i wish i had me a brain like alfred kramer. - who's alfred kramer? - he's the smartest boy in my class. he passes every test like it was nothing. - well, that's it! - what's it, ma'am? - well, we'll get alfred kramer to change his name to brian mcafee, then brian mcafee will pass and you'll be safe. - how? - i'll call him up and ask him to come on over. - i think that that is a brilliant idea, mrs. burns, to change his name to mine? - you did say he was smarter than you. - oh, yes ma'am. - oh, well then we'll wait until he gets here and let him figure it out. - yeah, that can do. he's a genius. he used to be a child prodigy. - oh, that young, huh? what's his phone number? - here it is, ma'am. kreiger, kramer. - only gracie can think of an idea like that, and only someone with a brain like brian would think it would work. pass his test? that boy probably gets lost passing his classroom. but, i guess there is pressure on anybody when they take any kind of test. the only test i've ever passed in my life was my driving test, and to do that i had to cheat

- i'm mildred foster, alfred kramer's girl. - oh, you're the lap he sat on, come on in. - i told alfred to meet me here, but i'm a little early. i have a problem. - well, she certainly came to the right place, didn't she blanche? i'm mrs. morton. - hello. - [blanche] hello. - [gracie] now, what's your problem? - well, you made alfred take his glasses off, and then you got him to put them on again, and now i want you to get him to take them off again. - why? - when alfred phoned me and told me he was wearing glasses, i knew i was in trouble. he's never really seen me! - but you're a very attractive-looking girl! - certainly! - i'm not! i'm plain and ordinary and drab. - well, look at blanche. (audience laughs) - [blanche] huh? - she felt the same way when she was your age, but look at her now. alfred's crazy about her, he sat in her lap, too. (audience laughs) - yep. (doorbell rings) - that must be alfred... - oh, well, now, don't worry. i'll get his glasses off again. (gracie and alfred laughing) (audience laughs) - well, alfred, i've got news for you. this morning glasses were in and n