meet there is a big but then you are left because of the culture and traditions we hear winton's anya ok so the wedding day is just the tip of the iceberg but before that there's dollar we that needs to be paid there are all these ceremonies that we talked about and it's just a let me come back to you the simple answer for me would be well don't show up for your friends contributions or contribute what you can why have weddings a toll if you can't afford it and if it puts people in debt yeah it's indeed a challenge because if you want to show up to someone's waiting people and show up when yours it's also the issue that your parents all the relatives would want to show off to the france because they have been contributing to others in the end of the day even the contribution that comes you won't even enjoy that money yet because they get you they will come to eat their money and if they've contributed a 100 so then in they come their food is not good for their complaint for any of us so you are getting nothing out of that money but at the end of the day you have lived with that so let me