you know it's funny it's like when i was twenty two well let me put it this way alice miller talks about these things called enlightened witnesses and she says really the main difference between a kid who is abused who sort of turns out ok or one who turns into just another abuser that's going to repeat the pattern the one difference is something that alice miller calls an enlightened witness and it's just a person that happens to be around that shows shows caring and shows you just by their attention that you're valuable and so that was what i was lucky enough to get i was twenty two and i was dumped by this girl and i had been using drugs and alcohol for years and years and years and i was finally sort of broken enough to ask for help and i met this woman who is a spiritual counselor and she started teaching me. lessons but really she was teaching me over time that i was valuable and so you ask like what is the solution and a lot of people have been asking me that they're like sam you know why don't you kind of come up with a big policy solution or why aren't you in congress and the an