bill buckley rescued me from myself. i'd been over in paris at the -- occasionally going to class but spending time doing research at various cafes and testing the alcoholic content of various drinks. but i also was writing, and i thought i was going to be the next scott fitzgerald or ernest hemingway. i kept getting back rejection slips. i wrote a novel, wrote short stores, wrote poems, and i got very depressed and saying, what am i doing? i came back home, sitting in my parents' home, thinking, what am i going to do? write another novel? more short stores? what. i took time out to write an essay, short, about france, where i'd been living, saying that unless they elected a strong leader like a degaulle, they were headed for the bottom, long ways from napoleon. and i said to -- i senting this off to "national review pie and i'd never met bill buckley but he accept it and published it. i said, oh, the market is telling me something. the market is telling me something. >> your first publication? >> ballistic first profess