order to help us unpack it we have to say it benefits in the grand scheme of things, whiteman and backman don't really have the same -- black men don't really have the same, we do share the benefit of manhood but the way we enact the benefit comes from different places. i'm really grateful for you contextualized in the fact that yes, my father, who you love, was an alcoholic and violent, but he also was a kid who was traumatized and what that looks like if it is not dealt with, as you know, crosshairs for the people that he loves. >> that's right. chris just an important thing. i'm saying it because it needs to be said aloud. >> this is one of the biggest difference i've seen in the 20 years since speak came out. and by the way, is 1/20 anniversary edition. so this, wonderful, wonderful man, who is my friend, i was just so touched that you're willing to do this. and like he was -- i really kind of pushed you, thanks buddy. i owe you. jason wrote an afterword in this edition and you have to have it because it starts out, dear young brother. and he addresses the boys who read the book from