school was difficult for me because i suffer with a bit of mild autism, asperger ‘s which was a blessing. but when my mother discovered that i could make sculptures, i had made a house for ants because my dog destroyed an ants' nest. when my mother saw that, she was so overwhelmed with disbelief that she said to me that ifi disbelief that she said to me that if i made them smaller, my name would get bigger. she said i would get bigger by going smaller. she said, you can't read or write very well, but this is what you're going to do. make it a bad habit and now it's your way of life. you had a fantastic word to describe it when you were on a couple of hours ago. somebody tweeted and said, i have had what is called a learning difficulty all my life, and i hated it. but a learning difference is what you called. and the person said, that is brilliant. i am so happy to hear you put it that way. and that must have helped you in terms of the discipline you need. give me some insight into what physically happens? you can slow down your heart and you are using an eyelash... paint a picture for me