[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> hello, and welcome to quite a monumental day here on "the view." after 16 seasons -- >> a monument is leaving. >> don't write your script. >> one of the great monuments of our lives is -- is saying good-bye. >> bye. i don't know anything about this show. >> you don't. and we want to keep it that way. >> you told me not to -- ask

questions. don't tell me who is on the show. none of that. all i know is that picture of me, the first day, when we first started, that is before the keratin treatment. i would like to point that out. >> we've been here -- >> 16 big ones, barbara. >> and there you are. [ cheers and applause ] >> i -- i know -- joy, and i tell people this, joy whispers dirty things on my ear when the cameras are not on us. you were the one who told me, i didn't know how to speak up, you said, don't worry about what people say, as soon as you open your mouth, you lose half your audience every day. she gave me rules. >> we have a clip. from that very first day which i remember so well. >> the hair? >> we'll show it to you. i want you to meet my counterpart. we're extremely similar. [ laughter ]

my pal, joy behar. joy, tell even about you. >> my name is joy behar. my real name is josephineoccuitto. i'm divorced. hard to believe. >> you'll learn much more about her in the years to come. >> oh, my gosh! >> your beautiful daughter is here, and will not let us introduce her. >> my beautiful dahter is in the green room. my beautiful husband. they are camera shy. >> neither one of them would let us show them. but they're here. >> how much better i look now. >> you look great. >> i look younger now. here's the thing. you need eye shadow over here.

thicker eyebrows and a better hair do. that's it. >> the main thing. >> lots of light. >> i thought i looked better, too. whatever you're doing, i'm doing. >> we get made over every day here. it's an extreme makeover show is this one. >> yes. >> we have a lot coming back for you. we want this to be special for you. >> we love you. when we come back, joy behar this is going to be your life here on "the view." >> it's a lot of attention on me today. i have to say, i'm a little uncomfortable with that. >> we know. we don't care. >> we of you. we want to pay tribute. >> we'll be right back. ♪ go ahead and call me, call me, call me. ♪ ♪ you don't have to worry 'bout it baby. ♪ ♪ you can wake me up in the dead of the night. ♪ ♪ wreck my plans, baby that's alright. ♪ ♪ this is a drop everything kinda thing. ♪

♪ swing on by i'll pour you a drink. ♪ ♪ the door's unlocked i'll leave on the lights. ♪ there's only one place to get more luke bryan same grin, same walk. and the same beautiful hair. [ female announcer ] nice 'n easy. in one step get expert highlights and lowlights. for color they may just think you were born with. [ rob ] i'm a lucky guy. [ female announcer ] with nice 'n easy, get the most natural shade of you.

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[ susan ] i hate that the reason we're always stopping is because i have to go to the bathroom. and when we're sitting in traffic, i worry i'll have an accident. be right back. so today, i'm finally going to talk to my doctor about overactive bladder symptoms. [ female announcer ] know that gotta go feeling? ask your doctor about prescription toviaz. one toviaz pill a day significantly reduces sudden urges and accidents for 24 hours. if you have certain stomach problems or glaucoma, or cannot empty your bladder, you should not take toviaz. get emergency medical help right away if your face, lips, throat or tongue swells. toviaz can cause blurred vision, dizziness, drowsiness, and decreased sweating. do not drive, operate machinery or do unsafe tasks until you know how toviaz affects you. the most common side effects are dry mouth and constipation. [ susan ] today, i'm visiting my son without visiting every single bathroom. [ female announcer ] today, talk to your doctor about toviaz.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> oh! >> too many times. we're prepared for you, baby. that's it. >> you're wearing nice, nice colors and stuff. but in the slacks, you know. >> do you think i'm going the take fashion advice from a drag queen? i don't want to sit here. >> you're outraged about my -- >> oh, baby. >> you start rhyming.

[ cheers and applause ] >> excuse me, barbara? >> excuse me. >> well, i -- [ cheers and applause ] we're back with our special farewell episode, "this was your life on 'the view,' joy behar," where we look back at the greatest moments in joy's 16 wonderful years. i'm mario cantone, and i'll be your master of ceremonies. and i just want to say what an honor it is to be hosting a spoof of a show that nobody remembers. [ cheers and applause ] joy, my sweet, irrepressible joy, where do i begin? seems like only yesterday you were giving birth to me in the back of a vw bus in las vegas. i love you. i'm happy i'm here. i think you're going out on a

high because next year, you would walk through that door like this. >> i do now. what, are you kidding? >> okay, joy, listen carefully. do you recognize this voice? >> joy behar, you owe everything to me. i made you, and i can break you. >> oh, i know who that is. anthony weiner. >> no, i'm sorry. >> who is it? >> he's busy at home with his penis and his cell phone. it's regis philbin ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> so funny. oh, my goodness. thank you. thank you. well, regis. >> anthony weiner she called me!

>> you claim you gave joy her big break in show business. how did you do that? >> that's barbara. >> you don't know this story. >> no. >> i'm glad you're asking me. >> and i'm concerned. >> joy behar and i did several shows together, you know, she was just terrific. i knew she was very, very, very funny. and so, one night, joy and i go to the starlight play house. what was it called? >> starlight room. >> at the waldorf astoria. >> that was in 1938, i believe. glen miller was playing. >> the lindbergh baby was missing. >> so any way, what the hell's going on here? so -- before that, barbara walters had been a guest host on my show. he replaced kathie l lee for a day, two, three. it was an honor.

i was thrilled to have the great barbara walters next to me doing this show. and i think she was impressed with the show. we never had any meetings before the show. nothing like that. at the end of her time on the show, she said, i loved it. it was great. so simple, too, the way you came out and we did it. i said, that's right. go by. another year. we're at the starlight. we're sitting there together, barbara walters and i. >> so it's milton berle's 89th birthday party. >> that's right. he's backstage. out comes here she is right here. >> you hit my boob. again, on purpose. >> no touching! >> it's better than it used to be. but any way. in it's a little lower. >> i knew she was going to be great. she's knocking them dead. i'm thinking uncle milty is

backstage, going crazy, why is this girl so funny? barbara says, do you know this girl? i said, yeah, i do. what's her name? i said, joy behar. >> and that was the beginning. >> ah -- >> i just want to say, the story he's telling you is absolutely truth. i'm not responsible for you being on the show, it turns out regis is. >> there you go. >> this is unbelievable. what a story. >> okay. it's a cliff hanger. >> barbara walters slips her hand into her purse and gives up one of these. i want to see what she's going to do. she takes out a note pad. what's the name again? joy behar. >> i didn't know this part. >> writes it down. >> at the was it. that was the beginning. time to skip ahead to anoth another chapter in this long, long old book.

"this was your life on 'the view,' joy behar." do you know who this is? voice, please. >> joy, i've had a few paramours in my time. but you're still the most sensitive lover in daytime television. >> please, who is it? >> is that the woman who fired me from "good morning america"? >> no, we would never do that to you again. please welcome your former co-host and sister in sappho, meaning your sister lesbian, meredith viera. [ cheers and applause ] >> you didn't have to say anything. meredith. >> look at this. i'm so happy to be here. meredith, welcome. >> thank you, darling. >> you and joy have shared many, many special moments. >> these are the key parts, too.

she's such a slut -- >> i know what she is. i know what you are. let's take a look at the memories you have shared together. >> kissed you. >> oh, come on. star, you can watch. >> not again. >> star. >> very sexy. but it didn't do much for me. [ applause ] meredith, what did that kiss mean to you? besides making you the leading lesbian journalist in america? >> i had never gone that way at all. i was very straight. there was something about joy. i was drawn to her. when we finally pushed star aside in a rather violent move and locked lips, i don't know if -- there was that faint smell of peppermint and gin on her breath? i don't know. i took it extremely seriously. i felt it meant something. joy suggested it meant something to me. she brushed me gently. my point is, not long after

that, i started to see a pattern with her. a very thick pattern. >> that's a -- >> i have always -- >> mm. [ cheers and applause ] >> mwah. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> whoo! >> can i say one thing. >> she pulled joan rivers' ears off. >> this is something you'll never have again. [ cheers and applause ] that's it. i'm done. i'm done. >> today, barbara was upset that i never kissed her. so i'm going to do it now. come on, barbara. [ cheers and applause ] >> she was so jealous. >> that was awesome. oh! oh zbhchlt!

[ laughter ] >> oh, yes! oh, my fwosh. this is amazing. oh! [ cheers and applause ] this is like hot lesbian sex in the sunshine home. more surprises for joy when we come back. who knows, we might even bring maury povich out to make someone take a paternity test. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] they say it was during an arm wrestling match that mr. clean realized the way to handle bigger, tougher messes was better leverage. that's why he created his new magic eraser handy grip. it has a handle that firmly attaches to the eraser so you get better leverage and more oomph with less effort. it's the perfect magic eraser for making stuff that's big and tough not so tough, after all.

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are you scared? >> "meet the press" is easy. you guys are tough. >> do it. say i'm not a crook. do it. >> i'm not going to say that. >> come on, do it. what is the controversial sex book that is on millions of women's bedside tables? he doesn't know. >> i don't know that. >> good, okay, next. >> but i'll ask michelle when i get home. >> oh. we're back. we're back with our special farewell episode, "this was your life on the view, joy beehive." listen. >> we're here because you and i have so much in common. we're both comics, both from brook lynne. we both have gay fans. in fact, joy, we have more gay men behind us than ricky martin does during fleet week.

>> please welcome the legendary joan rivers, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, thank you. you're the best. >> there. >> nobody kissed me. you did. you gave me a little tongue, too. >> do you know how many -- i've been here 35 times. she's insulted me 35 times i've been on this show. >> you've been friends for years, right? >> we love each other. joan is the funniest woman ever. >> you and i have been together since the kardashians were dating -- >> white guys. [ laughter ] i'm sorry, darling. >> it's okay. it's your day. >> i was going to say gary colem coleman.

it's okay. let me tell you about joy. she's so relaxed. she's one of the few people, we worked together in westbury and stuff. i'm nervous, changing typers, i'm crazy. she is sitting there eating like she's adele. she doesn't care. she's just -- >> adele. [ laughter ] >> she has no nerves, no fear. >> no nerves, no fear. >> i was throwing up earlier. you didn't see me. you thought i was bullimic, i was nervous. >> what were the early years like? >> as comedians? >> you played crappy clubs. mafia places. you pass the hat. the hat came back with a face in it. it was like -- but you went right into radio. >> i did. people said i had a face for it. [ laughter ] >> i loved radio. i did. except i liked to dress up. joy would not. she was on radio.

>> that's why she loved radio. >> then i realize, it's like dressing up to go out with stevie wonder. >> you're right. you have a point. >> exactly. >> i know you love her very much. but is there something you hate about her? besides the fact that she has all her original parts? [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] i didn't say it. i didn't say it. it was cary grant. he was inside me. he said it. >> what i love about her is hat she's very family-oriented. she loves her grandson so much. nova. >> nova? >> what's his name? >> luca. >> hello, nova. well, you're both grandmothers. >> we are. that's the love. she said to me one time, i met little nova -- luka, whatever.

i was his -- she said to me, i never realized something that just went up to my niece would give me such joy, and i said, how many men have said that about paris hilton. [ laughter ] you're a good person. >> thank you, joan rivers, everybody. more surprises for joy up next. do not change the channel. i have a friend at the nsa and i know where every one of you lives. >> congratulate you on all your years here on "the view." too many, actually. you were burned out. let's face it. you did too many talk shows. >> joy, you are the funniest girl around. i love you. everybody loves you. you're just a joy. >> what? joy's leaving? when? no, you're kidding. no! [ cheers and applause ] to prove febreze eliminates tough odors, we threw a party.

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[ dad ] jan? [ female announcer ] another newtonism. into every life, a little fudge must drizzle. new banana drizzled with dark fudge fruit thins. real fruit, real fudge, whole grains. newtons fruit thins. one unique cookie. >> this is jess from mj mj. more surprises for joy up next.

"the democratic party of virginia sponsored this adad." ken cuccinelli is on a mission. he wants to overturn roe v. wade, in virginia, to make all abortions illegal. cuccinelli even tried to bully the state board of health to get his way.

the rginian-pilot said "the consequences of such a politically motivated precedent could be significant." cuccinelli's war on abortion, even in cases of rape or incest. ken cuccinelli. he's focused on his own agenda. not us. [ cheers and applause ] what monitor? >> send this to the taliban, okay? >> no, i'm not. >> no, you know what? >> wait a second. >> stop it. stop it. oh, my god! somebody comes up behind you and

attacks you, you kick 'em in the balls! >> just like that. just like, ah. >> purse your lips. >> oh, god. >> that's what your anus looks like. [ laughter ] we're back with our special farewell episode, "this was your life on 'the view,' joy behar," where we look back at joy's 16 years on the couch. and i've spent more than 16 years on the couch but that's another story. joy, could you listen to this next voice carefully? >> yeah, yeah, you know my voice already. open the friggin' door. >> please welcome your longtime pal and one of the stars of "curb your enthusiasm," susie essman. [ cheers and applause ] >> pipe down. >> julie's here. rose.

>> we go back a long -- a long time. this is a long time. >> susie and i know each other a long time. >> longer than us. this is 30 years. >> and by the way, all these fake lesbian lovers, i am the origin fall. you know that i am because we don't kiss. we're like an old married couple, we don't kiss. >> i got it. >> we just dive into it. >> go ahead. >> why has it been so long? not what's the secret but, why has it been so long? >> the secret to a good marriage is you like to watch the same things on tv, which we do. and we have the same hobby, flea marketing, tag saling. my entire house is furnished of her throwaways from a tag sale that she bought for a dollar. >> it's true. >> we're obsessed with that. >> she comes to the hamptons. nothing wakes me up at 6:00 in the morning like a garage sale.

6:00, steve will be driving, the car would not be -- we would be running out to buy stuff. >> the other day i was at a dinner party for somebody. and as i'm leaving the dinner party, i see this lovely little piece of folk art. i said, isn't that charming. she said, my father gave it to me. i'm thinking when i sell the house, i'll sell it. i said, i'll give you $100 right now. i bought it. she sold it to me on the spot. >> in her home? you go into peoples a houses and go, i'll take that, that, that. is this you started standup year ago together. >> we needed each other. >> together we were more powerful than separate. all the male comics were scared of us, particularly her. >> i was never scared of her. >> you're gay. that doesn't count. the gay comics like us.

>> chris rock. one of the great comics of our time. we all started together. chris was on "catch a rising star." he was so scared to do certain material when she was this the room. >> he h would do stuff like date rape material, and i would be like, you're bigger than that. you don't need to do that. he would say, i'm not doing anything until behar gets out of the room. >> i love that joan says you were never nervous. the two of us were always nervous. the vomiting, the diarrhea. >> only the mediocre at its best. >> we're going to move on from your lesbian love affair to another voice. >> do you remember this voice? >> joy. [ speaking italian ] >> benito mussolin rks?

>> no, joy, it's your old friend, the fantastic and brilliant alan alda. >> i can't believe it! >> darling. >> so nice to have you here. >> you didn't get it. [ cheers and applause ] >> how great is this, alan alda. how did you guys meet? >> we met while we were shooting a woody allen movie in 1993, "manhattan murder mystery." >> something like that. >> and, you know, joy was really funny. she's very interested in psychotherapy and psychdrama. she would talk to me like she was my therapist. i would say, let's go out to lunch to say good-bye. >> you toasted joy and steve at

the wedding. >> it was a sentimental evening. i said i just hope their marriage lasts as long as the engagement. >> which was a long time, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> they were engaged 29 years. >> i'm a little nervous about getting into things. >> getting into things? >> you went back and forth for a little while. not the relationship. but the decision to get married. >> don't you think after 29 years you're already in a thing? >> steve is in the back and he still refuses to come out. where the he will rksll is he? we have more surprises. don't go away. joy behar. attention joy behar. you are a loser and a quitter. quitters are losers. nah, just kidding. i can't wait to see what you're

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[ cheers and applause ] oh, mehmet. time for your sponge bath. sherri shepherd, the dynamic duo. i loved you when you first started out in "baywatch." >> i think you've got your boobs mixed up. >> meet the baby barbara talking doll. and she can -- whoopi, i spent a lot of time sitting next to you on the couch. this captures you. moderator, stimulater,

flatulator. >> so what? so what? so what? who cares? >> you thing i came up here the kiss you, don't you? >> i thought you were going to make out with me. >> backstage is where we're going to make out. we have loved sharing our personal memories. one final surprise. you ready? >> yeah. >> please welcome, performing a of the greatest singers, the legendary tony bennett. >> what? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> how wonderful. >> tony bennett. [ cheers and applause ] >> how's that for a surprise. >> where's the microphone?

>> do i sit? i sit. ♪ oh the good life full of fun seems to be the ideal ♪ ♪ yes, the good life it makes you hide all the sadness you feel ♪ ♪ you won't really fall in love or you can't take the chance ♪ ♪ just be honest with yourself don't think romance ♪ ♪ yes, the good life to be free and explore the unknown ♪

♪ just like the heart ache when you've learned you must face life alone ♪ ♪ so just remember that i still want you and in case you wonder why ♪ ♪ well just wake up kiss the good life good-bye ♪ >> good-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you. ♪ all right. >> come on.

come on, alan. let's dance. >> follow me, follow me. ♪ so just remember that i still want you and in case you wonder why ♪ ♪ well just wake up and kiss the good life good-bye ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> well, that was amazing. thank you so much. that was beautiful. you still got it, boy. you still got it. >> how is that for a surprise? so -- thank you for doing this. you have just celebrated -- it's hard to believe -- your 87th birthday. >> he's still got it, my god. >> aside from the wonderful

voice, you do so much for charity. you have a very special charity that has to do with the arts. >> exploring the arts. my wife and i -- >> i went to a big event for that honoring you. >> thank you. my wife and i started the organization, exploring the arts for performing arts in all the public schools in america. >> that's great. [ cheers and applause ] >> we have three schools in los angeles. >> he sings, does that, paints, he's wonderful. we love you for coming on. >> thank you so much, tony. it was just beautiful. >> i just want to tell you -- [ cheers and applause ] we want to thank tony bennett. his entire catalog will be available online for the first time. and you did "bennett and

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you know we can still see you. no, you can't. pretty sure we can... try snapshot today -- no pressure. [ cheers and applause ] okay, so i have taken mario's place. but nobody can take your place, darling. >> thank you, mario. >> so -- i am representing all of us now and what you said, regis, is true. because i did discover joy behar. and joy and i have been together on this show from day one. as you said, i went to an event. it was 1997.

joy was on stage doing here act. she told a joke i thought was so funny about salman rushdie, remember the joke? >> the premise of in the material is that women cannot find a guy. it's very hard. especially after the age of 40. it's like getting kidnapped by terrorists they say. but man can always find a woman, no matter how old he is. to illustrate it, sal man rumane was in hiding and managed the to get married three times. >> i heard that. i came in the next day, i said to bill geddie, joy something with a "b," she as to be on the panel. and for years, she has been proving how right i was, yes? >> thank you, barbara. [ cheers and applause ] at one point early on, one of

the network executives when joy was on with us asked her to stop being so negative. joy said, don't tell me that. that's my whole act! >> like joan, not funny. positive is not funny. >> nothing mushy, right? >> i hate mushy. >> nevertheless, any time things got too sentimental, you could count on joy to punch a hole in the conversation and bring us back to reality. i don't know what you plan to do with your time. but whatever it is, it will be smart and provocative. this is what i want to say. i love you, joy. i have loved every moment we did together. >> i love you. thank you. >> i thank you, i thank you, i thank you. we're really going to miss you. i think you can have the last

word. >> okay, i want to say. i have prepared remarks, but whatever. i don't know where to start. i should say thank you to so many h people. it's been 16 years. first of all, i have to thank the most important people, my hair and makeup people. [ cheers and applause ] and my wardrobe. rebecca and rosa, fran, and ashley. they put me together. day after day, 3500 shows to make me beautiful. well, more beautiful. okay, thanks to the publicists. thanks for the spin control, the damage control, and for always having our backs. i want to thank them. the producers and all of the members of the crew. they know who they are. there's so many of them. the unsung people. the producers, they work this the basement here. it's like a dostoyevsky novel. the crew, such great, wonderful, friendly people. i can't thank them all individually.

but i'll be sexting every one of you in the fall. i want to thank the writers. yes, virginia, a spontaneous show like this does need writers. to bill geddie, thanks for being such a passionate supporter of comedy on this show. thank you, bill. but more importantly, thanks for the sex. not for nothing. i mean it when i say, those were the best 14 seconds of my life. [ cheers and applause ] my co-hosts, who sit with me now and to those who have had a place at the table. ♪ to all the girls i've sat with before ♪ i would like to say thank you. i salute you all. i thank you for the fun and lively conversations. i was born an only child. now i know firsthand what sibling rivalry is all about. and barbara, thank you all you guys two came today. alan and susie and joan and

meredith. and regis. my family, my aunt julie, my daughter, my husband. barbara, what can i say. thank you for asking me to join you at the table all these years ago. my life hasn't been the same since. really, it hanzn't. you're a legend and a friend of mine. if you'll allow me, there's something i have been meaning to say on your behalf for 16 years. burden of pro [ bleep ] harry reasoner. [ cheers and applause ] >> nobody understands that. >> we get it. we get it. have a great day, everyone. take a little time to enjoy what? "the view."

coming up, gun fire in a maryland neighborhood. and new details about the mother accused of abducting her children from a hospital. and new restrictions on nail polish remover. why you might have to show i.d. the next time you buy it at a local store. >> already today, there are some areas of rain on the doppler.

>> live and in hd, this is abc 7 news, on your side. a criminal background. the woman accused of of ducking her children from a d.c. hospital was no -- accused of abducting