scott, of course, was the enslaved plaintiff in the supreme court case that found african americanafrican america, which the white man was bound to respect, which, coincidentally, is also the city motto of ferguson, missouri. just like the dred scott decision, these gay marriage cases will inevitably lead to a civil war. and i've taken the liberty to predict what it will be like to remember that war in my new landmark documentary, "the gay civil war." jimmy. ( applause ) jimmy, let's-- ( cheers ) jimmy, let's break hearts. my dearest sara, indications are that we will soon move out against our vast and fabulous enemy. i do believe in our cause. as jefferson himself said, "it's adam and eve, not adam and steve. and i loves me the brown sugar. though death may come, i'm willing to lay down my life to make sure lesbians can't register at bed, bath, & beyond." sarah, my love for you is depthless. it binds me with mighty cables that nothing but omnipotence could break-- or if two dudes get married. in that case, i am out of here, because ick. and yes, and yes-- ( cheers and applause ) and, yes, we ant