. - no, ba-ba-ba-ba. oh, you're not done. - si. - yes. - si. - yes. - oh, si. - oh, yes. - yes! yes, yes, yes. - whoo! - oh, adam, i accidentally took your turn when you were in the bathroom, but you can take mine.

we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ba ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ♪ba-ba-ba ♪turn up the lights in hereextra bright, i want ya'll to see this♪ ♪turn up the lights in here, baby...♪ ♪you know what i mean, want to see everything...♪ ♪want you to see all of the lights!♪ ♪ ♪okay, okay, you know we going all the way this time.♪ let's go! let's go! let's feast! gatorade bars. never let hunger get in the way of your game. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ give extra. get extra. they said it was impossible to have great-tboom.g light beer. award-winning heineken light, brewed with cascade hops. they also said it was impossible to hypnotize you. you're getting sleepy... watch the beer! ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "daily show." my guest tonight is the washington investigation's editor for the "new york times" and author of "the way of the knife." please welcome mark mazzetti. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: what a time to be alive, especially as part of the failing "new york times." >> sad. >> trevor: sad, sad. is that like your slogan now in the office,

♪ i would understand [cheers and applause] ♪ i would understand ♪ba♪ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ♪turn up the lightsbaby...♪ ♪extra bright, i want ya'll to see this♪ ♪turn up the lights in here, baby...♪ ♪you know what i mean, want to see everything...♪ ♪want you to see all of the lights!♪ ♪ ♪okay, okay, you know we going all the way this time.♪ let's go! let's go! let's feast! gatorade bars. never let hunger get in the way of your game. (alien humming) fruit by the foot fun what's on the end of yours? dearthere's no other way to say this. it's over. i've found a permanent escape from monotony. together, we are perfectly balanced, our senses awake, our hearts racing as one. i know this is sudden, but they say: if you love something... set it free. see you around, giulia ♪ - ♪ you gotta - ♪ gotta be fresh [cheering] - thank you. - [crying] - oh, my god. uncle mike are you okay? - i get micromanaged at work. i can't figure out the stupid computer system. i get no respect. - that sucks. where do you work? - hertz. - you work at hertz rent a car? - no, i said, "it hurts." i work at budget. the other day

(screaming) man, i'm lovin' it® ♪ ba da ba ba ba if you're gonna make an entrance.... can you repeat that? edible arrangements for kelly. thank you! edible arrangements. worth bragging about. stop in or order online this valentine's day. customer service!d. ma'am. this isn't a computer... wait. you're real? with discover card, you can talk to a real person in the u.s., like me, anytime. wow. this is a recording. really? no, i'm kidding. 100% u.s.-based customer service. here to help, not to sell. latches onto youry finger so hard, it's like she's saying i love you. that's why aveeno's oat formula is designed for your baby's sensitive skin. aveeno®. naturally beautiful babies. only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. they release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. tylenol® >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. zach galifianakis and music from norah jones is on the way. over the years we've seen creative ways of smuggling drugs into this country but this is a new one. border agents in texas seized nearly 4,000 pounds of marijuana. imagine 4,000 pounds

(screaming) man, i'm lovin' it® ♪ ba da ba ba ba if you're gonna make an entrance.... can you repeat that? edible arrangements for kelly. thank you! edible arrangements. worth bragging about. stop in or order online this valentine's day. customer service!d. ma'am. this isn't a computer... discover card, you can talk to a real person in the u.s., like me, anytime. wow. this is a recording. really? no, i'm kidding. 100% u.s.-based customer service. here to help, not to sell. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. zach galifianakis and music from norah jones is on the way. over the years we've seen creative ways of smuggling drugs into this country but this is a new one. border agents in texas seized nearly 4,000 pounds of marijuana. imagine 4,000 pounds of marijuana. it was packed into little balls disguised as limes. this is what the decoy limes looked like. the limes were valued at almost $800,000. at least that's how much willie nelson offered to pay for them. it is one of the biggest hauls ever for the border patrol. tonight i hear the agents celeb

♪ ba da ba ba ba pain from a headache can when make this...old, feel like this.brand. tylenol® moto. it's time to re-imagine the smart phone. snap on a speaker. a projector. a camera that actually zooms. get excited world. the moto z with motomods. get 50% off on moto z droid. you guys ever try one of these bars made over at right twix? why? our special cookie is cascaded with caramel and cloaked in chocolate. you never wondered? [ whoosh! zap! ] [ glass breaks ] aah! [ male announcer ] try both. pick a side. twix. [ male announcer ] try both. (vo) do not go gentle into that good night, old age should burn and rave at close of day; rage, rage against the dying of the light. do not go gentle into that good night. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: rob lowe, dave salomon fee. we just gave the audience a warning, everybody's told to clap quietly or you'll be killed. those that get out of your chair, you'll be killed. don't move or you'lling killed. a lot of potential for mayhem and death. >> there's no potential for mayhem and death. >> jimmy: just a little bit. >> like anything you

ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪ to be the same with you is love fully realized ♪ when i look in your eyes i'm noton't you hug ♪ me? i tried and i tried ♪ on my life on my life to get you to see ♪ baby, i guess you're just not the one for me ♪ i want to be with you when my strength is tested ♪ when i'm not invested i haven't digested ♪ what i said when all my sweetness went away ♪ and i could taste the darkness all of my life ♪ waiting for someone finding their waves ♪ pulsate and drama loving in ocean ♪ loving emotion ♪ baby, why won't you love me? sugar-girl, why won't you hug ♪ me? i tried and i tried ♪ on my life on my life to get you to be with me ♪ baby, i guess you're just not the one for me ♪ i want to prove to you why won't you love me? ♪ i want to prove to you why won't you love me? ♪ i want to prove to you, what i can do prove to you ♪ what i can do yeah, yeah ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: yeah! the lemon twigs everybody!,,,,,, late show." please tune in tomorrow when my guests will be aubrey plaza, bradley whitford, and musical guest lupe fiasco. now stick around for james corden

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♪ ba da ba ba ba (jitemize your deductions forou free. move all your stuff over from turbotax? drag and drop. (writer) wow. that was easy. (jon) right? (vo) h&r block more zero lets you file online for free, even if you itemize deductions. (jon vo) get your taxes won. it's your tv, take it with you. with directv and at&t, stream live tv anywhere data-free. join directv today starting at $35 a month. no extra monthly fees. you may be muddling through allergies.oned with... try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. and zyrtec® is different than claritin®. because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. try zyrtec®. muddle no more®. what are you doing up? mom said i could have a midnight snack. it's not even midnight, it's ten forty-three. well, let's have a ten forty-three snack. quietly, though. okay. yeah. mmmm. shhhh. hey i'll share my yoplait custard if you share your yoplait dippers? deal. deal. mmmm. the family favorite. yoplait. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello there, welcome back to the show. vigo mortensen,

♪ ba da ba ba ba (jitemize your deductions forou free. move all your uff over from turbotax? drag and drop. (writer) wow. that was easy. (jon) right? (vo) h&r block more zero lets you file online for free, even if you itemize deductions. (jon vo) get your taxes won. it's your tv, take it with you. with directv and at&t, stream live tv anywhere data-free. join directv today starting at $35 a month. no extra monthly fees. you may be muddling through allergies. try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. and zyrtec® is different than claritin®. because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. try zyrtec®. muddle no more®. and with the billion pointme!!! giveaway, it's about to get more awesome. to claim your share of a billion ad the shop your way or kmart app today!!! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello there, welcome back to the show. vigo mortensen, charlie weber and music from bj, the chicago kid is on the way. sunday is the super bowl. the patriots play the falcons in houston, texas.

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. - no, ba-ba-ba-ba. oh, you're not done. - si. - yes. - si. - yes. - oh, si. - oh, yes. - yes!- whoo! - oh, adam, i accidentally took your turn when you were in the bathroom, but you can take mine. - great, i'd be happy to add to your...37. - uh...sorry. - no problem, audrey. i was working on a turkey, but thanks for the two-pin contribution. - hey, why don't, uh, we take a break? we'll have a little time-out and i'll get us some drinks. - oh, i'll help. - all right, audrey has said nothing about our anniversary and it's too late for her to throw anything together. it's go time. - all right, what are you gonna do? - when she comes back, i'm gonna grab a ball... - mm-hmm. - gonna bowl a strike... - not with that follow-through. - then i'll turn around and i'm gonna say, "happy anniversary." this is gonna be my shining moment as a husband. my moment of triumph. - happy anniversary. - what the-- - happy anniversary, honey. - you remembered? - of course. - what? just now? you ran and you grabbed a bowling alley cake is what you did? - [chuckles] no. this came from that bakery that

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♪ ba da ba ba ba not to be focusingo finaon my moderatepe. to severe chronic plaque psoriasis.a specific source of inflammation that contributes to my symptoms. in clinical trials, most adults taking humira were clear or almost clear, and many saw 75% and even 90% clearance in just 4 months. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. ask about humira, the #1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists. clearer skin is possible. all right? how do you become america's best-selling brand? ooohhh yeah. keep breathing. keep breathing. im breating, let's go. you make it protective. can you go a little fas

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. ♪ ba da ba ba ba ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a really talented actressie "personal shopper" opens in select theaters march 10th. she's also hosting "saturday night live" this weekend with musical guest alessia cara. please welcome back to the show, our pal kristen stewart! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. >> thank you. >> jimmy: kristen you look gorgeous. welcome back to the show. you're wearing your winter outfit. your winter gear. >> it's safe. >> jimmy: you're getting cold outside. groundhog day. says, nope, summer's here man. >> no, but like i'm emanating such heat this week because we're getting ready for all the snl stuff. i think like -- >> jimmy: that's what it is. >> you can probably feel within five feet of me. >> jimmy: you do feel warm. >> ah! >> jimmy: but you always said that -- when we talked about "saturday night live," you're like, i don't know if i would ever do it. i don't know, man. and then i was like, well you should. you'd be great. >> yeah, for six years i've just been being like a total wuss about it. and then i

(screaming) man, i'm lovin' it® ♪ ba da ba ba ba hambone! sally! 22! hut hut!rber running a barber shop? yes!!! surprising. yes!!! what's not surprising? how much money david saved by switching to geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. who's next? hey, need fast try cool mint zantac. it releases a cooling sensation in your mouth and throat. zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. nexium can take 24 hours. try cool mint zantac. no pill relieves heartburn faster. dude. your crunching's scaring the fish. dude. they're just jealous. new kellogg's raisin bran crunch with crunchy clusters and the taste of apples and strawberries. (excited) i got one! (jokingly) guess we're having cereal for dinner. new kellogg's raisin bran crunch apple strawberry i wanti did my ancestrydna and where i came from. and i couldn't wait to get my pie chart. the most shocking result was that i'm 26% native american. i had no idea. just to know this is what i'm made of, this is where my ancestors came from. and i absolutely want to know more about my native america

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captioning sponsored by cbs ba-ba-ba.t> >> uh. uh. uh. ah! oh! oh! >> oooh! okay, thanks, good question. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes allison williams cush jumbo and comedian carmen lynch. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert!