well, glad to have you here. welcome back to the insurance game. great, there's lots of files i'd like you to review from our international branches. bangkok, london, madrid... mexico city... los angeles. let's staryou as a consultant, work high-profile recoveries on a commission basis, and get you an office, maybe. mr. ford? mr. ford? was it something i said? zoe, it's -- it's... it's more complicated than you think. but you called the police, right? yeah, but they didn't even really get it when i was explaining it to them it's very... difficulto wrap your head around unless you're a banker. so explain it better. daddy, it's the right thing to do.

okay. can i get a cellphone? oh, yoi. i got no good choices here, do i? [ scoffs ] i've got no good choices. [ sighs ] eh, screw it. [ engine revs ] honey! dad? i don't know what's going on! dad! it's the cruise control! dad, look out! [ horns blaring ] uh... the brakes! daddy! [ res squealing ] [ exhales sharply ] [ tires squealing ] [ engine revving ] [ screams ]

[ glass shattering ] okay, guys. hold on. i got you. get her out of here. now. yeah, ok. i've got her. give me your hands. move slow. move slow. get her out. take it easy. okay. [ grunts ] i got her. get him. oh, yeah. yeah. matt: oh, god. help -- help me. what -- hey. help! help! help me! help! hey! hey! my dad? my dad? okay. hold on. help! please, help! help! hurry!

the rich and powerful, they take what they want. we steal it back forou. and sometimes, bad guys make the best good guys. we provide... [ indistinct conversation ] excuse me, i just wanted to check on -- hi, i'm glenn leary. i'm matt's boss at the bank. oh. i'm sorry. this is lieutenant bonanno of the state police. mr. ford. hell of a thing you did. now, you call me if you think of anything, all right? state police? car crash downtown -- that's boston p.d., not state police.

matt called him to set up a meeting. i have no idea why. maybe something at the bank? how? there isn't even gonna be a bank after friday. we work at first boston independent. we're going under. at the end of the week, the government's gonna come in, write one last check for all our bad assets, and that's it -- close the doors. and, um... matt took it pretty hard. he's drinking. you know what a mess people are when they drink. he's in surgery. i'm gonna go down and check on him. [ clears throat ] thanks again. something's wrong with the car. hmm? it went real fast... and then the brakes... yeah? listen, there -- there's a detective bonanno out there. i'm gonna go tell him about this, okay? no, wait! something's wrong with the car.

all right. you should get some sleep. yeah? yeah. [ indistinct conversations ] parker: picking up for one. man: last name? parker. first name? no. just one name. great. i hope you enjoy it. hardison: parker? eliot: [ laughing ] all right.

eliot? nate? parker? hardison. so, how have you -- good. good. great. you? fantastic. six months of traveling. did a couple of big jobs. yeah. me, too. great off time. well, i bought an oxygen tank. cool, nice. yeah, super. i've been really super, too. yeah, she didn't tell me that you guys would -- oh, you all made it. [ gasps ] i didn't know you could sing. you know. not as well as i act, but, yeah. oh. thanks. uh, i don't want to wrinkle your -- ooh. [ chuckles ] um... we're gonna meet up afterwards. uh... [ clears throat ] [ harmonizing ] huh.

[ slurping ] yeah, you know, i'm sure the reviews will be -- oh! ...on the news web -- website already. really? wow. "never before has a production of 'the sound of music' made me root for the nazis." [ gasps ] [ groans ] you quit drinking? yep. you quit drinking? sure did. you quit drinking? how do you know about this place, then? i rent a condo upstairs. you rent a condo above a bar? that's right. well, that's very... catholic. parker: the costumes were really great. no. no, no, no. stop it. there is nothing you can say that's gonna make me feel better. unh-unh. i know what could make you feel better. we should steal something. mmm. no, no. yes! no. we could do it together. i like this. get right back up on the bike. bike of crime. didn't you earlier tell me how great your new lives were? yeah, well, i stole the hope diamond.

ye, 'cause i was bored. didn't care. i spent three days hacking the white house e-mail -- no buzz. see? but we are doing some pretty hinky stuff in pakistan. hinky. look, i'm miserable. they're miserable. okay, w-what have you been doing the last six months? i was in pakistan. you see what you did? you took the world's best criminals -- hitter, hacker, grifter, thief. you took us, and you broke us. no, no. i -- what i did -- i taught you how to help pple. that's -- that's all. exactly. yeah. this is the problem, though, with being the good guy. it -- it gets under your skin. look, nate. you have to have some poor, little lost soul somewhere who needs a little extra-legal aid. look, we all -- we agreed that we'd just move on. yeah, but... we're...we're thieves. nate: not me. look, it was great. it was fun. it was wonderful while it lasted, but, you know, i was drunk most of the time, to be honest with you. a little crazy -- yeah, but you were good.

listen, really, i owe all of you. and i'm very proud of what we did. i-i really am. but... i got my life back, and i intend to keep it that way. and i am not a thief. it was great to see all of you. good nht! you didn't even get a chance to tell him. i know. tell him what? nothing. [ sighs ] [ irish accent ] hey, does your mother sew? stitch that.

[ grunts ] oh. bugger. even when you're taking an antidepressant,

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[ munching ] [ gasps ] [ grunts ] that's my shirt. yeah. oh, yeah. i stayed the night to make sure you were okay. you what? but don't worry. i didn't, you know, look under your bed. i know that's where guys keep weird, kinky stuff. there's nothing under my bed. this is all coffee. get out of there!

get all this stuff out of here. you're planning something. i know it. come on. get out my house. someone tried to kill you last night. eliot: what do you want us to do, man? you want us to just blow town and let you figure it out? yes, actually. that's exactly what i want you to do. we found the phone number of the hospital in your pocket, and we know what you -- what you did. we know you saved that guy'slife and that little girl. and we're all really, really proud of you. lo, nobody else is gonna help that guy and his little girl. okay, that's what we do. we help people. by the way, i compared sophie's description of your attacker to the accident footage from the security camera. do you realize, on average, people are caught on security cameras 13 times a day? atm cameras, traffic cameras. it's crazy, man, but we can track him. we can. well, i -- i lost him in this. yeah, well, i found this empty briefcase belonging to a matt kerrigan at that intersection. it's boston commonwealth bank, right? no, first independent boston. that's where kerrigan works.

hmm. who's this guy? nate: you don't know, do you? that's kerrigan's boss, that guy. leary. whatever. all right, who's the other guy? it's not clear enough for facial recognition. yeah, well, the problem is, these two cats went down to the safety desit boxes. which is the only room in every bank, with absolutely no cameras. which means we up, baby. they tried to kill kerrigan for what was in the briefcase. we're gonna steal it back. she was dressed that way 'cause she's doing a con. what, you thought she was dressed like a nun for no reason? it's parker. oh, fair enough. okay, i want you out of my house. out. i'm -- i'm getting cleaned up. i'm going upstairs. i want all this stuff out of here. i want you guys out of here. i'm not a part of this. okay. not a part of this. this is -- this is you guys. we got it. if you want to do this thing, you're on your own. understood? so, you going? i'm not going anywhere.

you want to see what he's got under his bed? no, i do not. icky. i personally promise your missionary money will be absolutely safe here in our vault. i thank you. you keep your key. the master remains upstairs at all times. oh, bless you, bless you, sweets. bless you. you are e twinkle in that song "twinkle, twinkle, little star." thank you much. oh, that is wrong. which box is glenn leary's? 5076, but you know you're gonna need the master key. and the children -- the children thank you. they will send you a card just as soon as we buyhem tiny pencils. a-and teach them how to spell. it's a two-step process, you see. superglue and a heat-activated polymer to set it. seven seconds, instant plastic key.

shake the bible. this is even more wrong. i did look for you. for six months. done. the key. done. i think people are like locks. really complicated and frustrating. but you can't force them. you have to take time and be fiddly. fiddly? you learn to be patient, and just wait until you hear the... [ lock turns ] we could open every box in here with that key. focus. we could steal everything. clean them out. fo-cus. i'm just saying. i'm just saying. nate: all right, zoe, well, that's, uh... you know, it'll be better once you get it out of the cast.

oh. okay, i'll tell you what. i'm gonna come by later and check on you. yeah. take care. now, this is not "gone." this is "more." yeah, i, uh -- i scanned the doments in leary's box, but i wanted to print out a few pages. i asked -- i askedliot to get rid of this stuff. now there's more stuff. did you? oh, we -- we crossed, but didn't see each other. he didn't tell me. oh, that's how you're gonna play this? oh, man. look... what? is that -- is that -- what is that aroma? that's that apple shampoo that's open. you've been up in my shower, rummaging around? man's in a strange bathroom, he's got a lot of time to kill -- nate, nate, nate. look. business incorporated, 1978. guess what. don't care. look, look. this is what kerrigan found. the deeds from '75 to '77. 20 businesses all started in the late '70s. now, here's where it gets weird. all the financials for -- what? -- 30 years, squeaky clean. taxes paid, employees withholding often and early.

that's when they took out crazy-bad business loans, refinanced mortgages with high interest rates. i'm talking big loans, too. add it up, it's a couple million. brandon o'hare. i'll run him through the database. grew up in the same neighborhood. the o'hares e mobbed up. these are all mob businesses you're talking about here. mob? where's eliot? oops. [ cellphone ringing ] [ sighs ] what? yeah, hardison. this is the third place i checked. it's all the same. what do you mean mob? tommy: hey! oh, that mob. hey, that's private property. yeah. don't yeah, i'm gonna teach you how to respect private property. [ grunts ] what did i tell you? [ coughing ]

come on. aah! he kicked my nose! uh, sorry. seriously? you know, guys, uh, there is a dishwher here. eliot: you're out of ice. this is all the stuff i found athe warehouse in the boxes. hardison: check it out -- a 1981 calendar of hall and oates. the first two months are all hall and no oates. that's cold, man. judging by this fringing and... what? ...those shoulder pads, this stuff hasn't left that warehouse since the 1980s. [ robotic voice ] i fell like a robot.

how come their financials are so squeaky clean? because they're fake businesses. i mean, come on, it's right there. i mean, i'm just saying. what? sophie, how do -- how do you catch mob guys? uh, two glasses of chianti and a story about my grandma in sicily. how does the government catch mob guys? taxes. taxes. that's how they got capone. it's how they get everybody. yeah, i mean, they never get you for the crime. ey always get you for the taxes. it's not really fair. so, 30 years ago, the o'hares got very smart. you see, they set up all these shell companies. fake sales, receipts. they launder all their money through them. everybody in the family gets a "salary." yeah, they pay withholding, payroll taxes, pension. it's all old school. that's why the businesses are clean -- they're dirty from the inside. well, yeah. i mean, if you have a body in the trunk of your car, you're gonna drive under the speed limit, aren't you? you know, when you're sober, your metaphors get creepier. hardison: but, uh, wait, wait, that still doesn't explain

all from a bank that's about to close. close? no, not close. get bailed out. look, we've got a banker in the pocket of the mob. the mob takes out bad loans, cleans outhe bank knowing three days from now, the government's gonna come along and then, you know, bail the bank out. i mean [chuckles] it's perfect. you know, i don't even think it's illegal. i mean, if we were gonna do this -- this job. just this one job. yes, just this one. i mean, the con that you'd want to do -- hypothetically. ...hypothetically, you know, is, uh, the turnabout, of course. oh, that is a good one. you know, it takes... five people to do the turnabout. that's true. there's just the four of us. parker: need one more person. we've got to scare the banker into turning against the mob. all right.

just this one. oh. if you really want. if you insist. great. we're on board hardison, you and parker, you're gonna be on the badge. eliot, sheepdog. sophie -- ice queen. and i'm the bagman. now, if you'll excuse me, i am gonna go call a professional killer who tried murder me, and arrange to meet him in an isolated location. well played.

choose it, sear it, roast it, roast it, slice it. new, hand-carved roasted sirloi perfectly paired, perfectly served... and starti at just $10.99?! it's dinner time at outback. mr. leary, i'm detective costello with the massachusetts state police. this is detective costigan. i believe you mewith our chief, lieutenant bonanno. uh, yeah. how can i help you? we're investigating your lleague matt kerrigan's "car accident." so y-you don't think it was an accident? of course not. she did the finger thing. you got that. everybody gets that. did i do it right? no. no. this guy just... do you recognize this man? no, listen, i don't know what kind of stuff matt was getting into. you sure? never went to the movies? i don't reallynow. never went shopping together? no, i didn't -- never went to your house. never did parties. spend time with ur family -- christmas, kwanzaa, hanukkah?

you sure -- went to the pool, played a little pool, knocking each other's balls around? not really, no. all right, okay, you know what, mr. leary, if you think of anything, you give us a call. we've got our eyes on you. all right, thanks. i did it right, didn't i? it was perfect. i knew i did it right. it was beautiful execution. absolutely. just like you taught me. i did it. yeah. yeah, you did it. i like it. yeah. hey, this detonator -- if i'm around the corner, is it still gonna be in range? should be. i haven't worked out all the kinks yet. sometimes the things just go off. whoa, whoa, wait. hey. i thought you said this thing was safe. mostly. mostly safe. i was very specific. uh, sometimes the frequencies get messed up. what frequencies, man? huh? i got these things in my pants. like, you know, a garage-door opener, a car alarm. [ car alarm chirps ] [ exhales sharply ] what a the odds that eliot's crotch will actually explode? damn it, hardison! [ chuckles ]

how's nate doing? [ grunting ] let me call you back. i've got to go. [ coughing ] why were you at the accident? i was following kerrigan. i thought he was one of your guys. you working for the cops? sure, o'hare, i'm working for the cops. that's why i called you and came down here alone because i'm the smartest undercover cop in the world. come on. you're jimmy ford's kid -- nathan. thought you were gonna become a priest. yeah, it didn't work out. i got news for you. doesn't look like this is gonna work out for you, either. go ahead. entertain me. yeah, so, 30 years ago, your father set up a bunch of fake businesses to launder your money. and you ran them through a bank you guys control. how am i doing? you're talking yourself into boston harbor. yeah, then your bank got in a little trouble. a big federal bailout comes along. you figured out how to get a slice of the bailout. yeah, we're done here.

millions of dollars in b loans, you get your pet banker leary to write you off as toxic assets just as the banks go under. government eats the loans. you don't have to shell out a single pny. nice. i like it a lot. annie kroy. name's familiar. my family does business in rth london with terry adams, and a couple of other organizations. we handle the money. yeah, see, what they do is they clean the money. hey! i wasn't talking to you. yeah, all right. but since the new european banking laws -- you know this, what are they calling it? the credit crunch. yeah, shifting money on either side of the channel, it's getting a bit tricky. we hired him to find us alternatives here in the states. and he found you. oh. hello, gorgeous. i was just coming up to talk to him about it the other night

we bumped heads. so, uh, what's your offer? we want in. we'll buy 30% of your businesses at a five-point premium, assume their debts. you trade us clean u.s. government money for our... more soiled funds. the bailout goes down in three days. all right then. good faith payment, tomorrow, cash. 250 grand. show we're serious. uh... i'm gonna have to talk to some people. fine. it's up to you if yowant to tell them about the 250.

[ chuckles ] [ speed-dialing, ringing ] hardison: leave a message after the beep. detective costello. somebody just shot at me. we have to talk, please! [ monitor beeping ] nervous habit. what is that? saint brigid. my mother's name. dad got it for me after she died. hmm. so, how are you doing? they say the accident's his fault. no. no, now listen. your dad -- he found some papers at work, and he was trying to figure out what they meant. and he got a little bit too close to something -- no, but it's not his fault. it was my fault. no, no, it wasn't your -- no, he said something was bothering him at work. i told him to call the police, and now --

"there are wolves in the world." that's what dad says. "be careful, zoe. there are wolves in the world." he was not wrong. yeah? so the world's just like this, huh? bad people do bad things and they always get away with it.

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oh, detective, thank god. listen, somebody -- somebody tried to kill me yesterday. yeah, i'll be there pretty soon. but listen -- mrs.roy, she wants to talk to your banker and make sure, you know, the details are right. that's not gonna happen. hardison: come in and talk to us, mr. leary. we can protect you, but only if you tell us everything. glenn: i can't. i can't. do you know who's doing this to me? no, but i have to warn you. they're gonna try again. and next time, they'll be smarter. u know, she can be a real hard-ass. i mean, you saw that the other night. yeah, she got a hard head. [ chuckles ] now, that ass... [ laughs weakly ] hardison: next time, you'll get a phone call from somebody you know. they'll ask to meet you somewhere isolated, and at's the hit. somebody i know? nate: and make sure the banker's there. i'll take care of it. justring the money. all right. when you get that call, come to my office. you ask for lieutenant bonanno. you tell him everything. that's the only way i can keep you ave. but i -- [ dial tone ] [ laughs ] [ ringing ] [ cellphone rings ]

o'hare: leary, get down to the warehouse. i need to meet you now. [ dial tone ] [ cellphone beeps ] where's your boss? she's on her way. i just wanted to make sure it was just us, no cops. here you go. eliot, is leary with the cops? we don't have a lot of room for error. there's a problem. leary drove down to the waterfront. dumped his car. he's heading right for you. he was supposed to go to the cops. well, then, i don't know what he's doing. glenn: o'hare! o'hare! what the hell are you thinking? the deal, the brits, they wanted to meet. somebody just took a shot at me. for all we know, it was the brits. and then you call me on my cellphone when we're crawling with cops? okay, guys, it's not o'hare.

o'hare is not the boss is what i'm saying. no. this whole con was built around o'hare. ooh, they're probably gonna shoot nate in the face. parker, i can hear you. ooh. uh, sorry. forgot about the -- t-this is not good. all right. well, listen. we're gonna have to make this one up as we go. state cops -- they questioned me about kerrigan. i tried to get them to talk, but nothing. are you sure this deal isn't a setup? ford! ah, yes. you? him? this is the guy making the offer? he was at the crash. yeah, look, look. i'm just, uh, the middleman he. i don't care why you're here. this stinks. i say put him in the harbor. this is a good deal. you don't decide what deals we take. and i say if you want your payoff, you put him down now. nate: a good faith payment right here. huh? um, you know, sorry. we should have contacted you first, but this was supposed too to the man in charge, so... you thought these guys came up with that bailout plan?

oh, come on. ese guys aren't in charge. i'm in charge. these guys have been running this town for 30 years -- oh, come on. these guys are the past. what do you think these guys clear in a year? stealing cigarettes, selling drugs -- a couple hundred thousand, all in? and for that, the government hunts them down like dogs. people like me, we took billions from the banks. billions. and what did the government do when they finally caught us? they wrote us a giant check, and begged us to make it all better. [ grunting ] all right! all right! hey. hey, i know this guy. he was there when the cops questioned me. him? yeah. you better know what you're doing. hey, he's got a state trooper badge.

that's it. kill him. whoa. uh... you want him dead, you kill him. i fixed kerrigan's brakes. i'm not killing a cop. you screwed up kerrigan. nate: yeah, no. he's right. you're right he's -- well, we're -- [ gunshot ]

[ british accent ] has he got a wire? well, come on, ford. get with it, check him for a wire. yes, uh, right on it. uh... this isn't how we do it in boston. really? it's exactly how we do it in london. except we usually use a razor blade. no wire. but he has a cellphone, though. give it to me. ah, nothing on speed dial. hit redial. see who he called. say, that's good. leary, right? annie kroy. nice little number with the banks there. it's a shame the rest of your operation's a bit ballsed-up. [ cellphone ringing ] o'hare? why was a cop's last phone call to you?

yeah, o'hare? but he has a cellphone, though. this is -- this -- this -- this -- this is a setup. how is it a setup? she shot the cop. yeah, and he's the one who dialed the phone. you didn't want us to shoot him either, did you? why? did you know him? it wasn't like that! come on! y-you know i was in this thing right from the beginning. w-why would i be involved? go! go! [ tires squealing ] get in if you want to live! man: get him! hey! hey! [ tires squealing ] [ gunshots ] get him! [ gunshots ] get the car! what are you doing? t-they're nna be right behind us.

whatappened to our man? i didn't kill him. they did. [ cellphone beeps ] tactical's moving in now. so in about one minute your friends are gonna have swat teams, smoke bombs, helicopters, and lasers all up in there, which means you got about 30 seconds to cut a deal, o'hare. that is who you are, right? brandon o'hare? oh, god. i'll give you leary. all right? he organized the bank fraud, and he contracted the kerrigan hit. i was an accessory after the fact. eh, good enough. [ taser crackles ] [ grunts ] he organized the bank fraud, and he contracted the kerrigan hit. those were the state cops who questioned me. well, have they got any evidence? no, no. nothing real. just o'hare's word against mine. and no documents? no. no, no. i-i have those. but kerrigan saw them. and there's just one problem. you know, we're screwed if he wakes up. he won't. kerrigan's the last loose end. i'll take care of himmyself.

him? hey, i never touched him. your fingerprints are all over him. i'll clean up my mess, you clean up yours. so, how did you do it? [ grunts ] detonator... ketchup. ah, the classics. oh, i love a good death scene! [ elevator bell dings ] woman on p.a.: dr. lawrence to pediatrics. mr. leary. you remember me, don't you? lieutenant patrick bonanno, organized crime division.

what's in the briefcase? in...? oh. um, i can explain that. [ whistles ] you know, i think i can explain this, too. o'hare's been talking. o'hare? yeah. i just found him duct-taped to the wheel of my car with a taped confession in his front pocket. he's being very cooperative. so, what? you find out o'hare flipped, and you went and robbed your own bank for getaway money? what? oh, yeah. somebody cleared out several safe deposit boxes at your bank. we could open every box in here with that key. [ inhales sharply ] mwah! oh, what's this? i'm gonna take a closer look at these, too. you know, maybe they can explain why you tried to kill mr. kerrigan. hey...no, i had nothing to do with that car crash! right.

well, why don't you just explain one thing to me, then. what are you doing with kerrigan's stolen briefcase? oh, yeah. yeah. well, i found this empty briefcase belonging to matt kerrigan at that intersection. i was tricked. i was tricked. it wasn't -- it wasn't me, you understand? somebody tricked you into bringing a briefcase full of evidence of your own crimes straight to the police? [ chuckles ] come on, mr. leary. nobody's that smart. get him out of here. [ gasps ] i can't take this from you. well, you know, it's not from us. the irs pays a percentage for all the tax frauds reported.

you found them. [ chuckles ] thank you. i can never thank you enough. thank you. there are wolves in the wld. mm. but sometimes they're the good guys, i guess. still your last job? well, uh, maybe, um... yeah? i mean, you know, until i find a job i like enough, you know,

idle hands are the devil's workshop. and then i'm out. i'm done. sure. yeah. 'cause you're not a thief. [ cellphone beeps ] hey, let's go get some dinner. oh, um... yeah, i -- i can't. i-i'm... i got to go meet someone. ah, bring them along. [ chuckles ] uh... boyfriend. ah. yeah. he's -- he's really yeah, i get it. you'll meet him. but... go, go. see ya.

[ sighs ]

whoa, whoa. w-what are you doing there? i'm running this cat 5 cable to the -- oh, no, no, no, no. you don't understand. no, i don't want to have these monitors in my apartment. parker: coming through! no, these must go. what? no! parker, no! not that paint-- i don't ever want to see that painting. "hi, i'm old nate, and i live here, too. you can't just break in here and start hanging -- oh, yeah, yeah -- for repairs or renovation, your landlord has full access to your dwelling. it's in the lease. what are you doing reading my lease? i bought the building. you bought the... you're my landlord? yeah. yeah. [ chain saw buzzing ] no, no! no, no, no, no! [ laughs ] [ coughs ]

[ cheers and applause ] do it! hands up, son! get him!

[ cheers and applause ] [ grunts ] [ gasps ] stay with him, mark! all right! [ cheers and applause fade ] mark? mark?! son! [ grunts ] [ cheers and applause ] man: find your feet, now. thataboy, mark! cover up, mark! cover up, mark! cover up, son! get out of there, mark!

get off! [ bell ringing ] mark, can you hear me? stay with me, mark. mark?! get the paramedics! get the paramedics! hang on. stay with me, mark. the rich and powerful, they take what they want. we steal it back for you. and sometimes, bad guys make the best good guys. we provide... jack: somebody drugged his water. it's an old boxing trick. he couldn't defend himself, and... he's still in the hospital.

a couple days before the fight, rucker told him to take a dive. i thought, uh, rucker was your son's manager. he was. but with mark being the favorite, he got great odds on tank, so we fired him. and i guess that news didn't go over so well, huh? rucker ain't a man used to hearing "no" around here. you must have known that rucker was gonna try something during the -- during the fight. something dirty. i never thought he'd take it this far. besides, we couldn't pass up that purse. it's five grand. that's the biggest payday we've ever seen. see, i lost my job when the plant closed. mark gave up his wrestling scholarship to come home and help out. so he poured asphalt all day, and he trained all night. only reason we can afford the hospital is 'cause of jonny. jonny? the ring doctor. he's my cousin. hmm. mark was real good, mr. ford.

[ voice breaking ] now, jonny says he'll never fight again. that's jed rucker. he runs a homegrown mixed martial arts league here in nebraska. ey have a very strong wrestling tradition here, so the talent pool is pretty deep. wrestlers have a good base for a blended training approach. you know, they can go from that to jujitsu, kickboxing, judo. parker: rucker promotes fights. and manages fighters, taking a cut every step of the way. yeah, you know, plus he's not above fixing bouts, as the howorths found out. we've dealt with some lowlifes, but when i heard abt this guy... eliot: that was a nice takedown. good ground and pound. he's a little sloppy in a closed guard, but it's a solid armbar. i mean, you can tell this guy's a wrestler. this ain't the ufc, but these guys got skills. hardison, where did you get these? online. they're viral videos. see, rucker doesn't have a tv deal, it's pretty much a bare-bones operation. you call this a sport? yeah, this is a sport. these are some of the best-conditioned athletes in the world. are you kidding me?

like cockfighting. it's not a cockfight. all right? let me show you something, hardison. come here. can i borrow you? all right. square up. remember what i showed you? are you... [ laughs ] there's three phases to an mma -- to an mma fight, okay? one, striking. nice. next is grappling -- the takedown. hold -- mnh-mnh! exactly. all right. the third one is jujitsu. okay, try to isolate a joint. that's good. that's a textbook armbar, parker. put some pressure on there. parker: like this? there you go. or you can go for a choke hold. all right, remember that thing that i showed you? there you go. lock that in. all right. you don't have to hold the arm. see, that's a triangle choke. that's nasty. puts pressure on his carotid artery, and the guy will submit by tap out. eliot, i'm tapping! i'm tapping! these fights are won by inches, i'm telling you. i can't breathe! all about leverage. yeah, um...it -- it looks -- it looks really painful. hardison: it is painful! no tv deal, you said, huh? [ choking ] hardison, what are this guy's other interests, this rucker guy? seriously, you ask me a question right now...

golf, huh? help me! mm-hmm. yeah. i mean, this guy's like a 1950s sitcom character. he plays a weekly game with the local businessmen. in fact, last year, he won the club championship did he? hmm. let me go! i guess it's, uh... she's killing me! ...it's time to hit the links. [ gasping ] i'm cool. just let me go real quick. i'm sorry, mr. rucker. the pro shop says your fourth is on his way. he's from out of town and apparently got stuck in traffic. i'm really sorry. these -- these things happen. whoa-ho! sorry, boys! late night. what do you feed these gals from nebraska -- viagra-frosted corn flakes or what? [ chuckles ] can we get started? sure, sure. let's get started. what are you playing for here? huh? oh, come on, now. weot to make this pitch-and-putt a little bit more interesting, huh? [ snorts ]

mr... wells. bill wells. yeah. a hundred bucks, huh? yeah, well, i tell you what. as excitg as that sounds, how about we up it to, uh... two grand. oh, come on. come on. don't tell me you're scared by a little action here. i'm sure that ford dealership and, right here, meat packing plant over here, you had some good years, didn't you? what is it you do? i run a gym. oh. pilates or yoga? what do you y, omaha? just me and you? hmm? [ sighs ] your buddies here can loan you the cash. i won't need no cash, mr. wells. two grand it is. front nineback nine -- eighteen. $6,000 total. sound good? all right. let's do it. man: good luck.

now, this -- this is what you'll be playing. i replaced the core with a torus of high-density polymer. when it spins, it creates a gyroscopic effect. you could hit this thing with a garden hoe and it would fly straighter than an army parade. whoo, look at that. ooh. [ clears throat ] what are those initials for? you know what that means? huh? quite a shot. nice shot. now, this is what rucker will be playing. it's got thermal nanotech inside -- like rfid chips, but ones that heat up and allow me to distribute the energy upon impact from the club head.

[ slurping ] [ laughs ] boy, you hate to see that, don't you? yes, i do. come on. let's play. [ laughs ] [ whistles ] hey! come on!

ooh! watch yourself. hardison. it's downhill, right? yes, keep going 7 inches, man. man: oh, geez. [ laughs ] [ grunts ] well, you know, not bad for a practice round. time to settle up, omaha. what are you -- what's all this? you know, i didn't expect much from you yokels, but, what, are you welshing? hey, i'm not gonna welsh, mr. wells. i just must have dropped my wallet. must have dropped your -- [ laughs ] look for my wallet. what is -- you know, i've heard all kinds of thing. but listen -- i'll tell you what. i'm staying the derby hotel.

guy never missed a shot. it was unbelievable. his name's wells. he's staying at the derby. ginny works the front desk there. yeah, why don't you give her call. [ safe beeps, opens ] i want her to see if she knows why he's in town. and see how he got a tee time at the club. i mean, what are we, the local muni now? nate: all right, work it out! work it out! come on, now! look at this, here. that's it. pick it up. lazy bastard. son of a bitch. [ humming ] oh, there. hey, there, omaha. hey. yeah, it's not that i don't trust you, it's just... well, i don't trust you. what is it you said you were doing in lincoln again, . wells? business.

well, right now, betting against nebraskans is proving pretty profitable. [ chuckles ] am i right? yeah, i guess you are. [ chuckles ] i'm just saying. is that my money? yeah, this would be yours. have a good day. i want to close at 11:00 tonight. [ grunts ] come here, come here. look who's still here. who's he talking to? engel: he's a walk-in. you want to keep an eye on the wells guy? not wells. i want you to keep your eye on that other guy -- the fighter. [ tires screech ] sorry for not properly introducing myself. name's jed rucker.

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appointments available now. tommy. wait, wait, wait. wait. [ indistinct shouting ] [ choking ] now, that's it. enough.

and who the hell are you? uploading video now. hardison: got it. see, online video websites, they track viewer hits by i.p. address so the trick is to just spoof a bunch of i.p.s, then write a script that lets you browse the video page via the proxy list and... nate: that's great. we got a feed on the security camera at the gym? yeah, yeah. the feed's on the tv. oh, well, how come we're not hearing it? where's the audio? we got audio? huh? no. oh, but the earbuds work. woman: room service. can i help you? yeahno, i can't eat this. i'm sorry? everything on my plate is yellow. it's chicken-fried steak. it's what? chicken-fried steak? no, let me just tell you, all right, meat should never be used as an adjectiv sophie, how's he doing? how's he doing?

it's a hell of a welcoming committee you got here. oh, that? yeah. we, uh -- we put all the newbies through that. we call it the gauntlet. i can see you've had some training. some. and wells -- what, he's your manager? he runs a league out of south dakota. south dakota? there's no athletic commission there. that's the way he likes it. kind of under-the-radar. action's raw. lot of amateurs trying to make a name for themselves. so, so, what's he doing here? no, you -- don't worry, son. you can talk to me. i can make it worth your while. he's here looking for talent. you know, some -- some fresh blood. why? i don't know. he sent me here to see if i could spot anybody worth poaching. is that right? look, i... all i know is that he has -- he has a meeting with some woman tomorrow and i got to find guys before then. so, he has a meeting? here?

come up to the office. we'll have a drink. here you go. thanks. so, tell me, uh, what's her name? i'm supposed to pick her up from the airport. uh... she's coming in from l.a. miss debbie dreiling. she's a producer. wells is working a tv deal. hardison: he found the stories. okay. now trip the news alert. [ beeping ]

i can't. what's he paying you, three-and-threes? five-and-fives? you under contract? sort of. i owe him money. so you're his grunt. you're working it off. i collect debts, you know. work security, bust noses. sometimes he lets me fight. well, let me tell you something. this wells is an idiot. it's a real waste of talent. see, most of these guys, they're pieces of meat, like the cows they butcher at work. but they come to my gym every night 'cause they think if they work hard enough and fight hard enough, that they can make it to vegas. and the ufc. and energy-drink contracts. and that's the dream i sell them. they listen to me because i can take that dream away. now, you -- you're different.

so, tell me. how much you owe wells? you can trust me. i'm here to help. hardison, his financials. hardison: i know, i know. i told you back home, it's all a big mess. no, come on. i need something now. i mean, he's... his money's all over the place. just give me a minute to plow through this, man. okay, eliot. eliot, say, uh, 20 grand. 20 grand. 20 grand. well, i can swing that. i can even bump someone off my next card. you'll be fighting within days. but i'll need something in return. i'll need you to bring this -- this miss debbie dreiling to me. before wells. now, you do that, and i'll get you out. [ sighs ] i'm starving. mm. i found these in the minibar. "pork rinds"?

sophie: well, this guy, he just -- he give me the creeps. we've gone up against rougher dudes than this before. i know. but it's this whole treating people as commodities. this whole barbaric sport. hey, don't lump thesguys in with rucker. all right, he's not what the sport's about. eliot, this "sport" is about two guys beating the crap out of each other. mma fighters act with more respect than any other athlete i've seen. yeah, they're "braveheart." i get it. no, you don't. ese guys don't fight because they like hurting other people, all right. they fight to gain some sort of control -- over their opponents, over their environment, over their lives. have you seen this town? huh? the farms are drying up. the only stores are bail bondsmen and pawn shops. and there's nothing they can do about it. so, yeah, they get in the ring and try not to let it all suffocate them. and it's about two guys beating the crap out of each other.

it's just that he -- he overpromised. what are you telling me? that he doesn't have the product that he says he did. [ chuckles ] sweetie, i think you may be operating on some misinformation. i'm just in town to produce a show. but you're also here closing a tv deal with wells and, i'm guessing, a pay-per-view package. but the thing is, he doesn't have what you need. and that's why he's trying to steal my fighters. [ cellphone rings ] uh, excuse -- i'm gonna -- i got to take this. say what you're saying is true. what exactly are you telling me? that you don't need him. he's a middleman. you need me. my, my. what a little shark you are. [ both chuckle ] are you sure we didn't have lunch at the ivy last week? just trying to make you feel at home. little midwestern hospitality and all. you hungry?

no. [ coughs ] mnh-mnh. um [chuckles] i'm -- i'm fine. well, bottom line is, you need good product. what -- what event are you here to produce? hardison: on it. there's a tractor pull in grand island, a livestock show in council bluffs... white people doing other white things... oh, uh, sophie, there's a trianna concert in omaha. trianna? she's that teenybopper kid's star. she's got a show on that kid's network. trianna. at the mid-american palace? that's a hot ticket. so let's say you've got trianna -- nate: yeah, right. enough. enough's enoug i'm sorry -- monkey boy here was supposed to take you to the hotel. it didn't happen. quite all right, sweetie. i was just catching up with the local welcome wagon. yeah, all e more reason i'm sorry. well, i really enjoyed our conversation. perhaps we can continue it at the concert later? pardon me? turns out i'm going to the big show.

of course. definitely. well, i look forward to it. mr. wells. trianna? really? hardison: hey, man, look. you're lucky i didn't give you a monster truck rally on an indian reservation. eliot: now what? to hook this guy, we have to convince him sophie's the real deal. how are we gonna do that?

choose it, sear it, roast it, ast it, slice it. new, hand-carved roasted sirloin. perfectly paired, perftly served... and starting at just $10.99?! it's dinner time at outback. [ tires screech ] so, look, the concert's already televised, so all we got to do is show rucker a tv production truck -- we're in charge. that means clearing out the real director. ye, he's coming in from l.a. network's flying him in. todd: come on! come on! give me something! come on! is this gonna take long? [ midwestern accent ] no. two shakes. are you in a hurry? even half a bar...what? yes. hurry. does anyone in this backwater hellhole know what that means? you're a director, right? what was your name again? what? it's laurence. todd laurence.

huh? yeah. it's about a limo driver who solves mysteries. till his wife leaves him for -- for the love of god! ...the best part -- the feed store manager. right? his wife...tramp -- hey, hee-haw -- move the car! okay? what was that? lug nuts. [ engine turns over ] [ tires screech ] parker: so, i'm todd laurence? [ girls screaming ] ladies, ladies, please, look. for the last time, i am not the tailback for the cornhuskers. go!