there is a look, alan ladd was a very well-known actor when he was young he went into a bar after a day'sting and all ask, what diduld you do today? and he said i think i did a really good look, i did a good reaction and he didn't mean it he didn't mean it facetiously, sometimes you can do that and there are several moments in films where i think i don't know that i could have done that any better than that time and sometimes on stage i think, well, boy -- but then i let it go, i just let it go out the window. >> you talk about a conversation i think with marlon brando in which he basically turned down a role that you took which was playing young william shakespeare, right. >> uh-huh. >> and you, brando said, i don't want to do this because i want to go be a movie actor, right. >> a movie star. >> movie star, more important. more interesting. did you ever say that i want, most of all, because of my looks, because of my talent to be a movie star? >> no. >> you never did? >> no. because i wanted something -- i wanted something so much more unattainable and painful and difficult in my growin