please say hello to bert kreischer. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, bert, how are you?t all this netflix comedy festival stuff going on this week. you end it with -- you end it or go home after the b1g show this weekend? >> it's mother's day. >> jimmy: it's mother's day. oh, yeah. >> i haven't planned anything. >> jimmy: yeah, you better get something together. >> i think about me first. [ laughter ] i think about me as much as humanitarians think about other people. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're a hu-me-itarian. how was that roast, by the way? was that fun for you? >> terrifying. because first of all, it's a big dais. it's a big list. there's a bunch of murderers. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and -- >> jimmy: i know what you mean. >> yeah. and nikki destroyed. >> jimmy: she did, nikki glaser. >> kevin killed. drew [ bleep ] bledsoe killed. >> jimmy: that was a surprise. that would have bothered me if i was there. >> nikki destroys. tom looks at me, "buddy, we're going to need [ bleep ]." schultz is nervous, an hour and a half into the roast, "we're about to eat [ bleep ] bad." t

bert kreischer is here.rom andra day. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll be right back with chris pine. so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the new petsmart treats rewards™ collect points with every purchase. save big on their favorite services. get free gifts on birthdays and gotcha days. and right now, treats members earn 2,000 points when you spend $20 or more on dog or cat toys. level up your love with the new petsmart treats rewards™ petsmart. anything for pets. ♪ febreze man: i don't about y'all, but when it comes to working from home, i gotta have every part of my house clean. that means tidying up, then spraying my febreze air mist, to leave every room smelling fresh and clean. with that done, it's time to get to work. ♪ la la la la la ♪ is you with me now? ♪ ♪ then biggie-biggie-bounce ♪ ♪ i know you dig the way ♪ ♪ i sw-sw-switch my style ♪ (holla) ♪ people sing around ♪ ♪ now people gather 'round ♪ ♪ now people jump around ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get ur freak on ♪ ♪ go, get

we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel chris pine and bert kreischer.ght. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- chris pine -- bert kreischer -- and music from andra day. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you.

tonight -- chris pine -- bert kreischer -- and music from andra day. with cleto and the cletones. now, jimmy kimmel!

we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel chris pine and bert kreischer. plays for the chiefs after something he said in a graduation speech. you're watching world news now, i can tell you that my beautiful helping families with mesothelioma is all we do. >> our firm has been offering a free book on mesothelioma for over ten years. since that time, thousands with mesothelin umma have trusted us to represent them against those responsible. we have local offices throughout the us. mesoderm glioma really is all we do and there is no risk to you. let us put a plan in place for you and your family. call now. >> call us at 800 363 15 or go to mason book.com. >> i love my work caring for people. i often assist women who struggle with urinary incontinence, women who have fallen trying to reach the bathroom, or who have damaged skin from too much wetness. it can take a toll on them. at home, i worried for my mother a lack of sleep due to bladder leakage affected her life. that's why i'm so glad the pure work system is available for home use. it's an innovative opti

now stick around for taylor tomlinson and her guests bert kreischer, katherine blanford, and rich eisen

josh brolin, jon stewart will be here, luke bryan will be here, mike birbiglia, nikki glaser, bert kreischerperfetti, and david beckham. as musical guests we have incubus, sarah day, and cage the elephant. too many guests, we're going to have to kick people out. [ cheers and applause ] our guest tonight is an exceptionally well-dressed comede wan with a live show for a limited time only, starting tomorrow night at 7:00 pacific and every night next week. the show is called "everybody is in l.a." you can see it on netflix. please welcome john mulaney. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: no one comes out faster than you. [ laughter ] i said your name, suddenly you were on me like a -- >> they were actually holding me back. not a joke. josh was holding me back. >> jimmy: you're like a free safety or something here. >> i'm just so excited. >> jimmy: it's good to have you here, i'm excite to have had you here. >> it's nice to see you, man. >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm very good, how are you? >> jimmy: it's a big week, you've got a lot going on. >> there's a lot going on. >> jimmy: the last time y

this week, we have new shows with chris pine, josh brolin, nikki glaser, bert kreischer, chris perfettic from sarah mclachlan, andra day and cage the elephant. [ cheering ] our first guest has a truck-bed full of amas, cmas and whatever other mas there are. you can watch him nurture and crush young talent alongside lionel and katy on "american idol" live sunday nights here on abc. please welcome luke bryan. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: you smell like leather. >> it's rich mahogany and leather or something, or leather-bound books. >> jimmy: whatever it is, i'm swooning. how are you? >> i'm good, i'm good. good to see you. >> jimmy: it's good to see you too. you worked live last night. >> yeah, we were here last night. >> jimmy: on cinco de mayo. i was able to prolong a margarita until after the show. >> jimmy: one margarita like your song. >> two margarita, three. you know the drill. and a shot. i didn't do the shot. so i avoided that. work. i have to be polished today. >> jimmy: have you found that on cinco de mayo like monster mash on halloween, that one margarita is somethi

me take a bert kreischer and take my shirt off. all right. what about finding a new job as the markets? >> talk about katy perry quit. and 25 million dollar jobs. jobs for people making 55,000 lower. health care, jobs and hospitality hotel jobs, their inflate go there in style. everyone wants well, not everyone but because were vacationing. and we're getting older to the tune of 65 years old. we add roughly 10,065 year-old every day. so health care is doing great. whether you're a nurse or technician pmedical technician, whether you're taking people to and from the hospital lower earner jobs. not great. when we're talking about getting my life and then again, like i said, the hotel's of note. the middle and higher paying jobs, a little tougher to little bit longer to get now. so low paying jobs in style in demand post-pandemic higher paying jobs are. they're we have a healthy job market just not and cast. we're hot on high paid jobs and one topic and that is credit card. so when we have a lower-paying job, put a lot on credit. >> and a lot of

elephant from the don julio outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, chris pine and bert kreischerill join us with music from andra day. that will be tomorrow night. oh -- oh my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? andra taylor-joy and chris hemsworth! [ cheers and applause ] would you like to have a seat? >> we just need to use your bathroom. >> jimmy: what's that? >> we need a bathroom, guillermo doesn't have one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he has a bathroom, he's got a bathroom back there. >> he told us that he didn't, and he kind of gave us a lot of the -- that thing. >> jimmy: all right, the bathroom, there's one right out here -- >> i've got a few friends as well need to use it. >> jimmy: yeah, you can go -- >> come on. >> jimmy: you have friends? >> let's go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, you're leaving? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, wow. there you go. that's most of the cast of "furiosa." are you done hijacking the show, mad maximo? >> guillermo: yeah, jimmy, that was crazy. >> jimmy: all right. it's a weird area

that's a tripoli in there's a guy named bert kreischer who takes off his shirt. it's not. it's not easy to look at. he's a big but he put 33 million dollars last year from tearing netflix got this right, diane. in 2012, 2013, they went after mike birbiglia. they went after lise of slashing are they went after disease. ansari, the start i watch the shows some time watch the show and then i'll go see the comic do new material is they always have to be doing a show on netflix they have to have stuff for the to its brand. that right. and speaking of seinfeld who all these people. >> so he and chappelle bulls got like a 20 million dollars for the specials on that. >> that's so netflix doesn't pay the average committee and a lot of money, but they make them famous on a worldwide basis. right. and i watch every special that comes out to see if i can have a good. >> decompressing kind of evening. even if i don't know the person. and sometimes i really, really like it. so they'll pay the big stars to keep us in mind they got a lot of young up and comers that are cheap. and like you