>> dave: our first gust a funny man starring in rules of engagement in its 7th season, you can see it mondays on cbs. ladies and gentlemen, here is david spade, david. (applause)

>> welcome back. >> nice to have you here, how you have been? >> i'm good. last time i was here i forgot to tell you congratulations. 20 years on the show you did, 20 years on the air. >> yeah. >> dave: that was the last time you were here. >> yeah, i think was. >> dave: thanks, i appreciate it. good job. good to have you here. yeah, i have a lot of photos here. these are memory lane photos. >> oh, yeah, yeah. >> dave: should i show the photos or do you want to tell the story. >> i'll start. >> dave: okay. >> this is me. >> dave: you in high school, to give you an idea what kind of guy you were. >> okay. when i was in first grade, we're going to back it up a bit. >> dave: i don't know if we have that kind of time but go ahead. >> no, i was-- i was in-- i

was smart when i grew up, this is ace shocker. i was sort of like no friends, smart, first through 8th grade. i was in math and reading and the chets club which was not the panty dropper i thought it would be. which was unfortunate. and i keep going. and then when i got to high school, i had no friends but my brother was cool in high school. and so all the school's merged. and then i was suddenly school by association. that's where i really lit up. >> dave: you were the cool guy's brother. >> yes, which helped me because all the guys at my cool were going wait, no, he is a geek, i nerd, you don't understand. but it was too late. it was already over. i was cool. and i was skateboard, i had long hair, it was all kind of happening for me. and then i turned on my old math friends and said hey, losers, why don't you go do some flash karxd come on new friends, let's hit the assembly. and over to the calf torium.

so we did that and then i got to high school and it was goingish, you know, it wasn't great because i wasn't my brother, i was just a knockoff. but it went good enough, but i-- hi pretty friends but i was like the buddy. i was the pam and they told me how horrible their boyfriends are, i don't realize until later they love that. but i was trying to oh my god, understanding. but what happened was the one i liked for three years and i asked her to the prom. >> dave: good. >> and i was scared and she go she dates college guise, loser. and gi, no, i'm going to try anyway. so i ask her, she says yes. good start. >> dave: yeah. >> so i get the tux, the limo, all my money from busing, i spend it all on this night. it's by the way it's 111 degree, i pick her up-- at night. and ding dong. ding dong, nothing, and then i hear vrrrrooooh, a camara

pults up with van hall enand i see like rocks fly in my face. because it's all gravel drive waste, it's arizona, you know. and then i peak over the fence, college dude making out with her, like just french french french. and i am like-- that was the sweat. but i was also cryingment and so i see her and then she is like later, babe. kiss, kiss and then i knew he did construction, made $10 an hour. i knew there was no chance for me. but he comes around, she comes around the corner and was like oh my god, that's tonight. i go-- yes, it's tonight. my courseage, like-- so she goes give me two seconds. i-- i'll find a dress, take a shower. >> i said dress, you should be shopping for months like

j-lo for this thing. anyway we get to sizzler, blah, blah, didn't go well. >> dave: is this the picture right here. >> that is it. >> dave: is this the name of a cactus. >> it was my high school, dave, arizona. >> dave: okay. >> look at that. >> dave: good looking couple. >> she was great. i still have that blazer. everything-- everything-- she's sort of faking it there. push in, oh, no. oh, the kid's cute, right. >> dave: beautiful. >> all right, too long, i feel horrible. >> dave: dow keep in touch. >> sort of, i saw her at a sports bar near my home. she says oh, you look great, i said too late. >> dave: you look a little like a young marv albert. >> yes, that's what he had in mind. >> okay. then i wanted to go to college. >> why not, good grades. >> i thought-- well, what

happened, i was smart until 8th grade and when-- when you get to high school, that's when they count. and i didn't-- no one told me this. so i was sort of skating on being like this little smartie and then i sort of had a social life now so i blew it off and gi to my counseloring, senior year, she goes what colleges are you thinking of. i go princeton and i'm thinking of uc santa barbara but i'm not sold on it and she goes if i pull some strings i pite get you into the community college across the street. >> dave: if i pull some strings. >> and if i use everything in my power. and i go but i'm smart. she goes there's no proof of that right now. (applause) yeah. >> so what happened, where did you go? >> well, i have 8 credits in anthropology and i might pick up the other 160 i need to graduate this summer.

i didn't do well. i went -- >> you went to the community college. >> yeah, but then all my friends are gone so what i would do was horrible. i would go back to hawaii school and sit on the wall. hey, what's up. what's going on, guys, and they're like aren't you supposed-- yeah, that's a drag over there. guys, this is where it's at. and they go remember when the college guys used to come sit on the wall. and i go, those losers? >> you have done pretty well for a guy without a higher education. >> yeah. >> dave: do you ever think maybe you would like to resurrect that path in your life? >> which one was that. >> dave: going to college. >> oh no, no, those. no, no, no. >> dave: you can go on-line. they have these universities where you don't even need to leave your home. >> believe me, i am home all day and those commercials are, you know, maybe i should go to the devry, they say it's not too late. because i get brain washed. they go are you home right now. i go yeah, laying around with weed on the table and

i-- want to change all that. >> no. no. i don't do that, no, i don't. there's no weed,s that what is a joke. >> dave: now listen, this rules of engagement, holy cow, this is your 7th season. >> i know. >> dave: that's remarkable. >> yeah. >> dave: well, good for you. earlier tonight. >> i'm promoting tonight's show that was on three hours ago. >> dave: we've already seen it and enjoyed it. you can see it next monday at 8:30 right here on cb is. here he is, david spade, ladies and gentlemen. >> all right. >> dave: nice to see you, dave. all right. >> thank you,. >> dave: we'll be back with kenney licklitter, everybody. (applause) s [ designer ] enough of just covering up my moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. i decided enough is enough. ♪ [ spa lady ] i started enbrel. it's clinically proven to provide clearer skin. [ rv guy ] enbrel may not work for everyone -- and may not clear you completely,

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>> dave: thank you very much. you know what we did, because it was president's day, we really wanted to do what we could to honorer our presidents, not just lincoln and washington. i said let's really go nuts and make this a regular president's day show. and i said is there like somewhere, a presidential historical society in the area. let's just start there. so we came up with the place called the martin van burren historical society in tinterhook new york, and they said we're so happy you called. we have one of those auto ma tomorrowic-- atomic powered automatlons, whatever they're called, presidential par tin van burren. we'll let you borrow him for the show. and we'll learn all about president martin van burren. is he-- bring the thing up an let's see here. there he is right there. what do they call those down in the disney, the talking

presidents,ed animatlonics, press the button. >> hello, i'm martin van buren one of the key founders of the modern day democratic party. >> dave: that's cool. >> i'm not the president who died in the bathtub. i had four children, abraham, john, martin and kanye. (laughter) i don't appreciate being confused with mar jovan pine els. -- peebles, this martin van burren interactive exhibit is aed toman production. >> dave: well, that's just odd. >> in 1837 i became the first president to win a people's choice award. in 1837 i became the first president to win a people's choice award. >> are we done s that it. >> paul: that su a malfunction. >> dave: apparently we're

done. >> i don't appreciate being confused with mario van peebles. >> dave: we get it well, we tried anyway. ladies and gentlemen, when we come back, kenny licklitter will be here, ladies and gentlemen. so come on back. [ woman ] i take one prevacid 24 hr for frequent heartburn and coffee is coffee, a quick bite is a quick bite, and play time is play time, because for 24 hours my heartburn is lights out. prevent acid for 24 hours with prevacid 24 hour. in the middle of the night it can be frustrating. it's hard to turn off and go back to sleep. intermezzo is the first and only prescription sleep aid

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>> dave: let's see, this is just for me, raise the thing. i want to check in, we got this from the martin van burren historical society in-- now wait a minute, he is there? he's not, did they send the whole display or just the thing. >> no, we had the statue before. >> it's not a statue o paul. that's a mistake a lot of people make. it's not a wax museum it was

an audio atomic powered an ma tron. >> well now it's nothing. >> did they take it back, where is it? >> nothing there. with. >> oh, for god's sakes. >> oh. okay, back to kinder hook. ladies and gentlemen, our next guests is the owner a canine facility specializing in the training of military and police dogs and star of national geo series alpha dogs, here's kenney licklitter. kenny, come on out. >> come on. >> come here. here. sit, sit. what kind of dog is that, kenny.

>> called a bellian malmoif. i. >> dave: i have not heard of that dog, tell us about that breed. >> i tell you what, they first came to the united states in '82. we brought them in with the military. they're just little fast pock oat rockets with a lot of drive, a lot of muscle. >> this the kind of dog like we heard when the seal team went in for the osama bin laden team that they took a dog with them. is this the kind of dog that went with them. >> absolutely. >> did you have anything to do with that animal. >> not with that animal. >> and so now what are you training s this an attack dog? is there a secret word where if you say -- >> careful. >> if you say like oprah the dog goes-- crazy or-- (applause) >> she's absolutely taught to attack but the dogs we train now are very social. you know, with special forces they've got to be able to jump in and out of helicopters, 6, 8 man teams so these dogs are used to be being around table. >> highly intelligent.

>> i have a dog and he seems to be consumed by his olfactory system. >> uh-huh. >> he is driven mad by it. is that the way all dogs are? >> not all dogs, dave, but they all have that great olfactory system. they have this nose, we take advantages of, bombs, drugs, cad after. but yes, some dogs have higher drives than others. >> and give us an example company. they smell thing --00 yard away, how many different smells can they determine. what is the mechanism. >> one of the things is people talk about there are 10,000, 100,000. i done think there's any true number but some of the things we have seen them do from hundreds and hundreds of yards away will just amaze you. >> yeah. >> and my dog killed a deer. >> was that good? >> well, i don't know. i am still-- i done know if the law was broken or not. but -- >> in the state of indiana

you cannot hunt deer with dogs so if you were in indianaing yeah. >> dave: but is that unusual for an animal and he is just a little bit bigger than-- what is in dog's name. >> daisy. >> dave: just a little bigger is that unusual for a dog to chase after a full grown doe and kill it? >> it's natural for a dog to chase animals. you know, they are prey animals, they're carn vors but when you get one that will actually go out and do the deed, that's a little unusual. >> dave: that's something special. >> you got a good one, buddy. you got a special one. >> dave: now tell us what you train these animals to do. tell us how you train them. how do you do that? because dogs want jobs, done they? >> they want to work. >> dave: they do. >> they do, unlike us. they want to work. they've got drives. when we go to buy dogs, we buy most in europe and we look for activity drive, prey, hunt drive, things that we know we can then switch over, associate and get them to work.

>> how do you do that? >> it's real complicated. watch this dog's eyes when i pull this out of my pocket. >> dave: whoa, whoa, he's chomping. >> yeah, she's all right, she's all right. >> dave: wow. wow, man now so that is a very high interest object, the tennis ball. >> real technical how we get our dogs to find things. we use old tennis balls. i go and buy dogs that love a tennis ball and we associate it. >> dave: but how do they determine the difference between that and contraband or explosives. if they are always look, for tennis balls, you got to pull them out of dick's sporting goods. >> all right, come on, no, no, hey, over here. >> you know, when we begin the training, it's an associative type training.

we take out the tennis ball and associate it with whatever we want them to learn, the drugs, the bombs, the cadaver smell, we pair it up and one of the easiest hardest things you do is get the dogs in to understand that if he finds this odor he gets this tennis ball. not complicated. just takes some patience. >> dave: what are we go fog do here tonight. and by the way, any cadaver smell could be just a show. all right. now what do we have in here? >> this is a suedor explosive odor. >> i'm going to put this in my coat. will the dog kill me? >> no, you're to the going to put it in your coat. you have to set a protocol. >> hide it in one of the boxes. >> dave: bring out the boxes. >> oh, hey i will go hide it in one of the boxes. >> yes, you or biff or somebody. >> dave: i will hide it, i can show it to daisy. >> you don't want to cheat, daisy.

>> don't cheat. >> dave: any box. >> well, you could but we use those so one of them is marked explosive, she can't read. if you put it in the one, the farthest one. >> dave: so i in the one marked explosives. >> i think you're going to-- which one, huh? okay, right here? there's already something in there. >> thank you. >> paul: give him the tennis ball. >> dave: okay, now, i'm going to put back, oh, what

if i-- can i put it in its next box, kenny. >> if you do, there is already odd odor in the box you just pulled it out of. >> dave: you're telling me, whooo. okay i will put it back here in the box marked explosives. all right, now what i do. >> i don't care, dave. you can-- (laughter) (applause) >> dave: that's no attitude, is it? is this a real guy? all right, so now how does daisy get over there? >> i will take her over. >> dave: oh, i don't care. >> hey, hey, hey. dow want to go find it? want to go find it. okay, go, go -- >> box number one, nothing, box number two nothing, number three nothing. huh-uh. >> she will stay there all day. that's how she indicates there is an explosive device

and is waiting for me to throw this she will wait all day long for me to did that. oh, get t get it good girl, yes, come on. come on. (applause) >> dave: now, may i touch daisy. >> you can play with her, she's extremely social. >> dave: nice dog. >> you can pet her. >> dave: now can i take the other explosive odor packet and put it in a different box. i know you don't care but what will happen. >> or i could hide her eyes and you could play a shell game. >> dave: i don't know how to do that. >> you don't know how to do that. >> dave: i would rather just put another one in the thing and see if daisy can go over there. >> okay, okay. (applause) >> good girl, yes. nowadaysee you're not supposed to make me look bad here, right? >> i condition even get it in the damn box.

all right, daisy, come on. there's something over here, explosive. >> dave: come on, daisy. >> do they make good pets. >> she's a wonderful dog. she could lay on the couch, be with you all day, a great dog, ready,. >> dave: nothing in there. >> she's going to go back to the one that she knows is there. >> dave: daisy. >> try it again. awe! >> sit, daisy, that's a good girl. that's my baby! whooo! >> dave: there, kenny licklitter, nice meeting you, thank you for bringing your doggiest in here. that's a girl. that's sdasy.

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