alternatively if you need to show that it's in the 50s with a chance of rain, change a car tire with a bartlett pearokay. but if it's over 60 degrees and cloudy there is no way to say that except by beating a raccoon to death with a pineapple. all right? like that. dow like that? a little rough stuff. little rough stuff. any temperature higher than that, fruit won't work. you're going to want to use deli meats, all right. and audience can only understand that it's 95 degrees if you buff out a scratched quarter panel with a honey baked ham. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight is a former soldier whose new novel is radiance of tomorrow. the kir sum friends of tomorrow divided by two times pi of tomorrow. please welcome ishmael beah. >> thank you for coming on. all right, all right, may i call you ishmael. >> yes. >> thank you very much. >> thank you very much. now you from age 13 to 16 were a child soldier, correct? >> yes, i was. >> okay, we're up against letterman and conan so, any funny stories. >> there are plenty of funny stores. >> rea