and music from augustana.etones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, that reminds me, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, cleto. hi, everyone, i'm gjimmy, i'm te host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being here on a very big day for our nation today. big news, as president obama finally broke down and showed everyone his birth certificate. and you're not going to believe this. it turns out he was born in hawaii, of all places. isn't that weird? this is what we've apparently been waiting for. i have to say, some of it seems fishy. can we zoom into the honolulu? that's made up. that's not a place. the president was born barack hussein obama ii. he's a junior. i didn't know that. and his mother, look at his mother's name. her first name is stanley. for real. excuse me, mr. president, but women are not named stanley. not in the america i love, anyway. how did we not know his mother's name was stanley? no wonder she rebelled and had a kenyan baby, it's -- [

and for the musically inclined, we'll have music from alter bridge, robbie robertson, augustana and theeek. you know our first guest tonight from h oscar-winning role in "inglorious gas terlds" and from a long list of foreign films none of us have seen. you can see him alongsid reese witherspoon and an elephant in "water for elephants." it opens in this heeaters tomor. please say hello to christoph waltz. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: because i'm looking at it right now, are you particular with marshmallow peeps. do you have those -- >> with what? >> jimmy: with the big -- the candies we have -- >> i am not. >> jimmy: oh, well, you'll love them. they are delicious. yeah, we're going to have to send you home with a basket. last time you were here, you just won the academy awad right across the street from us. [ cheers and applause ] >> maybe there's a correlation. >> jimmy: maybe you will go home with a mexican in a marshmallow tonight. an award of a different sort. >> questioyes. >> jimmy: do you remember much from that night? >> no. it's one general fog that i feel very nostalgic a

then, later this week, sofia vergara, jaimie alexander, manny pacquiao, larry king, and music from augustanae airborne toxic event. it doesn't make people feel good when you say aw. our first guest tonight is an unusually funny man, whom you know from his years on sctv and "saturday night live," and from many films and television programs of note. without him, there would have only been two amigos. for instance. on friday, you can hear his voice in 3d in the new movie "hoodwinked too! hood vs. evil." please say hello to martin short. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: something -- >> give me your hand again. someone ate a hot dog. >> jimmy: my easter basket was filled with them. the little vienna ones. you have to fish them out of the then, you know. >> yeah, the little wiener ones, yeah. happy easter -- boxing easter we call it. >> jimmy: boxing, is that right, is that a canadian thing? >> by the way, this is not something a man usually says to another man but you look stunning. >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much. as do you. [ cheers and applause ] >> well, thank you so much. >> jimmy: you al

tomorrow night we'll joined by larry king, from "thor," jaimie alexander, and music from augustana.a vergara, boxer manny pacquiao, and music from the airborne toxic event. so join for those shows, too. our first guest tonight is an oscar-nominated actor whom you know from a number of fine films. he is a future incredible hulk but before that you can see him co-star in a new film he also directed. it's called "sympathy for delicious." it opens in select cities on friday. please say hello to mark ruffalo. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming. >> it's going to be a rough night. they hate me. >> jimmy: is that like a hasselhoff thing. it's going to be a rough night. rouuffal ruffalo. >> we worked on that. >> jimmy: that would be a good t-shirt for you to make >> rough-alo. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. you flew in from new york today. on a farm? >> i live on an old dairy farm. >> reporte >> jimmy: animals there? >> we have a rabbit. >> jimmy: a rabbit, okay. >> that thing they say about rabbits is so much more true. >> jimmy: not if there's only one. >> that doesn't st