and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if acting talent were asteroids, i would do him in an arcade. sitting next to me is the great actor sean canin looking as ugly as ever of -- as ever. >> he is hooked on fon nicks. >>> his progressive pining has leadership declining. good to see you, pinch. >> three cheers and all manner of hoopla for the giants and their over time victory over the 49ers of san francisco. reminds me of the big blue teams back when the helmets were leather no matter what the weather. i recall a notable giant quarterback who did an oopsie-dasie over the goal line and the confederate clause separate but equal. securing a 1923 championship win for the good guys. it was a jim dandy of a game even though jim crowe laws were still in affect. that's it. >> that certainly is it. >> yes. >> all right. as newt surges, mitt purges. gingrich is now hot and romney is taking shot. he is unleashing blistering attacks on his roly-poly rival. according to two polls he is now leading in florida ahead of next tuesday'

and he takes his showers at the library, my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and she is so smart that the s.a.t.'s take her in the spring. it is lori rothman. and he is a stupid talking paper. our "new york times" cory spawn department. >> -- correspondent. >> and they write why america should give guantanamo back to cuba on the 10th birthday. or to put it another day, micorn -- [speaking spanish]. loosely translated, my heart is big and full of sun, much like pre jenny craig jennifer hudson. doesn't really pertain to gitmo, but that's all of the spanish i know. >> i am impressed. i >>- q. i am impressed. >> you know many language. >> i do as well as the language of love. >> all right then. >> then all right. >>> could a guy with a boot be better than newt? i speak of vermin supreme, yes, the vermin supreme who got a little roughed up during an occupy rally outside a rick santorum event in new hampshire. >> thank you, sir. >> how do you feel by getting attacked by rick santorum supporters? >> i wasn't too happy about it, but it is politics. i am tough and roug

my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he kills audiences with his subtle humor and his collection of knives. sitting next to me, the host of "funny story" that airs on sirius xm radio. and our "new york times" correspondent, good to see you, pinch. >> today in the new york section, jersey governor chris christie vows to veto any same-sex marriage bill that comes across his desk. how can an area known as the fwar den state disapprove of nuptials? while the giants may play in new jersey they can only marry each other in new york. go big blue! you can see his arm. >>> is there something he did that will ruin newt's bid? is pelosi in the know-see. house minority leader nancy pelosi took a cryptic tone with john king on tuesday night whose show we beat in the ratings. don't know why i put that in there. she asked what he thought about a newt presidency. i wonder if she will make a prediction by saying it ain't gonna happen and there is something she knows. >> let me make my prediction and stand by it. it isn't going to hap

bill schulz thinks he is on a date with michelle beatle right now. and sitting next to me is the co anchor of fox and friends. it is brian kilmead. i am violating a court order by being this close to him. and his readers are leaving because his words are deceiving. it is our "new york times" correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> ahoy first time viewers. i am the cory spawn department who also -- correspondent who happens to be at "new york times." i talk about distributing the wealth and the cultural race as the american self and the organic neatness of brooklyn. i am commentary on what the gray lady actually is, or a parity of how the right view t.z and also, i am drunk. one too many after work jim fizzies for me i'm afraid. all the news that's fit to news, burp. >> never not, not funny. >> what are you talking about puppets? i am a living creature. >> make him go away. >> jim henson was wonderful. >> do i have a new respect for him. >>> does an up tick for rick mean nit for mitt? santorum is soring with a poll showing him at 21%. but romney sti

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he has been voted top comedian and sitting next to me joe derosa. his latest cd is called "return of the sun of depression." please buy these. and his weekend edition is worse than addition. it is our "new york times" correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> steven holder calls "red tails" quote, pilots who fought to sore above racism. i too often sore above racism. each time they throw me over greg gut field's -- gutfeld's head. >> there aren't anymore paper boys. >> yes, and they are delicious. >> interesting. >> does a character flaw make him a better draw? well, dr. keith ablow thinks so, sign here subjecting gingrich's infidelities means he would make a strong president. wow. the psychologist and fox news contributor notes that, quote, three women have met mr. gingrich and have been so moved by his emotional energy and intellect that they decide they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with him. and one felt this way even though he, quote, was not exactly her equal in th

special thanks to patti ann browne and andy and and and bill schulz. i will see you when i see you.at means.

special thanks to patti ann browne and andy and and and bill schulz. i will see you when i see you.that means. captioned by closed captioning services, inc.

and -- dan soder and please refrain from feeding him scraps from under the table, bill schulz. and he is a man to be feared with a beard. he is from streetcar negligent .com. it is our "new york times" cory spawnent did. good to see you, pinch. got a problem? >> i have a bit of a head cold, and as you know i am all head. andrew rosenthal wrote about the recent horrors of polygamy. after the failed pennsylvania senator made this comment, he put an ugly sweater vest on over the sweater vest he was already wearing. so it is to further prove that he mimz -- that he himself is not a homosexual. greg? >> no, he just wants sweater vests. >> and what is being cold if not hetero. >> occupy wall sthreet -- wall street still has cash in its bank account and some want to become investors. the group is about 300 grand left after raising 700 between october and january. and they are taking suggestions on how to spend the loot. among the you proposals, burn it all on a bonfire on wall street. split the cash among the occupy yes, sirs, set aside money to help jailed comrades, buy a house for h

bill schulz. that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld. >> welcome back. the national debt is now reportedly as large as the entire u.s. economy. "u.s.a. today" reports the government owes more than $15.3 trillion. as of september the value of all goods and services produced in a year equaled 15.17 trillion. senate republicans blamed what they called a failure of the leadership from president obama. >>> wall street started off the week on the plus side. the dow gained 33, s&p finished ahead 3 and nasdaq up 2. the economy is tough on veterans trying to find work. jennifer griffin tells us what's being done about that in this return hero's report. >> unemployment rates may be falling for some americans but not for young veterans from iraq and afghanistan. >> we have 850,000 veterans who can't find work. the overall unemployment rate came down a little bit last month but unemployment for veterans of iraq and afghanistan continue to rise. >> ettes not something the country should be proud of when you have unemployment in the 33% tile for the youngest. we have

and my sidekick, bill schulz. and if fierce commentary were like flossing i would do him every day in front of the mirror. wake up. and all of his words are for the birds. our "new york times" cory spawn department. -- correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> void and be league erred. there was enough room for a third b-word, but if there was i would like to think our editors would have chosen boy sen berry. no reason. i just like that flavor of tea. ♪ all the news that's fit to print, yeah ♪ >> wow. mailing it in again. >> that was delightful. >>> will voters care that newt wanted to share? gingrich's former wife says the candidate asked for an open marriage to continue an affair for the woman who is now his wurnt wife. in an interview -- urent current wife. -- current wife. marion discussed the moment when newt told us about calista. >> he said, yes, but you want me all to yourself. calista doesn't care what i do. >> what was he saying to you, do you think? >> he was asking to have an open marriage, and i refus

it is bill schulz. and sitting next to me is new york observer and contributor dana vachon. and good to see you, pinch. >> today our on-line opinion natter asks, was english being a global language should americans spend time studying poland languages in school? i believe it was a french philosopher saying the danger of being mono-lingual is, quote -- [speaking french]. which loosely translated states "i am the only butt doctor on duty. have you no choice but to let me disrobe and examine you." owe ky he didn't say -- okay, he didn't say that. >> bill told you to say that. >> i don't know who this bill is, but he sounds great. >> i had no idea. >>> is the whiney population back? on saturday protesters repeatedly clashed with cops throwing rocks and bottles and spraying walls with graffiti and smashing glass cases at city hall and burning an american flag. more than 400 were arrested and it appears gene quan has changed her initial position of coddling these criminals telling reporters, quote, people in the community have to stop making excuses for this behavior. and the form

special thanks to patti ann browne and andy and and and bill schulz. i will see you when i see you.

bill schulz is on assignment, meaning he is passed out in his own fit. filling in is john devore, new haircut. and he knows free markets like i know free basing, it is a first time guest. there is no pinch today, thank god. let's go to the story. he went from lefty icon to the autobon. he struggled for the poor and now selling a four-door as an awesome spokesman for mercedes-benz. this week the luxury automaker barrowed his image, slapping their symbol on his beret. we don't have the picture. it cost $2,000. so we simulated it. it was part of the new initiative that promotes car pooling. shut up, sherrod. revolutionary indeed. mercedes new car allows drivers to reduce emissions by using social technology to find compatible pass scrers to share rides with. i wonder if compatible are murderous guerrillas. they say, some think the car sharing board is come munition. if that is the case, viva la revolucion! and now to cuba where they launched their own high-tech auto. >> some say are you a pr genius, dane gnaw, and by some i mean you. right before our show d

special thanks to patti ann browne and andy and and and bill schulz. i will see you when i see you.

and bill schulz. and if he was a rug i would bang him with a broom, shaw -- sharod small. >> black history month is coming. >> and you are getting a start. >> good to see you, pinch. >> in the sign section, teens describe how viruses evolve and affect cells in little more than two weeks. speaking of viruses, sherod small can no longer take me into the men's room with him. i am now a petri dish of disease. black and white history month right now. >> will voters swoon over his plan for the moon? on wednesday, an actual day of the week, newt gingrich told a crowd in florida that he wants to colonize the second banana as it is known among the nasa insiders. and it makes me wonder if by the end of newt's second term will we have the first permanent base on the moon. >> by the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the moon. i will as president put a marker down. we want to think boldly about the future. >> i am excited. were his remarks over the top or somewhere in the middle of th

it is bill schulz. and if commentary was knock, knock jokes i would do him on the school bus. and the editor-in-chief of the great website "the daily caller." and our "new york times" correspondent. >> according to adventures in parenting column, the stay at home fathers are not so rare anymore. and all you seemingly i'm mass skew lated mr. moms shouldn't hang your head in shame. to quote lmfao, you clean the house even if you were dead ♪ ♪ now stop, hatin is bad >> now subscribers and their hip kids love me. >> what does lmfao stand for? >> they are the simon and gar funk kill of party rock. >> i thought they were more like hall and oats. >> no, they are ahead of hall and oats. but the hair is equally as curly. will their pause -- applause give mitt pause? it was newt's night at the forum. the audience was loudly cheering gingrich and giving him a rare standing o. why not? his performance was rousing. that's what i read in rousing magazine. and so i wonder if williams would ask speaker gingrich if he would have said black americans should demand jobs and not food stamps. >> s

bill schulz, he thinks he is a miranda, but he is a samantha. and sitting next to me is a first time guest. she the arizona guest and there is a good chance that an hour from now he will be firing his media people. and he is running low on ink because everybody thinks he stinks. that's our "new york times" correspondent. it is moderately good to see you, pinch. >> "the times" are limited and they attempt to excrete out an nfl playoff preview. personally i stopped following the game during its infancy when the professionals gouged the i's and the ovaltine during the second period of what was otherwise a jim dappedy of a -- dandy of a faceoff. being unsporty does president cut it for this year, shorty. >> that's it. that was old t mcwhite only. >> he was a popular player in the 20s. once he integrated they were shun. >> thanks for that bit of history. >> you are welcome for that bit of history. >>> will heading down south hit mitt in the mouth or newt become mute? gingrich has lost his early lead in the palmetto state with romney and santorum and

it is my sidekick, bill schulz.ng next to me is the managing editor michael money that you han. and his readership dies as it is used to swat flies. good to see you pinch. diswried in arts and leisure, we review a cracker jack of a film that looks at harry bellafonte's life. ♪ come mr. tallyman ♪ tally me banana ♪ come mr. tally man tally me banana ♪ >> that's the thing with the youth of today. they don't tally me banana like they used to. >> why do i know when i heard the name belafonte that would follow. >> you know what else is great? when you slip on them, it is humor. >> thank you. >> you are welcome. >> so, were they prostitutes or just in their birthday suits? dsk, didn't know either way. the sex-crazed socialist is in the middeafl hooker ring probe. cell phone records show he had sex with 10 call girls. but strauss-kahn's defense is he had no way of knowing women at swinger parties were prosti's because they were all naked at the time. define the difference between a naked prostitute and any other woman. tha

bill schulz, pardon the interest ropings and sitting next to me a first-time guest, bernard. and he is a pain in the neck who spouts nothing but dreck. good to see you. >> the presidential race moves on from iowa, and considering the surprising numbers, you might say rick santorum was mitt romney's caucus blocker if you will. >> nobody would say that. >> everybody would say that. >> after months of listening to candidates, voters have weighed in of the amazingly, many think romney's first name is mittens. it is true. according to a 60 minutes van gnaw knee poll 60% think mitt stands for mittens and his given name is latrell. actually it is willard mitt romney so his middle name is short for mitten. he beat rick santorum by over seven votes. and for the rest of the results, consult the cable news and/or internet for the past 24 hours. what does it mean? well, bachmann like secrist, out. ron paul is strong and yet disappointing third. santorum, left for surging. gingrich -- i mean, willard. >> we want to con fwrat late romney, the winner there. i am wondering why. >> i know you

thanks to sandra smith, bill schulz and bernard. loved you. i'm tv's andy levy. ♪ see you next time. >> bret: on to new hampshire for the republican presidential candidates but not everyone is making the trip. this is "special report." ♪ ♪ >> bret: good evening. i'm bret baier. we're back in washington after tuesday's caucus. as the presidential candidate head to new hampshire, the roster will be at least one short with the departure this morning of minnesota congresswoman michele bachmann. steve brown is in des moines to look at how one of iowa top performers pulled it off, but we begin with chief political correspondent carl come ron who is in the next battleground state of new hampshire. >> reporter: front runner new hampshire rolled in new hampshire touting the endorsement of john mccain and the slimmest iowaca cuss win ever over dark horse rick santorum. >> what a squeaker, but it's nice to have a win. the question i have for you can we do better in new hampshire? >> reporter: new hampshire is a state that will catapult him on to victory

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz.nd he is one of the best known names in journalism, but her -- but geraldo rivera couldn't make it. so we have rick eleven ven that will. and it is our "new york times" cory spawn department. good to see you, pinch. >> in our hip front page, a report on the hour -- on the more and more couples that are sharing their passwords to all of their on-line accounts. how passe. all of sour employees have audio passwords. you might say my voice is my passport. somebody call tech support post haste! i must call my log-in. post haste, i must say. >> enclose the joint to make a point. they closed down for an entire day to protest the anti-piracy bill known as sopa and pippa which incidentally are not the names of my two extra toes. it would mean sites could be punished by movies and critics say and they say they could damage the free and open internet. and so visitors were greeted with a message imagine a world without free knowledge. everybody was freaking out, especially high school students. so

special thks to juliette and bill schulz. that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld.