but the difference beten nicole and i was that i could see in my mindll of my family, all of my friends. i could see my nieces and my nephew, and i could see how by me taking my life was going to have an effect on them because i can see t firsthand of how nicole's suicide effected us >> he has been very private about his personal pain untilno his story is one of several featured in a very painful video that's being shown at all callsx county police roll like this one, encouraging first responders to seek help before it's too late. >> y know,ur bodies, our minds were not built to with stand and hold all that we see and endure on a daily basis in our caree and after awhile that begins to build up. >> as tngs began to build up for him, steve reached out for help. i cried when i realized i needed to g get help. everybody is worried about how is this going to effec work? what do i have to disclose? what do i not? >> out of his heartache came hope. than thanks to therapy. >> i don't regret thedecision. just the one hour every other week where someone aually sit and listens to me. >> by sharin