and filling in for andy levy is dutch def metal drummer, lars. his first album was recorded in a storage container at the bottom of a river. the first 100lp's come with an actual authentic ear lobe. and fema considers him a disaster area, my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if riding talent was a spin class groups of people would do hill every morning at the gym. his latest, greatest book, "nightmare city." it sounds like a date with me. comes out november 5th, 5th, 5th. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. time to talk, america. >> i don't know why i still keep him on the job. all right, is there -- is their spoof further proof? hollywood loves obama. and now funny or die has teamed up with the nation's finest celebrities in a campaign to get young people to enroll in the obamacare exchange that opens on tuesday. one of the video's stars, jennifer hudson in a parity of scandal. it is hilarious. jay in a cut throat world of dc. >> we have a bit of a scandal. >> she takes seemingly impossible scandals and makes them go poof. >> this i

bill shultz, andy levy. nick and me.nks for watching. >>> tonight on huckabee. >> denying military death benefits. >> putting military families, war which dose in the cross-hairs of a political shutdown someone should be fired. >> national park rangers using scare tactics to deny paying customers access. >> you can feel the element of fear. >> as washington plays political games, real americans are left to deal with the real consequences. >>> and is health insurance went up to $10,000. he says obama care raped her future. real americans how the affordable care act is make life unaffordable.

and filling in for andy levy, andy levy. i am sick of it too and glad he didn't wear a a shirt. and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if hilarity was salsa he would come on a fajita. >> welcome to black eye. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. [inaudible]. >> all right. should the stand still help their treadmill? two house democrats are calling for the congressional gym to be closed until the crisis is over. you know what that means. it is day whatever of -- >> shutdown. >> bill foster and patrick murphy, if that's their real name say they should not have access while police go without pay and children are turned away from head start and veterans wonder figure their benefits will come. so the gym may be open for now, but it doesn't mean the shirtless for coz of the per -- shirtless torsos of the are without towels. without janitors look what happened to the locker room bathroom. >> wow. that came out of somebody's ass. >> wow. wow. >> do i have more stuff to talk about? >> i think you said enough, sir. >> meanwhile, seven days into the shutdown the u.s. army ord

i'm here with patty ann browne and filling in for andy levy is his brother ace levy. he's responsible for more leaks than julian assange. it's my side kick bill schultz. his hair once landed a 747. sitting next to me is nick gillespie. look at the hair. has our rate of hate reached a new state. a poll shows americans are tired of business as usual. sounds like the name of a band. what's your name, "business as usual." 60% of us say every single member of congress, including our own representative should be beaten to a pulp and thrown off a cliff. i mean fired. that's the highest ever figure since lindsay lohan. this is backed up by a new poll shows that 60% believe democrats and republicans are doing a bad job that a third party is needed. let's check in with our watching correspondent, stunt squirrel mike. ♪ >> that added nothing to the discussion. is it good to hear people hate government or big government? >> are you talking to me or my hair? >> you. >> it's a long term trend. people say this is just happening now. this same basic trend has been around for 40 years

and filling in for andy levy is dutch def metal drummer, lars. his first album was recorded in a storage container at the bottom of a river. the first 100lp's come with an actual authentic ear lobe. and fema considers him a disaster area, my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if riding talent was a spin class groups of people would do hill every morning at the gym. his latest, greatest book, "nightmare city." it sounds like a date with me. comes out november 5th, 5th, 5th. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. time to talk, america. >> i don't know why i still keep him on the job. all right, is there -- is their spoof further proof? hollywood loves obama. and now funny or die has teamed up with the nation's finest celebrities in a campaign to get young people to enroll in the obamacare exchange that opens on tuesday. one of the video's stars, jennifer hudson in a parity of scandal. it is hilarious. jay in a cut throat world of dc. >> we have a bit of a scandal. >> she takes seemingly impossible scandals and makes them go poof. >> this i

not great. >> and a bureaucratic andy levy. andy, don't all the problems confirm what conservatives said about why the government should stay out of health care? >> still trying to figure out what that meant. >> that mercant that you're a failure. >> ah. that's fair, then. >> worthless. >> almost as if the government doesn't nope what the hell it's doing. came as a shock to me, a libertarian. i never expected it. you don't test a system that's supposed to service millions of people until a week before you release it? you were saying, 55 different organizations in charge of building the infrastructure, and one of the problems is they named as the system's integrator, a government agency. the medicaid and medicare service, instead of a tech company which might actually know something about all the systems put together and that led to them knoll being able to test it until a week before and insurance company, having prop. mutual of ohio said one customer successfully signed up for three of its plans. most can't sign up for one. who

and andy levy, hiding behind something. and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz and mike baker, former cia operative and current president of diligence, fine makers of diligence shower caps, french onion dip and nose rings. for all of your shower cap, french onion dip and nose rings. diligence, when we make eye contact, the bullet is already in your brain. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. [inaudible] >> thanks. >>> should we put an end to spying on a friend? president obama, if that's his real name, may ban eavesdropping on leaders of allies in response over outrage over targeting angela mer ce l's cell phone. the move which the white house hasn't confirmed would signal a major shift at the nsa. a german official told the new york times, quote, if we want to return to a relationship based on trust, it will require serious effort. he said this while laying naked under a glass coffee table. don't know what they are into over there. u.s. officials said the white house okayed spying on allies which contradicts what

and i am here with my roommate , tv's andy levy. give it up for andy levy. no clapping. and my spiritual leader, bill schulz. and standing next to me tom shillue. thomas? >> there is no applause. >> i have applause in my head. >> his cd is called "impossible." he signed none of them. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> guess not. >> should every teen get screened? a northern new jersey district is considering a proposal to conduct random drug tests on students who participate in extra curricular activities. supporters point to the rising use of drugs among high school students in the area, especially heroin and opiates. i think opi is a full name on "the andy griffith show." the school board president notes heroin is cheaper than a six pack of beer now. bill, let's make a note. not all parents are convinced with one mom saying, quote, we are talking about the school involving themselves in behaviors of students outside the school which is not their province. mind your business. i cite the juarez example. do you know what that is? think about a 5* regular, bo

and filling in for andy levy is his fill philanthropist uncle, wellington levey. he donated $100 million to a box of salamanders that he promptly ate. the world's richest salamanders. his hepititis cheated on him with tommy lee, my sidekick, bill schulz. and if hilarity was a new drum set i would pound him in my garage. david angelo. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. sorry, dude. [inaudible]. >> thanks. shy should -- >>> should her job be in doubt because she freaked out? an eighth grade teacher at a louisiana middle school has been fired after a student recorded her obscenity-filled rant that was five minutes in loopy length. i must warn you. what the teacher says is profane. if there are any children in the room tell them to get the [bleep] out. >> [bleep]. >> i don't blame her, all of those kids with the blurry faces. how annoying. says the mom of the boy who smart phoned the the whole thing, i don't talk to my child like that. she has to handle the kids accordingly like send them to the principal's office. none of them deserve to be cursed at like

and filling in for andy levy is the bike messenger. he once road to brussels and back to pick up a pocket square for king albert the second. and he uses his own arm pit to make soup. my resols -- my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and -- sitting next to me best selling author eric and his latest book is called "7 men." that sounded like last weekend and the secret of their greatness. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. who is with me? >> half of america. the twerk nie g twit is now an outfit. it is the most popular costumes of the year. the red-nailed foam finger look is the current fave. rejoice, america. and in other miley news, after the pop tart compared her wrecking ball video to shaw neighed o'connor's "nothing compares to you" she decided to write an open letter to the 20-year-old and it wasn't pretty. i think we know what this means. >> anyway. i am pleased to announce that fox business' lou dobbs who was a huge hannah montana fan will read the excerpt of the letter to miley. >> none of the men ogling you give an exp

thanks to joanne, bill, tv's andy levy and penn jaw -- penn gillette.t time. >>> congress wrapping up a big day on capitol hill today. in the hot seat, a woman some are calling the most hated woman in america, kathleen sebelius grilled on the hill today. her testimony was distracted and at times arrogant. to some she seemed tee didn't want to be there but it was this that caught our attention. remember, when you take the stand in congress, you raise your right hand and swear to tell the truth. >> the website has never crashed. it is functional but at a very slow speed and very low reliability and has continued to function. >> that caught the attention of texas congressman pete olson who drilled holes through that claim just moments later. listen.

and filling in for andy levy is his younger, better looking cousin, jake levey. jake finished shooting a center fold for abs magazine, annual 12-pack issue. jake claims to be straight. and even ticks refuse 20* bite him. it is my sidekick, bill schulz. i guess jesse joyce is styling you now. if hilarity was lottery winnings i would blow him on a ferrari. next to me, joe devito. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. wait, they actually let this guy host? >> yes. he is saying nope to public dope. recreational mark marge use may be legal -- marijuana use may be legal in colorado, but denver's mayor doesn't want to see you or smell you smoking. it michael hancock introduced an ordinance that would make it illegal to light up in city, pas or private property where it is seen or smelled. it could be subject to a $999 fine. that's silly. you could also have a year in jail. which sounds like fun. similar laws exist for glue, but they say making it illegal for people to fire up bongs on their own porch is going too far. mayor hancock says, quote, marijuana is one

also on the show, tv's andy levy looking just like tv's andy levy. >> where is my book? >> bland. >> and bill schulz, still alive and rob long, tv writer and producer and the co-founder of the great website ricochet.com. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. hey, greg, i cherish you. >> waiting for something else but okay. they put the kabosh on a car wash. a high school cheerleading team, is there any other kind and their plan to soap up sedans has been blocked by the san jose environmental services department because it violated water discharge laws. the talented pom-pom girls were hoping to raze money for a championship, but they were left high and dry. explained the manager, quote, anything that is not storm water or rainwater is considered a pollute at the present time. if it goes into a storm drain the pollute tent will harm wildlife in the creek and the water goes directly from the storm drain into our creek. a little lesson for those who don't understand that. for those who don't understand what a cheerleader car wash is this is an example. here is anothe

and i am here with my roommate , tv's andy levy. give it up for andy levy. no clapping. my spiritual leader, bill schulz. and standing next to me tom shillue.

and filling in for andy levy is andy levy. l i am sick of the whole thing too. national institute of it health is developing a vaccine against him. it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if hilarity was salsa he would come on a

and filling in for andy levy, andy levy. i am sick of it too and glad he didn't wear a a shirt. my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if hilarity was salsa he wo

and andy levy. when andy isn't crying himself to sleep he is crying himself to wake up. and he puts the ick in sidekick. my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he has more brains than a medical library. sitting next to me, nationally syndicated radio talk show host dennis prieger. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. do you know a good veterinarian? your pug looks sick. >> finally a compliment. he claims it is not a wreck and that the problem is only tech. president obama, if that's his real name, wants us to separate the law from its biggest flaw, it is day whatever of -- >> obama uh poke lills -- uh poke lills don't care gate. >> on monday he expressed anger at the failure of the website, but he said it didn't mean that obamacare sucks horribly. it only sucks a bunch. and consumers can apply over phone or mail, but can you get your questions answered by real people 24 hours a day in 150 different languages? >> you can get your questions answered by real people 24 hours a day in 150ent from languages. >> yeah, what is the phone number for t centers, and do you

and tv's andy levy is off this evening. nude base jumping instructor, andy hen dribbing son. and zombies dress up as him for halloween. it is bill schulz. and he could kill you

. >> when i was a single man, living like andy levy i thought the same thing.once i got engaged i realize the value of the diamond ring. that is preparing you for marriage. because, marriage is not all about love it is also about finances and everything else. when you get worried and you buy that ring it makes you think i'm making a commitment here. it is more value for guys than it is for women. the bigger hit is when you get the rick back. >> it teaches you about marriage then you should split it. >> that is a good point but i'm telling you it is good for guys to have a a year before you get married. >> to save up. >> interesting perspective. gentlemen thank you so much. and check out charles bring on the way out. that is some bling. >> if you are like me, you probably wonder how do kids grow up so fast? these days they seem to be growing up too fast. coming up tough questions and answers about how we are raising our daughters and what we can do about it. >> plus the new gadget to protect against government snooping. ♪ why do i always feel like i'm in the twi

. >> and tv's andy levy wearing the same sweater i am wearing. kind of odd. you will get a call tomorrow. and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz still alive and next to me the legendary actor kevin sorbo with a code that said kill everyone. his book "chicken soup are to the soul, think positive for the kids" is too nice of a book for" red eye" and comes out october 29th. you better buy it. and his new movie called "storm rider" is now out on dvd. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> every breath you take. every move you make. i will be watching you, greg. >> thank you. >> a twitter troll was yanked from his hole. as first reported by the dailytn animal. white house national security official was canned last week after his bosses discovered he was the person posting mean, weird tweets under the name natsack-wonk. a lot of his venom was aimed at women. here is a sampling. i feel sorry for the husband of jay rubin blogger. he has to have sex with her every five years. his biggest mistake in marying his wife and she put on pounds since her redskin che

and filling in for andy levy is virgil vega. the only to knock somebody out with a stern look of disapproval. he is doing it now. and if insightful

and andy levy, hiding behind something. and my repulsive

and tv's andy levy is off this evening. filling in is my nude base jumping instructor, andy hen dribbing son. and zombies dress up as him for halloween. it is bill schulz. and he could kill you with a gun, a gun made of string. sitting next to me, mike baker, former cia operative and current president of diligence, diligence, maker of diligence handbags, staple guns and diligence coffee mugs. diligence, if you knew what we really did your head would be at the bottom of the ocean. your torso would be in a suitcase in guam and your legs in canada in the belly of an elk. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> hi greg, wait, sorry, man. >> okay. does breaching -- preaching peace not work if you are a jerk? according to new research, anti-bullying programs have an opposite effect. a university of texas criminologist looked at data from all 50 states, 50 states, mike! >> we have 50 states? >> and they found students at schools with anti-bullying programs are more likely to become victims of wet willies where kids who hav

and filling in for andy levy is his fill philanthropist uncle, wellington levey.donated $100 million to a

and filling in for andy levy is virgil vega. he is the only to knock somebody out with a stern look of disapproval. he is doing it now. and if insightful commentary were bingo older folks would do him while siping coffee, author, political commentator and brigthbeirt editor-in-chief. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. people call me white webster by hyped the tiny back. >> i am going to ignore it disembodied voice. can games like tag end in a body bag? no, but one long island school is not taking chances. a middle school in port jefferson, new york have banned footballs, baseballs and soccer balls. i am okay with that. they will allow nerfs that are softer like these children will soon be. and rough games of tag and cart wheels will require supervision from a teacher said the superintendent, quote, some of the injuries can become unintentionally serious so we want to make sure our children are having fun, but also protected. some are ignoring the ban. i believe we have tape. >> come on jack. >> those are some of the u

and andy levy who is made of discarded gum wrappers. and we are figments of his imagination, it is bill schulz. and sitting next to me gavin mcguinness with street carnage.com. it is now available in paperback. >> a block. the lede. that's the stories -- that's the first story. do you think they are treat like us, greg? i think so too. >> i think that's the last day we will do intros. >> done. >> maybe outros? >> the end of the show? >> that's a great idea. >> coming up -- >> they chose the bros. a new obamacare ad campaign is casting a line to the american broheim. day whatever of -- >> obama apocolytpo gate. >> the group thanks obamacare has released seferlt ads -- several them to sign up for bro-surance. not having health insurance is craze yes, sir -- cazier. my girlfriend broke my heart so me and the bros went golfing and the buddy broke my head. good thing my mom made sure i got insurance. young men are key as they pay are to the higher cost of older, sick you are people. ask the bros what they thought about obamacare. >> they don

and filling in for andy levy is his younger, better looking cousin, jake levey.e finished shooting a center fold for abs magazine, annual 12-pack issue. jake claims to be straight. and even ticks refuse 20* bite him. it is my sidekick, bill schulz. i guess jesse joyce is styling

and filling in for andy levy is henreick van beckenbower.em remember anything before 1987 and so we are limiting our stories

i'm here with patty ann browne and filling in for andy levy is his brother ace levy.

bill schulz, tv's andy levy, it was a fast show i must say.hink it has to do with the host who keeps things rolling. a good natured guy that greg gutfeld. es. they're only hanging out with you because you're rich. good day. >> hello everyone. i'm andrea along with bob, dana, greg. it's 5:00 in new york city. this is the five. >>> well pay big night here on the five as one of our very favorites dr. charles will join us in a bit. stoik around for that. first the if anything ere pointing over obama care's disastrous roll out reached capitol hill as four website contractors were grilled over the failures of the signature legislation. we'll get to the hearing in a minute. first, bob a week a ago you said the white ho

and filling in for andy levy is henreick van beckenbower. he cannotem remember anything before 1987 and so we are limiting our stories to after 1987 and between 1992. raves. my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. awe look. and if hilarity was an air horn hundreds of people would blow him at a soccer game. sitting next to me is a comedian, andrew schulz, family member of bill schulz, yikes. >> the lede. that's the first story. ps, i'm sorry. >> that's nice. you are related to bill? >> i am. cousins. >> i'm sorry. >> we can tell you more about it. >> i don't want to hear anything. i want to go to the next story, it is just sad. sad news out of pennsylvania, an actual state, thanks to the government shutdown a planned ku klux klan rally has been halted. don't like the shirt i'm wearing. the rally was set to take place this saturday at gettysburg national military park, but officials had to tell the sheet freaks the shutdown meant all special events were canceled. that's the first story in our coverage of -- >> shutdown [bleep]. >> i found this shi

and andy levy's younger cousin jake levey. he just shot a center fold foy for the abs magazine.n ticks refuse to bite him. my repulsive sidekick, bill m schulz. i guess jesse joy

and filling in for andy levy, mick mar teen. he holds a record for spotting whales and a greater record for being miserable and alone. and we had initter vengeses to get him to do more drugs. it is my sidekick, bill schulz. you know him as the guy who opened for that guy who opened for that other guy who once opened by byron allen in 1998. it is writer and comedian, i guess, paul mecurio. join the tens of fans who check out his pod cast oi -- on itunes. guess what it is called? it is the paul mecurio show. >> that's a good picture of me. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. you put the it in you hot. >> thank you. a pop star drift needed a lift. on monday, a day of the week, justin bieber visited the great wall of china, in china pab, and was crushed to find the 2,000-year-old photo op didn't have an escalator so the pint sized pimp did what any playa would do, he perched his caboose on the shoulders of his bodyguards and ordered them upward. there was video of the biebs skating down a chinese road with his bodyguards g

and andy levy. he is made of twine and discarded gum wrappers. he has been in a coma for 7 years and we are figments of his imagination. bill schulz. and i would do

and tv's andy levy. invented sodium. patent and lives at home and died three years ago, the bacteria and larvae

. >> and tv's andy levy wearing the same sweater i am wearing. kind of odd.l get a call tomorrow. and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz still alive and next to me the legendary actor kevin sorbo with a code that said kill evyo

and filling in for andy levy, mick mar teen. holds a record for spotting whales and a greater record for being miserable and alone. and we had initter vengeses to get him to do more drugs. it is my sidekick, bill schulz. you know him as the guy who opened for that guy who opened for

and andy levy who is made of discarded gum wrappers.figments of his imagination, it is bill schulz.

and filling in for andy levy is former munich circus stuntman.an unfortunate incident with an elephant years ago he cannot remember anything before 1987 so we are limiting our stories to

and filling in for andy levy is dutch def metal drummer, lars.um was recorded in a storage container at the bottom of a river. the first 100lp's come with an actual authentic ear lobe. and fema considers him a disaster area, my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if riding talent was a spin class groups of people would do hil

and filling in for andy levy is the bike messenger.e road to brussels and back to pick up a pocket square for king albert the second. and he uses his own arm pit to make soup. my resols -- my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz.