in 1998 when beatrix was born, i said, okay, well, beatrix is fine. she's eight weeks old. and she's got a nanny. and she's perfectly healthy. and she's on bottles now. i want to see my husband. and i went to australia to find him. that's when the press turned on me. that's when they said i was a bad mother. bad fergie sold papers. >> an emotional moment there from your series "finding sarah". i remember all that. i'm part of the british newspaper, became an editor. >> that was one of your -- >> no. i wasn't. i wasn't involved in reporting on that part. but i remember it clearly. because it was the moment you could feel the mood towards you suddenly turn. >> perhaps you're right. >> you were portrayed as a bad mother. and yet when you actually studied the facts, you saw andrew for 40 days in the third year of you marriage. it was ridiculous. because of his naval career. any woman would understand why you were desperate to be with your husband. it wasn't like you abandoned these children. you were coming back in a week or so, whatever. but that experience, when it turned, wh