[chuckling] beavis: yeah, yeah.ut the same size. [chuckling] - he's masturbating. [chuckling] beavis: [chuckling] yeah, he sure is. he's not shy about it either. yeah. [chuckling] - nothing wrong with that. [chuckling] beavis: yeah, i mean, i don't really want to see it, but, you know, i mean, no one wants to see me do it either, you know, so, you know, so go for it, you know? oh, look. [chuckling] tiesto's spanking his monkey too. [chuckling] - tiesto. [chuckling] beavis: yeah, you know, if you can't masturbate to your own music, you know, what's the point? [chuckling] butt-head: yeah. [chuckling] uh, i think this guy's, like, not even a janitor at all. [chuckling] - yeah, he's just a really considerate masturbater, you know? he's like... [chuckling] you know, he brings a mop with him, you know, and a bucket, you know? [chuckling] butt-head: yeah, at the front of the museum, they were like, "sir, you're gonna have to leave that mop and bucket outside." [chuckling] and then he's like, "uh, no, you're gonna thank me.

. - very good, beavis and butt-head, very good.nly the buddha himself was able to completely empty his mind and achieve enlightenment. now, let's begin while i set the mood with these tibetan singing bowls i bought at cost plus world market. [bowl ringing] - okay, clear your mind. clear your mind. - don't think. wait, where did i park? - uh. - huh. hmm. - adam just doesn't get me. - no thoughts. wait, that is a thought. [ringing continues] [ethereal music] - huh? - uh, whoa. i think we, like, left our bodies or something. - oh. cool. my body sucked. - yeah, mine too. it never scored. [chuckles] - um, where are we going? [chuckles] - uh, i don't care. - lil nas x, i sentence you to five years in montero state prison. [gavel bangs] [dramatic music] - daytrip took it to ten. ♪ baby back, ay ♪ ♪ couple racks, ay ♪ [beavis] whoa. you think he smuggled those grammys in inside his butt? [snickers] - uh, yeah. that's why he's cleaning 'em off. everything in prison comes in through your butt. see that guy right there? he's about to pull a l

i got an idea, beavis.h. [chuckles] - [chuckles] [both snicker] - this is gonna be cool. - scoot over. [chuckles] - we're beating the system.

. - beavis, we've heard enough.butt-head? how do we grow tobacco? - uh... whoa, check it out. - whoa, is that a cigarette seed? - it sure is, beavis. we finally learned something from that hippie. [chuckles] - um, i don't think it's growing, butt-head. - that's because it's not on a farm, butthole. it needs, like, dirt and, like, barns and stuff. - oh, yeah, yeah. and, like, a pitchfork or something, or some hay maybe. - whoa, check it out, beavis. more seeds. [both chuckling] - it's good to see two young people cleaning up all the litter around here. there's a receptacle right over there, boys. - whoa, cool. we're gonna be rich. - i can't believe these dumbasses just left these around and didn't know they were seeds. they really suck at farming. - beavis, everybody sucks at everything. [chuckles] - ♪ it'll be a wednesday ♪ ♪ and i'll be going in this coffee shop ♪ ♪ hear the barista call an oat milk latte and your name ♪ ♪ and i look up from my phone and think there's no chance ♪ ♪ it's you, but it is ♪ - uh... - e

. - you see that, beavis? they can tell we're back on the market. - yeah, turn around, butt-head. - it's too soon to get tied down again, beavis. we're good just the way we are. [rock music] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, ronny chieng! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> ronny: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm ronny chieng. we've got a lot to talk about tonight. republicans leave unity on read, the trumps make nepotism great again, and we try to find a reason why j.d. vance won't suck. but let's start things off with the republican national convention in our continuing coverage of "indecision 2024." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] last night was night two of the rnc. and it's been a very unusual convention because someone shot the candidate four days ago. and the media consensus after this was that this week would be about healing. >> the attack on trump has changed the story lin

[chuckles] - wait a second, beavis. we should, like, start being all sad.eah, yeah. sorry about that. won't happen again. [chuckles]

. - very good, beavis and butt-head, very good.the buddha himself was able to completely empty his mind and achieve enlightenment. now, let's begin while i set the mood with these tibetan singing bowls i bought at cost plus world market. [bowl ringing] - okay, clear your mind. clear your mind. - don't think. wait, where did i park? - uh. - huh. hmm. - adam just doesn't get me.

it is sexist when people don't like my left because beavis and butthead have the exact same one and theylot of money off of that much more than me. i would trade labs with her. no way, no, michele, i get e-mails about how annoying my laugh is and i know that. you think is the one i have chosen for myself? i. >> i personally love your left. >> thank you. your very sweet. i think it be easy for me to play my problems with the p. reason people don't like me as they are afraid how funny i am. >> greg: seems like a pathetic opinion. >> every time i've been rejected it's because the man was simply afraid of how funny i am. [ laughter ] i would be much more medically healthy probably. i hate myself. >> greg: those of the articles you see in the new york post or the daily mail. i am so attractive i can't get a date. remember those articles? >> or you laugh when you're supposed to laugh. that's the thing about her laugh. she's laughing when she's not supposed to and it's uncomfortable. >> greg: i have to bring a sexist in here. tom shillue... do you agree with joy? do men have a problem with met

[laughs] - my manager would call me, like, "hey, you got this big bump 'cause you were on 'beavis andse i know and you know and the world knows these guys are, always will be, and cannot be anything but idiots. - that's right. - ♪ duh, duh, duh, duh ♪ ♪ duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh ♪ ♪ duh, duh, duh, duh ♪ ♪ duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh ♪ - mtv has a detrimental, damaging, developmental effect on the sexuality, on the morality, on the spirituality, on the-- maybe even the physical development of our young people. - yeah, yeah! - uhh! uhh! [straining grunts] - now we hit the '90s, and once you can go for an audience of 5 million and have a successful show, you can say, "i don't care if the parents don't like this." - can i tell you something, ms. ellen? - of course, wendy. - don't [bleep] with me! - what? - you heard me! stay away from my man, bitch! or i'll whup your sorry-ho ass back to last year! - trey parker and matt stone were two of the funniest people i ever met. and their success story is proof that if you just stay true to yourself, you don't have to do anything els

it is sexist when people don't like my left because beavis and butthead have the exact same one and theyt of money off of that much more than me. i would trade labs with her. no way, no, michele, i get e-mails about how annoying my laugh is and i know that. you think is the one i have chosen for myself? i. >> i personally love your left. >> thank you. your very sweet. i think it be easy for me to play my problems with the p. reason people don't like me as they are afraid how funny i am. >> greg: seems like a pathetic opinion. >> every time i've been rejected it's because the man was simply afraid of how funny i am. [ laughter ] i would be much more medically healthy probably. i hate myself. >> greg: those of the articles you see in the new york post or the daily mail. i am so attractive i can't get a date. remember those articles? >> or you laugh when you're supposed to laugh. that's the thing about her laugh. she's laughing when she's not supposed to and it's uncomfortable. >> greg: i have to bring a sexist in here. tom shillue... do you agree with joy? do men have a problem with met --

beavis and butthead with that classic clip.at stroke. of course, to those miserable mosquitos. >> dr. natalie azar here with everything we need to know before heading outside on one of those hot summer days. you don't want to end up like beavis, obviously. besides sun block, is there anything else we need to be doing? >> we spend a lot of time talking about how to treat your sunburn. today we will talk about preventing sunburn. it starts with sun block. what you are looking for is something called broad spectrum. that will cover uva as well as uvb rays. you want it to have an spf of at least 30. and it should be what's called water resistant. >> okay. >> nothing is fully waterproof. you want to reapply every two hours and especially after sweating or swimming. you can even reapply more frequently. a lot of people ask sunscreen or insect repellent first. it is always sunscreen first and insect repellant on top. sunscreen is supposed to last about three years. if you look at the date and it is a little passed that or it changes c

debates, these are just two morons, this is power definitely, yes, and rightly so when they said, beaviss happening here on our site, so to speak, well, i don’t know, this is some kind of university academic council, at least, although it seems like no one really even turns on the second speed, as if yes, but still less, but nevertheless, well, it’s obvious, it’s an absolute shame, that’s what so-called democracy led, if it is democracy, which was admired for so long, this is what it led to, remember, for quite a long time? they said, you know, the main thing is to hold elections, democracy will definitely pull out the most worthy from the depths of the people, here are the most worthy, to the most worthy in the most worthy in the most democratic country, even here i am - to the question of our conditional oppositionists there, which means the bulk of them have dumped where -they are sitting there, so to speak , masturbating somewhere in europe, so to speak, but someone is here, still here, and wants say, look at these people, you admired them, they seem to be the result of a product. th

again turn again to the american processes, and, above all, the collision of these two already aged beavisthat is, against the background of trump’s strengthening position, as evidenced by the partial decisions of the constitutional court. second point, look, against the backdrop of this colossal american asymmetry of these two heroes, in quotes, and of course, the deep department of the state of the state, apparently, after all, i i agree, without a scenario for replacing biden, this series, yes there is a series of harris, there is michelle obama, there is geven newson and others, but it seems that there is no real replacement plan, a paradoxical situation arises, that is, there is a feeling that the deep state of those here like chief designers. they benefit objectively, it’s paradoxical, but it’s true, disappearance is beneficial, well, for one reason or another, the physical world of both candidates is different, well, trump, it’s clear the kennedy model is not kennedy, i don’t know, well, biden, that is, if they disappear, perfect charis, controlled, laughing, swearing, it doesn’t ma

beavis and butthead are everywhere. [ laughter ] seriously, there are more republican members of congresscriminal trial than there are at the capitol. just going to throw this out there. it might be a good day to storm it! [ laughter ] you see, trump is under a gag order and can't attack people involved in the case the way he wants to, so his workaround is to summon his army of puppets to do his bidding. the problem is character witnesses should be people of high character, not people of who you would say "he's a real character." [ laughter ] if you're on trial for a criminal charge where character is central to the case. matt gaetz and lauren boebert aren't exactly the role models you want with you in the room. that's like if o.j.'s buddy at his trial were charles manson, hannibal lecter. [ laughter ] got to say i'm surprised to see lauren boebert there. not surprised she showed up, just surprised she hasn't been kicked out yet. i mean, if you're going to get handsy during a performance of "beetlejuice" the musical i can't imagine how turned on you'd get for a hush money to a porn star t

matt gaetz getting up there looking like some kind of cross between a washed up vegas lounge act and beavisut had giving a speech at the rnc is pretty rich considering his own history and troubles with the law, so they need to just -- the two of them, these are not serious people. >> we are going to expect to see trump joined by jd vance at a rally later today in grand rapids, michigan. your thoughts quickly about the idea of finally seen them together at a rally and whether that will resonate in any capacity? >> given that the rnc speech for jd vance is a complete dud, the guy is a fake and a phony, he can't decide which jd vance he is. he called donald trump americas hitler at one point and now look at what he's doing. i think we need to believe jd vance not because what he has been saying, doing, advocating, i wonder what his wife thinks of the positions he has taken, considering they have daughters. it is just remarkable to see two of them together because now, you have a full mega maga misogynist ticket and that is what american women are going to see on display every time the two of t

a big entry point is why won't women beavis me the new white nationalist movement is very much influencedin cell culture for involuntary accelevate, it means that feminism has as doing them to be vergence forever because in the natural order of things with attractive woman would, would marry them. but now these days, you know, they don't have to do that so i spoke to an old school former skin head neo-nazi guy who was shocked by the outright in the mid 2010s because it was so massage dennis he'd seen himself as the protector of white women from people of color. but now they're all these white nationalists joking about beating up women, how they deserve to be abused. >> it some six stuff and a great book, black pill on sale tomorrow. how i witnessed the darkest corners of the internet come to life, poisoned deciding capture american politics i'm sure we're going to see a lot of examples of what you studied in this election. le congratulations, and also arrange relations on your little baby boeing agrees to plead guilty after two deadly crashes. but what does all this mean for the victims f