good morning. welcome to "viewpoint." i'm pat lawson muse. next sunday it's father's day and this morning we have invited some fathers, some men who are working to help fathers become better fathers. they are from the new website 100 fathers.com. welcome to the show reverend robert george who is chair of the board at 100 fathers.com. alan exerson is the president and founder and we have the founder of the father's day cookout. welcome, dads. good to have you with us.

you're all fathers. you have founded the brand new website. tell us what it's all about. >> the website is a portal, it's a place for resources for fathers. you can go out and find information from others. you can find social resources for children, but it's often very difficult for men to go out and get tangible, actionable resources for fatherhood. >> so it's brand new. where was the idea born? >> well the idea was born from me with my first born. i had her when i was a teenager. i was a high school dropout. i was a ward of the state in prince george's county, ill-prepared to take care of a baby. and through a lot of mentorship, through gentlemen like this, one of my closest mentors tony pitman who you may know as

t-rock, they helped mold me along that way. i feel like that it's my -- my responsibility to get that out to the community and we use the website to do that. >> you have one more than one child. >> oh, yeah, i have five. five. >> okay, so you have had a lot of experience, a lot of opportunities to learn. pastor george, founder of the board, tell us about your children. >> oh, my goodness. i have two beautiful daughters. one is 20 and the other one is 9. the oldest one is in college in spellman, shout-out to spellman. we love spellman. the 9-year-old is talented and gifted. active. loves to big legos. she wants to be an engineer. one day iguess guess she'll follow in daddy's footsteps. >> how did you get involved? >> oh me they asked me to get involved and we need someone to

have someone who can meet the fathers spiritually and real talk. that's what's missing a lot of time that real talk. >> jeff, you have got children, and a lot of experience as a dad. >> yes. actually, i have three boys and through the joy of marriage and i have a 15-year-old step daughter as well. my story is a little different. with my oldest son, i was -- his mother passed away a while back and that left me as a single father. and i got in -- i had struggles finding resources as a single dad. i had a lot of roadblocks in attempting to find resources and basically help and support as well. and i got with 100 fathers.com, because i struggled but i got through it. and i want to help other men who may be facing those same roadblocks as i faced. >> being a parent, whether it's a father or a mother, is not easy. and there are a lot of books out there, but there's really no book that tells you how to do this.

and how to do it perfectly. you sort of learn by doing. >> right. >> but alan, what would you say is the best part for you about being a dad? what have you learned is the best part of being a father? >> the best part to me for my older children is when they actually start doing what i have asked them to do or been teaching them to do and then they do it and subconsciously. you know? i always tell them, hey, do it now. don't wait until the last minute. get it done. my daughter jamie will come to me two weeks before a project, i have a project, dad. it's already done i got it done ahead of time. that to me is i'm penetrating, i'm getting into their little minds. i'm doing what i've got to do and it shows. >> when you lead and they follow. >> oh yeah. >> it's a fantastic feeling, isn't up it pastor george? >> it is. the best part for me just watching them grow. you know? my father wasn't around for me. you know?

rolling stone, wherever he laid his hat, may he rest in peace. seeing them grow and again, a 20-year-old and a 9-year-old has two different perspectives. i'm so grateful and thankful to watch them like that. and being in their life for their reason. >> is it the growing up part that you like best or having them understand the meaning of opeddiance? >> it's the growing up. it's also when like i always say, when you teach them something and they show their independence. i mean, my oldest son when he was 12 years old he played football and did boxing. and i worked during the day. so he'd get himself to the boxing gym and then catch the bus to football practice. i would meet him at football practice and i thought that was so great that he learned -- he knows the metro better than i do. i thought it was great he learned the metro and how to transfer and things of that

nature. >> okay. we're talking to fathers this morning. we'll talk about the new website, 100 fathers.com in a minute. stay with us.

they make little hearts happy and big hearts happy too because as part of a heart healthy diet those delicious oats in cheerios can help lower cholesterol. cheerios... how can something so little... help you do something so big.

welcome back. we are talking about fathers this morning, getting ready for father's day. we talk with the gentlemen who run 100fathers.com. alan, would you say that fathers get a bad rap? >> i would say there are those who are deserving of the rap out there but i also think that there is the fathers that are doing what they're supposed to do. that trend -- the trend is changing towards them. so for them, they do not deserve any negative connotations or any negative rap. but, you know the trend is changing. so we are doing more and you

know, we are moving past that. >> pastor george, one of your jobs is the copastor at your church. what do you see in terms of trends? >> the communication level is improving. i have more men just coming up and saying, hey pastor, can we talk? that's dynamic. because in most churches, 75% of the population of the church congregation is women. so therefore, if that 25% are men, then they come and say, i have some issues i can talk about. confidentiality, you know, i'm not to tell their business. because we're private people. >> prideful. >> prideful and private. that's where the trend is changing. i see more and more men wanting to be a part of what we're doing, interest groups, fellowshiping each other. and leaning on one another. can you help me, and how can i get the right help? >> jeff, do you ever feel that you've gotten a bad rap as a dad? >> i do. actually when my oldest son,

when the mother passed people asked me who's going to raise your son, is your mom going to do it? they didn't expect me to step up as a father and raise my son. they were almost surprised when i said i'm going to do it. also, i speak at a men's group every monday. like alan and the pastor said, the tide is starting to change. men -- right now when we're in groups we open up to each other. and we're more likely to say, hey man, you know i need help. you know, trying to -- i need my brother's keeper to help me out. >> there are many as you know black families in crisis today because there are so many absent fathers, that more than half of the black children in this country live only with a mother. that's had a huge impact on black families, in addition to problems like poverty and drugs and crime. talk about the challenge, pastor, of bringing the family together and then healing that

schism. >> i think the first thing is you kind of hit upon it, the stigma. not all dads are bad. maybe they made some bad decisions that created some consequences. now they have to live with the consequences. then the mother who took on the role of father. you have two hats. i've got mother and father, so now we bring it together as a family unit. we cannot miss the component of the children. because many of the children are observing this chaos or crisis that's going on. what assistance do they have? so we target the fathers say, look, it's okay. you made a mistake, yeah, which all make mistakes, it's life, go on with that. so the crisis point that you're talking about, we're really trying to bridge the gap that families can come together as a unit. because we know it's breaking down. we pray that it will get better, we know it can get better, but we have to do something now. this is a movement. this is action that needs to happen right now. >> alan, the sentencing project which is a group based here in washington that advocates for prison reform points out that if

current trends continue, roughly one in every three black males in their lifetime will end up incarcerated. talk about that crisis. >> i think it's an absolute -- it's absolutely sad that that is the numbers that are on african-americans. so when you look at the situation, you don't look at the fruit of the tree, you look at the root. why? why are men -- african-american men more likely to experience this? it's about the division of resources. it's about support, you know, and the lack of having that. so we are working to provide that and sustain that sort of support for men. so you the fix the head, then the rest will come into place. you understand? so we get the fathers, we'll raise a generation of children that will be less likely to go down that road. >> that's right. >> jeff you are raising up and training what you all call at

your website stakeholders. what's a stakeholder? >> a stakeholder basically -- we say stakeholder because we have most of the attention goes on men who aren't doing what they're supposed to do and we have men like today. we're doing the best we can do as far as fathers and we should be held accountable as well. because we have the stake in the men who are maybe not doing what they're doing, but i'm sorry, what they're not doing because they don't know how. they don't know where to get help, so we are -- we should be held accountable to help bring them up. pastor george has daughters. the children are here without a father. and so we need to be held accountable as stakeholders to say hey, we're here, we can help. >> get involved. >> right. right. >> stakeholders have a vested interest. we believe that the stake holders -- that person that

brother what's got things going okay he can help another brother that we deem in crisis. that crisis is a call for help. >> we have to take a break. we'll continue our talk about 100fathers.com. stay with us. why are we watching this again? i pay for all these channels, so i make myself watch them all. joey, i'll watch anything except this. except this. go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back. fios custom tv lets you pay for the types of channels you want, not the ones you don't. 100% fiber optics is here. get out of the past. get fios. now for $79.99 a month at getfios.com. call the verizon center for customers with disabilities at 800.974.6006 tty/v

good morning. welcome back i should say. our focus this morning is 100fathers.com. one of the services that you provide, alan, is a digital support for men who seem inclined to help and seek help online. >> yeah, that's how we feel will be effective. a lot of men will not seek medical help. they won't say i need help. >> they don't like to go to the doctor. >> we don't like the doctor. so what we decided to do was to fix that barrier.

we'll provide group counseling, provide an attorney on the webinar and we do it virtually so we can avoid having them make that appointment and go somewhere. >> pastor george, as a clergyman, you know the difficulty of sometimes getting both parties into the counseling session together. >> right. right. >> generally it's the wife who comes first. >> there's the easy one. and then what we're doing now is someone goes on facebook right now and puts a question out there. and we can answer that question. that provides them that resource, immediately. many times from the time they come to my office, the crisis has already happened or it's already in progress. now the wife is upset because the judge did more than what she thought they were going to do, and now her ex or current father of their children is upset. now they come to pastor george. now, my concern is where -- was there anything i could do in advance of that crisis?

at least prepare both parties of that. many cases the husbands or the father of the child is the one that's not prepared. he's kind of waiting for the action to happen and now there's a crisis situation. >> you were just telling me during the break about a father who logged in yesterday on facebook i believe and asked an interesting question. is it possible to be a good father when you're five states away? what did you tell him? >> well i started with just basic custody planning because in his post, one child was a newborn and the other was on the way. so i said he was actually in a great spot because this is the time he can start planning. he can start establishing visitation or not visitation, because a father shouldn't have to visit the children, they should have them. but setting up time now, because courts are looking for the ability for the child to bond. if i have an established routine of doing that, then that helps. that's preparing for should i

litigate over custody. we gave him tips like that. we let him know it can be done with virtual skyping and face timing and logging in to help with homework. but you can't really replace it. my first tip is evaluate why there's distance. when you have a child, you lay down your life for that child. that means i have to give up a career. if i have to do whatever, then i have to make the adjustment if i can. >> interesting. jeff, you are responsible for the social planning. >> yes. pastor george said a lot of times when the wife may come to the pastor and basically cry out for help, then a lot of times i have the men come to me and because a lot of men that know me know what i do, so they come to me and they're lost. they don't know where to go. they have been -- they're kind of in a room with no doors. >> you're a social worker by training. >> yes, in the district of columbia. so i have seen a lot, i have

been through a lot. so it's not just about what i have learned. i also share experiences that i have to kind of meet them where they are. and we always -- we always end our talks with a plan for the next conversation. some conversations have gotten to point that i'm so frustrated i may do something to myself. so then we -- we have to talk longer. and again, we always end with, okay, next time i see you, this is what we're going to do. because that way with myself i know that he's making plans to see me again. so then i know, okay, well for the most part he's probably not going to do anything because he's making plans to see me again. that's a big thing. >> what about the role that the mothers play? you can't minimize that. >> important role, yes. >> we cannot as fathers -- especially as fathers that are looking to get to the next level cannot do this without our mothers.

because they see when we are not doing what we're supposed to do they see the look on our children's face. they see the pain. when the children are waiting. >> won't show up. >> if we want to get this 100 fathers thing done right, we need our advocate to share what we don't know. my wife is -- she is always right there looking and she's always whispering in my ear, you don't want to that because i just saw that. so that sort of thing is how we will employ our moms to get involved and let us know what we don't know. >> yeah. let us know. >> more than tips. they're part of our advisory. >> everybody needs somebody on their shoulder. >> absolutely. it's always, you don't want to eat that. >> got to take a break. be right back. stay with us.

skippy!! yippee!! fun fun fun! shiny! you never listen! what? is someone talking? ♪ skippy!! ♪ ♪ yippee!! ♪

i'm bored. hashtag bored. skippy!! yippee!! look a ride! (vo) made with the funnest peanuts ever! skippy. yippee!! ♪ welcome back.

100fathers.com is sponsoring a huge cookout. tell us about it. it's the j-razz cookout. >> yeah i had nothing to do on father's day and we know that men love to cookout side. so i called up my friends, hey, we're going to have a cookout. it was very small. we had one little small grill, no side items. just meat and a people box radio. that was the cookout. so i continued doing it because i wanted to give fathers something to do on father's day. and also i wanted to celebrate fatherhood, whether you're a father or like a father in someone's life. that's how the cookout was born and 17 years later we have grown so much that we're now moving to cookout from anacostia state

park up to upper marlboro. we have rented out the whole park. which a deejay, he's my deejay. we have charles, a chef, on the grill all day long, we have face painting, children's art making jewelry and things like that. and just every day we're just solidifying more things for the cookout. >> so the cookout takes place when? >> father's day, 12:00 to dusk. you can rsvp on 100fathers.com. you must rsvp because we need to make sure we have enough for everybody. as well as if you'd like to volunteer donate or do food items or donate cash. >> it is free? >> it is absolutely free to the public. if you don't -- just come. just come. >> it started off as free and it will always be free. >> that's right. >> we have father's day t-shirts for the fathers as well. >> that's in upper marlboro.

>> 7805 west mullton avenue. >> okay. pastor george tell us the top character traits of a good father. lead us with that. >> accountability. they have to be accountable to their children. regardless of their relationship with their mother -- with the mother of their children. if both parents are in the house, but accountability. that's the top character trait and be honest with them. be truthful. look the child in the eye daddy can't make it today, but here's why. and then the child will begin to understand that daddy cares. >> and keeps his word. >> keeps his word. >> reverend robert george, alan atkinson and jeff rasco with 100fathers.com. happy father's day to you. thank you for being with us. that's "viewpoint." i'm pat lawson muse. stay with us for "news4 today."

"news4 today" starts now. >> right now on "news4 today," working on a hot day. an ice cream truck driver shot and killed on the job. we're getting new details about the victim and the search for a gunman. 92 was our high temperature yesterday. so just how warm and humid will it be again today? i'll have the latest in my forecast. also ahead, the explanation a father is giving after his son shoots up a dallas texas police station. good sunday morning, everyone. welcome to "news4 today." i'm gofangie goff. >> i want to start off a