anhammad shahab lost his partner. fourth day in a row without going home, i went then, returned home,would become too emotional, you know how mothers get after their sons are away for a while phone me to say he was coming to my home, i went to the balcony to watch for him, but he said he couldn't see. from the opposite lane because he was coming from our sabra neighborhood, so he said he is now in the street, and i told him i saw him and ended the call. i was going downstairs, my mother was there and she commented that she had not seen me in a while and that she missed me. i was touched and moved back to kiss her hands and head, and i was about to hold my brother's hand. prayers, we sat with my cousins and few unkles next to a press vehicle, وقفتت هان عندكم وقفت اللي هو to pick up hatim selme, a journalist who was upstairs. i moved to the next and they two were dead, then another and another, i wanted to work my way through those that died so that i may find someone alive to rescue, the injured i could help, the driver was nowhere to be found. the car was unrecognizable, the explosion