[applause] craig: i'm just seeing if you would pack it in before i did, but clearly -- clearly you are just as desperate as i am. my next guest is a very beautiful actress. she stars in "strike back" friday nights on cinemax. please welcome the adorable rhona mitra, everybody! [applause]

craig: rhona! you look lovely. >> thanks, so do you. craig: thank you. i've been swimming a lot. do you like to go swimming? >> i'm not a big fish, actually. i'm more of a cat. craig: you like to go pawing? what makes you cat-like? >> i like to look at it and keep a distance. craig: oh, water. water. yes, i see. >> what were you talking about? craig: the cat thing. i was thinking how does a cat get exercise? but they don't really unless they are killing something. they don't really exercise. >> they play with ball s of vinck string. craig: you seem to have studied these creatures. do you cats? >> no, not anymore. i did. craig: you killed your cat? what happened? >> i ate it. no. craig: did your cat shuffle along? >> you know what?

someone actually took my cat. this is not really that poignant. craig: stole it? >> yeah, his name was jango. he was like a little baby mountain lion. craig: how awful! >> i think he thought he was a super hero. he used to take off at night. the only thing he was missing was a cape. somebody thought he was amazing and so they took him. give him back! craig: i heard that also happened to a rhino recently as well. >> where is the rhino. oh, hello. i like your menagerie. i'm very envious. i like to throw in a petting zoo in my contracts. i like little animals. craig: have you ever ridden horses? >> yes. craig: do you have horse with you? >> look at that one. craig: you put the music on the horse. watch this. >> what happens?

[creepy music] [laughter] craig: all right. that's enough. that's enough. i didn't want to scare you but as you can see, it is not really a friendly horse. >> medication. craig: no. it is, you know, a serial killer. [laughter] dressed as a horse. >> love the eye makeup, though. craig: it rubs the lotion on its skin. [laughter] so listen. tell me about "strike back". can i just -- wow! look at that. is that sapphires? >> it is bedazzlement. craig: oh, right. it is beautiful. it is very, very eye catching. >> it is quite fancy, isn't it? it is fancier than i am. craig: you're fancy. >> i sometimes have moments. craig: aren't you fancy in your own life? >> um, i'm trying to think and make something up that is a really big lie, but no. craig: that's all right. >> when i am home, i suppose.

no, i'm a bit of a hobbit really. craig: really? do you have hairy feet? can i see? do you shave your feet? >> no, i do not! [laughter] craig: i just thought you might shave your feet if you were hobbit-like. >> only the boys do. they are quite proud of their foot fur, the hobbits. craig: i don't know. i'm a griffin dor. i don't know anything about that. [applause] so tell me about the "strike back" show then. do you strike back? >> yes. frequently. craig: is it vigilantes? are you crazy vigilantes that go crazy and wreck the joint? >> no, it is a special ops unit out in different parts of africa which is where we have been filming from the last seven months so i have just come back. craig: from africa? see any rhinos? >> touchy subject. craig: they are endangered. >> yeah, they are. craig: that's why we have a

rhino here. which is not a real rhino. sandra: you -- he saved me. >> did you? god bless. craig: thanks very much. i saved the gay robot skeleton as well. >> god bless you. craig: really? that's less of a god bless you than the rhino saving. >> well, you know. you know. craig: i understand. he can look after himself. >> what the hell, man? >> i like your suit. >> save me from myself? craig: hey so, you're out in africa? where were you filming in africa? >> mozambique, capetown. craig: that sounds like lot of fun. >> although it is hbo and cinemax, it is actually an english production. you brits and the south africans together and you have bedlam, really. it felt like that.

i think i i'm suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder actually as a result of it. it is great good to be back in the america. everything is a little bit more sedated here. craig: man, you have had a rough time. >> until you turn on cnn. craig: well, things are all right. i like mesh. do you live center hp >> i reside here. craig: near los angeles? >> yeah. craig: do you go to that big supermarket in west hollywood? >> actually i feel like i'm in mordor. this is east of where -- i usually live west. craig: as said, i'm a gryffindor. i don't know what you're talking about. occasionally that -- over there give massachusetts whomp. -- me a whomp. do you want an apple? >> what will happen if it eat

it? craig: why don't you eat it and find out. craig: rhona mitra. we'll be right back. >> how the hell did they get a track on you? >> i don't know. they could have got one of you, michael. >> we sweep this place every day. we are clean. michael, you need to rest. >> that's not true. we need to find his men and take them all auto. >> i will decide who the target is and when you are fit for duty. >> yes, ma'am. >> it come be to build a bomb. we need to find out exactly what he is planning and shove it down fast. [ dollar ] that's me -- l50858544p. but i'm not just a number. i have a purpose -- a higher purpose. [ muffled ] have some respect!

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[ male announcer ] pringles... bursting with more flavor. [ crunch! ] [applause] craig: ♪ welcome back, everybody. my next guest is a very funny comedian. thank goodness! [laughter] because up until now, eh. [laughter] he is appearing at the comedy underground in tacoma, washington september 14 and 15.

please welcome brooks mcbeth, everybody! brooks mcbeth! [applause] >> thank you. thank you. i just got a brand new vote for obama sticker. i didn't really ask for it. [laughter] i just bought a prius. [applause] thank you. i recently worked with another comedian and after every joke he told, he would go i don't care who you are. that's funny right there. i don't care who you are. that's funny right there. whatever he does . i love the fact that he gets to just tell people what to think. i would love to have that power but in real life. like after sex. be like, i don't care who you

are, that was the biggest penis you ever seen right there. [laughter] i don't care who you are, you had eight or gasms. i got her done! [laughter] all of my friends are having kids right now, but they are having kids and then giving them names that have way too much pressure for the child. like they go, this is my son, awesomeness! and goliath and destiny and craig ferguson. [laughter] [applause] it's -- it's too much pressure. i went to high school with a girl named joy who was on anti-depressants. [laughter] yeah.

i have a cousin named abel who recollects hasn't worked in a year. it is too much -- who hasn't worked in a year. it is too much pressure. if i ever steal a kid of my own, i am going to give him a name that has no pressure whatsoever. adequate. this is my son, adequate mcbeth. he is going for his g.e.d. and we're all pretty indifferent about it. yeah. if it is a girl, i could call her par. or satisfactory. like i don't want any pressure for my kid whatsoever. i will drive around and have a bumper sticker on the back of my car that says my child goes to school. [applause] thank you. thank you.

and that's the thing. tds like kids now, they have so much technology. it is crazy. like if you're a young boy and you like a girl, you can just take a picture of your junk and then send it to her romantically. [laughter] ok. i didn't have that. i remember like if i liked a girl, i would have to trace out my junk on a piece of paper and then like hand it to her in class and that doesn't go over real well when you're home schooled. [applause] thank you very much. you guys are awesome. [applause] thank you, craig. craig: we'll be right back.

>> what did he western on the show tonight, craig? craig: i'll tell you what i learned. with the help of sandra, i learned that geoff has bony ass. [laughter] right, sandra? sandra: yes, he does. craig: yes, he does. you got a bony ass, geoff. geoff: yes, i do. craig: see , when you turn your head like that from where i'm standing, it is like one of them pictures of one of them girls

from them red carpet premieres. like this. [laughter] yeah, like that. can you do that, sandra? there you are. [laughter] i think we all learned something. we'll see you tomorrow, everybody.