tonight -- aziz ansari. mama and honey boo boo. plus music from josh turner. with cleto on the cletones. but now, most of all, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you for coming. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for coming tonight. very exciting. i have to tell you something, i'm glad you're in a good mood because you're here on a very good night. very talented musician, josh turner, is with us tonight. as is the exceptionally funny aziz ansari. [ applause ] and even though it isn't christmas, we will be visited by the little girl known as honey boo boo child tonight. [ cheers and applause ] honey boo boo and her mama june are in the building. they have a show in case you don't know on tlc, discovered on the show "toddlers and tiaras," you know, it's funny. if you told me five years ago i'd be interviewing a 7-year-old beauty pageant contestant and her mother, i would have assumed that my show got canceled and i'd fallen on hard times. that's not it is case. we have fallen on very soft times

aziz ansari is here.female announcer ] welcome back to the charmin 2012 election. [ toilet flushes ] whoo! i promise to be strong on all the bath tissue issues while my opponent is soft. soft? well i can't argue with that one. [ female announcer ] how do you enjoy the go? vote charmin ultra soft. vote charmin ultra strong. either way you can't go wrong. vote today on facebook. either way you can't go wrong. go out tonight - be social! then stay in tomorrow. make a date with your flat screen. olive garden's new dinner today, dinner tomorrow. two dinners for two nights, just $12.95. choose one of five entrees tonight, like new mezzaluna ravioli. served with unlimited soup or salad and breadsticks. then choose a second entrÉe to take home for tomorrow all for just $12.95. this has "movie night" written all over it. new dinner today, dinner tomorrow go before it's gone! go olive garden. ♪ use freedom and get cash back. ♪ack. ♪ five percent at best buy. ♪ wow my definition is high. activate your 5% cash back a

you're helping aziz ansari with his internet addiction? >> that's right.ht. i take him out to experience actually some of the things i mentioned in my tips. >> jimmy: very, very nice. >> take a look. >> jimmy: nick offerman and aziz ansari, in a clip from next week's "parks and rec." check this out. >> wikipedia, mankind's greatest invention. you can learn about anything. take ray-j for example. we all know he's a singer, he's brandy's brother and he was in that classic sex tape with kim kardashian. but did you also know he is snoop dogg's cousin and he was in the '96 tim burton movie "mars attacks"? suddenly, you are on the "mars attacks" page. i love g chat. you can talk to anybody. i hit up brad.pitt, wasn't the actor. it's actually a guy named brad that's is a teacher in pittsburgh. we don't have a lot in common but we chat quite a bit. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] he's really enjoying the experience. nick offerman, everybody! gosh, we're so happy to have you here. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: come back w

. >>> tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- aziz ansari. >> i got mr. ethic. it was all white kids. about the little brown boy that looks like the most adorable piece of carmel ever. >> as of friday morning, lindsay lohan was not ridge stirred to vote. but still registered to

and his friend aziz have traveled around for two weeks during that time they have only come across one young woman who has defied tradition her name is. unlike others in the same situation she didn't cry but try to settle the matter with the bridegroom parents. for this family it will be a disgrace if the bride leaves them but i told them let's not argue you just let me go and that will be it. the doctors were determined to persuade veneer or to stay with them but she refused to give in when she called her. he sent her brothers to bring her back. as soon as i saw them i tossed the scarf away. and then the guy showed up. with tears in his eyes he pleaded with me not to leave him. he said he loved me and so on and i told him then you should have said that to begin with. then your resume to studies of university and found employment but her parents still believe that leaving the family was wrong. they argue that veneer is no twenty four years old and past her prime standards. yes i think that these traditions and stereotypes of ours are just terribly outdated. the two travelers were in fo

sports fan shafiq aziz can't believe it. if they had done that during taliban times, would they have been killed? >> yeah, of course. >> reporter: pleasure and public confidence returned to mingora in part because malala yousafzai led the way in denouncing taliban repression. tonight she's recovering from terrible injuries thousands of miles away while her school friends muster their courage to carry on her fight. elizabeth palmer, cbs news, >> pelley: elizabeth palmer has made her way back from the swat valley to the capital city of islamabad and, liz, i wonder: what's the general reaction in pakistan to this terrible shooting? >> well, the viciousness of the attack has prompted universal outrage from women's groups, from clerics, and certainly from politicians. there have even been some protests. but nothing like the numbers that come out for other causes. for example, to protest against u.s. drone strikes. it may be because the whole subject of girls' education is controversial. it's estimated that only 22% of girls in ru

mauritania military patrol has opened fire on its own president mohammed abdul aziz was returning to the capital after a regional trip when his convoy was hit by bullets authorities say the soldiers did not recognize the president's vehicles as they passed by the shots injured the leader in the arm and since been announced he'll be flown abroad for treatment. libyan armed forces continue to surround the opposition stronghold of bani walid the conflict has already claimed at least ten lives after a series of armed confrontations on the eastern outskirts of the city earlier this week residents have been left without access to bases and basic necessities and are calling for international rescue while at least siege was partially lifted on wednesday allowing the red cross to access the city for the first time since the standoff began leaving are currently ruled by the national journal congress remains unstable ever since last year's uprising resulted in the ousting and death of moammar gadhafi and journalist james corbett believes the conflict exposes the reality of a post gadhafi leave.

the mauritanian military patrol has opened fire on its own president mohammed abdul aziz was returning to the capital after a regional trip when his convoy was hit by bullets authorities say this soldiers did not recognize the president's vehicles as they passed by the shots injured the leader in the arm and he be to try to be treated in hospital. libyan armed forces continue to surround the opposition stronghold of bani walid the place has already claimed at least ten lives after a series of confrontations on the east coast of the city earlier this week residents have been left without basic necessities and are calling point a national rescue well at a seizure was partially lifted on wednesday allowing the red cross to access the city for the first time so the standoff began they were current labeled by their national congress remains unstable ever since last year's uprising resulted in the el sting and death of moammar gadhafi journalist james corbett believes the conflict exposes the reality of. it just goes to show that the deeply divided lines in the country right now tribally eth

i want to thank aziz ansari, alana "honey boo boo" thompson & june "mama" shannon. to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night, don rickles, the latest castoff from "dancing with the stars" and music from miguel. thanks for watching. good night! ♪ just put a little bit of yourself ♪ ♪ in everything you do [ female announcer ] add your own ingredients to hamburger helper for a fresh take on a quick, delicious meal. it's one box with hundreds of possibilities. of green giant vegetables it's easy to eat like a giant... ♪ and feel like a green giant. ♪ ho ho ho ♪ green giant >> it is out there somewhere tonight. experimental plane that went down shortly after taking off from the half moon bay airport and right now an all out search to find it. good evening. carolyn is off tonight. this plane left the airport early this morning and 17 hours later simply nowhere to be found. none of the facts we have at this moment are encouraging. 7 news reporter nick smith live at the half man bay airport tonight with the latest on the search. more dire by the hour. >>reporter: it

the debate with kevin zeese director of the center of the come home america group i should say mr aziz hello there so it was mentioned in the debates that me trami wants to increase u.s. military spending by two trillion dollars so is that necessary do you think no i think the opposite we should be. moving in the direction of cutting our military budget which is one trillion dollars a year that's as much as the whole world combined spends on the military so we can't have the kind of economy military spending that romney is talking about and have a successful economy at home but i think on a broader point this debate showed the american people will not get solutions that probably face from either of these parties when it came to jobs neither one of them talked about really creating jobs that would poured over programs that would create jobs we know what job creation is we've seen it happen before and that impression f.d.r. create all sorts of jobs at the fastest drop in unemployment none of them talked about that nobody talked about regulating the derivative market which is bigger than

the lead shaikh mohammed who has called himself the mastermind of the attacks as well as ali abdul aziz ali moustafa. well lead been a touch and ramzi bin al s'shibh these hearings have been a long time coming and before they truly get underway judges may must first make decisions about the way the hearings might be conducted and what information that is shared will be made public as because prosecutors in the case of ask the u.s. military judge to consider what's known as a protective order in which a forty second delay would be implemented so that if for example information about enhanced interrogation in secret cia prisons is revealed that it could be censored prosecutors cite security as the main reason but journalists and others are fighting back the a.c.l.u. calls this proposal by prosecutors both extraordinary and chilling and it brings up larger questions about truth and transparency in our just justice system and also about potential holes in our nation's history earlier i was joined by colonel morris davis a retired air force attorney and a professor at howard university schoo

don rickles will be here, as will joe mchale, aziz ansari, emily vancamp.ll be joined by true american royalty, honey boo boo and her mom june boo boo will be here. swooer going to try to figure out their lives for them. we'll have music from josh turner, miguel, paul weller and joe walsh. you know our first guest from nine seasons on "the king of queens" and a number of very funny movie. he's a man who looks good in brown shorts. real good. his latest role is that of a biology teacher turned mixed martial artist in the new comedy "here comes the boom." it opens in theaters friday. please say hello to kevin james. [ cheers and applause ] >> woo. thank you. >> jimmy: this way people are tivoing through this interview they will still see "here comes the boom" is the name of the movie. >> i will put it out there any way i can. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> doing great. >> jimmy: first of all, i enjoyed the movie. and you are very muscular in the movie, like, i mean, like really, you look really muscular. >> not anymore. i -- the plan was, once i did the movi

we had some problems along bristow road between dumb tariq aziz and lucasville road.ared. rolling road still blobbed off in each direction between pohick road and the fairfax county parkway due to a utility pole and wires down over there. stalled car after route one. that is tying up the right local lane. heads up as you continue into towards oxon hill. now, 66 picking up some volume. we are down to about 43 miles per hour right now leaving manassas headed in towards centerville. that's a check of your fox 5 on-timetraffic. on-timetraffic. >>> today, maryland state police are debuting the first of their new medevac helicopters. the demeanor says the new helicopters are needed to replace the aging old fleet that they have. ten of the 11 helicopters are more than two decades old actually total of 10 new choppers will be bought and continue to be used to transport trauma patients and aid and search and rescue efforts. >>> talk about man's best friend. this dog decided he didn't like it when his owner john had to say in the hospital for a few days. the dog wandered from h

aziz. it's crazy. melissa: here is a good one. 33 percent of people will consider buying a haunted house. one-third said they needed discounts of up to 20% on the price in order toake the purchase worth it. would you guys want the haunted house? >> a couple who said they would pay more. there were people who wanted to do this. i say let's go. >> i actually bought on to the house. the house with poltergeist senate. middle treks. melissa: there you go. talk about uncertainty. when it comes to business and the economy, tom sullivan was to be sure you know what it means. >> uncertainty is the buzzword this week, and in survey after survey of big and small business is the word keeps popping up. forget about business. what about you? has it dawned on you that you don't know what your take-home pay will be in just two months? yes, we go over the fiscal cllif on january 1st, and your payroll tax laws umpire, your withholding will go up due to the bush tax cuts aspiring for everyone. the president regardless of the election will still be p

aziz said the congressional races getting some attention as well. democratic caller. caller: mr. hubbard, who chose ashley mosier? so many people around this country are being shot. a lot of young kids, teenagers. why is no one talking about gun violence? not just about guns, but why are we treating people so bad? why are we planning to be on afghanistan for two more years? young people come back from afghanistan and we are the spending all this money, poverty everywhere. the guy who wins in the theater and shot it up, the university near he was kind of crazy and we are a better country than the situation we are in. you have a good day. there are people out there who are depending on a real review of where the country is going. host: curtis hubbard. guest: you mentioned a really sorry tragedy for us, july 20th s, the gunmen in the theater in aurora. he killed 12 people and injured 58 at the midnight showing at the premiere of batman. there was a discussion in the days after that about what can the nation and colorado do as far as the gun laws. we on the editorial board at "denver

aziz said the congressional races getting some attention as well. democratic caller. caller: mr. hubbard, who chose ashley mosier? so many people around this country are being shot. a lot of young kids, teenagers. why is no one talking about gun violence? not just about guns, but why are we treating people so bad? why are we planning to be on afghanistan for two more years? young people come back from afghanistan and we are the spending all this money, poverty everywhere. the guy who wins in the theater and shot it up, the university near he was kind of crazy and we are a better country than the situation we are in. you have a good day. there are people out there who are depending on a real review of where the country is going. host: curtis hubbard. guest: you mentioned a really sorry tragedy for us, july 20th s, the gunmen in the theater in aurora. he killed 12 people and injured 58 at the midnight showing at the premiere of batman. there was a discussion in the days after that about what can the nation and colorado do as far as the gun laws. we on the editorial board at "denver

aziz said the congressional races getting some attention as well. democratic caller. caller: mr., who chose ashley mosier? so many people around this country are being shot. a lot of young kids, teenagers. why is no one talking about gun violence? not just about guns, but why are we treating people so bad? why are we planning to be on afghanistan for two more years? young people come back from afghanistan and we are the spending all this money, poverty everywhere. the guy who wins in the theater and shot it up, the university near he was kind of crazy and we are a better country than the situation we are in. you have a good day. there are people out there who are depending on a real review of where the country is going. host: curtis hubbard. guest: you mentioned a really sorry tragedy for us, july 20th s, the gunmen in the theater in aurora. he killed 12 people and injured 58 at the midnight showing at the premiere of batman. there was a discussion in the days after that about what can the nation and colorado do as far as the gun laws. we on the editorial board at "denver post,"

was a speechwriter and somebody who helped him write books, including his informal memoir, memoirs, aziz, as somebody who re-created for me, and i, we try to capture that in "going home to glory," the amphion surround our office in gettysburg in the 1960's. people were sitting around and enjoying a quiet morning over coffee and so forth antonette period rusty period rusty brown and dr. mccann picked up a lot of things that delight eisenhower did conversationally and one of the comments they made that really stayed with me and i reproduced it was his highest praise for anybody was to call you able and what he was trying to do was to deflate the language. he felt that everything was being inflated in the 1960's, our notions of drama on the national level. in fact, a very telling book, a very searching an interesting book on the year 1968 by a trio reddish writers entitled american melodrama. what eisenhower is trying to do and i think he was doing this is as president as well, was to restore a sense of proportion and so being very able. i want to add something to what doctors miss that abo

was a speechwriter and somebody who helped him write books, including his informal memoir, memoirs, aziz, as somebody who re-created for me, and i, we try to capture that in "going home to glory," the amphion surround our office in gettysburg in the 1960's. people were sitting around and enjoying a quiet morning over coffee and so forth antonette period rusty period rusty brown and dr. mccann picked up a lot of things that delight eisenhower did conversationally and one of the comments they made that really stayed with me and i reproduced it was his highest praise for anybody was to call you able and what he was trying to do was to deflate the language. he felt that everything was being inflated in the 1960's, our notions of drama on the national level. in fact, a very telling book, a very searching an interesting book on the year 1968 by a trio reddish writers entitled american melodrama. what eisenhower is trying to do and i think he was doing this is as president as well, was to restore a sense of proportion and so being very able. i want to add something to what doctors miss that abo