when he says that, i looked towards batiste, i was, like, "hey, uh, batiste, is this cool, or this, this, like, we put our hands up. you know, we backing up our man. >> that's crazy, man. >> meanwhile, i was in the background just giving the brothers the eye wink for assurance, like, this is just... this ain't real, it's just a game. (indistinct). >> okay. >> we barely had time to even think, and who gives oaths to osama bin laden and al-qaeda? that (bleep) is for the movies. this is what we see on tv. it's not-- even if it was real, it wasn't real. 'cause it doesn't happen where we come from. >> once everyone took the oath, elie assaad was instructed to introduce a plot by al-qaeda to blow up five fbi offices, miami being one of them. and that al-qaeda woullike some assistance in doing reconnaissance and surveillance and other things. and then provide a video camera. even though it didn't make sense to me, i was more focused on... batiste. that moment, i felt betrayed. i felt betrayed. and, and honestly, that was the one time i should not have hold my composure, because that time, i rea

featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey! whoo! come on, man! ( cheering ) ( audience chanting ) stephen! stephen!st >> stephen: hey! how are ya? ( chanting ) thank you, everybody! thank you so much! welcome! please! please have a seat, everybody! thank you so much up there! high and away! everybody down here, please! please, have a seat. welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the "late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: ( clears throat ) so, how you been? ( laughter ) it's great to be back. we never-- we never really left, but we certainly weren't here. this is a slightly different energy than the converted storage room eight floors above us. ( cheers and applause ) as beautiful as that was, as lovely as that was. ( applause ) i have not been on this stage in front of a live audience for 460 days. ( audience reacts ) i don't know

♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: jon batiste and "stay human," everybody!use ) jon -- >> jon: yes. >> stephen: in just a minute, jon, have you watched the show "hacks." >> jon: hannah was on our show before covid. >> stephen: exactly. one to have the star of "hacks," hannah einbinder, is going to be on here in a moment. if you haven't seen "hacks," it's a fantastic show. i know we have to get going, but i was watching "mayor of easttown" and i'm a big gene smart fan. and then somebody said if you like that, you should watch "hacks," because jean smart is in there. i said, who's this hannah einbinder? they said, she's been on your show. >> jon: yeah, she was on the show. >> stephen: that was the only other thing she's done in television is your show. and it was like a week before we we wanted off the ware in 2020. early march of 2020, she was on the show. so i went back and watched and it was great. then i realized, over, i want to talk to her now because she was on the show and i'm very proud that we recognize talent. >> jon: yes. >> stephen: she's talented

featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: what's going on! hello! good to see you again! ( cheers and applause ) oh, yes. oh, yes. it's still new. it's still new. it's still wonderful glaw stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: hey! fantastic! thank you, ladies and gentlemen. thank you very much. please, ladies and gentlemen, welcome, welcome, one and all, to... ( cheers and applause ) it's still exciting. it's still a little exciting. yeah. i-- i kind of still feel the same way. now, welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert, ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ tonight is our second show back, and it is great to be here with all these fully-vaccinated people. ( cheers and applause ) got the covid shot. they feel good. they're immortal. and they are not alone, because today, the state of new york officially announced a 70% vaccination rate. ( cheers and appl

featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey! hey! what a lovely person! thank you for being here. ( cheers and applause ) beautiful! hello, jon! there you go. >> jon: hey! >> stephen: please! have a seat my friends. welcome. welcome one at all, in here, out there, around the world, all the ships at sea. welcome to the "late show." i'm your host stephen colbert, and i am so happy-- ( cheers and applause ) --as are you. what a lovely evening. so happy you could join us tonight for a momentous day in history of some people having way too much money! ( laughter ) because for the second time in nine days, a billionaire took a joy ride into the ionosphere. i'll tell you all about it tonight's-- (echoing) space news! ( cheers and applause ) bezos edition! ( cheers and applause ) today was the big day for amazon founder and terminator sent from the future to be your dentist, jeff bezos. thi

plus, a performance from oscar winner jon batiste! and don't bug out!ut we're cooking and eating cicadas all next on live. ♪ and now here are kelly ripa and ryan seacrest. good morning. hi! well hello, nice to see you. it's monday, good monday morning to you. august 23rd, making our way through summer. so listen to this. a woman lost her wallet in 1979-- 1975 at the movies. i wonder what movie she was-- -that's what i was-- what was she seeing? -okay. more than four decades later, it was finally returned thanks to good people. tom stevens was working at a remodel inside

and comedian wally baram featuring jon batiste and stay ma and now liiive on tape from the ed sullivanheater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! hello! hey. ( cheers and applause ) a little more. >> jon: i get it i get it. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: hey, everybody. thank you so much, please have a seat. welcome tot late show, let me begin by saying happy bastille day for those who don't speak day for those who don't speak ze french, bas deal day is the day the french declared independence from i think france. to celebrate this morning i had a chocolate croissant and a slip of the tongue. over in france they had a lot of trouble getting people vaccinated lately which lead to a new initiative from french president and architect who would love to show you how he designed your bedroom while your husband is out of town, emmanuel macron this week macron week, macron announced expanded use of france's health passport system the pass sanitaire which i believe is also the name of that little spritz toilet they use. pass sanitaire. starting in

featuring jon batiste and "stay human." ( rs andlaus)on tom th ean thea!> stephen: what's going on? i like it! like deem sickles. good to see yawl. ( audience chanting stephen ) >> stephen: hey! thank you, ladies and gentlemen! ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. i just want to -- ( cheers and applause ) well thank you! thank you. you're my favorite kind of people, fully vaccinated and chanting my name. ( cheers and applause ) we've been off for two weeks and i completely unplugged from the news. plugged in again last night, and now i need a vacation. ( laughter ) the news is a little rough. there's a fourth wave of coronavirus, we just got a global warming red alert for humanity, there are wildfires consuming northern california and greece, so naturally there's one question on everyone's mind: did i go to barack obama's birthday party? ( laughter ) ( cheering ) ( applause ) >> jon: i saw. >> stephen: i know. see, this weekend obama turned 60. in just 18 years, he'll be old enough to

plus, stephen welcomes harvey keitel and comedian randall otis featuring jon batiste and stay human.e ed sullivan theater in new york , steolrt! apse ) )use ) >> stephen: there you go. ( cheers and applause ) feeling good? good? feeling good. looking good. i like the hair. >> audience: stephen! stephen! stephen. >> stephen: joe, louis. thanks, everybody. thank you so much! thanks so much, everybody. please, have a seat. welcome, everybody, to the "late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. and i have got-- ( cheers and applause ) folks, i'm going to shoot you straight. i've got good news, and i've got bad news. the bad news is i lied about the good news. and both bads combine to be the worst news: "bill cosby has been released from prison after his sexual assault conviction" was overturned. ( audience booing ) yeah, i agree with you. or to put that another way, me too. ( laughter and applause ) now, no idea. got no idea what's next for cosby. but my guess is he's going to join bill o'reilly and the formerpresident on tour. now, i want to be clear, this isn't an exoneration. cosby i

give it up for jon batiste and stay human. the late night band.w, folks, america is still struggling with this pandemic, but there is a glimmer of hope... if you're wealthy. because "wellness resorts are eyeing long covid treatments as a new moneymaker." one spa in thailand is offering to cake a paste of turmeric, galangal, and kaffir lime on your chest, cover it with an alcohol-doused towel, and set it all on fire, for the low, low price of $3,500. the treatment is an ancient detoxification ritual, and the price is a modern wallet cleanse. you're guaranteed to feel great once your eyebrows grow back. that same spa also offers a program where patients inhale concentrated oxygen in a hyperbaric chamber, practice chest muscle-strengthening exercises in an olympic-grade medical gym, and take travenous blood e transfusions more commonly known as injecting air into your veins. because nothing takes your mind off your long-haul covid like an embolism. and the ultra-weal also book you broadway tickets. a concierge doctor can run up to "$40,000 a year, wi

let's give it up for jon batiste, stay human. thank you jon, delightful.g up in just a minute, jon, you know who is the greatest medical esent on drn la. we've had he's on again tonight. what i like about it t it is nos that he has got a funny name, lapook. >> jon: st a come doe show. >> stephen: it doesn't take anything away from his accomplishments or intelligence or anything like that but when you talk about a heavy subject like covid, every time you say dr. lapook, it say little funny, just a little funny, that helps. >> jon: easy icebreaker. >> stephen: balances things out. folks >> stephen: here in the states, we're dealing with our own shockingly fast surge. experts are now saying that due to the delta variant, the fourth wave of covid-19 in the u.s. could be worse than the third. are you sure there's not more i could talk about in afghanistan? all right, this covid news comes from director of the national institutes of health and infectious disease prop comic, francis collins. yesterday, collins broke down just how bad it could get: >> i will be su

featuring jon batiste and stay human. on tape from the ed sullivan theater in newrkt'ho ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, how are you! hello! the when i move... what's up, john. hey, lois. lois, joan. good to see you! that was great last night, wasn't it? hey! ( cheers and applause ) thank you. very kind. please have a seat. back at you, brother. welcome one and all to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. and i just want to ( cheers and applause ) that's quite pleasant. hello, you beautiful people. i have yet to get over how good it feels to be back in front of a live audience. it feels-- it feels-- ( cheers and applause ) you know, it's-- it's-- the relationship feels so fresh. it's like we've renewed our vows. ready for the honeymoon. you know who's looking to put the spark back in their relationship? the united states and its allies. joe biden is on the eighth and final day of his swing through europe. and he closed his trip out with a face-to-face, tete-a-tete, mono-a-monster with russian president

tonight: plus, stephen welcomes: daniel radcliffe and musical guest dan + shay featuring jon batistetay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: yeah! >> audience: stephen! stephen! stephen! ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. all week-- ( cheers and applause ) if you've been watching the show, you know all week i've been talking about what's going on in afghanistan. it's a comedy gold mine-- in that trying to do jokes about it makes you feel like you're trapped deep underground without enough oxygen. but today, all the news from there is "wait and see." so i, too, am going to wait, and see what else there is to talk about-- you know, lighter news, like the delta variant. ( laughter ) speaking of which, we're getting reinforcements to fight it. today, the biden administration announced booster shots will be offered to americans beginning september 20. of course-- ( rse ) the vax man's her

featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: oh, yeah! this is something different. this is what you want. ( audience chanting stephen ) >> stephen: oh, 1u78ertime crowd. that is fan tavjts welcome to "the late show," ladies and gentlemen, mr. and mrs. america and all the ships at sea, i am your host stephen colbert! >> jon: there he is. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: this crowd is electric and live on this planet tonight! ( cheers and applause ) they want to hear me talk about the big story everyone's talking about now, continues to be the chaos surrounding the recent poorly-handled regime change... over at "jeopardy!" ( laughter ) now, before you say "stephen, the 'late show' is the most prestigious of all the late night chuckle-fests-- what are you doing talking about the game show 'jeopardy!' and who will host it?", i have one thing to say to you: i don't know. ( laughter ) all i know is, the m

musical guest big red machine, with a special appearance by president barack obama, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: hey! how you doing? i got it in my head now, i'm thinking about it! ( laughter ) hello! hey, everybody! welcome! welcome, ladies and gentlemen! please, have a seat, everybody! welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. and it is -- ( cheers and applause ) ♪ it's a beautiful day here in new york. it's 85 degrees, with 75% humidity, and this afternoon andrew cuomo resigned! ( cheers and applause ) don't let the door hit you on the butt on the way out. but if it does, that door should also resign. ( laughter ) for now, cuomo's still governor, because, for reasons i don't understand, cuomo's resignation will take effect in 14 days. evidently, he gave himself two weeks' notice. ( laughter ) the resignation comes after 11 meve aused him ofexual harantg two fingers across the chest of an energy company employee, to grabbing the rea

featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! hey. hey, >> jon: oh! hello! >> stephen: hey there! don't eat spaghetti tonight! >> jon: oh, yeah! not-- not without my bib! >> stephen: hey, good to see you! hello. >> audience: stephen, stephen, stephen! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hello, chris. hello, mark. ladies and gentlemen, welcome, one and all... ( cheers and applause ) ...to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. how-- how's-- how's everybody feeling tonight? ( cheers and applause ) that-- that is because you are vaccinated. ( cheers and applause ) now, among-- looks appealing, doesn't it? among the unvaccinated, covid cases are once again on the rise, due to the highly infectious delta variant. inoculations have slowed dramatically, and less than half of the total u.s. population is fully vaccinated. so if you think of it like a pie, about half of the pie would be vaccinated,

chromebook ( cheers and appelaying ) >> stephen: ladies and gentlemen, "bring it on home" with jon batiste>> jon: yeah! >> stephen: folks-- ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: whoo! >> stephen: unbelievable. i give and i give. best show in town. >> jon: ♪ if you ever change your mind ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. folks, if you know me, you know that i love dogs. i see a lot of myself in them. i'm loyal, kind, and i will do anything for a piece of bacon. and that affinity for dogs is why i love doing my segment: rescue dog rescue, where we help find homes for real rescue puppies. i'm proud to say that so far we have a perfect record of every single dog we've ever featured getting adopted after their appearance on this show. ( cheers and applause ) it's far more successful than our other segment-- anybody want a vulture? ( laughter ) now, throughout the pandemic, there was a surge in people adopting pets. but as more people head back to work, shelters are filling up again. which means it's time for another edition of rescue dog rescue. ( sad piano ) ( wand sparkle ) ( upbeat rock guitar

featuring jon batiste and "stay human."e on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: what's going on? i like it! it's like a creamsicle. good to see y'all. ( audience chanting ) stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: hey! thank you, ladies and gentlemen! ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) welcome, welcome one and all to the "late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. i just want to-- ( cheers and applause ) well, thank you! thank you. you're my favorite kind of people, fully vaccinated and chanting my name. ( cheers and applause ) we have-- two weeks? we've been off for two lovelywed from the news. plugged in again last night, and now i need a vacation. ( laughter ) because the news is a little rough. there's a fourth wave of coronavirus, we just got a global warming red alert for humanity, there are wildfires consuming northern california and greece, so naturally there's one question on eve

featuring jon batiste and stay human.ve on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey. hello. hey. have a seat. >> jon: all day. >> stephen: good to see you. hey! please, have a seat, everybody. thank you so much. welcome, one and all, to the "late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ladies and gentlemen-- i don't know if you saw this, something incredible happened in the u.s. senate. because they passed a $1.2 trillion infrastructure bill. ( cheers and applause ) to put that into perspective: if you took 1.2 trillion $1 bills and laid them end to end, they'd make better roads than what we're driving on now. which why we need the bill. ( applause ) now, something. and this wasn't a 50-50 party line split. the number of senators who voted for the bill was-- 69. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: nice! that bipartisanship is still possible. in fact, 19 republican senators joined every democrat in favor. the last time th

give it up for jon batiste and "stay human," everybody!heers and applause ) jon, in just a few minutes a woman i have been looking to interview for five years, amanda peet, is going to come on. >> jon: oh, my goodness. >> stephen: she came on in the first year of the show. she was one of the early interviews that i went, oh that's how you do it. have fun with your guest. she's been avoiding me for five years is what i'm saying. i hope it goes well. >> jon: i think it's going to go well. >> stephen: i hope she doesn't ask me to slide into anything. ( laughter ) >> jon: hey, hey, hey! >> stephen: after that soccer aficionado and lover of america roger bennett will be here. ( cheers and applause ) but right now, joining us from kabul, afghanistan, is cnn's chief international correspondent, clarissa ward! clarissa, thank you so much for being here. ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you for having me. >> stephen: what time is it in kabul right now? >> it's really, really late, but i am so sleep deprived that i honestly can't even tell you what

nikki batiste, cbs news, philadelphia. >> garrett: up next, the cure for loneliness-- for people and-to-severe eczema why an help al your skin from within. with dupixent adults saw long-lasting, clearer skin and significantly less itch. don't use if you're allergic to dupixent. serious allergic reactions can occur including anaphylaxis, which is severe. tell your doctor about new or worsening eye problems, such as eye pain or vision changes, or a parasitic infection. if you take asthma medicines don't change or stop them without talking to your doctor. talk to your doctor about dupixent. what makes new salonpas arthritis gel so good for arthritis pain? without talking to your doctor. salonpas contains the most prescribed topical pain relief ingredient. it's clinically proven, reduces inflammation and comes in original prescription strength. salonpas. it's good medicine. ♪ we've all felt this gap. the distance between what is, and what could be. while he's tapping into his passion, the s. bank mobile app can help you tap your way to your savings goals. without missing a beat. so, you

plus, stephen welcomes jennifer hudson featuring jon batiste and "stay human."nd now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: i was waiting for y'all to show up! how are you? ( cheers and applause ) ♪ have a good show. have a good show. ( cheering ) please, have a seat, everybody! welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your shows stephen colbert. and i'm -- ( cheers and applause ) you know what? that is -- that is exactly the kind of energy i need because i'm not going to sugar coat it, folks, the news has been a bit rough lately, which has led to some of our newspapers to broaden their marketing strategy. this morning i saw this shocking tweet -- the "new york times" is rolling out 18-plus subscriber-only newsletters. that's right, y'all. adults-only content for 18 and over. it's the "new york times" -- after dark ( sensual music ) ( laughter ) ( applause ) they're slightly changing their masthead: "all the nudes that's fit to print." things are going to get nasty at the old gr

tonight, stephen welcomes amanda peet, roger bennett and cnn's clarissa ward, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) ( audience chanting stephen ) >> stephen: thank you, everybody! please! have a seat. thank you. welcome -- welcome to "the late show." i'm your shows, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) i want to put to rest the rumors i'm a bit of a ladies man. ( laughter ) i don't know where these started. i don't know where these started. folks, it's been three days in the last 24 hours, u.s. allowing evacuation flights to resume. and when they're done there, maybe we could get them to restore order at our airports? because there's a guy duct-taped to a seat in coach screaming about how masks contaminate his sperm. ( laughter ) other than the airport, the taliban control pretty much the entire country, including all the expensive stuff we left there. in their cakewalk to power, the taliban grabbed u.s.-supplied guns, ammuniti

peters off batiste 464 feet. 8-6 texas. that will be your final. 49ers opened the preseason against the chiefs tonight at levi's stadium. we'll see plenty of tray lance. coach excited to see his rookie qb. >> i think he's going to make the team so he doesn't have to freak out about that. he knows ice will be on him. sometimes guys want to make some plays and show everyone what to. always t to tell them it's just like practice except they can hit you. >> they'll hit you in soccer as well. quakes riding a seven game unbeaten streak. new guy. it's a cracker. vancouver keeper got a hand on it, off the post. nobody ends up scoring all night long. it ends nil-nil. quakes' unbeaten streak reaches 8. warrior summer league action in vegas. that's the man everyone wants to see. seventh pick in the draft goes for 18 point. moses moody has 22. summer warriors beat okc 94-84. that's wrap on morning sports. have a great weekend, everybody. i'm larry beil. >> after a long pandemic delay, the first major athletic competition is returning t

we are in the little haiti district of miami, and i want to let you hear from regine batiste, one of the individuals that was in the heart of port-au-prince back in 2010 in the earthquake that took the lives of anywhere from 200,000 to 300,000. as we see this new video today roll in, it is individuals like her that are now just watching from afar. >> what i saw left me jaw drop. i said, what in the world can happen again to haiti. then i just found out that haiti was hit again by a mega earthquake, and it melts my heart because i'm a survivor from the 2010 earthquake. i know how it feels. i know how it is. >> reporter: now, joe, we are distinctly talking about a different part of the island that's been impacted here today from this earthquake. you are looking at that, when you look at the map the southwestern peninsula whereas in 2010 it was port-au-prince, the heart, the capital, in which hundreds of thousands of individuals were displaced from their homes. you are looking at communities in tens of thousands here along that peninsula that were rocked. the number of confirmed dead is

regine batiste who was there in 2010. >> what i saw left me jaw drop. what in the world can happen again to haiti? and then i just found out that haiti was hit again by a mega earthquake, and it melts my heart because i'm a survivor from the 2010 earthquake. i know how it feels. i know hoy it feels. >> reporter: there are big questions in the hours ahead of what a potential u.s. response could be. samantha power, the usaid administrator here under the biden administration, confirming in the last hour that usaid has been tapped by the administration to oversee the coordination of the response. at this time she said that there are already teams that are on the ground here from the united states that are evaluating the exact situation and what potential recourse the u.s. could take in helping throughout this recovery process. in the aftermath of the 2010 earthquake several thousand, more than 7,000 u.s. military personnel were on the ground in the months after that earthquake there. at this point there is no word about any similar response at this time. ag

nikki batiste is here. >> virginia guiffre said the decision to take legal action did not come lightlyshe knows it will subject her to further attacks by prince andrew and surrogaes. in the end she said if she didn't take this step she would be letting down her family and other victims everywhere. in a new lawsuit virginia guiffre seen here standing next to prince andrew alleges she was forced to engage in sexual acts with him on three separate occasions. according to court documents guiffre was given implied threats by jeffrey epstein, ghislaine maxwell and/or prince andrew. she feared death or physical injury to herself and other repercussions for disobeying because of their powerful connections, wealth and authority. david boise is her attorney. >> the fact of the matter is it's overwhelming that prince andrew was with her. you have the testimony of virginia, the testimony of other people, photographic evidence. >> the lawsuit claims andrew knew guiffre was 17 years old but went ahead for the purpose of gratifying his sexual desires. >> for the record, is there any way you could hav