning, ann. they could deploy that dome as early as tomorrow sending it some 5,000 feet below the surface of the water to cover one of the leaks. one more indication of the growing urgency here as we found oil between the barrier islands and mainland louisiana. it did not take long for us to find the oil.

nine miles from the louisiana coast in breton sound, the first globs of oil appeared on the surface, getting closer to the state's eastern barrier island. we are about 3 1/2 miles from the island and this is what we found. oil in these brownish-red clumps. the closer we got, the oil formed long texturized streaks on the blue water. a mile away, it took on a lighter orange color. there we saw a shrimp crawler using a thick absorbant line. from the air, an oily slick on the pristine beaches of the barrier islands further south. louisiana's governor issued a call to arms to protect lake pontchartrain and eastern new orleans. >> we want to see the boom down here, jack-up barges down here. the contractors and trained fishermen deployed down here. >> reporter: southeast of new orleans, this battle is

personal. charles is the fifth generation of his family to make his living from these floodwaters. >> if we don't try, if this thing even beats us, at least i could say i went out there and i tried to protect our livelihood for the future. >> reporter: and preparations continue not only here in louisiana but all along the gulf coast, and even in florida where they now stretch from pensacola in the north, all the way down the west coast to the florida keys. >> anne thompson this morning, thank you. today in greece, a general strike and a massive ptest against big cuts in government spending. those cuts were ordered to help greece recover from an economic crisis that's affecting markets all around the world. this morning police used tear gas on some protesters near parliament. overseas markets are mostly lower this morning at tuesday 2 225-point drop in the dow. why the big drop? >> it was concerns over growth in the world as well as china.

there are fears other heavily indebted countries in europe will also need a bailout, including spain. fears are so great that the cost of insuring spanish and greek bonds against the possibility of default have hit records. in china, recent data is showing manufacturing may be slowing. investors ultimately fear that perhaps a global recovery could be derailed. >> melissa lee this morning, thanks so much. in georgia, a close call for hikers who got trapped in a rain-swollen river right above a 30-foot waterfall. rescuers were able to pull them to safety. president obama on tuesday announced which high school will get him as a commencement speaker. more than 1,000 schools had applied and the race for the top challenge and the winner -- kalamazoo central high school in michigan. those students celebrated when the announcement was made. 7:18. back to matt, meredith and al. >> ron trout is telling us this is derek jeter's

>> that's your latest weather. >> al, thank you very much. just ahead, new details in the murder of the star lacrosse player at the university of virginia. what yeardley love's accused killer, a member of the men's team, has told police. but first, this is "today" [ male announcer ] let's take the garden into our own hands.

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>> we've got lots of sunshine and temperatures are in the 50s, climbing into the low 80s with lots of sun. partly cloudy and friday near 80 and partly cloudy. we have a front coming through and may trigger thundershowers saturday morning. how is the traffic? >> it's a tough rush hour and the capital beltway jammed around van doern street. one more stop. loaded up along interstate 270. there is no reall the way back.

>> tonight at 5:00, expensive high tech methods can rid your home of dust mights, but will it

7:30 now on this wednesday morning, may 5th, 2010. cin cinco de mayo and a big day in the apple. meanwhile, i'm meredith vieira, alongside matt lauer. coming up, first lady laura bush. >> she is opening up about her public and private life in a revealing new book, an autobiography. she talks about a lot of things, including an accident she was involved in as a teenager that had tragic consequences, and a lot more from her years in the white house. this morning, laura bush is here to share some personal memories along with her daughter, who seems very interested in the book. >> yes, she is.

her mom's sitting right there. she better be! "today" contributing correspondent jenna bush hager is here as well. she'll tell us about the intimate conversation that she had recently at the family's ranch with her mom and also her twin sister, barbara. plus, the tennessee father arrested last year in japan when he tried to bring his children home after his children were taken there by his ex-wife illegally. he has not seen or heard from his children ever since. this morning he's speaking out in an exclusive live interview. but we want to begin this half-hour with a stunning admission by the men's lacrosse layer at the university of virginia accused of murdering yeardley love, a star on the school's women's team. nbc's jeff rossen is on the charlottesville, virginia campus with the latest. jeff, good morning to you. >> reporter: hey, matt, good morning. such an awful story. i've been reading through these court papers all night, all morning. disturbing details but its mystery now is beginning to unravel. believe it or not, this may all come down to a bad breakup between a boyfriend and girlfriend in college.

these two lacrosse players. a young woman is dead and that boy now behind bars all because of possible relationship problems. now this bombshell from the suspect himself that the night she died, the night yeardley love died, he admits he knocked her head into a wall overand over again. it was inside this campus bar at a post-exam party where 22-year-old jarryeardley love w spend her final hours sunday. police say when this stunning star lacrosse player went home her life would end. according to new court papers, her on-again, lately off-again boyfriend, george huguely, a player on the men's lacrosse team, was about to pay a visit, admitting to police he kicked his right foot through the door that leads to love's bedroom. huguely went on, confessing that night he was involved in anal ter case with yeardley love. he shook love and her head repeatedly hit the wall. officers found her face down on her pillow in a pool of blood, bruise on her face, her right

eye swollen shut. the victim, police say, of blunt force trauma. her roommate and another friend discovered her body. >> you believe this is first degree murder. >> absolutely. >> that he intended and planned to go and kill her. >> that's our belief. >> reporter: friends saw love and huguely had a turbulent romantic relationship that recently got physical. some say just weeks ago when they broke up, he tried to attack her in public. now police sources tell nbc news they're looking into possible death threats he sent her over text message. >> i think there is a lot of stigma on women to kind of deal with that and i would hope that there would be something we could do to prevent this kind of thing. >> before it gets to this. >> before it gets to this. we definitely don't want to be here again. >> reporter: huguely has been arrested for first degree murder. his school lacrosse picture replaced by a jail mugshot. now even with his stunning admission of violence, his lawyer is building a defense. >> we are confident that miss

love's death was not intended but an accident with a tragic outcome. in the meantime, george is withdrawing from the university of virginia and remains in the custody of the authorities. >> reporter: tuesday, his parents came to charlottesville to support their son but wouldn't comment. college friends say there were warning signs. at 6'1", 205 pounds, george huguely they claimed was aggressive when he drank and liked getting his way. in 2008 he was arrested for public swearing and intoxication and resisting arrest. allegedly screaming racial and sexual slurs at the officer. but his old friends back home in this wealthy d.c. suburb paint a different picture entirely. >> i'm absolutely shocked. the george huguely i know growing up, the george huguely that played in my backyard with me every single day was not capable of doing something like this. >> reporter: the crime has

rocked this campus to its core. the university of virginia, with its beautiful views and southern charm, has now lost a beautiful young woman in a murder as ugly as it gets. >> it's really sad because she was in the prime of her life when it ended. her family and friends are going to have to deal with that. >> reporter: there were a lot of questions here on campus. would the lacrosse season go on? after all, matt, the men's team is ranked number one in the country, the women's team ranked number four in the country. the school, the university, left this up to yeardley's parents, that is your final decision, whatever you want. they just decided last night the kids should play on, matt. >> jeff rossen in charlottesville for thus morning, thank you very much. meg hughbeck worked for the university of virginia and worked closely with yeardley love as an advisor during her years on campus. thank you for joining us. our sincere condolences. >> thank you very much, matt. unfortunate that i have to be here with you today, but thanks for having me. >> you wanted to talk this

morning because you wanted to take this beyond the headline of this tragic murder and you wanted us to know a little bit about yeardley. other than the fact that she was a great athlete -- we understand that -- tell me a little bit about her. >> well, i'm not going to go into great detail but i will tell you that she is absolutely the epitome of the university of virginia student. thomas jefferson would be proud to have such a young woman at his university studying. she just was lovely in every single way. >> how are her friends taking this? i mean obviously she made an impact on that campus. have you had a chance to speak to some of her friends? >> yes. they are obviously grieving. they are just devastated. but the loss of a very cherished member of this community and we're trying to help -- the university has been great at trying to help them through this. everyone here in the charlottesville community and at the university is really wrapping around the students at this point to try to support

them to the end of the semester. >> this was a young lady who was about to go off and i assume do big things. she was going to graduate in just a couple of weeks. what were her plans? what were her dreams? >> well, she will graduate, according to the university. i have no idea what her plans or dreams were but we know they were to go on beyond this university and live the mission of the university which is to enrich the -- our nation and the world. >> as i said, meg, i'm sorry. i know the entire university, clearly her family grieving and you as well. i appreciate you spending just a couple of minutes with me this morning. >> thank you very much. of course, our thoughts and our prayers are with the family in this very, very difficult time. thank you. >> ours are as well. meg, thank you. dan abrams is nbc's chief legal analyst. dan, good morning to you. if what we're hearing from police is correct, that this young man has already come forward saying he kicked the door in and then hit her head

against the wall several times, how do his lawyers now say this is an accident? >> well, you already see that his lawyers are crafting this defense. they, sounds like, are going to argue that there was some sort of altercation there, a fight between them, based on what his client has already said, that's tough. this is what drives lawyers crazy. right? the client has made this statement which is now tying. so the lawyer now has to move forward with that statement on the books and it sounds like the lawyer's not challenging the statement itself. he's saying, okay, yes, my client effectively made this statement but we think there are other circumstances that have to come into play. >> are they going for homicide here as opposed to murder? >> i think that they might be looking for possibly a not guilty entirely. if two people get into a fight, one person ends up getting hurt, you can argue that was an accident and as a result, there was no crime committed. >> but if you kick a door down to get access to a person, haven't you already crossed --

no pun intended -- a certain threshold? >> it takes a tough defense under these particular circumstances. it sounds like that's what they are pursuing. but you're absolutely right. remember, if the police are in fact saying it was premeditated, so they're not just saying this was a crime of passion. they're saying that he thought about this, he had made threats to her in the past, and then went over there to execute effectively on those threats. >> if they can prove some of those threats in the past, if for example some of those e-mails or texts that we've heard reported prove to be true, how does that impact him? >> it's tough. it makes it a very, very tough situation for him. you've got that, you've got his own words which i think are going to be -- have a big impact here. you've got the physical evidence and you've got his past experiences. the defense team may say shouldn't be relevant. prosecutors will argue that's part of a pattern of behavior on his part and is very relevant according to prosecutors. >> dan abrams, as always, thanks

very much. 7:39. let's get a check of the weather from al. >> announcer: "today's weather" is brought to you by preen garden weed preventers. we have a system moving thro good morning here with bright sunshine and a blue sky and the temperatures are cool live from the sky watcher camera. right now it's just near 60 in washington and 50s in the suburbs. 40s around the blue ridge of

shenandoah valley. highs should climb into the low 80 wise lots of sun and low humidity. near 80 again on friday. friday into saturday, a front >> when you want your latest weather, go to the weather channel on cable or weather.com online. up next, the father who was arrested in japan for trying to bring his own children home. this morning, he has no idea where his children are. we'll talk to him in an exclusive live interview right after this. twice as fast. ip we get double miles every time we use our card. ( thuds ) i'll take this. ( crashing ) double miles add up quick. and all of those. so we brought the whole gang. one adult, one goat please. it's hard to beat double miles. everyone knows two is better than one. introducing the venture card from capital one... with double miles on every purchase every day. go to capitalone.com. what's in your wallet? oh, poor baby.

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christopher savoi flew to japan last year to try to get his children who were taken there illegally by his ex-wife. instead he ended up in jail in japan and has not seen or spoek spok en to his kids since. on his son's ninth birthday last october, christopher wrote this letter from behind bars. >> andive abeen cruelly torn from the fabric of his life by this crazy injustice. >> reporter: at the time he was locked up in a japanese jail after being arrested for trying to reclaim his children from his ex-wife. now he has no idea where 9-year-old isaac and 7-year-old rebecca are. >> it's worse than a death. at least with a death there's closure. but i'm still left worrying about my children's welfare every day. they're alive, they're out there. i just don't know where. >> what does that do to a dad? >> it's horrible. >> reporter: last year, christopher divorced his wife of 14 years. the split was bitter and despite

agreeing in court that the children would live in tennessee, christopher says his ex-wife immediately began talking about taking him to japan for good. >> if you don't play by my rules, i'll have to go and take the kids and you'll never see them again. >> so you tried to get a restraining order to keep her from taking the children to japan. >> right. >> reporter: but after she testified under oath that she didn't really plan to move the children to japan, a tennessee judge decided no restraining order was needed. just five minutes later, she and the children were gone. that was when this 39-year-old father decided to take matters into his own hands. you make a decision, i'm going to go to japan, i'm going to get my kids back. >> they couldn't call me a criminal. they're my f blood children. >> reporter: christopher sneaked up on his ex-wife as she was taking the kids to school, snatched the children back and made a desperate dash to the u.s. consulate 47 miles away. he was arrested before he even made it inside.

you spent the next 17 days in jail. your attorney described your treatment, he said it amounted to torture. >> 12 hours a day of interrogation without a lawyer present and the hygienic conditions were just awful. >> reporter: he was released only after promising to leave japan and never contact his own children again. his attorney says the outlook is bleak. >> it's most likely that he will never see the children again until they're adults. >> reporter: that's because japan isn't party to an international treaty that would require it to promptly return a child abducted by a parent. in fact, japan has never once returned an abducted child to the u.s. a sobering reality that leaves this father with a heavy heart. >> i love them and i'll never give up on them and i'm always here. daddy loves them. >> christopher savoie is with us exclusively. christopher, good morning to you. you haven't seen your children in eight months. you don't know where they are and as your lawyer just pointed

out, you may never see them again until they're adults. that's a nightmare for any parent. how do you hold on to hope, chris? >> well, today there's going to be a resolution introduced to the floor of the house of representatives condemning japan for these -- this kind of behavior. and not allowing children who have been abducted to interact with their flesh and blood parents. i think that that's a step in the right direction. i think the american public knows that this is not acceptable behavior by a civilized nation. >> the resolution also calls for japan to return the children but it has no legal teeth, so why do you believe that the japanese government will pay any attention to it? >> i think this is just a first step. i mean this is -- we're friends, we're allies, friends don't let friends drink and drive, and friends don't let friend nations abduct children. >> yet that has been the pattern. your children are among 231 kids

who have been abducted to japan in just the past decade. since 1994, you told me 259 children have been taken to japan and not returned, not one of them. why do you believe japan has refused to comply with international law? >> it is a black hole. children go in, they don't come out. i think that there is a feeling of entitlement that, well, if these children have even one drop of japanese blood, that's where they belong. >> is it part cultural then do you believe? >> partially. the other problem though is a lot of people would say, well, why don't you just go over there and get visitation. the other problem is, unlike other countries, there is no visitation. there is no enforceable visitation for another parent. unfortunately. >> in fact, if you're in japan, both parents are japanese and there is a divorce, the wife automatically gets the child and the husband loses all kissdy. >> right. right. and so there are over 10,000 fathers in japan -- >> that a are watching this case as well? >> who are watching this case. some of them have written to me

and they are very much in support of us and these american families that have been impacted by this policy and they want change. they can't see their own kids in their own country. >> we've talk a lot in recent years about the case of david goldman whose son shawn was taken by his ex-wife to brazil. they never came back. after five years he finally regained custody of his son last christmas. how is this case different? >> this case deals with japan. brazil has problematic cases but they're still party to the haig treaty. in david's case it took years but he was able to use the court system there to finally make the right decision. japan hasn't returned one child ever. that's the difference. it is an absolute black hole. there is hope that pressure, international pressure and pressure from the american public can actually change this. >> chris, do you think that your children will ever know how desperately you were trying to reunite with them? >> i hope so. we're using social media. backhome.org, it is an

organization of parents, spelled without the "k" because our kids are missing. we have set up videos of the parents and a lot of information that can hopefully help use the internet to get our kids to know that we're out there, that we love them and that we miss them. >> wish you the best of dlauk. christoph luck today. see more of christopher's story sunday on "dateline" right here on nbc. just ahead, a revealing conversation with former first lady laura bush. but first these messages. my doctor said most calcium supplements...

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>> our final is 7:56. beautiful sun-lit picture of the white house. our nation's home for the president and first family. gorgeous picture. 67 degrees and good morning. i'm joe krebs. metro is in the process of adjusting the red line in peak travel time. more eight-car trains will be in service and are you to wait a minute or two longer for trains to arrive. the new schedule should be in place by june or july. police are cracking down on hov violators as part of the first ever ho va wearness day. police are stopping violators on i-270 and 250. they are patrolling 395, 66, and the dulles tollroad. it will continue with this afternoon's rush hour. we will take a break and

>> sunny today and highs in the low 80s and maybe thundershowers friday evening. how's the traffic? >> tough morning for a lot of folks making the trip in on 66. the dulles tollroad into the sun. it appears they put cones in the regular lanes. >> high tech methods could rid your home of dust mights, but wi

8:00 now on a wednesday morning, it is the 5th day of may, 2010. it is cinco de mayo. it happens to be a beautiful day here in manhattan. not a cloud in the sky, about 61 degrees, going up near 80 today. loving that. >> cinco de mayo! >> i said that. out on the plaza, i'm matt lauer, along with meredith vieira, and al roker. coming up in this half-hour, the former first lady, laura bush. >> that's right. she's written a revealing memoir in which she talks about the

first time about her journey from west texas to the white house. this morning she'll talk about everything, a tragedy in her past, the criticism her husband faced in office and what their private life is like now. plus, a unique opportunity to see what it is like to be a member of the bush family. mrs. bush sat down recently with her twin daughters jenna and barbara to reflect on her own childhood, her first date with their father, their wedding just three months later. jenna will be here to share that conversation as well. >> that was fast! three months. >> that's kind of like the time between you and matt. >> yeah, right. >> three years and counting. also a little later in the show, we've got our "money 911" experts on hand to answer all your financial questions. but first, let's gin sio inside. ann has a check of the headlines. the tsa is tightening no-fly rules as the suspect in the times square bombing attempt nearly escaped the country. officials say bomb suspect

faisal shahzad boarded an international flight monday ten hours after his name was put on the list. meanwhile, investigators say shahzad has confessed and told them he received explosives training in pakistan. pakistani intelligence officials say they have detained several people for questioning since shahzad's arrest. crews trying to stop that massive oil spill in the gulf of mexico hope to float a huge concrete steel containment dome to the site today. it is designed to bottle up the leak so oil can be siphoned off but it has never been tried in such deep water. floodwaters meantime are receding in tennessee and kentucky but are still too high for many people to return safely to their homes and businesses. water rose up to the wings of the nashville airport tuesday and official say it will be days before electricity is restored to the city's downtown area. a 1932 picasso painting brought a record price at auction last night. nude green leaves and bust sold for more than $106 million.

the auction house called the bidding spectacular. now here's brian williams with what's coming up tonight on "nbc nightly news." >> good morning. thanks. coming up tonight on "nightly news," the sexual revolution. not tonight, but it started 50 years ago with the advent of the pill. we'll look at how it's changed women's lives, really changed our entire society. our special report tonight on "nightly news." ann, for now, back to you. >> brian, thanks. 8:03. let's go back outside. >> it is nice being out here. >> it is nice. mr. roker has a check of the weather. >> i do. we have our friends here from atlanta. what school are you guys from? >> mount caramel. >> i like this young man. he says i couldn't think what have to write so i just brought a blank paper. you can fill it out later! let's check your weather, see what's going on.

good morning. high pressure bringing us blue sky and bright sparkling sunshine on this wednesday morning and a live view from the sky watcher camera and temperatures are warping up a bit. we are out of the 50s around the metro area. still in the 50s in many of the rur areas. low 80 wise lots of sunshine and low humidity. a slight chance of a midday shower. then friday evening into saturday morning, a greater chance of showers and thund >> you want to wish your cat a happy birthday? >> yes, al, i do. her name is cinco. happy cinco de mayo!

>> she's watching right now. >> she should be. >> the cat is watching. we're number one with cats 18 to 29. matt? >> all right, al, thank you very much. when we come back, the former first lady, laura bush, shares details of her remarkable life with the help of her daughter, jenna, right after this. our dollars a little stronger. and our thinking a little greener. let's grab all the bags and all the plants and all the latest tools out there. so we can turn all these savings into more colorful shades of doing. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. get mom the colors of spring with great hanging baskets and container plants at our everyday low prices.

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back now at 8:07 with the famously private former first lady laura bush who is now opening up about her life in a candid new ma'amer with called "spoken from the heart." for the first time she's revealing intimate details about her life from her upcoming in west texas to her eight years in the white house. we'll speak with laura bush in just a moment. but first, our contributing correspondent jenna bush hager has a few thoughts to weigh in this morning. jenna, good morning. >> good morning. very serious thoughts. one of the best things about my mom's new book is that i have a permanent record of her life and all of her memories that we can share together. so i sat down with my sister barbara over some texas limeade to talk about what she writes about and, of course, to laugh. >> our lives in those years in midland were centered on our family and our friends. often mother or daddy would come for dinner.

i would call mother late in the afternoon to see what she was cooking and we'd put our meals together around our little table. >> and now around our little table in crawford, my mother, my sister barbara and i spent a late afternoon reliving some of mom's memories as only a mother and her daughters can. >> so mom, one of my favorite things about your book is all of the great pictures. i think they're so much fun to look at. look how angelic mom looks right here. >> she looks so cute. >> you look very cute. were you say were you a very good child? >> i would say i was a very good child. a lot like you and barbara. >> or better than that. >> no, probably a lot like you and barbara. >> one question about this picture is what exactly motivated you? those cat glasses are -- >> this is probably when i was about 11, wearing these cat glasses and the poodle skirt. i had to put it in especially for the poodle skirt. it is a birthday party, as you can tell. that's my birthday photo. >> did boys like you when you were 11?

>> i don't think so. >> how could you resist a face like that? >> this is a very funny photo. this is when we were campaigning with grampy when he was running for president and we were on our way to kansas city and you jip (t&háhp& >> barbara's face is like, oh, she's at it again. >> were you scared of grammy at first? >> she is slightly intimidating, there is no doubt about it. i write in the book that we didn't really bond until we'd been married probably ten years when we all moved to washington to work on gampy's campaign. that was the first town we'd ever lived in the same town, bar and i. it gave us a chance to really get to know each other. and i loved her because she loved daddy so much. >> here's a picture of something we know very well that mom likes to do. clean. barbara, can you describe mom's

passion? >> mom has a passion for everything clean and orderly. >> do you remember whether she used to wake us up on saturday mornings with the first thing she would say was? >> get up and get organized? >> girls, you get up and organize, you're going to feel soo mu so much better after you do so. >> you don't know, this is the night after the 2000 election. you was wildly cleaning. this is when we thought we were going to know who had won that night but we didn't find out for another 36 days. and this is upstairs in the governor's mansion. we're just waiting to hear. so i started to load the dishwasher. >> out of stress? >> yes. there were a lot of dirty dishes. >> how did you know you loved dad? >> i met daddy on a blind date. actually jan and joey o'neal invited us over to dinner their backyard. it was just the four of us. what i loved best about him at the first was his sense of humor and how quick he is and funny he is and how much fun he is to be with and so it seemed really

meant to be. >> you guys got married three months later. barbara and i sometimes thought that was really fast. did anybody say, wow! >> only people who were sor of worried were jan and joey who fixed us up. they just thought we were moving a little quickly. but can you tell from this picture how happy we were. >> reporter: more than 30 years later, my parents spend their happiest moments here in crawford. prairie chapel ranch, a place they jokingly call the promiseland, is covered with picturesque canyons and an infinite texas skyline. here they once hosted more than a dozen world leaders. and it is a place of family, too. my mom and i decided to visit the part of the ranch we both love. a symbol of one of the happiest moments of my life. >> we wiho will present the brio be married this evening? >> her mother and i.

>> good answer. >> so this the cross. it was daddy's idea to bring in for your wedding and then to have here forever. so this is the spot where you got married. >> two years later. seems like it was just yesterday. >> it does seem like it was just yesterday to your mother, too. >> i'll ask one more thing, then i'll let you go because i know you have a very busy schedule but where do you see yourself in ten years? >> well, that's a good question for you to answer. hope i see myself surrounded by grandchildren. >> barbara? >> you set yourself up. >> you think you'll retire here? >> i think we'll stay here a lot of the time, which i hope we will. then we'll be busy, i hope, at the bush institute and the bush library. we'll be between dallas and here at the ranch. >> reporter: now, away from the pressures of the offices they held for eight years, my parents have returned to the home they

love. they can now exhale and live. >> i remember one summer evening working in the flower beds in our yard after the girls had gone to sleep. while the sun still hung low in the sky, george was sitting on the steps with the newspaper and i thought to myself, this is the life. and it was. >> jenna, my goodness, what a great job you do. >> well, she's a very easy interview. >> she's a very easy interviewer. >> let me ask you to take off your reporter's hat for a moment and put on your daughter's hat because you've read the book. what was the most poignant moment for you? what did you learn about your mother that really touched your heart? >> well, it was really wonderful to read. she is a private lady from west texas so she didn't tell us much about her life. so when we read about how much she wanted us, and how hard it was for her to get pregnant with us, it really made us understand

the bond that we have now and why when she says she wants her chicks to be home with her, now we get it. >> a mother hen. >> but it also comes out of your own experience being raised as an only child and knowing your mom and dad really wanted another child as well. so all your life did you feel as though you were treated with -- in a special way? does it make sort of sense in terms of how you were treated knowing how much you were wanted? >> when we got grounded and had to clean our room it didn't really make sense then. but now it's, as an adult and the relationship we have with her, it makes perfect sense. >> what about this cleaning? how far will laura bush go? >> she'll go to the extremes. she'll go to the extremes. when i go to her house now in dallas, i make my bed like a good guest should. she remakes it. yes, you do, mom, with the hospital corners. >> do you do this, mrs. bush? >> not really. >> mother, you didn't just

remake my bed when i was there? >> well, okay. >> she also loves to clean the bathtub. >> oh,dy not know this either. why would you love to clean a bathtub, mrs. bush? >> there's nothing grocer than a dirty bath. i don't really love to clean a bathtub but i do like things straight and orderly, all in the proper place and in the dewey decimal order. >> in the green room she windexed off all the pictures and hung them properly. >> all right. well, that's really good. your piece is really great, jenna. thank you so much. we'll have more with first lady laura bush in just a few moments. thanks so much, you guys. hang tight. right after this. [ female announcer ] when is it okay to lose the cover-up? ♪ when you can. take the special k challenge... and lose an inch from your waist in two weeks. so lose your cover-up, and show off your confidence.

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♪ sunny taste. sunny spirit. sunny d. brings out the best in kids. ♪ sunny d we're back now at 8:19 speaking with the former first lady, laura bush. her new autobiography is called "spoken from the heart." mrs. bush, again good morning. >> thanks, ann. >> what words best describe your lives now having once been the

most public couple in the world? >> well, we have a private life again. a very normal life. we have a new house in dallas that i've had a lot of fun furnishing because all of our furniture is in our ranch house, other furniture we had before. we spend time in dallas and then we go back to the ranch but we're busy. we're busy working on building the bush presidential library and the bush institute that will be part of the library and we've already started the institute programming even though the building won't be complete until probably 2013. >> you've been writing your memoirs. >> and of course the whole year working on this book and george is working on his book right now, too. >> yours is wide-ranging. it's candid and it's deeply personal. you talk about having been an only child. you talk about having been engaged to your husband after just six or seven weeks of dating. you also write that you never did give your husband an ultimatum to stop drinking. >> that's right.

>> that has been reported. >> that was sort of the joke afterwards that we said it was -- >> you did say, however, that you did let him know that you thought he could be a better man. >> i let him know that for sure. we talked about that a lot. drinking was very common part of the culture in west texas. everyone knew -- we knew drank. our social life was eating mexican food on friday nights and drinking margaritas and then going to somebody's house for dinner on saturday night for a barbecue and putting -- people would bring appetizers or other food. there was a lot of drinking. but slowly, a lot of people started to quit, and george quit when we were 40. and he just is very disciplined. he could do it without getting help. not many people can. a lot of people do need to get help. so i want to urge people who want to quit to try to get help if they need to. >> you also describe the strain on your husband after 9/11 and that he slept fitfully and that

you, you write, being nearby was how in those days, weeks and months reassured each other we are two symbiotic souls. >> that's really how we got through those months and years after september 11th. that's just being together, just the comfort of each other's presence. >> you also write about your key decisions, his key decisions. for example, in 2007 when the president announced the troop surge in iraq. opposition came at us from democrats and also from within the administration itself. you write, what we endured is the meanness of spirit, of viciousness and a cruelty that i hope no political family will ever be subjected to again. you sound a little hurt, maybe even a little angry in that. >> well, i mean it's difficult. it's very difficult to make the sorts of decisions that presidents have to make. and obviously there are a lot of different opinions that come from every quarter, from every side. but ultimately, the president is

elected to represent everybody and to make the choices that he thinks are the very best for our country, and he didn't think we should leave iraq. he thought if we left, that we would be abandoning a country to go on back to the harbor be terrorists. and it was very important for us to stay there. fortunately, the surge seems to have worked and we're seeing now a democracy being built in iraq and i'm proud about that. >> about the 2008 presidential campaign, you write, "i wondered if barack obama who spent far more time attacking george than he did his opponent john mccain would want to amend his words once he discovered the reality of the white house and was himself confronted by the challenges and crisis that hit a president every day, all day." would you like an apology from president obama? >> no, no, no, no. that's not what that is for. not at all. not at all. that was not why that was there.

what happens -- and i know he knows this now, too, for sure -- is that every problem in the world comes to the desk of the president of the united states. all day. all the time. and that every problem is a problem that other countries look to our country to solve or to work on or to help them solve. they want our help and they want our steadfast friendship and as long -- i mean including all the domestic problems we have. but international problems also. and i put in the book that i think there is a time when presidents probably say, let's make something happen, they probably wake up in the morning and say, "i hope nothing happens today." >> one of the most poignant passages, you write for the first time about being 17 and accidentally killing a friend of yours, mike douglas, in a car accident. it was november 6, 1963. i know it pains for you to probably have me ask you this question, i'm sorry to do so. but in your book you write about

it really poignantly and you've never really talked about it. how do you reconcile now having taken someone's life? >> well, i mean, you never do. i never will. i mean the guilt is always there. >> it never leaves you? >> it never leaves you, no. obviously you move on and, i mean at this age now, instead of 17 -- i won't say how old i am but i'm on up there. i look at it even in a different perspective now, and know how horrible it was and what a profound loss it was for the douglases, for mike's parents. >> it broke your heart to hear them cry. >> yeah. it's always tough. it will be tough for the rest of my life. >> do you think that this helped channel you in some way? >> i think it taught me a very, very difficult lesson, and that is that tragedy happens and that things happen to you or you cause things to happen that are -- that you can't ever change, that no matter how much you might want them to change,

there's nothing you can do to change them. it's a life lesson that i learned early and learned the hard way. >> i tell you what, i could talk to you forever because the humor in this book which we haven't even h 8:26 is the time and 68 degrees. blue skies in the nation's ta capital where we will have the forecast after the news. a candlelight vigil will be held for the lacrosse player murdered in her apartment. yardly love's former boyfriend is charged with first-degree murder. his attorney calls love's death an accident with a tragic outcome it shows he kicked in her door and repeatedly slammed

bright sunshine and a live view from the sky watcher camera show the sun on the landscape. beautiful high pressure over the region and temperatures into the 60s. 66 in washington. afternoon highs hitting the low 80s with lots of sun. near 80 on friday and showers and thundershowers friday evening into saturday morning. how is the traffic? >> time to take a live look. this is clarksburg and it is still crawl for example before 121 to the beltway just volume. one more stop on 395 northbound.

hov enforcements big time today. >> tonight on news 4 at 5:00, expensive methods can rid your home of dust

8:30 now this wednesday morning, may 5th, 2010. that makes it cinco de mayo and a large crowd seems to be enjoying themselves here on the plaza. having a good time. just ahead in this half-hour, with mother's day on sunday, we'll have fascinating science

behind the mother-baby bond. then a different kind of bond between a family and a family dog. a very well known animal lover has written a book. this is not a celebrity pooch book. this is like a textbook. everything you need to know about raising a dog, choosing the right dog. it's very, very educational. beth will talk to us about that. if i dare to go sit in my seat next to that dog. >> wonder how many times howard's been in the doghouse. that's another story. plus, grilling season has arrived. mark bittman says he knows just what you need to add that extra flavor to your next barbecue. homemade spice rubs. it smells great in our kitchen. also coming up this nonmorn, first lady laura bush has agreed to stick around and answer some

e-mailed questions from our viewers. ba

good morning. we have a beautiful blue sky and sparkling sunshine on wednesday. temperatures warm up after a cool start. we are planning into the 60s. 66 in washington. highs reaching the low 80s with with lots of sunshine and partly cloudy and into the low 80s and on friday, we will have more clouds developing by the afternoon as the front approaches and may trigger showers and thundershowers that may linger into saturday morning. >> and that's your latest weather. now, let's head on down to ft. meyers, florida and say hello to uncle willard scott. how are you, sir? >> hello to my favorite weatherman. i love you. everybody knows mother day's this weekend. a sad one for you because you lost your mother and my mother's been gone for 30 years but i love her, think about her every day. don't forget, send her some roses. happy birthday from smucker's.

the greatest name in jam, toppings for ice cream and natural peanut butter and bernice chodosch from the bronx, new york. 100 years old today. retired teacher. volunteered to provide tax assistance to old people until she was 80. how about that? that's the secret, keep on keeping on. don mclucas lake forest, illinois. attributes longevity to his loving wife annie mae and have a little scotch wine. plays a mean fiddle they tell me. herta heim. teanext, new jersey. 103. a former holocaust survivor. watches the stock market daily and gives her grandchildren advice on what to buy and sell. probably does that better than a lot of brokers. fannie stanley, naples, florida,

right down the road. known for being the rack in the family. never worrying and always smiling. that is good. we have mamie trigiani. 100 years old today from roseto, pennsylvania. and, retired teacher, avid reader and brings books and games to patients at local hospitals. ethyl couch, franklin, ohio. 103. loves to quilt and crochet pieces for anybody who wants to make a quilt. attributes her longevity to never smoking and drinking. how about that? that's like our crew down here in florida. they can't afford it. now back to new york city with a great american, uncle matt. >> willard, thank you very much. when we come back, brand-new images that really show the bond between a mother and a child. we'll talk about those. but first, this is "today" on nbc.

>> announcer: this portion of "today" is brought to you by enfamil premium with triple health guard. this morning on "today's moms," new technology giving us a stunning new look at the bond between mother and child. but first what some moms had to say about their bonding moments. >> the initial moment of bonding occurred during the sonogram at the hospital when we saw the image of the child. that was really thrilling to see. since then, for me bonding has really occurred during the times when the baby's been moving. one of the great ways for me to bond is by touching my belly or have anya touch my belly. >> i can feel it. >> it's just been the most profound experience that i've gone through. >> i think that you really

become a mom the moment you see that positive sign on your pregnancy test. you just suddenly don't feel alone anymore and then the feeling of bonding with your child is intensified with every milestone. one of the most special moments is the first time that you lay eyes on them after they're born and you realize, like you just met this person but you would be willing to step in front of a bus for them. you're so connected, your souls are connected. it is the most amazing feeling in the world. >> one time i was breast feeding her and there was a moment where her little hand came up and she reached up and she touched me. i wanted to cry. it was one of the most emotional moments for me. it felt like she just wanted to feel my heart. i can always feel hers, you know when you hold them close, you always feel them. but to have her reach out for me, i just felt that that was a very special bonding moment for the two of us.

>> deepak chopra and alexander diara created remarkable images that show the bond between mothers and babies. i think the key is biology. there is really a physiological component to bonding. not just the emotional connection. right, alexander? >> oh, absolutely. one of the things depak will speak to is biology. for the very first time we're mapping the biological and physiological phenomenon of the mother and child from the moment of conception all the way up until 1-year-old. absolute magic. >> the project began with conception to birth, now you've taken it from birth to 1-year-old. what's the power of touch in terms of bonding? >> well, it's part of a whole symphony. touch, smell, gazing at the eyes. this all sets off a cascade of hormones, hormonal responses and

things that aren't on the immuno mod u laters. it is a changing of biological responses between the mother and baby. >> i've done stories on children in orphans in romania, russia where they didn't get the bobbeding in the bobbed i bonding in the beginning and this is the proof. >> it causes the release of growth factors. if children are deprived of touch they don't grow as much. >> alexander, you also say making eye contact is very important. >> the eye contact is another stimulus. so the ability to actually stimulate the brain is the kinds of things that are making those folds in your brain be created and actually be able to embed memories in them. >> what do you hope people take away from this? >> the marvel of depak.

>> i think we should restore motherhood to its most sacred profession, as the most sacred profession, the future of humanity is with the mother and love comes from them. if you give children this love, it will solve many problems. >> thank you so much. up next, how to raise the perfect puppy with howard stern's wife. but first -- this is "today" on nbc.

we're back at 8:46 with how to pick and raise the perfect dog. beth stern, wife of radio personality howard stern, has dedicated herself to animal rights advocacy. now she's written a new book called "oh, my dog," how to choose, groom, nurture, feed and

care for your new best friend. hi, beth. >> hi, matt. it is so nice to be here. bianca is so happy to be here as well. >> as long as she faces that direction and lays down and stays still, we're in great shape. she's actually a terrific dog. >> she's going to make herself right at home. >> that's okay. we like that. i was expecting a celebrity pet book. this is kind of a textbook. why did you want to write this? >> first of all because i'm celebrity wife and it seems like these days all of the celebrity wives get book deals. hasn't annette gotten her book deal yet? >> no, not yet. >> in all honesty, i've been the spokesperson for the north shore animal league in america, the largest no-kill and rescue facility in the world. i'm active with wildlife rescue center, i rescue animals, i love animals, i tell people, encourage people to not buy from pet stores, go to your local shelters, research proper breeders. people have just assumed through my animal work that i'm an expert. i am so not an expert.

>> but you went out and found the experts to do the research for this book. >> absolutely. >> i would imagine, even with all your experience dealing with animals, had you to learn some stuff. >> i learned so much. the problem with people on a daily basis would ask me their dog questions. i'd go right to the internet. matt, there is so much bogus and misinformation on the internet. i didn't know what kind of answers to give these people. but through my association with all of the north shore, i have these resources right at my fingertips. i know phenomenal veterinarians, phenomenal behaviorists. i know groomers, the top of their field. why don't i gather them? all the people on the street who have asked me questions, my questions. i came up with almost 500 pages of information. >> it starts from the beginning where even choosing the right dog for your family, how do you know the dog is a good match. you write something i want to bring up in the book. okay? "howard and i think she's just about perfect," talking about

bianca. but bianca has been very needy from the start. she follows me from the bathroom, watches me put makeup on. when i make dinner there is always a 50-pound lump at my feet. she also farts. took me a good year before i broke down and asked our vet about the embarrassing situation which was helped by tweaking her diet. now i know howard. he has a weird sense of humor. you're sure it's bianca? are you positive? >> howard has blamed bianca when i -- i know the difference. but i have to say, through my research, i realized that i was feeding bianca a major name brand food. what i write about in my book, you can take my book to the store with you and learn how to read the back of a dog food bag. i was feeding my dog a name brand food that consisted mostly of peanut shells. i gradually changed her diet. i learned some great food. it is a gradual process which i write about in my book. and i put her on a new food and she's thriving.

she's fluffier, friskier. >> you've become an educated consumer and that's what you're passing on to other people. >> i think anyone who has a dog, both the dog and owner will benefit from my book. and it is a great gift for mother's day. >> it really is. one thing, a lot of people look at you and say she's married to howard stern, he's so crazy. knowing him, he's like the most normal, likable nice guy. i know he probably hates when i say that because it blows his reputation. >> i love that. because you know us on a personal level. he really is. i've been with howard for almost 11 years now and he really is so not -- >> dare i say even caring! he's crazy. i'm making myself nauseous. >> he's as passionate about animals as i am which makes everything so much better. >> beth, good to see you. good luck with the book. >> thank you so much, matt. >> my pleasure. 8:50. again the book is "oh my dog." up next,

this morning on how to cook everything "today," spice rubs. mark bittman says with memorial day barbecues just around the corner, don't buy these rubs, make your own. he is a "new york times" columnist and author of "how to cook everything." mark, good morning to you. why can't i just go and buy them in the store? >> of course you can but have

you no idea what's in them if you buy them in the store. have you no idea how long they've been sitting around and no control over the flavor. we'll look at four different spice rubs today. this way you can figure out what you like. the hardest thing is -- well, we'll get to that. we're going to start with the curry powder. basically we have cloves, cardamom, cumin, bay leaf, and if you don't have these, you can improvise, substitute, leave stuff out or you can go shopping. >> okay. >> then you toast them in a dry skillet. obviously this isn't hot but it was. and -- >> for how long? >> 30 seconds or a minute, just until it is really fragrant. then comes the real hard part, which i'm playing with here. getting the spices into the spice grinder. >> why do you need a funnel? >> you need a bigger opening at the bottom. >> we don't have much time to do this. >> well, anyway --

>> you put this in the grinder. >> here, do this. >> there you go. thank you. >> teamwork. >> that's right. >> this is like a normal coffee grinder. >> yeah. use a regular coffee grinder. you just basically pulverize that. can you see any of that? >> no. >> well, you might. >> all right. >> then we can throw them back in here just so you can see. at that point you have this beautiful powder. and you can put it on your -- you don't need any marinading. you don't need any time. >> just put it on and grill right away. >> what's nice, too, a little bit more after you cook. here we have beef kabobs, chicken kabobs, veggie kabobs. this is chinese sort of traditional spices, peppercorns which are great, fennel, cinnamon and cloves.

you grind those together. smell this, it is really great. >> this does smell fantastic. >> in a stir fry, a little pinch of that, a bit more again in the end. >> that lasts? >> keep it in a tightly sealed container and it will last for months. >> oh, my gosh. >> we have brawn sugar, paprika and chili powder, black pepper and cumin. just finishing up with this lamb, a french mix which is pepper, coriander and cloves. if you have coffee or spices in here, you want to use coffee, put a little raw rice, grind that up and it cleans it out. >> mark bittman, thank you so much. make me a rub any time.

>>. >> a beautiful day in the in addition's capitalment good morning. today you will have the chance to step aboard a new modern street car. d dot will unveil one of the three street cars at the city center lot. people will learn how the street cars will operate in the district. they will begin operating in 2012. it's 50 years since the street car was in use. they can access the showcase at ninth and eighth street and ends on saturday. we will have the weather and traffic when we co moms love tulips. any second now, they are going to place me at the center of the table. edible arrangements bouquets beautiful like flowers, but unforgettably delicious, any second now... visit, call or go to ediblearrangements.com

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find out what an experienced re/max agent can do for you. nobody sells more real estate than re/max. visit remax.com today. bright blue sky with sparkling sunshine and warm into the 60s and the low 80s by mid-afternoon. partly cloudy and low 80s with thundershowers friday evening and a lingering shower saturday

morning. dry through the period and turning cooler over the weekend. sunday sunny in the 60s and monday remaining cool. how is the traffic? >> we will head over and start with northern virginia. look at the feks in the regular lane. 66 jammed and about ready to end for the morning. they will be back in the afternoon. heads up. the initial reports of a serious crash and overturned car on 270 southbound on old georgetown road. wreck of eye vehicles are en route. >> coming up tonight, expensive [ male announcer ] when you buy a car, what are you really buying? a shiny coat of paint? a list of features? what about the strength of the steel? the integrity of its design... or how it responds... in extreme situations? the deeper you look, the more you see the real differences. and the more you understand what it means to own a mercedes-benz. the c-class. see your authorized mercedes-benz dealer

for exceptional offers through mercedes-benz financial. ♪ we are back now with more of "today" on a wednesday morning, cinco de mayo, the 5th of may, 2010. actually a picture-perfect day here in the northeast. a lot of people out enjoying it. i'm matt lauer, along with natalie morales, al roker out on the plaza. we'll have more with the former first lady, laura bush. she's opening up in a brand-new memoir about her life not only in the white house but prior to that time as well. very revealing and candid look at her life and after her interview with ann, a lot of our viewers had questions. they sent them in on e-mails and mrs. bush and her daughter jenna are sticking around. they're going to answer some of

those questions from you coming up in just a couple of minutes. then a little bit later on, on "today's" "money 911," we'll talk about the pitfalls of dipping into your retirement account to pay for your mortgage. plus, where to find out if you qualify for free cash for college. plus in honor of cinco de mayo, what would it be without guacamole? we'll have our first annual guac-off. guacamole. i'm sure some tequila in there, too! >> let's hear it for tequila! >> we made it through the entire open before we got a cheer and it was on tequila. >> tequila! >> let's get the headlines from ann. this morning there are new details about faisal shahzad who vethders say has admitted to building a bomb inside an suv and driving it into times square. nbc's justice correspondent pete williams has more now on this

story. >> reporter: officials say shahzad has been cooperative talking freely and admitting that he planned to set off the times square bomb. he claims, they say, that he acted entirely on his own and so far, officials say there's no reason to believe otherwise. >> this is going to take a while. he is cooperating, he is talking and i think investigators want him to talk at his own pace. >> reporter: prosecutors also say he told the fbi that he received bomb making training during a recent five-month stay in pakistan. in an area where the taliban is dominant. investigators are eager to find out who those trainers were and whether they had any role in directing him to carry out his plan of attack. shahzad was arrested just before midnight monday as he sat on an emirates airlines plane to dubai with the plane still at the gate, he was hauled off by the customs and border protection agents there, having been added only hours before to the no-fly list. the plane then pulled back from the gate but was quickly ordered to go back. >> emirates 202, have you

kennedy tower runway 22 right position. actually i have a message for to you go back to the gate immediately. >> reporter: on tuesday, prosecutors disclosed more evidence that they say shows that the suv found in times square was loaded with bomb components by faisal shahzad and abandoned three nights ago with smoke pouring out. inside the car, investigators say they found keys to his connecticut house, and to another car that he owned. the fbi discovered a prepaid cell phone he used to arrange the purchase of the car just last month. he used that same phone, they say, to call a pennsylvania fireworks dealer. the bomb in the suv contained more than 150 m-88 firecrackers. fertilizer was another component. officials say a search of shahzad's house turned up more fireworks of the type used in the bomb and bags of the same kind of fertilizer. >> if successful, it could have resulted in a lethal terrorist attack causing death and destruction in the heart of new york city. >> reporter: as for how shahzad was able to board that flight to

dubai own though he was on the no-fly list, the government says the airline failed to keep its list current. starting today, all airlines must update their databases within two hours of notice that someone's been added to the no-fly list. pete williams, nbc news in times square. today in greece, a general strike. a massive protest and violence over big cuts in government spending. those cuts were ordered to help greece recover from an economic crisis that is affecting markets around the world. this morning, police used tear gas on some protesters near parliament. at least three people were killed when a building was set on fire. the coast guard says today that british petroleum oil company has capped 1 of 3 oil leaks in the gulf of mexico, but that that action alone will not stop the flow of oil. crews are also hoping today to tow a 100-ton containment dome to the site. officials in tennessee say it will be several days before floodwaters recede enough to allow a full damage assessment. on tuesday, president obama

declared major disaster areas in four counties. in georgia, a close call for hikers who got trapped in a rain swollen river right above a 30-foot waterfall. rescuers were able to pull them to safety. a rescue of a different kind in oxnard, california where a bear roaming a neighborhood got stuck in a tree after the bear was tranquilized. firefight then fitted the bear with a harness and later lowered it to the ground. just waking up to be released back into the wild. five minutes past the hour. time for a check of the weather with

good morning. high pressure bringing us broit sunshine and a blue sky on this wednesday. live view from the sky watcher camera and the sun is warming up to 70 degrees in washington. upper 60s to near 70. the rural areas in the 60s now right near the bay near 70. highs reaching low 80s with lots of sun. part low cloudy and into the low 80s. a greater chance of showers and thunder friday night and saturday morning.

>> that's your latest weather. ann? >> al, thanks. back now with more of "today" on this wednesday morning, the 5th of may, 2010. we're going to be talking about the first lady, laura bush. she's written a revealing memoir, the tragedy in her past and how she's handled criticism of her husband while in the white house. laura bush is here with 16 her 2 daughters, jenna bush hager who is a contributing correspondent for "today." they graciously stuck around to help answer e-mails because we got a lot of people responding to the e-mail we just did. one of the ways people responded, mrs. bush, is via twitter. >> oh, they did. >> do you tweet? >> yes, i am. >> you are a tweeter? >> i'm on twitter now with my new book. i'm going to twitter during the book tour so i'll be twittering that i was on the "today" show today. >> what's a tweet name? >> we got to find that out. >> laura bush? here's a tweet name.

at photo gal 15. she writes what would people be surprised to know about the former first lady? best dish she cooks, fav fast food, and favorite musician? you want to take this one? >> i'll answer this because i think she'll answer it incorrectly. well, as far as favorite fast food, we weren't allowed to east fast food growing up so i think she wouldn't even know a fast food restaurant. in fact, when we were little we said we want to have our birthday party at old mcdonald's. she said, do you really? okay. she took us and we said where are all the animals. >> they thought it was a big barn! >> favorite musician, she's a r rastafarian. she loves bob marley. she used to rock us to bob marley songs when we were little. she also used to think van morrison would be her second husband. she loves van morrison. >> van morrison!

>> back in the day. >> talk about this music. you have quite a collection. >> i do. i have a very large collection. all my old records, real records, that barbara in fact still has a turntable. >> who else likes bob marley do you think? >> i like a lot of country music as well. i love george jones. i got to introduce george jones when he won the kennedy center honor and that was a thrill to get to meet him. i have a big wide collection. of course willie nelson. i write in the book that when my dad's favorite songs was "london home sick blues." jerry jeff walker and so -- >> the first concert she took us to we were in first grade was paul simon for his grapevine tour. >> bob marley and laura bush. i just can't imagine youby b b beebopping and singing to your girls bob mari. we have a question from hockey

mom. how do you handle the teenage years and all the attitude teenagers gives? i have five boys,boys are easier than girls. >> well, i don't know about that since i didn't have a boy. but i will tell you, nothing is more intimidating than two 13-year-old girls. >> mom, we didn't give any attitude! what are you talking about? >> what would you say? how do you handle -- i don't know if you want to say this, but there are people who -- >> the way you do handle it is with humor. that helps. it helps that their dad was funny and liked to be funny and he could sort of diffuse the tension when teenage girls were making things tense around the house. >> making things fun around the house. >> does it ever end? >> it never ends, as you can tell. >> i think i better switch over to an e-mail from connie in cleveland. serious question. she's asking, what was the best and worst day in the white house?

mrs. bush. >> well that's a very difficult question. of course the worst day was september 11th. i mean that changed everything. and the whole grief of it. i felt like just i went into a huge mourning over everything that happened and watching it all. then the next day and the day after and the day after meeting the families who lost somebody on september 11th. i don't know what i would say, there were many really great days. for the best day we got to host pope benedict on his birthday at the white house. >> made him a cake. >> and had a cake for him. that was a really beautiful -- 13,000 people showed up on the white house lawn to meet him. then we had so many other great world leaders that came that it was fun to know. but we also had fun family times. we always had george's birthday party on july 4th because his birthday's the 6th of july. so we'd watch the fireworks from

the white house and jenna and barbara would invite all their friends. then all of our best friends would come from around the country. that was fun. >> we've got an e-mail that's anonymous -- what do you miss most about being in the white house? >> well, i miss the people that worked there. i miss the staff. the butler that we know very well and i always joke and say i miss the chef the most. george does, too. i miss all the people. that's who you miss the most when you leave. >> xo kathleen asks on twitter, who is your favorite president, mrs. bush? >> well that's easy. i have two favorite presidents. >> i bet you can guess. >> president bush and president bush. >> yours as well? >> yeah! >> well, i love to read about lincoln. and george and i both looked at lincoln's life a lot while we lived at the white house, because he lived in such a really terrible time for our country when we were fighting and so divided with each other in a war.

so many people died on both sides. and he still kept a sense of humor. he was funny still and it was -- it's just an inspiration to read about him. >> i imagine your sense of humor kind of keeps you going as you move forward. >> that's right. >> laura bush, such a pleasure. jenna bush, thank you so much for helping us through this. the book is called "spoken from the heart." we'll be right back after this. r on tough pain than tylenol rapid release gels. and not only faster. stronger too. relief doesn't get any better than this. advil.

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in polident toothpaste is abrasive on dentures look, scratches where bacteria can collect and grow and bacteria can cause bad breath that's why i recommend replacing toothpaste with polident only polident is proven to clean without scratching and kills 99.9% of odor causing bacteria don't scratch your dentures clean use polident every day of experts tackle your financial dilemmas, like which type of account is best, how to get free cash for college. "today" financial editor jean chatzky is the author of "money 911." sharon epperson is cnbc's personal finance correspondent, and melissa lee is the host of cnbc's fast money. let's get to it. a video right now, a question from tom who lives in michigan. tom, hit it. >> i had a mortgage reset.

one of the conditions was to pay off my home equity loan. i had to take money out of my you a newt so i requested the amount be from the principle so i wouldn't have to list it as income. when i received the check, they took the interest portion out first. i called and they said they had to do it that way. consequently i'm not showing this as income. my question is, is the irs providing any relief to taxpayers who have to use their retirement save toings to save r mortgages? >> i hate having to be the bearer of bad news. st actually, no, the irs is not providing any relief. the rule is, last money in, first money out which is why they had to take the interest rather than the principle. so i'm sorry, i can't help you out. >> well short and sweet. thank you. now we got a viewer named tracy on the phone. she's from auburn, nebraska. tracy, good morning and what's your question? >> good morning.

i'm a single mother going to college full time. i have two teenage children and i'm working about eight hours a week. the remainder of my income is from ssi death benefits. with times getting tougher and the children growing faster, it seems the money just doesn't go as far as it used to. there are any grant programs out there to help single moms like me? >> first, tracy, i want to commend her on sticking with her educational goals and doing this all through such a tough time. there are grants out there for sickle women, for single parents. the great place to look is singlemomfinancialhelp.com. there are a lot of private foundations and also state assistance programs that you can look into. in your state you might find assistance programs for food and other supplies as well as health care for rental assistance. a lot of different state aid programs are available. the other thing i would say is don't spend any money out of pocket for your educational expenses. there are plenty of scholarships out there for single parents and

fastweb.com is an excellent place to look for scholarships for that. then also consider sitting down with a financial planner or with a credit counselor to look over all of your finances, where you can cut. you've probably cut out a lot already. but debtadvice.org, another great place to look. one of the things that's probably going to be so difficult is how do you put food on the table? angelfoodministries.org is a great place to get low-cost food. that's a good place to start. >> if you didn't get all of that, tracy, we'll have it on our website at todayshow.com. this e-mail is from mary. she writes, currently i have about $20,000 in credit card debt -- i got lost for a second. i can't find it. okay. i've got about $20,000 in credit card debt which i would like to consolidate. i used a debt payment program in the past but they went bankrupt, lost my money and made things worse. what debt program would you recommend that is secure and would consolidate and pay off my debt in the quickest and safest

way? melissa? >> you've seen these. you suffer around the internet and a bubble pops up, debt relief is a click away. all these sorts of promises. in general, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. that's the case with a lot of these debt consolidation programs. what can you do in terms of taking control of your debt, there are a couple things you can do yourself for free. first of all, pick up the phone and call the credit card company. ask them to reduce your interest rate. you have nothing to lose. these days these credit card companies want you to be able to pay. so it is in their interest to help you out there. the other thing you can do is take an assessment of your debt and the interest rates you are paying on your debt. if your home mortgage you think your rate is too high compared to current market rates, auto loan, refinance. take a little bit more money out, pay off your credit card debt to reduce interest rates there. those interest rates can be 25%. your mortgage rate could be 5% or 6%. you can consolidate your debt that way. but essentially take a look at your interest rates and lower them.

>> we want to get one more in here. this is a skype from lauren in new jersey. lauren, good morning. what's your question? >> hi, good morning. thank you for taking my call. ill abgraduating from medical school this june and starting residency soon after. i will be graduating with a debt of approximately $200,000 and i've done some research about a couple options of paying this debt back. some include income-based repayment and public service loan forgiveness. i was wondering, do you truly get 100% debt forgiveness and how long do you have to pay the minimum payments back in order to get this debt loan forgiveness? also, what institutions do you have to work for in order to qualify for the debt forgiveness? >> we only have a little bit of time. >> okay. in essence, what you're talking about is something called income-based repayment. you come out of school, you're going to make $55,000 a year. that actually can cap the amount that you have to pay on those loans to $500, $600 a month. it will be a big help to you and

after 15 years your debt will be wiped away. so absolutely look at that. sharon recommended going to thinaid.org. go there as well. >> thank you very much. good luck with that, lauren. jean, sharon and melissa, thank you so much. as a reminder, also, watch melissa on fast money weekdays, 5:00 p.m. eastern on cnbc. hey, you know she had to be here for a reason. still to come, singer shelly wright reveals a very personal secret that could shock the country music world. we'll talk to her about it in a few minutes. but first, these messages. ♪ she can not set up a music stand... oh, they know that she always forgets where she puts her "magic wand"... but when she finds it, she makes magic happen. ♪ [ kim ] people know a lot of things about me, but no one needs to know about my condition. and thanks to depend®, they don't. [ female announcer ] now the best protection also comes in new prints and lors.

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go to lubriderm.com for $2 savings. >> 9:26 is the time ask a lovely look at the white house where the first family is celebrating cinco de mayo. in the news for today, relief on the red line. metro is mt. process of adjusting the travels during peak travel times. you will have to wait a minute or two longer, but more car trains will number service. the changes should go into place by june or july. think twice before using the hov lanes and cracking down on violators as part of the first ever capital region ho va wearness day. police will be patrolling 66,ly

95 and the dell us tollroad. in maryland it will cover 270 and route 50. we will [ male announcer ] let's take the garden into our own hands. soak our yards in color. get our hands a little busier. our dollars a little stronger. a little greener. let's grab all the bags and all the plants and all the latest tools out there. so we can turn all these savings into more colorful shades of doing.

more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. right now get colorful 11" premium hanging baskets for just $14.98 each. >> good morning, everyone. a challenging commute on 270 southbound. we are jammed and the accident just around the bend. 270 southbound as you approach the beltway. if you are headed for the spur, you are in fair shape. they have substantial delays. on the beltway, a couple of problems on the proosh to i-66.

the good news is the lanes are reopened. it is jammed from springfield. >> thank you, jerry. coming up tonight at 5:00,

today is a great day. josie's coming home. right now i'm going down here for the last time. over 4 months old. what a dave celebration. >> the duggar family is finally bringing josie home after being premature. that makes 19 for the family. look at her! so cute. maybe we'll get a close-up look at her maybe tomorrow. meanwhile in this half-hour, natalie, you'll be speaking to country music star shelly wright. >> that's right. you probably know her music. of course she shot to number one on the country music charts in

1999 with the hit song "single white female." today something you may not know about her. for the first time she'll reveal a very personal secret that may come as a surprise to the country music world. she's going to be here to talk with me in just a little bit. also ahead, it's the avocado battle. that's right. in "today's kitchen, the battle of avocados. we're throwing avocados around. what better way to celebrate cinco de mayo with our first-ever guac-off. two chefs, two bowls of dip, one winner. that's right. before we get to all of that, we want it catch up with you. starring on the sci-fi network, our sister station. you're here on a perfect morning for our guac-off. >> quite a celebration. cinco de mayo, food. >> you're in this show which i think is perfect. you were the president of your science club. >> science fiction club. i'm not smart for science but

really good with science fiction. don't talk to me about physics but talk to me about aliens and pretending to be in outer space and i'm there. >> a lot of us know you from "e."e "e.r." what's it like being stuck on a ship in a totally different universe? >> it's harder. " "er" is like real. but being trapped in a spaceship, it's a lot of imagination and pretending that i'm battling aliens. >> you're not really there? >> no. i get to be like a 5-year-old kid and stargate universe has these amazing special effects. in this scene i'm challenged to play a quadriplegic. as an actress, this show offers me so many really challenging moments. >> but from the moment you started in this work you showed

us that you were able to deal with so many different challenges. how great to have the versatility of that. on top of that, you get to shoot it in vancouver. what a great city. >> i love vancouver. the people there are so nice. not as nice as new yorkers, but -- >> no! >> but really, really wonderful people. >> any hints about what's happening with your character coming up? >> well, i get to play camile ray. she is a pretty strong-willed powerful woman. i do a sort of mutiny thing that prevails. she's fighting for the rights of the citizens, which is very poignant these days. >> fans are crazy about the show. >> yeah. yeah. so much so, like this necklace is actually made by one of my twitter fans. >> wow! >> she sent it to me. it is a stargate. i didn't realize it. i feel like i'm so stargate out

between all the circles. >> very nice. >> but these are really die-hard fans and there's nothing like science good morning. a bright blue sky and sparkling sunshine and a live picture from the sky watcher camera and climbing into the 70s and continues to climb into the low 80s and low humidity and a bit of a breeze. tomorrow it will be rather

breezy as well. temperatures climbing into the low 80s ask a partly cloudy sky and might trigger a shower and a chance of that. a greater chance of showers and thundershowers friday night into saturday morning. >> and that's your latest weather. coming up next, country music superstar shelly wright. right after this. this is my body wash. what do you mean? this is it? why?! oh, don't do that to me! dove creamoil body wash. now with nutrium moisture. nutrium moisture. i'm a believer. the nourishment in dove creamoil goes somehow deeper. i'm happy about the change. change is good. dove creamoil body wash. some people will stick with their old way of getting vitamins and minerals. others will try incredible total raisin bran. with 100% of the daily value of 11 essential vitamins and minerals,

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singer shelly wright had her first hit on the country music charts back in 1997 with the sing the "shut up and drive." now after a successful career, shelly is opening up about the more personal side of her life with a revelation that may shock the country music world. it's all in a new autobiography "like me." it hits stores today. a documentary "wish me away" will be released this fall. we'll talk to shelly live in just a moment. but first, more of her story. ♪ your heart has a way of making me stay ♪ >> reporter: in 1995 the academy of country music named her the top new female vocalist of the year. ♪ single white female >> people recognize me more and more and is certainly is a nice pat on the back from the industry. ♪ >> reporter: by 1999, her song "single white female" topped the country music charts.

and made her a rising star. in 2003, she traveled to iraq to entertain the troops and her song "bumper on my suv" became a patriotic an them in support of our men and women overseas. ♪ add a sticker for the u.s. marines on the bumper of my suv ♪ >> reporter: she has now released seven albums, but in all of her success, she was hiding a secret and is now ready to open up to the world. >> i conditioned media and press and radio just don't ask me about my personal life. now i'm handing it over to them. ♪ >> reporter: >> i was hiding. i'm day and didn't want anyone to know that i was.i was hiding. i'm day and didn't want anyone to know that i was.

country music is described as being about man and god and country. for some reason people think you can't be gay and have this belief. that's why i have to be the one to step forward. >> shelly's book is "like me, confessions of a heartland country singer." shelly, good morning. does that feel good? >> it feels incredible. >> do you feel just a whole weight lifted off your shoulders now? >> i do. i feel as if it's my birthday. >> you can finally be who you've wanted to be since you were a little girl. >> yeah. u >> you used to say a prayer every night since third grade, please, god, please, don't let me be gay. i promise to be a good person. you've been secretly living a gay life since you were in your 20s. but living this secret life, not until now are you coming out. why?

>> well, country music has never had a country music artist in its history acknowledge his or her homosexuality. and country music was my dream from age 4. i declared back in my small town in kansas that i want to be a country music singer. and believe me, that's the only kind of music i wanted to sing. i was a fan of loretta lynn and buck owens and those traditional country music artists. i knew that i needed to hide this to achieve my goals. >> why though? what were you so afraid of? were you afraid of fans and the reaction or is it just -- >> there had never been an openly gay country music artist and country music is typically nobo known to be conservative. our fan base is conservative. pretty much our industry, the people who run it have conservative beliefs. and it's widely known to be about god and country and family and for some reason, people

don't think that that can co-exist with being a homosexual. >> yeah, i don't know why that is. >> i don't either. >> you say it is a lot like the military, don't ask, don't tell. >> yeah. yeah. >> and when you heard rumors -- because there had been rumors out there. in fact, john rich from big and rich, the group, warned you about the rumo, pulled you aside. when you heard that this was out there, did you not think then, well maybe it's time, time to let go of this and just be who i am? >> well, john rich's declaration to me that there was a rumor out there was not the first i had heard the rumor. but john's telling me that, hey, you got to hit this gay thing head-on. you're not gay, are you? that was the first time i lied about it. i had put myself in a spot to where i'd never answered -- had never been asked the question, natalie. i'd been so detached to the point of i think people thought i was snotty or cold or hard to get to know. but that's the way i had to live my life in the closet.

and john finally asked me point-blank, you're not gay. if you are, people won't have it. it's sick, it's deviant, it's unacceptable to country music fans. he said you're not, are you? and i lied. and i knew that i have gone from not talking about it to now i'm a liar. >> are you afraid now knowing what john rich told you and the reaction that you could face out there, what this announcement may do? >> i am. i'm not afraid but i'm not ashamed. and i hit my rock bottom and it's why i started my book 2 1/2 years -- 3 years ago now. why i started writing my memoir, "like me." because i hit rock bottom. i had a nine millimeter gun in my mouth. i was taking inventory of my life and i realized i had these pieces of my life that i just couldn't get to intersect. i was living a secret life and i was very much a country music

celebrity and i saw no way to get those to co-exist and i gave up hope and i was ready to take my own life. >> what turned it around for you? when you hit that moment and you realized, you opened your eyes, as you said you had that nine millimeter in your mouth, you were crying. >> i finally cried. that's what broke the dam for me. i came back in touch with my emotions and i started to cry and put the gun down for that night, as i detail in the book. went upstairs. the next morning when i awakened, i was afraid to go downstairs because i was afraid of that gun. and rather than going downstairs, i got on my knees. much like i prayed that prayer when i was a kid? i got on my knees and i spoke outloud to god and i stopped praying for what i'd always prayed for, which was help me find a way to figure out a way to still have my career and everything. i changed my prayer and my prayer was, god, give me a moment's peace. and what -- and i got up off my

knees. i said amen, got up off my knees and i got that moment's peace and i got the understanding. i didn't hear god's voice, i didn't see a guy in a robe, but i heard god say what he had's been whispering in my ear all along. i expect one thing of you and that is to tell the truth. >> well good for you. i know now you'll have your moment's peace. >> i have it. >> good. >> i have it. >> and i hope people embrace you for all that you are because it is really brave and courageous thing that you're doing. >> thank you. >> thanks so much. the book is "like me, confessions after heartland country singer." shell ry wright. we'll be right back after this. nice! follow me, the missouri river is this way! lewis and clark expedition of 1804. oh, he'll never get this. magellan, 1520. awww, my 8 layers must've given it away. help keep your kid full and focused with 8 filling layers... of whole grain fiber found in kellogg's frosted mini-wheats cereal. this is one giant leap for mini-kind.

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this morning in "today's kitchen," it is siesta time in honor of cinco de mayo. first up, host of the food network, ingrid hoffman is here. not to be outdone by healthy lifestyle expert, chef lala. ingrid, what's in your guac? >> biggest secret for great guac. love, and now, mangos. cinco de mango. very smile.

don't bite into too sweet or too tart. to balance that off, tomatillas. mix cilantro and mint. why mint? the mint helps beat the sweet and the tart, increase it. then a little bit of cilantro. i can't live without cilantro. instead of lime, lemon. because we already have a lot of acidity in there. if we were to use lime it is going to be too acidic. do me the honors, ann. wait, we're still missing a little bit of salt. >> i'm moving over here to lala. >> team mexico versus team puerto rico. >> you cube your afternoon ka goes. i like everything squares. i want a lot of things going on. we have avocado, shrimp, we have

some tomato, we're getting all these antioxidants in. some cilantro. jalape jalapeno. >> somebody got some music? bring up the music! >> some lime juice. >> what does the water do? >> just blends everything together. a little bit of salt. >> let's get a little taste there. >> little salt. you ready? >> needs a little bit more mint. >> we got our beauties there ready for you guys. >> come over here. >> then we have some cold beer here and some tequila, a must for singe cinco de mayo.

>> there's our trophy. our first guac-off -- it's a tie! ingrid, we'll be back in a moment. this is "today" on nbc!

still to come from our

>>. >> 9:56 is the time and a look at the white house on a gorgeous day. tom will have the forecast in a moment. in the news, a candlelight vigil will be held for the lacrosse player murdered in her apartment. yardly love's former boyfriend is charged with first-degree murder. his attorney calls the death an accident with a tragic out come. he kicked in her bedroom door and repeatedly slammed her head against the wall. we have good news out there. >> wonderful, wonderful spring day. should hit the low 80s and low humidity and partly cloudy. a chance of a shower tomorrow and a greater chance of a shower or thundershower friday night. it will stretch into saturday and a dry pattern and turning

cooler for the weekend. how is the traffic? >> we will start this around downtown and jammed at the parking lot along the mall. the problem is that right there. it has been there all morning. the top side of the beltway in maryland remains heavy and a little improvement as you head west to silver spring in bethesda. the accident at old georgetown road is cleared. >> coming up tonight, expenszive high tech methods could rid your home of dust mite, but is

> hello, everybody. it's winesday. and it happens to be cinco de mayo day as well. one more reason to have alcohol. >> there's actually an alcohol show comes up as well. >> the entire show. >> all right. let's catch up on a couple newsy

thing as well. the suspected bomber was caught. we said that yesterday. 30-year-old faisal shahzad. he claimed he told investigators he was working alone. he had connections. he's from pakistan. they were looking to see if he wasconnected to any of those groups. >> he left his keys to his house in the car. >> with a gun. >> and a gun. all these things arevery traceable. >> it's a lot of dumb moves. >> you think he might have just panicked and just left? >> i don't know. he was on the no-fly list. he was put on at 11:00 a.m. monday. they got him 12 hours later. what i didn't realize is they're constantly updating this no-fly list hourly and the airlines have to be on the ball hourly to make sure. >> this was a customs situation as well. because he was going to dubai. he got through customs. first of all, he bought his ticket one way for cash.

and that should have raised some flags. >> i think that they're still trying to -- but, again, thank god they did catch him. anyway, we'll see what happens there. >> congratulations again to the nypd. >> and the feds as well. >> and the feds, everybody. >> good news for bret michaels. >> isn't that great? >> i'm so glad about this. >> we talked about how this is the kind of thing that could go one way or the other depending on the person. everybody talks about his will to live. boy, god bless him. he's in an undisclosed place now. >> he's still in critical condition. but they do say he's improving. they say it's a painful process that happens now. i guess as this thing heals, the blood clot, it dissolves and it can be very painful and irritating. the good news is that the doctors seem really optimistic. >> they think he's going to make it. >> this is just a little thing. i bought one of those blue bunny personal ice cream tub things. >> why? >> because i wanted something

sweet. so i go to the supermarket. i looked at all the calories. i'm going to get this one. 170. it was great. i opened up the single personal thing. i ate the whole thing. >> right. >> because it's not that big. and then i looked at the back. i was so excited it was only 170 calories. it was two servings. 340 calories. >> i thaulgt yought you looked e bloated. >> stop it! but don't you -- i think it's deceptive. it said personal. it was small. don't sneak two servings on there. just say what it is. 340. then you know. >> how about you eat like a lady and have a little bite? i can't get the guacamole out of my teeth from the last show! sorry about that. we're so happy for our friend jimmy fallon, aren't we? he's going to be hosting the emmy's in late august, i believe. when asked of his reaction, he says, this has been a dream -- this has been a dream come true for me ever since they told me i was going to be hosting the

emmy's. we love him. we fight over him. >> we do love him. yesterday we showed you some videotape of -- or pictures, actually, still pictures, of a philly's fan who was ram bunk shs, ran on to the field and got tazed. got tazed for his antics. yesterday another philly's fan ran out on the field and all the fans started yelling tase him, tase him. they didn't tase him. they caught him. >> he didn't keep running, hoda. that was the point. >> this guy probably couldn't run as fast. this would have probably up our whole tase thing. kathie lee is in favor of people being taseed. >> i'm all for it. >> it was never more pronounced than when that granny got tased in texas. watch. he's egging -- she's 80. look at her. she drops like a bag of dirt. it was sad. that was sad.

i like granny. you wanted her to get tased. >> i just wanted her to obey the law. and she was so belligerent with the policeman. you know what they go through every day with people? and just because she was old doesn't mean she doesn't have to abide by the same rules. >> take that kind of force to take granny down? >> i'm sorry. go ahead, tase me. go ahead, tase me. what's he going to do? all right. >> tasing doesn't work on everyone. it didn't work on you on "snl." >> it sure didn't. >> that's one of my favorite episodes. >> the crazy person is really right there. >> goo goo gaga gaga, i like that. >> wow. it's having absolutely no effect on her. >> see? a real woman can take a tase. >> you can take a tase. >> that's right.

>> did you watch "dancing with the stars" last night? >> i haven't watched all season. i think i'm the only person in america. >> it was a sad day. >> i know. pamela anderson was voted off. >> someone else had fewer votes than pamela. i think she was further down. >> she looks very graceful there. >> i thought she was just fun. fun to have on the show. they said they've been trying to get her on "dancing with the stars" for 12 years. >> i think it's because she didn't point her toe just then. they take off for little things like that. >> they do take off. but there was -- >> there was a perfect score, though. the first time this season. >> evan. >> look at that. she's doing all the work. >> she's the pro, right? >> although he does choreography. >> that's unbelievable. that's unbelievable. >> perfect score. >> here's something we saw in one of the papers. you know with the oil spill

that's really very tragic in louisiana off the coast of louisiana and mississippi. they are saying that human hair, human hair, can act as an absorbent. >> our crew here went -- that's because they haven't listened to your explanation. >> what they're doing is they're taking -- they take human hair, stuff it in like a panty hose type thing. and it absorbs oils. think about the oils in your hair. >> it's going to take an awful lot of human hair. they're going to have to shave joey butafuoco. is panty hose good for the environment. >> it will be like a boom. >> then they're going to have to go and clean it up. clean all that up, too. >> you've watched what those buoys having doing. nothing. those barriers. keep getting blown around. i wonder if they have a better plan. >> because of the terrible oil spill, the town of nashville and so many other towns in tennessee

are not getting very much coverage for what is a tremendous disaster as well there. >> they're doing wall to wall coverage. i have friends who live in nashville. if you turn on any television station there, that's all they're watching is the flooding. they did say that river was receding, which was some good news, finally. >> i mean, they've closed down the grand ole opry. it's just -- we have a lot of good friends that live down there. our hearts and prayers go out to them. >> it's cinco de mayo. this is a drink that commemorating the mexican army's victory over france in the battle of puebla. >> we have tad here. we should point out that we had to sign release forms -- >> to drink it. >> to drink it. i'm not sure if it's for the singeing that's going to happen or the drink itself. >> it is the drink itself. hopefully not the singeing. >> you're going to light it on

fire? >> we have to back up. hair spray, we could go up in plames. >> all three of us. >> you're wearing it, too? >> in the drink there is seven children chillies, tequila, pineapple to cut the heat. flame them over the top. let's see. >> oh. >> and that's it. that finishes the drink. >> that's it? >> that's the whole thing? wait -- >> baked alaska. >> the waiver becomes appropriate now, you'll see. >> what happened to the flame and watch your hair. >> put the chili in the thing. >> the chili has got a little built in chaser for you. it's sweetened milk. >> you know what i need? frank gifford. a real man to drink this drink. frank's on our man panel today. again, we didn't get to show our dancing baby. >> we will. frank, tell us what you think. cheers. >> to my two beautiful hostess.

>> oh, thank you! >> honey, you don't have to drink that much. >> it's good. >> it's got, like, a kick. >> whoa! >> do you want some milk? >> oh, my god. >> it's all right. he's lived a long time. >> it's got cayenne pepper. >> oh, honey, drink the milk. >> i'll see you. >> that's my manly man. >> all right. let's go to sara. >> is frank okay? >> frank still has the drink in hand, we should point out. >> he's taking another sip. sara. >> kathie lee, you can't toy with him that way. >> i said take a sip. >> he sipped from the cayenne pepper side. >> he lives on the edge. that's why he's always exciting.

frank gifford. >> we're going back and forth on the tasering thing. right now i want to remind everyone to do their swing go. go to klgandhoda.com. >> these are cup cakes that have alcohol in the -- >> frosting. >> frank? up next, damon wayens is here. right after this. [ wind blowing ] ♪ [ female announcer ] when is it okay to lose the cover-up? ♪ when you can. take the special k challenge... and lose an inch from your waist in two weeks. so lose your cover-up, and show off your confidence. design your plan at specialk.com. design your plan

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it's hard to believe the emmy award winning comedy show "in loving color" first hit air waves on television 20 years ago. >> i miss that show. one of the shows most beloved characters was played by the no holds barred comedian damon w wayans. eight words said it all. >> i don't think so. homey, don't play that. >> still funny. these days tamen is a "new york times" best selling author who's written his very first novel. it is called "red hats." >> it's about the ladies of the red hat societies. they're great women. >> it's a wonderful, wonderful organization. it's like the largest social organization around the world. it was really amazing for me to, you know, to actually explore the life of a 64-year-old woman. >> what took you done that road? why would you want to go down

that path? >> it seems a strange -- >> it's the tyler perry in me. >> tyler perry in you. >> my mom joined the red hats. i was actually in paris kind of, like, trying to rediscover myself. i saw all these red hats around. then when i came back to the states, my mother had joined them. i thought, maybe there was something here. >> and the book's a little serious. it does have humor in it. but it seems a little different take for you, right? >> yeah. it's a little different take. but it's -- it's a character exploration. you know, the character starts off like homey the clown. then she ends up loving herself. it's about a woman who has to forgive herself in order to find love. >> i'll tell you what, she's got forgiveness for. right here. a little excerpt i'd like to read. it's good for you. james gently pulled her toward his waiting lips. their tongues danced slowly, both kept their eyes open gazing at the lust reflected in the mirrors to their souls. whoa.

i mean, i smell a pulitzer or something. i've been to the red ladies -- the red hat society ladies' meetings. nothing like that ever goes on with those ladies that i know of. >> it's life after 50 is what it's really saying. you know, i think the elderly are the forgotten majority. >> they are, yeah. >> they are afraid of the youth and, you know, what do you do? my mother raised ten children. then we all left home. what does she do with her time? >> is your mother still living? >> oh, yeah, she's alive. >> what does she think of the book? >> i didn't let her read it yet. i didn't want her to go you shouldn't put that out. then i'd have to say stop the presses. >> she'll read it now. >> now it's too late. train left the station. >> i'm among the many who wrote a musical called "hats" about the red hat ladies. i'll send it to your mom. >> she'll love it. >> "in living color," watching that, do you think there's a place for a show like that now.

>> i think the environment is prime for some good sketch comedy. i don't know if we're the people -- the people to do it. >> i'd watch it all day. i'm sorry. >> you all went off to have big movie careers. you all went off to bigger pastures, right? the big screen. >> yeah. jim carey. jamie foxx that won an oscar. j.lo is starring in five movies right now. it's hard to get those people to put their movie careers on hold to do a little sketch show. >> there's a whole new group of talented kids out there. get it back with a new cast. >> there's still more wayanses being made. >> thank you. great luck with your book. it's called "red hats." up next, father knows best, or does he? find out when our dad panel including frank gifford -- he's all right. did he have a cup cake? frank's going to eat a cup cake. then we're going to answer your questions right after this. [ female announcer ] the things we do to our hair can damage it.

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who hasn't had their jimmy dean breakfast this morning? mmmm! now lets orbit i feel awesome. you're all awesome. jimmy dean breakfast sandwiches, fight the morning fade. once again, our guy panel is gathered. today we've done something a little different and brought together four favorite dads for the inside scoop on fatherhood. >> we're starting with a guy i know pretty well. he's an nfl hall of famer, father extraordinary and most perfect father in the world. mr. frank gifford. >> next up actor and comedian rick younger who can be heard on his album "come on now." married with a toddler.

>> chuck nice who will be headlines gotham june 3rd. married 12 years with a 10-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son. >> andrew trees is the author of "club rules." he's married with a 21-month-old son. >> a lesser man would be dead. every one of these guys if they'd done what you did. down. taseed. >> nobody told me to sip it. >> i said take a sip, twsweetie >> i'm better now. ten people working on me. >> here we are. here's the sip. >> just so we can relive it. >> you seem good. >> that's a gulp. wow. >> it's got like a kick. >> whoa! >> it was like a grenade. >> that's all right. he's lived a long time. >> the aftershock. it's actually pretty good. >> we're going to go across the street to miss sar rare hanes over at the nbc.com cafe. >> judy from texas has a question about dads in old

clothing. >> yes. i want to know why dads always keep their old clothes around thinking they're going to get into them again. >> let's start with frank. shall we on that? do you keep your old clothes, frank, around the house? >> no. because i'm about 15 pounds lighter than when i played. >> really? >> mm-hmm. i weigh 180. i played at 195. >> you work out every day, don't you? >> pretty much every day. >> yeah. he's in great shape. such a hysterical guy. >> you got to have some play clothes, you know. that's the old clothes become the play clothes. not to mention every 20 years the fashion comes back around. >> you just hold on to it? >> i think she's talking about the size because you all gain weight after you get married. >> i lost 30 pounds on weight watchers last year. >> that's true. >> to this woman all i can say is this speaks for itself, lady. that's all i got to say. okay? >> andrew, you're in great shape. >> my problem is, my wife's

always had the argument about things going out of style. i'm always like this wide stripe rugby shirt, it's coming back. two more years, it's coming back. >> you do tend to hold on to what you love. >> i don't think men think like women do about clothes at all. >> as long as you have on a crisp white shirt and jeans, you're good. this is an e-mail. from one of our viewersal named sarah. my dad has a room in our house he calls his quote man room. it has a stuffed fish on the wall, a pool table and an entertainment area. why do dads need a separate room? >> why do they need a stuffed fish? >> aside from her dad's excellent taste in decorating, the fact is, you're lucky we don't have a separate apartment let alone a man room. we need a place for ourself. >> being a father is hard work. it's like whether you know it or not, we take on the responsibility. we feel like we're the

protecters. even if we're not protecting anything, we feel like it. that's a lot of mental pressure if nothing else. >> frank, where do you go to get away. >> i can't. >> argentina. >> she took away my passport. >> i don't know why we're talking about a man cave. my wife's always like i need more space. you need to get out of here. i need time by myself. you know, women have their -- >> if you got a man cave you got to not live in new york city. >> there's no room. we're going to come back. we're going to take a commercial, come back, and we have more questions. more cinco de mayo coming up at your local news, everybody. wow, you look great! thanks! it's this new wish yourself thin program. i just wish it and it happens. it's probably those fiber one bars you're eating. i know they help me stick to my diet. the bars are 90 calories and the fiber helps you feel full. 90 calories and high fiber. so that's why this diet thing is working. but it's weird because my wish for lorenzo came true.

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go to lubriderm.com for $2 savings. closed for business, a maryland funeral home is being shut down. what was found in a nearby garage. good morning. i'm barbara harrison. it was a huge jackpot. we will tell you who is getting a piece of a lottery prize. news 4 midday begins at 11:00 a.m. hope you are planning to join us. see you then.

. we're back on this cinco de mayo with more of our dad's tell all panel. >> we're going to pick up where we left off. we have a question on tape. let's take a listen. >> hi. i'm claudia from east hartford, connecticut. i want to know, why do dads always insist on procrastinating with buying gifts, especially with mother's day coming up soon. i know i'm probably going to have to go out there and buy a gift for my dad to give to my because you get the size that fits, somebody's going to be mad at you. so i always buy -- >> she's right behind me, isn't she? >> i know you're a 4. so i get a 2. >> good comeback. >> two 2s. >> isn't he charming. >> i know you're a 4 so i get a 2. all right. let's go to the nbc.com cafe. >> i feel like there's a complete conflict of interest on this panel. but i'm with rachel and leah from texas. they have a question about dads and spending money. >> why do dads get mad at moms for spending money, but then they go and buy what they want?

>> oh! >> that was so wrong! on every level! you set us up with a child, sara! it was wrong! >> that is a great -- >> it happens to be true. he's all the time on me about spending. i don't spend much money. >> much. >> but you know what it is. >> not compared to his first two wives. the first one with my own credit card. >> we always get to that. >> okay. new rule. frank gifford on the man panel, always. what was the question again? >> why do you guys get mad at us when we buy shoes, but you guys buy ipads and that's fine. >> it's a gateway. you all start spending money and it keeps going and going. next thing you know it's like, where'd the money go?

>> my wife has had me on a strict allowance since we've been married. i've never had more than $20 in my pocket. i don't know what she's talking about. >> we know what we're going to go and get. i go to buy something, i scope it out, go in and buy it and get something and i'm out. women take all day long. y'all want us to walk around with you at the mall. >> ever since her inheritance i haven't had to worry about it. >> we've got a question on tape. let's take a listen. >> my name is lou. i'm from washington, d.c. the weather is becoming nicer and there's more barbecuing going on. why is it that dads always have to control the grill and why can't girls do it? >> frank's a great griller, by the way. >> i think -- that's a good question, though. because there's something -- we connect up with fire. >> cave man days. >> it goes back to the -- >> we used to go out and kill the animal. >> the meet was status and

wealth and even more wives. men want control of the meat. meat is power. >> we used to go out and kill the meat. now we can't do that. you could at least let us have the grill. >> next question. >> next question. >> frank's right on this show. >> hi, i'm here with alyssa from ohio. she is a question about dads and the television. >> every time me and my dad are watching television together he changes the channel as soon as commercial comes on. i want to know why he can't have the patience to wait until the end of a television program. >> a.d.d. >> we are able to multitask. honestly, we are able -- we do not need -- we can follow storylines at the same time. and, you know, when we heard this question i asked all the guys, i said, did a woman invent picture in picture? i don't think so! you can actually watch two shows at the same time. >> we don't want to miss nothing. >> what about patience? >> we don't have that. we don't want to miss anything. we do the same thing if we're in the car.

there's radio stations. we're flicking through. >> never has one incident caused so many divorces than that clicker. >> do you sit through the commercial and click away. >> we don't necessarily -- >> we mute. >> every time i'm watching something, there we are. >> as far as i'm concerned, the commercials are the time where i get to be a good father. >> here's a real quick one. this is good. every time my dad meets a guy i'm dating, he always trying to intimidate them. sometimes even scaring them away. one time as a joke he even greeted my boyfriend while cleaning a rifle. why do dads feel like they have to scare their daughters' dates? are you protective if cassidy goes out with anyone? >> i'd like to meet who cassidy is going to go out with. i don't think i'm intimidating. they're usually bigger than i am. >> frank takes everybody into

the trophy room. what to see my bust? >> i'd like to agree with the new rule you pointed out. frank gifford on the panel. >> let's give it up! honey, stick around and have cinco de mayo with us in a little bit. >> i'd love to. >> there's some stuff we want you to eat and drink. we'll be back with advice for siblings to help get past that rivalry after this. one size fits all makeup? no way. try clean makeup -- lightweight coverage made for your skin type. for normal skin, oil control, and new clean for sensitive skin. it's makeup that works for you 'cause it's made for you.

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at your sister's behavior or you haven't talked to your brother in years, you have come to the right place. >> the relationship between growing siblings is among the most complex and least under. why is why jane isay wrote "why mom likes you best." and a clinical psychologist with us very often. we're happy to see all of you. if it weren't for mothers there would be no brothers and sisters. in honor of mother's day we're going to talk about -- you love your brother and sister like i do. >> when you're closer in age and you're the same sex, i think that the rivalry may be stronger. i'm three years away from my sister so we were kind of going through different things. is that gap really critical. >> i think the gap makes a big difference. when you're older you have your own world when the intruder appears. but it's often the case that sisters form the closest relationships in the world or the most difficult.

>> oh. why is that? >> well, because the competition for space in the home. parents say, oh, i have enough love for all of you. well, they don't have enough time. and they don't have enough attention. and sometimes they don't have enough goods. >> sometimes it takes time for the relationship to actually evolve. some people aren't close when they're younger but they get closer when they're older. >> or opposite. why is that? >> as they grow older, it's almost like killing two birds with one stone. not only are they getting closer but they're learning how to regulate moods and regulate relationships. these are the closest relationships other than perhaps marriage, right? >> but they're longer than marriage. >> they're longer than marriage. they're forever. you learn your social skills there. how you learn to deal with the sibling will teach you how to deal with other people in the your life. >> we talk about reframing your childhood. what do you mean by that? >> what i mean is that when we're all children -- by the way, i agree with you completely. it's where we learn our social skills. when we're in the nursery and there's nobody around, children

behave like children. we fight. we bite. >> yell and scream. >> yell and scream. and sometimes people remember those stories as the framing stories. i call them just so stories. as we go -- as i interviewed 90 people across the country, those just so stories were really about explaining how they feel today. so if your just so story is as is in my book, my sister chased me around the kitchen with a knife. >> yeah. incredible stories in this book. >> if you want to be close to her, you need to figure out what was going on in her life. in her mind when this happened. because children have no idea what's going on outside their experience. >> sometimes i think when we get back together as families, whether it's at thanksgiving or whatever, it's so fun anyhow you go right back into those old roles even though it's been such a long time. >> you're about to spend the weekend with your family. >> we spend a lot of time. we don't have it so much because

we see each other so frequently. isn't it weird how you go back to the -- become the child again. >> be it ever so terrible, there's no place like home. we almost become comfortable in some of those dysfunctional roles because it's what we know and it almost frames our lives. when you talk about reframing this, we don't have to be one note sambas. we don't have to be about it was about my sister who came after me with a knife but what happened at the time and what were the wonderful things that happened. >> you're the forgetful sister. no, no, i don't do that anymore. that was when i was in third grade. >> this is an extremely important point. because kids get typed. you're the pretty one, smart one, forgetful one, bad one. we grow up and we are no longer any of those things. in order for adults to be close again, they have to shed those old roles. >> right. >> and they have to help each other. well, if you were the smart one you might with your sister

notice that she's extremely bright. >> and compliment her. many ma in many ways model the behaviors you would like to see them express. you up your game, too, because you take it to the next level and reframe ing ifyou will the relationship that you had in the past and making it bet r for the future. at the end of the day you only have your siblings as your real support, right? >> they're the people you've known longest in your whole life. and that relationship takes work. >> thank you very much. >> thank you. what's up next, ms. hoda woman? >> nothing says cinco de mayo like frank gifford and mark ritas. salsa, right after this. hey, dad -- what're we getting mom for mother's day?

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time for "today's kitchen." we're getting saucy on cinco de mayo with jose gasas who won the most recent season.

>> in honor of the holiday he's brought some of his favorite recipes from the menu of one of his restaurants as well as a few family recipes as well. jose, let's start the party. >> let's do it. >> frank's joining us, too. we need a little frank in the segment. >> we can never have enough frank. >> in order to get any cinco de mayo party you've got to have a margarita. this one's not spicy. i promise. one of my favorite -- >> sans the pepper, please. >> my favorite margarita is just a fresh fruit margarita. this has fresh pineapplepuree which makes it nice and fresh. tequi tequila, orangely kwor, a little lime zest. >> you guys do this every day? >> every single day. >> what a life. >> happy cinco de mayo. >> i think jose is graciously giving you his. >> talk about the salsa you've

got there. >> that's good. >> another thing i like to do to really get the festivities started is a nice kresh salsa. we have a cactus and crab salsa. it's really so delicious. nice and fresh. nopalas are like summer green beans. i'd encourage you all to come on over and try it. come on in here, yeah. >> thank you, sweetheart. >> all right. jose, what are you making over here while we're snacking on this? >> why you're snacking on that, gosh, one of my favorite ways -- delicious, right? nice and fresh. >> that is so good. >> one of my favorite things to make at home is tacos or a taco bar. we're going to get the taco bar taco party started right now. >> mmm. mmm. >> i have some -- good? >> wonderful. >> i have some marinated skirt steak. i'm going to throw it on the

chills. marinated adobo. >> what kind of -- >> that's skirt steak. the marinade is working right now. it's getting nice and grilled. we have some beef that's over here that's already seared off. the next process after this would be grilled. >> this is delicious. >> if you're a vegetarian, i like to give our vegetarians a nice option. we have carmelized onions. p p pablano peppers. >> you lost me there. >> they're actually very mild. >> what is the green stuff? >> pablano chilies but they're a mild chilly. cilantro. >> what are we doing with that all? >> all of this is going to our famous taco bar right over here. >> let's make some tacos! >> let's do it. come on around. >> all right. so we don't have -- where are

the little tacos? >> i think they're in here. >> right here. come on over. grab a plate. >> little soft tacos. honey, you want one? >> i'd rather have the drink. >> welcome to my world. >> what you do is you just kind of -- the beauty of it is, you make your own. >> you make your own, hoda. >> you have the skirt steak, fresh salsa, refried beans here. >> i'm going to use my fingers. >> help yourself. come on in. >> honey, come on over here. >> refried beans. >> that skirt steak is delicious. that's the good stuff. is this shrimp fresh? >> it is. there's a taco right here. >> squeeze a little lime on that? >> squeeze a little lime. you can make it as light or as heavy as you'd like.

you have a lot of flavors to work with. >> you want to try this onion stuff, honey? jose, thank you very, very much. this looks delicious. we want to wish everybody a very, very happy -- >> especially jose. >> especially jose for all this stuff. we'll be

okay. he loves to party. >> he's not leaving. which we like. we like when frank hangs around. >> can we do this every day? >> every single day. that's why i come home the way i come home. >> what's going on, sara? >> frank stole the show. always like frank gifford in his sports casting days. he's still a cool cat. angela agreed he should always be on the man panel. stephanie said poor frank. it's cute to see just how far he'll go for kathie lee. >> that is true. that is true. >> so sweet. all right. tomorrow, you guys, we have "the

soup's" joel mchale. plus we're going to honor a wonderful woman in our "everyone has a story." go to our website and send in your videos of your little babies singing -- dancing to swing thing.