. [♪♪♪] [ashlee cunsolo] how are we not doubled over in pain a-at everything?mate change, at the loss, at what we know is coming? that balance, i think, is what so many of us are struggling with. how do we be open to the pain, but how do we not let it crumble us to the ground and just throw our hands up and say, "well, it's too late, it's too awful, it's over"? we can't do that, because it's not over. but it is going to be a period of grief without end. so, somehow, we have to make peace with the grief, but not just give up. [♪♪♪] [water bubbling] [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪] [loon cries in the distance] [veron] in my younger days, i was thinking about the future, and "wow, i'm gonna make a great life for myself." for me. for me. it's me, yeah, i was thinking that. always me. i really only woke up to that when the worst happened. [thunder rolls] [rain pattering on roof] i was at a coral workshop in hong kong and had a phone call that my, uh, daughter was dead. she drowned, playing in a creek, um... and... uh, i've never got over that. i lost something that was