tv Noticiero Uni FOX February 19, 2013 11:35pm-12:00am EST
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>> thank you. >> can you believe that? donnie blew off that question faster than a priest -- sorry about that -- faster than a priest blew off temple. totally clean. anyway -- >> there's something inherently wrong with the question. when the cardinal goes to the vatican, there will be no pope. he resigns a week from tuesday. >> yeah, otherwise he totally would have answered our kim k question. >> is she catholic? >> no. >> what is she? >> annoying, fake, overexposed. but is she religious? >> she was screaming "oh, god" a lot in her sex tape. >> you're going to hell. thanks and sorry cardinal donald. >> have a good one, cardinal. safe trip. >> how are you, bro? >> what's up? >> live long and conquer. >> we talk to roy, a little person guy. we say, do you ever sing? >> yeah. >> what's your favorite song to sing?
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>> i love to rap. >> we say, really? he says, yeah. >> i'll give you a little something. it's called "ambition." >> and roy does a rap for us and it is awesome. >> and then we say goodbye and he says -- >> listen, i gotta go. >> you know, peace and love. >> peace and love. >> he holds up the peace sign and our peace signs come together and he goes -- >> come home, e.t. >> good night. >> all right, dude, have a good night, man. it's nice to see you, bro. >> check this out. hey, guys, guys, guys.
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>> wait a minute, i'm confused. >> well, let's just add a few ingredients from the tmz pantry. jamie lynn sigler, lenny dykstra, fetuses, prison, smallpox and voila. >> jamie lynn sigler out with her fiance and baby daddy, cutter dykstra, coming out of craig's in west hollywood. >> meta soprano is now a 31-year-old divorcee knocked up by and engaged to 23-year-old cutter dykstra. >> who's a minor league baseball player. >> lenny dykstra's son. >> lenny dykstra, world series champ, three-time all-star, and convicted felon. likes include currently being in prison, bankruptcy fraud, drugs and grand theft auto, not the game. also -- >> he may have stolen $700,000 from his son. >> oh, lenny, you're encouragable. but back to cutter and minor league ball. >> where do they play, here? >> he plays in hagerstown which is not that cool.
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>> yes, beautiful hagerstown, maryland, best known for -- >> smallpox epidemic during the civil war in hagerstown. >> thus, their minor league team, the hagerstown red pox. hayooo! anyway, back to jamie lynn. >> she's 31, she's had a divorce, she's with lenny dykstra's kid. like, what is -- it's weird. >> what? >> she married a much older guy and did a turtle. she has a weird background in dudes. >> which means, congratulations, anyone, you have a shot at jamie lynn sigler and cutter, yes, your dad's a total screw-up but at least he's not this guy. >> a.s.u. is going after a porn website called sun devil angels. they're not affiliated with a.s.u. but the site makes it look like these are girls that go to a.s.u. and they have sex in the classrooms and on campus and a.s.u. is basically threatening them because of the name. >> the best part of this whole thing is a.s.u. says, unless
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this site is taken down, it's likely to "cause initial interest, confusion, among internet users seeking information regarding a.s.u." >> if somebody is that stupid to think that that's the a.s.u. website, they'll get admitted, anyway, right? they'll let them in, they'll give them a scholarship. >> who researches a.s.u.? isn't that kind of where you end up? >> coming up -- >> we have the game at fred segal eating lunch. mayor suave is there. as soon as the game starts talking, the mayor ducks away. >> plus -- >> we have proof, hayden panettiere and wladimir klitschko banging again. they were in miami. he's got his arm around her. she's holding his hand. >> she probably tried to be with another guy and physically probably didn't work out.
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>> attention, "tmz" viewers, do you love "tmz" so much you want to wear it on your body? before you get that painful tattoo, check out the official tmz online store, tmzstore.com. we have everything. like shirts and hats and beanies and more shirts. got a cold dog? then you're a horrible owner! get him a tmz dog hoodie. love to drink coffee, pick up a tmz baseball hat. want to be like harvey? no, you can still buy a sippy cup anyway. come to tmzstore.com where our motto is all major credit cards accepted. >> hey, it's best selling
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rapper/gang affiliated guy game with the mayor of l.a. this can only go well. >> we got the game at fred segal, eating lunch. mayor suave is there. >> a.k.a., mayor antonio villaraigosa, but since we're tight, it's just -- >> suave. >> they're laughing and villaraigosa at first looks like, oh >> another picture. >> right. like the totally innocent shot he took with charlie sheen in charlie's porn star filled private suite in mexico? mayor suave should stay in more. >> that's right, man. >> we just chilling. >> i love you guys. >> where you going? >> as soon as the game starts talking, mayor villaraigosa ducks away. he turns away. >> wow, that's really -- he didn't want to be on camera. >> i'm posing with the mayor
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right now. >> that's ok, because lots of other people wanted to hang with game or were forced to like this baby. >> people giving you their children. >> people are giving you their children. >> what have we learned? the mayor's afraid of photoops and this baby is now a gang member. >> that's it! >> thanks, way-too-trusting father. >> his name again? >> that guy, he's the game, the rapper. >> game? >> the game, yeah. >> just walk away. >> we got proof, hayden panettiere, and wladimir klitschko are banging again. they were in miami yesterday he's got his arm around her. she's holding his hand. >> she probably tried to be with another guy and physically it probably didn't work out. >> if they ever had a kid, it would break her in half. could you imagine if she had to birth one of his children? >> would the kid necessarily be a large kid? >> size after you're born has nothing to do with size when you're born. i was 11 pounds when i was
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born. look how small i am. >> you were humongous. >> a couple more boot camps and you'll be down to your birth weight. >> fingers crossed. >> do you like hot girls? do you also enjoy sexy guys? then you're in luck because "tmz" presents understanding bisexuality, a.k.a., so you want to bone everyone! starring clive davis. and why clive davis, you ask? one simple reason. >> clive davis is bisexual. >> veteran music producer and the man who discovered whitney houston goes both ways, at least according to his recent appearance on the katie couric show. >> you don't have to be only one thing or another. for me, it's the person. >> and we totally support his choice especially after seeing an important film about bisexuality. here's a clip.
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god, tolerance is awesome. but back to clive davis. >> said he didn't have a gay relationship until he was in his 50's. >> he's dividing it up, first 50 and last 50. >> what caused clive's sudden interest in gentlemen? >> when you're that big, you just people. i've always said it. rock stars, whatever, they're every which way. >> it's true. rock stars will bone anyone and anything. on the other hand -- >> that sounds like an excuse to me. >> yeah. >> if you became a rock star, you would just sleep with everybody? >> i don't know. i'm not a rock star. i can't answer that question. >> so you're telling me there's a chance. >> well, either way, we're happy for clive so it is odd that we've never heard anything about this before now. >> never a whisper. >> you don't think of clive davis as a sex pot. >> speak for yourself. you're welcome, men, and also some women. thanks, clive. >> what's up? >> we got snoop dogg and it's
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that time of year again. we ask him about all the girl scout cookies that everyone is -- >> it's this time of year? >> it's that time of year again. >> did you buy your girl scout cookies yet? >> where do they got? >> they got them all over the place. . >> i need to get some. i like the butter ones. >> it's so stupid. they have to sell 20,000 boxes to get an ipad. i looked at the kid and said i will buy you an ipad. >> it's a scam. >> the girl scout organization as a whole is a scam. the dumbest things they do to get patches. no offense, but boy scouts make fires and go in the woods and stuff. it was like, the watch a movie badge or we went to the aquarium badge or -- >> how can a pot head be mad at someone who sells cookies? they're your best friends. >> coming up -- >> did you see the photos of president obama and tiger woods? >> they wanted to keep that under wraps. >> he's an adulterer, which is pretty bad.
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this is my friend diane. she's played by the rules her whole life. but then the rules flew right out the window. having just lost her husband, she stepped up and adopted her three grandkids, while working full time and caring for her brother, eddie, with cerebral palsy. i get the three children up. i walk andrew at eight i drop olivia off at eight thirty. spend a few minutes at emilio's school. i stop at the grocery store, and then i might do some laundry that has to be done. and then i have about five minutes. the baby sitter comes in and then i go to work. i'm not back home again until 11:30 at night. hard as she works, it's still a struggle to keep up with the bills and stay warm at night. when we asked the biggest oil companies to help families in need, only citgo, the people of venezuela, and president hugo chavez responded. thanks to them, citizens energy is able to deliver millions of gallons of fuel to families just like diane's. i'm joe kennedy. if you need help staying warm this winter, call me at 1-877-joe-4-oil.
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it's time to take a load off on the "tmz" hollywood tour bus and get your cardio the easy way, like this steven tyler fan. you can see anyone, like diddy or jane lynch or berry gordy's son. >> i don't like to be around strangers. >> no problem. book a "tmz" custom charter and fill the bus with people you know for your birthdays, family reunions, even corporate events. she's in finance. >> i've seen all your documentaries. you're brilliant. >> that's filmmaker michael moore, best known for has amazingly poignant farting contest. >> how you doing?
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>> he was arriving at l.a.x. yesterday ready to be the ball of laughs he always is. >> obama care has very good things in the bill. >> that guy's hysterical! and speaking of obama. >> did you see the photos of president obama hitting the golf swing with tiger woods? >> no, we didn't, and you know why, because obama wouldn't let the press take any. our president went 18 holes with tiger woods in florida but the press corps were not allowed access to the event and although the white house claims they were going to announce the outing later on, it has cover-up written all over it. see, right there on your screen. >> if you're the president, aren't you conflicted about that? you want to play golf with tiger woods but you can't but you want to. >> he did not commit a crime. >> he's an adulterer. which is pretty bad. >> what if the president really likes cycling and hey, it's me on the bike with lance armstrong. >> lance armstrong violated the law and that's different from tiger woods. >> we all know that obama doesn't have the balls to hang out with lance armstrong. neither does lance, for that matter, but there's one factor we're not considering here.
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>> obama hung out with clinton. >> clinton did it with an intern and tiger woods did it with porn stars. there's different kinds of -- and that one is the one you have to stay the furthest away from. the president can't hang out with the porn star -- >> back to the golf photo cover up thing. >> people have a right to know what's going on. >> and that's why we love you, bud. >> take us out, mike and peter. >> coming up -- >> we have aaron sorkin. >> what is one of your favorite movie lines of all time? >> he has an answer. >> "here's looking at you, kid"? >> no. >> "the bodies just keep coming."
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>> hey, aaron, how you doing? >> we got aaron sorkin leaving chateau marmot, walking by himself. >> you're well known as a fantastic writer. >> very nice of you. >> what is one of your favorite movie lines of all time? >> this is a great question for him because he has one of the lines. he wrote "a few good men," "you can't handle the truth." >> i forgot he did "a few good men." >> he has an answer. immediately on the top of his head. >> "here's looking at you, kid?" >> no. >> "we're going to need a bigger boat." >> that was improv. >> it was improv? >> yeah, it wasn't in the script. >> we're going to need a bigger biotech. >> that's the best line ever? >> "the bodies j
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